by Kat Baxter
“Shhh,” Jilly soothed.
But I was inconsolable. “I can’t believe he left me.”
“I need you to get past the crying stage so I can let loose some tough love on you,” Jilly said, her voice patient and her hand still rubbing my back.
But her words jarred me enough that I choked on a laugh. “What?”
“I have some things you need to hear. But I can’t verbally beat on you while you’re crying so hurry it up.” She quickly stood and got me a glass of water, then sat back down.
I wiped my face on my apron and took deep, gulping breaths to calm myself. “You’re upset with me.” It wasn’t a question; I could see the truth of the matter all over her face. I gulped the water.
“I am. You’re being a damned idiot.”
I frowned, doing my best to glare at my friend. “You’re going to kick me while I’m down?”
“You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is your mess. You made it.”
I sniffed. “Thanks a lot, Jilly.”
“Well, it needs to be said. Someone needs to call you on your shit. Cooper didn’t leave you.”
“Yes, he did.” My voice was harsh and full of anger. “You didn’t hear what he said. He basically broke up with me as his best friend.”
She shook her head. “Ally, you pushed him away. How have you missed everything? He’s always been right there, loving you, but you’re too damn stubborn to see that y’all belong together.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “No, he just thinks he loves me. It’s all an illusion. He’s got sex brain.”
“Yeah? Is it an illusion that you love him? Sex brain made you feel the same way?”
“No! I know exactly how I feel.” I brought my hand to my mouth in surprise. My eyes widened.
Jilly cocked an eyebrow at me. “Hadn’t realized that, had you?”
“I’m in love with him,” I whispered. “Oh my God, I’m in love with Cooper. How long have I been in love with him?” My heart pounded as if answering my stupid question.
“I’d guess about as long as he’s loved you. He just dug his head out of his ass earlier than you.”
“Oh Jilly, what have I done?”
“You basically negated all of his feelings, told him you didn’t feel the same—a lie, obviously—and said your marriage was a big fat mistake.” She reached over, softness in her features again as she grabbed my hand. “I’m pretty sure you broke his heart. He looked totally devastated when he left.”
I tapped my head on the wall behind me. “I’m such an idiot!”
“Pretty much.”
“Dammit!” I shot to my feet. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
She chuckled. “You wouldn’t have listened. Now you need to ask yourself the important questions.”
“Which are?”
“Are you willing to be with Cooper even if it means you never get to have babies?”
“Yes.” My hand flew to my mouth. I didn’t even have to consider the answer. “Yes. I love him. Oh, I love him so much.” I eyed my friend. “How are you doing this, by the way? Making me realize everything I hadn’t known just by asking questions?”
She shrugged. “I have a gift.”
“I ruined everything.”
“You can still fix it,” Jilly said.
Ideas swam through my head even as doubt fell on my shoulders. “What if he changes his mind? What if he takes me back only to leave me again? Everyone has left me, Jilly. My parents left me. Even before they died, they’d given up on me. They’d waited so long to have a child and then I was nothing like what they’d wanted.” I frowned feeling the weight of loss all over again. “Then Ted and the other stupid boyfriends before him. Only two, but still. They all left me. I’m a hot mess.”
“Even hot messes deserve love.”
“I’m scared,” I said.
“Sweets, love is a risk. Every damn time it’s a risk. There are no guarantees in this life, but given your choice, I’d choose a man who loves me.” Her voice softened. “Don’t you think Cooper is worth the risk?”
I nodded. “He’s worth everything.”
“Then let’s figure out how you can win him back.”
Chapter 23
Ally had texted me earlier in the day asking for help. She was evidently moving out of my house today and was struggling with something in my closet.
I’d been so tempted to send someone else to help her. Hell, I could have hired some college boys to move all of her stuff in less than two hours. But that seemed like the chicken shit route of doing things.
Our relationship would never be what it was. It made me sad as fuck, but I knew there was no going back to the way things were before. I couldn’t be in the same room with her and not want to touch her. She was under my skin, almost as if she were part of my DNA, my very cells.
I slid the key in the front door and made my way back to the bedroom. I stopped when my foot crunched on something. I looked down. Condom wrapper. Not just one, but hundreds, maybe thousands, all over the floor, all over the bed. A rainbow of safe sex all over my fucking bedroom.
“What the fuck?”
Ally stepped out of the closet holding a plate of cookies. Her shirt was new. I knew all of her T-shirts. This one was different. It appeared to be a cartoon sperm with a big red circle and slash across him. No sperm?
She gave me a tentative smile and walked towards me. The cookies had the exact same image as her shirt.
“What’s going on, Ally?” I asked, knowing there was a hard edge to my tone.
“I don’t want your sperm.”
“Yeah you made that abundantly clear yesterday.” I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Look, I should probably get back to work.” I found myself wanting to explain more, to tell her about the problems with the current project. But we didn’t do that anymore. I sighed. We weren’t Cooper and Ally the way we used to be.
“No, you don’t understand. I don’t want your sperm, but I do want you.” She set the plate of cookies on the bed, then closed in on me, put her hands on my chest. Nothing had ever felt so good as the pressure of her palms against me. I hated the hope that sprang up.
“I’m an idiot, Coop, and I don’t know how you’ve put up with me as long as you have. Do you still love me?”
A humorless laugh escaped my throat. “Yeah. Of course I do. I’ll always love you.”
“Good.” She reached up and cupped my face. “I was scared. Am scared. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved and I thought if I could keep you, neat and tidy, in the friendship box where you’d always lived, then you would always be with me. You’d never leave me.”
I stepped back from her. “Yeah, I told you. It’s not enough for me anymore. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.”
“It’s not enough for me either. I’m terrified, but I’m so in love with you, Cooper. And I want us. I choose us.” She closed the distance between us, again her hands gripped my shirt. “Baby or no baby, I don’t care. I just want you.”
My heart pounded, threatening to jump from my chest and my cock responded as if she’d spoken directly to him. “You love me?”
“Yes. So much. It just scared me. I’m probably going to be nervous about you changing your mind for a while, but I know you’re worth the risk. We’re worth it. I want us to be husband and wife for real. Will you give me a second chance?”
Relief poured through me. “Sweetheart, I’d give you a thousand chances. As long as you let me love you, I’m going to be right next to you.” I picked her up so her face was at the same level as mine. She wrapped her legs around me. “You’re the love of my life, Allycat. Do you know that? Believe it?”
“If it’s a fraction of how I feel about you, then yes, I believe you.”
Then I kissed her.
Epilogue
I came home from brunch with the girls to find the loves of my life snuggled together on the couch.
Both were snoring, though my sweet three-year-old s
on with his head full of brown curls had a much lighter and cuter snore than his daddy’s. I was tempted to stop and kiss them both but I had a bag from the drug store weighing on my arm.
I crept passed them and stepped into our kiddo’s bathroom because it was closest. I closed the door and made quick work of my shorts and panties before sitting. The crinkle of the plastic covering the box seemed ridiculously loud. I winced, hoping I wasn’t waking them up. Not yet, at least.
Finally, I pulled out the magic stick and did my business. I hadn’t yet told Coop that I thought I might be pregnant. It was still early. But I hadn’t been able to resist buying a test (or three) on the way home.
I set the stick on the counter and checked the time on my phone. Three minutes.
But it didn’t even take that long. The result popped up in that little window immediately.
Pregnant.
My heart pounded and tears pricked at my eyes.
I wiped off the stick and popped the lid back on it. Then I made my way back to the living room simultaneously crying and smiling so widely it made my cheeks hurt.
Back in the room with my sleeping boys, I leaned down and kissed Coop gently on the mouth. He woke with a grin.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered in that sexy, sleepy voice of his, “how were the girls?” Then his eyes focused on my face. “Why’re you crying?”
“Look!” I pulled the stick from behind me to show him.
He sat up scrunching Lucas in his lap, but our boy needed more than that to wake up so he just snuggled in and kept on with his light snoring.
“That says ‘pregnant.’” Coop’s brown eyes found mine. “Pregnant. We’re pregnant?”
I nodded, laughing and crying and feeling so full of love I thought I might burst.
He jumped to his feet and grabbed me, picking me up and hugging me to his broad familiar chest. God, I loved this man.
“Allycat, I knocked you up again.”
I laughed.
He pumped a fist into the air. “Yes! I’m going to be a dad again.”
“I love you, babe, so much.”
He cupped my face and met my gaze. “You’ve made me so damn happy, do you know that?” His thumb swiped across my cheek. “I knew as soon as I looked into those gorgeous blue eyes of yours that you were my forever.”
I gave him a watery smile. “Sorry it took me longer to figure it out.”
He kissed my forehead. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Thank you for reading!
I hope you loved Cooper and Ally’s story. Please consider leaving me a review.
Want to connect with me?
Join my Facebook reader group: Baxter Babes
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Pinterest
Follow me on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter
Follow me on Bookbub
Follow me on Goodreads
Visit my website for excerpts of all my books.
Visit my author page on Amazon for links to all of my books.
I also love to hear from readers so feel free to drop me a line anytime.
If you would like a little more of Ally and Cooper, join my newsletter for an exclusive deleted scene.
Other Kat Baxter books
Men in Uniform anthology: The Navy SEAL’s Baby
About the Author
Kat Baxter is the pen name for a bestselling historical romance author. She lives in Texas with her family and a bunch of furry creatures.
Connect with Kat:
Facebook reader group: Baxter Babes
Friend her on Facebook
Follow her on Pinterest
Follow her on Instagram
Follow her on Twitter
Follow her on Bookbub
Follow her on Goodreads
Email her
Join her newsletter
What readers have said about Kat’s books:
“This was a great story!! I’m not usually one for surprise baby stories but this one was different. They didn’t wait long for Kevin to find out. It wasn’t this long drawn out surprise. I liked both characters and the fact that they were both trying to do right by their child but also each other. I loved how amazing Jane was as a single mother with always putting her daughter first but also yearning to want to be someone’s first choice.” ~Stacy, Goodreads
“This story was troupe heavy in the best of ways. Steamy and sweet, there might even have been a swoon worthy moment or two. I love me a Navy Seal and this man will be in my dreams. I loved the contrast between the two main characters, they just worked so well together. Lovely story, 4.5 stars. “ ~Elysian, Goodreads
“5 Stars! Loved it, the initial meet & chemistry between the main characters and the timeframes throughout throughout the book worked really well. “ ~ Paula, Goodreads
“Such a very sweet and spicy story!” ~ Lori, Goodreads
“This anthology is packed full of sexy alphas and the badass ladies that take them on. My favorite stories were Kate Meader’s Coming in Hot and Kay Baxter’s The Navy Seal’s Secret Baby. “ ~ Kristina, Goodreads
“The connection between the characters felt real, and I liked the author’s writing style.” ~ Cara, Goodreads