“Rook, can I call you Rook?” Joe asked.
“No. Call me master,” Rook growled.
“Okay, Rook it is then. Here's the thing, Rook. You clearly brought me here to use me for your own gain. That's not working out so well for you, I can see that. As you said, you're a source of contention. Only, I am not a contentious individual. I can only assume that in choosing me, you were trying to force more contention into the world. You were going to make me contend with myself, as well as cause wars. Ultimately, you would have had to destroy me. I would not have done what you wanted. I'm stubborn enough to stick to my principles, and dumb enough to be unable to see reason. The good news for you is this, I will contend with evil. For things like slavery and oppression, there is no compromising in me. Yes, my level is low, but I'm here to play. The idea of building a kingdom from nothing, and fighting for right, is invigorating to me. I won't stay at this level for long. In the short time I have left, in my existence, I will build a place that contends with the very nature of reality. A place where all are welcome and all are safe. I know this is not the way you've ever done anything, but that is part of the reason you're weak. Without a kingdom like I want to build, you will remain forever out of balance. The oppressed now have a Champion. I will push back! I will contend! I won't do things that you ask me to do, but this is good news for you,” Joe said.
“In what universe, would a servant ignoring a master's wishes be good news?” Rook yelled.
“In a universe where the master was a being of contention. You will literally thrive when I tell you no. I will contend with you, and you will love me for it,” Joe said.
“I need you to get back in your body, so that I can break all your bones while you feel the shards tear through your muscles and cartilage,” Rook said, somehow back in his golden armor.
“That's the spirit. Good for you. You want to fight me? I think that can be arranged, after you pay off some of your debt, of course. But you should know from the beginning, I will contend with you. What you fail to understand, is that this whole reality was made for me to conquer. I'm including you in that. I won’t end up having near enough time to finish, but while I'm here, I will successfully conquer every opponent. I'm sure I won't win every battle, but I will win every war. For every step I take back, I will take two steps forward. You should get on board, because my star is rising. Look at things rationally. Less than ten minutes after you met me, I gave you the opportunity to get back to full strength. This debt you owe me is there because of the large gift I gave you. You called it an attack, but it wasn't an attack, it was a lifeline. Do the smart thing. Aid me the best you can. Don't pay your debt grudgingly. Do so with a cheerful heart. Trust me, the alternative is not worth contemplating. You will follow where I lead. Otherwise, I'll crush you beneath my feet. I'm trying to help you out. You can be great, or you can be a footnote in the histories of enemies I have defeated,” Joe said with a smile. He was having fun playing this game. It was invigorating standing up against the bully, knowing that you could not be defeated.
Rook fell to the floor, putting his head in his hands, and began to gently weep. His armor was no longer golden, it was not even silver. He sat on the floor, in rusty red battered armor, looking like a punch drunk knight with no king. Joe was not sure what to do. His natural inclination was to comfort someone who was weeping. Only in this context, it was really inappropriate.
Joe just stood there and waited, feeling very uncomfortable when the only sound was a weeping fake god.
“I'm lost. I am undone. I have hitched my wagon to a man who has no connection to reality. I told you a story that should have scared the life out of you. You didn't even bat an eyelid. I may have fudged a few of the details on my involvement, but I could tell that you didn't know that. It should have made you fear me, not confront me. You're a freak! Someone who truly believes that the whole universe was made for them to conquer? I am a being, who’s lived for untold millennia, and yet, you truly believe I was made for you. And what's worse, your belief is so strong, it makes me question my own sanity. Was I made for you? It feels as if my very soul is being toyed with. You were supposed to be a pawn I could use, and then sacrifice. This is what I was told during the conflux. Come to this valley. Take charge of its Champion. Use him to provoke the third elven kingdom, and then let them destroy him. Why couldn't I tell that I was being manipulated? I can't remember a conflux I didn't have at least have a hint that I was just being used... I shouldn't have told you my nature. Without that knowledge, you wouldn't have been able to close the contract. You're a servant only in name. You'll do whatever you want and, the worst part is, I will continue to accrue a debt for everything you do. I should have closed my thoughts to you and fled,” Rook said with defeat evident in his every movement. Joe shook his head, this defeatism would not do.
“You're not a spirit of fear! You're not a whiner! You contend! It is what you are. It's what you do. Stand up! Get out your list. Pay what you need to pay. Collect where you need to collect. You can only go up from here. You're welcome. You said it yourself. You've been alive for millennia, you have work to do. Go do it. And if, in your journeys, you happen upon a powerful magical item that could be useful to me, acquire it. Then we can see about getting your debt reduced,” Joe said.
Rook looked up at Joe, and his jaw firmed. Standing up, Rook walked back to where the two goblins were still lying on the floor in fetal positions.
“You might not have to do what I ask, but I don’t have to do what you ask either. I will pay you back the way I want, not on your terms,” Rook said, regaining some of his former confidence.
“Touché,” Joe said.
“I will leave, though. Maybe I will go pay debts, maybe not. It is not for a worm, like you, to know. But before I go, I will make my first repayment to you. Bork and Grork, stand up and face this man. Tell me what you see,” Rook said. The two goblins stood and looked at Joe, then spoke in some language Joe did not know. Rook smiled.
“Yes, I completely agree. He is extremely ugly, but I will have to take your word on the smell. Not that I doubt you slaves, it's just that I don't register smells the same way disgusting biological creatures like yourselves do. You should know he is not a ghost. He is a man machine thing. Whatever that is. Bork and Grork, you are now his slaves. I transfer the debt you have to me, to him. Now, little Joe, you're the one who's welcome,” Rook said with a smile.
“I told you, Rook, I don't believe in slavery. I don't accept your gift,” Joe said.
“Too late, I already gave them to you. But feel free to re-gift them you don’t like them. Also, just because you don't believe in slavery, doesn't mean they don’t. Gift given, and I can see that my debt has gone down some, good. I should find more slaves for you. This could be a good way to settle up. That is enough for now, though. I will see you later, Joe, I hope you die. Really, please die,” Rook said in a congenial voice, then disappeared.
Chapter 7 - Booger Flick
Once he was gone, the large room that Joe and the goblins were in changed. The pillars, the torches, and the dais all ceased to exist. With the absence of the torches, the cathedral-like hall was now just a large cave, with some sort of meeting circle in the center. It was now noticeably darker. It did not take Joe's eyes long to adjust, though, as the walls and floor still glowed.
Kneeling before Joe were his two new goblin slaves.
“Well, that just beats all. But, I'm alive, so that's good. Okay, he said your names were Bork and Grork. You’re free. I free you,” Joe announced.
“You know what he say?” Grork asked Bork.
“I dunno. Maybe it be okay,” Bork said.
“Shoot. I can't understand you. Apparently, I don't speak goblin. Although, I didn't speak yeti until I jumped on top of Bridcha. Maybe I need to touch you,” Joe said. At this point, Joe took a step forward raising his right hand to put on Bork’s head. Bork did not move a muscle, but Joe could see fear in his eyes. The problem came when Joe’s hand sho
uld have touched the goblin. Instead of making physical contact, Joe’s hand passed right through Bork, making both of them shudder. Joe took his hand and tried to touch other parts of Bork. Joe’s hand went through him every single time. With a frustrated look on his face, Joe walked over to Grork and tried the same thing, with the same result. Apparently, Joe couldn't touch living beings. Which felt completely unfair, because Rook was able to backhand him across the room.
“What he doing?” Grork asked.
“I think he want hit us, but can't?” Bork said.
“What we do?” Grork asked.
“I no want say, Grork,” Bork said, looking down.
“You need say, Bork,” Grork said.
“I no want to, but okay. He want hit us, but can't. To obey master, we must hit each other. Then master be happy,” Bork said.
“Okay. I start,” Grork said, without any compunction.
“Thanks Grork, you me pal. I not wanted to. Maybe go easy?” Bork said.
“You sure?” Grork asked.
“No. Never mind,” Bork said.
“Okay,” Grork said and then raised his goblin fist and punched Bork right in the eye, as hard as he could. Bork, having not set his feet, spun around and fell right to the floor. His eye immediately began to swell up. Grork raised his fist again to hit Bork a second time, but Joe jumped in front of him, holding his hands out in the universal sign for stop. Lucky for Bork, Grork understood, and stopped.
“Good job, Grork! I glad one was enough. I need least one eye to see,” Bork said.
Joe stayed in between them so they wouldn't start fighting again. It was a puzzle. Not sure what to do, Joe attempted to mind-click both of them.
NPC, Grork
Slave of Joe
NPC, Bork
Slave of Joe
Full mind-click capability limited due to lack of body.
This was the first time Joe’s HUD had designated an NPC, but he did not like the idea of a slave in any capacity.
“That's not good. Apparently, saying ‘I free you,’ doesn't free you. I need my body. Hopefully, I can free you once I'm back where I need to be. Well, follow me,” Joe said, then just randomly picked from one of the exits of the large cathedral-like cave room.
“Bork? It really want lead us to vampire-controlled caverns?” Grork asked. Bork put his head forward, and brought his hands up, covering his eyes. Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, Bork prepared to do what he hated. He steeled himself to tell someone they were going the wrong way.
“I not know, but it wrong way. Grork, draw vampire here,” Bork instructed, pointing to the smooth floor where they were standing.
“Bork? Me draw for me. No for him,” Grork said, frowning at Bork, his hairy eyebrows tilting unhappily. Bork showed a concerned face, sympathizing with Grork.
“I know. You do art for you, but we need make him see. Please draw,” Bork said.
Grork reached in his pack, and pulled out a few rocks of different colors. He began drawing a vampire. By this point, Joe realized they were not following and paused. Joe had stepped into the tunnel entrance, already crossing the threshold. Part of him was thinking that maybe if he just left them, they would be freed. Before he could make his decision, he noticed Bork waving him over. Heading back over to them, Joe saw that one of them was drawing. The other one was pointing to the exit he had been about to go through, and then down to the drawing. Bork kept repeating this action, over, and over. Joe bent over Grork as he drew and looked down at the unfinished sketch. It looked like maybe it was a face? The eyes seem to be red. As Grork continue to make progress on the drawing, it became clear to Joe that whatever was beyond the exit he had been going to take, was not fun.
Once Grork was finished, Joe looked down and saw the unsmiling malevolent face of a vampire. Bork had taken one of the white rocks, and drawn an arrow to the tunnel entrance with a big X through it.
“I get this feeling that you guys don't want me to go that way,” Joe said with a smile on his face, knowing they couldn't understand him. Joe walked over to the tunnel threshold and pointed at it.
Again, Bork drew a big X on the ground, and said, “Gek.”
Joe pointed to the tunnel leading to the vampire area and said as clearly as he could, “Gek.”
“Gek,” Bork agreed.
“I'm thinking ‘gek’ means no, or maybe bad. Okay, now I just need to figure out what word in your language means yes,” Joe said mostly to himself. Again, Joe pointed to the vampire entrance and said, “Gek.”
“Gek,” Bork also repeated.
“He dumb?” Grork asked Bork.
“Maybe,” Bork answered. Joe then walked over to a different tunnel entrance and pointed at it.
Grork drew an X and Bork spoke up.
“Gek, Gek.”
Joe sat before Bork, held his hands out, and shrugged his shoulders. He was hoping this would convey the concept of “show me why.” Joe was in luck, Bork truly wanted to be helpful.
“Grork, draw cold desolate valley, with tiny sun that provide no heat. Make sure include dangerous predators on surface. That no place it want go. There's no heat there. No food. You be dead. Don't be dead,” Bork said with the sound of reverence. Grork began to draw, then repeated the hallowed words.
“You be dead. Don't be dead,” Grork intoned. Joe sat patiently as Grork drew the valley. The valley included the mesa, but not Joe’s castle. Grork used a white rock to show the snow on much of the valley. The white was also used to show the huge frozen lake and the ancient still rivers that once fed into it. As Grork drew, Bork kept making shivering motions and holding his tummy. Joe couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of the situation. Two greenish brown goblins were playing the games of Pictionary and Charades with him. Who would have thought that not knowing a language could create such a fun mini-game? It didn't take long before Joe realized it was his valley. He had seen from it from his high castle. They clearly did not want to go into the valley. Joe pointed to the tunnel leading to his valley and mimed shivering just like Bork was doing. Bork, seeing that Joe was understanding, began nodding his head.
“Oog,” Bork said. Joe pointed at both of the cave entrances that the goblins had said no too.
“Gek,” Joe said smirking.
Bork smiled and said, “Oog, Oog.”
“Okay I am thinking that ‘Oog’ means yes. This is good. Progress,” Joe said to himself. Joe wished he could grab the chalk and draw a castle in the valley. Then he could show them it was his. Abruptly, Bork stiffened and looked toward the tunnel leading to the vampire area.
“Grork! Danger!” Bork said. With a speed that surprised Joe, Grork jumped away from his drawing and set his feet. Reaching behind his back, Grork pulled out a pickaxe. The way he spun the pickaxe and stroked the wooden handle, showed familiarity and care that only came from using a weapon in military service. Grork was preparing for danger. Bork was pulling herbs and vials from his pack and placing them into slots on Grork's belt. Their actions were quick, and neither one got in the way of the other. They had been a team for a long time. Joe felt a coldness, and tasted bitterness on the tip of his tongue. It was weird, being a spirit on walk about, he would not have thought he could taste anything. Because all the walls glowed slightly, Joe was able to see the halfling who walked up to the threshold of the tunnel. He didn't look like Moes. This halfling was gaunt and pale. As it spoke, its voice was like silk, sliding and snagging over thistles.
“You crossed the threshold into our lands, spirit boy,” the pale halfling said.
“I did. Though I am no boy, there's no need to be derogatory. After all, we're all adults here. Let's all just have a conversation, and get this straightened out,” Joe said, taking the initiative, and stepping in front of the combat-ready Grork.
“You speak halfling? That's surprising, boy. It's too bad you find it derogatory, but truth is truth. I've been around for nearly 50 revolutions around our sun. For a vampire, most are children. Tasty child
ren, but still children. You stepped into our realm; a price must be paid. Give me those two slaves, and we'll call it even,” the halfling said, raising his pale limp hand gesturing to Grork and Bork. Back where Joe was from, it took Earth 365 days to go around the sun. That was not the case where Joe currently was. If the time was converted to earth years, the Moon that they were on took over 11 years to go all the way around its sun. In terms of actual time, he was speaking to someone over five times his age. Not that it truly mattered. In a magical reality, it's less about time and more about symbolism.
“Nearly 50 years, huh? I guess I should be the one calling you boy, then. I'm nearly a hundred years old, myself. My name is Joe, King Joe. What's yours?” Joe asked with a flat tone.
“One does forget the niceties. I am Neg, Sentry Neg, to use your form. It is too bad you're just a spirit, King Joe. I have heard that king's blood is delicious, and a king as old as you, if you speak truth, that is… Well, that would be remarkable. I assume. You never answered my question. Will you pay your debt? You violated our territory, even if it was just a step. Give me your slaves, and walk away,” Neg said, flicking his pale fingers. The vampire’s posture and bearing looked like a thin cotton sheet draped over a pole. Each time he gestured it was as if wind caught a small part of the fabric, and flicked it up. Only instead of clean cotton, Joe sensed only dark sticky malevolence.
“I need to clear up some confusion. These two goblins are their own people. They may have been slaves, but the moment they were given to me, they were freed, even if they didn't know it. So, even if I wanted to, which I don't, I couldn't give them to you. I encroached upon your realm. From time to time things like this happen. Let's not make more of it than it is,” Joe said.
You're Not Allowed to Die (The Twenty-Sided Eye Series Book 1) Page 17