CHAPTER TWO
Fourteen months later
January 5—5:30 A.M.
Denver, Colorado
Alex lay somewhere between sleep and awake when John began stroking her naked body. She reached for him, and he shifted on top of her. His lips brushed hers before moving to her chin. His tongue flicked the crease in her chin, and his mouth began a biting, pulling journey down her neck. She giggled at the wave of goose bumps down her back and the rising warmth in her core.
She delighted at his weight and his lush male scent. She shivered under his still-moving mouth and skilled surgeon’s hands. Shifting her hips, she drew him into her depths. At the moment of union, he pushed back to look into her brown eyes.
“Good morning,” Alex whispered.
“And a very good morning to you,” he replied in his wonderful London accent.
He began subtle waves of movement that brought them luscious warmth. With deliberate motion, he flipped her on top of him giving him access to her full breasts. Alex increased the pace, moving with purpose against him while he rubbed, bit and tortured her nipples. When she dropped her head back, he sat up to meet her. With his strong arms around her, he moved on top of her and pressed forward. They rose in tempo and pace.
Feeling her close to the edge, he said, “Promise me . . .”
“Oh God, I hate it when you do this.”
He kissed her lips.
“I’m going to buy a vibrator.”
He laughed. He moved his hips, causing her breath to catch.
“Yes, my darling?” he asked imitating her American accent.
“What?”
“You need to leave the house today,” John said.
“I already promised to leave the house today,” she said. She tugged at her dog tag hanging around his neck. She kissed him and bit his lip. “I need to buy a vibrator anyway.”
Dropping his mouth to hers, he continued deep and slow movements until she gasped with pleasure and shuddered against him. He shifted their tempo and followed her in waves of blissful release. They held each other tight, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, entwined.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear.
“Not more than I love you.”
He kissed her nose, nuzzled her neck, and then slipped from the bed to begin his day. When he moved into his closet, she pulled the covers over her head. She was asleep by the time he left for his morning run.
He yanked the covers off her warm, naked body when he returned. She played along and chatted with him until the moment he entered the shower. Flipping the covers over her head, she was asleep.
When she opened her eyes, he was dressed in blue scrubs, ready for another day as a resident in the Vascular Surgery program at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. Knowing her love of coffee, he waved a mug under her nose to wake her. When she reached for the coffee, he held the mug away from her.
“You’ve never broken a promise to me Alex.”
“Not yet,” she said.
“Not in twelve years,” he said. “Come on, love, it’s time to start living again.”
“Yes, I’ll begin with a purple vibrator,” she said taking the cup from him. She sat up against the headboard. Wrapping both hands around the mug, she took a long drink of coffee.
“Why purple?” he asked.
“It’s not your favorite color. You won’t want to borrow it.”
“Oh, I might.”
Moving his hand in quick motion, he made a buzzing sound and pressed his hand between her legs. She screamed and splashed the coffee on the covers. Laughing, he gave her a hand towel to mop up the mess.
“Would you like to take my car? It’s easier to drive.”
She smiled. John loved his Audi A8 like a child. The car’s heated leather seats and plush interior were his daily confirmation that he was no longer a poor, starving orphan. If he’s offering his car, he must genuinely want me to leave the house.
“My mother’s coming to get me,” Alex said. She passed him the mug. Using her hands, she pressed her left leg to the edge of the bed. He gave her a metal forearm crutch. She pushed herself to standing.
“You’re taking your mother to purchase your first vibrator?” he asked. Holding her bathrobe, he helped her slip into the warm terrycloth. He put the mug of coffee in her hand and watched her drain the mug. “You can get a shower? Get dressed?”
“I can,” she said. She kissed him. “Thanks. My mother is taking me to her hairdresser to begin the transformation to Alyssa Kreiger. We have a makeup consultation, contact lenses, clothing, blah, blah, blah.”
“No vibrator?”
“Sadly, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” she said. “Unless you’d like to pick one up.”
“I won’t pick out my replacement, love.” He brushed his lips across her lips and turned to leave the room. She caught his hand.
“Thanks,” she said.
“You have to fight this depression, Alexandra. It’s eating you alive.”
“When you see me next, I’ll be a new woman.”
“Thank God. I was getting a little bored.”
She slapped at him, and he laughed. With one last kiss, he scooted down the stairs, through the kitchen, and out the back door to the garage. She waited until she heard his car pull out before getting back in bed.
Staring at the ceiling, she wondered why she had promised to leave the house. She hadn’t left the house since Zack the Jakker flew her home from Walter Reed. No amount of cajoling, threatening or begging could get her to leave the house once she was finally home. She had even ignored a subpoena from the Senate Subcommittee on Personnel. She wanted to be right here, in this bed, in this house.
But today was THE DAY TO LEAVE THE HOUSE as determined by . . . everyone. Her family had ganged up on her last weekend, making her promise to get out of the house or go on antidepressants and get more counseling. Only John and Max knew that she took antidepressants and saw a counselor.
Not that it helped.
Well . . . she had cried all day and all night the first month. No, two months. She couldn’t stem the flow of tears that had started the moment Eleazar told her that everyone was dead. Everyone was dead except Alex.
Enter pills and counselor. Exit hysteria. She pulled the covers over her head.
Eleazar. Two days and . . . She used her fingers to count the hours until she had to speak to him again. Two days, three hours, and twenty-four minutes until his January call. Her mind went blank.
With a sigh, her internal review resumed. Max kept her from killing herself. Like many twins, they were linked together mentally, emotionally, and psychically. She feared that he would die when she died. She rubbed her hands over her face.
No work today. Alex, now Alyssa, was a cartographer for the 734D Military Intelligence Division. Her interest in maps and her habit of annotating them with interesting details became her career. She was even a Major with a department of her own. Of course, there was no one in her department. Just Alex. And her assistant. Some department.
She worked at home in her secure office with a video link to her assistant and command at Buckley Air Force Base. She had been to the base . . . see, she did leave the house . . . about three months ago. Alex rolled over.
There was no reason for her to leave the house today.
“I know you are thinking that there’s no reason for you to leave the house today,” Max said, as he walked into her bedroom. He pulled the covers from her. “You’re wrong.”
“Ah, Maxie,” Alex said. She gave him her best “you have to understand” face, but he was having none of it.
“Get up,” Max said. “Moping around does you no good. Plus, you’re getting fat.”
“WHAT?” Alex jumped from the bed. “What do you mean, I’m getting fat? I’ve always been too thin. I’m still too thin. Last time I checked, I was less than 15% body fat.”
Max laughed. He had tricked her into getting out of the bed.
She plopp
ed onto the bed, and he sat next to her. When he put his arm around her, she rested her head against his shoulder. The twins sat on the bed, in silent communion, until Alex’s cell phone began vibrating in the pocket of her bathrobe.
“Love?” John asked. “I know you’re still in bed.”
“Actually, your best friend is berating me about how fat I’ve become.”
John laughed.
“I just wanted to let you know that . . .”
The doorbell rang.
“I scheduled the cleaners this morning.”
“You what?”
“Love you, too,” he said and hung up the phone.
“Go shower,” Max said. Pulling and pushing, he got her into the shower. He went downstairs to let in the cleaning service.
She sighed.
Her mind flitted through John and Max’s encouraging words. What do you have to lose? Try it for one day. You’re just bored. You can always come home.
She sighed.
If I don’t leave the house, how will I ever get my vibrator?
Smiling at the thought, she turned on the shower.
FFF
Six hours later
January 5—1:00 P.M.
Denver, Colorado
“Alex!”
Alex looked over at her petite little sister Erin. Erin’s green eyes were wide with laughter. Alex blinked.
“What did I miss?”
Alex began singing songs in her head, a standard technique for surviving torture, during the two-hour scalp-scorching hairdressing episode. Transformed into Alyssa, Alex was now blonde, blue-eyed, and wearing an outfit that was fit for the matrons’ ball. That’s not to mention the “you-look-absolutely-fabulous” makeup mask. Alyssa Kreiger was a complete dud.
Erin laughed. She reached across the table to hold Alex’s hands. Their mother, Rebecca Hargreaves, was talking to a friend at another table.
“I’m glad you left the house,” Erin said. “I’ve looked forward to spending time with you since you returned to Denver.”
“Bedridden?” Alex asked.
“Yes, I was hoping to spend time in bed with you,” Erin laughed. “I just thought that we could be friends, now that we’re grown up and stuff.”
“That sounds nice,” Alex said.
“First thing? I’m going to take you shopping for some . . . er . . . decent clothing!”
“If I had known that so much shopping was in my future, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t have fought so hard to survive.”
“Alexandra!” Rebecca said, sitting down next to Erin. Her hazel eyes went wide with shock. “What are you saying?”
“I’m attempting a joke.”
“It’s not very funny,” Rebecca said.
When Rebecca turned to order lunch, Erin flared her nostrils and winked at Alex. Alex laughed.
“I have some news,” Erin said.
“Are you done with school?” Rebecca asked. “Erin, that’s wonderful! Will you look for a job at a pharmaceutical company?”
“Actually, mother, I quit school six months ago,” Erin said.
Alex blinked. That got her attention. Erin had wanted to research infectious diseases since a friend of the family died of hantavirus when she was ten years old. She was a year from finishing her Ph.D. Erin’s thesis research project was underway.
“What are you saying?” Rebecca asked.
“I’m engaged,” Erin said. The words seemed to drop onto the table.
Rebecca squealed and began peppering Erin with questions. Erin blushed, looked down, and shifted in her seat. While Alex watched, Erin seemed to blossom and withdraw at the same time. Something was not quite right. Erin looked up at Alex with pleading eyes.
“How exciting. Have you set a date?” Alex asked.
“Not yet,” Erin said. “I wanted to get married in twelve hours, but he wanted to wait.”
“Thirteen hours,” Alex laughed.
“Only Alex is crazy enough to marry someone she’d known for thirteen hours,” Rebecca said.
“And keep it a secret for ten years,” Erin said. “I thought I’d just put it right out there.”
“And you are marrying . . . ?” Alex asked.
“Christ, Alex! Do you pay attention at all?” Rebecca asked. “Erin is marrying that nice boy, Marcos Ruiz.”
“I was just wondering because . . .” Alex nodded in the direction of Matthew, who was walking toward them.
Erin’s head jerked around to see Matthew. She flushed bright red and looked down. Her hands moved instinctively through her red curly hair. Erin and Matthew had dated off and on since she was sixteen years old. They were currently in an “off” phase while Matthew was out of the country.
“When did he get back?” Erin asked between her teeth.
“Yesterday,” Alex said. “He called me when we were at the old ladies’ boutique.”
“The fashion consultant?” Rebecca asked.
“Hmm,” Alex said. “He’s in a martial-arts tournament tomorrow and wants to spar. I invited him to lunch. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Have I met Marcos?”
“No,” Erin said, with a shake of her head. “No, you’d have to leave the house for that.”
“Don’t get up,” Matthew said to Alex in Irish Gaelic.
“Hello, ladies. May I join you for lunch?” he asked in English.
“Matthew, of course, please join us,” Rebecca said.
He leaned to kiss Rebecca’s cheek while he stroked Erin’s neck with his fingers. Erin turned to look up at him. Erin’s face flushed with longing—and something else, something foreign to her vibrant sister. Her eyes flashed with fear. Matthew’s eyes asked the question, but Erin shook her head and looked away. He gave Erin a peck on the cheek and sat next to Alex. Under the table, he reached for Alex’s hand.
“What a surprise,” Rebecca said. “Erin was just telling us that she’s engaged.”
“But it’s not done,” he said to Alex in Gaelic under his breath. Matthew nodded slightly. He smiled at Erin, continuing in English, “Congratulations, Erin.”
Erin squinted at Matthew and then looked away.
“It’s not done,” Alex replied in Gaelic.
“So, this is Alyssa?” Matthew asked. He turned in his chair to get a better look at Alex.
“She’s kind of a dud,” Alex said.
Matthew laughed. Turning to Rebecca, he said, “God, the eyes creep me out. What do you think?”
“She’s beautiful,” Rebecca said. “But you’re right. The blue eyes are a little disconcerting.”
“And the hair?” Erin asked.
Matthew touched Alex’s blonde locks and laughed.
“What a difference a few years make,” he said. “Did you even wash your hair in training?”
Alex laughed. She and Matthew had met on a martial-arts sparring mat during their Special Forces training. They became sparring partners and, prior to Alex’s injuries, won every tournament they entered. Alex rotated in her chair to look at him. He was now competing, and winning, without her. Like so many things, life had moved on while she remained stuck in one place.
When the waiter cleared the plates, Alex asked Rebecca to help her to the bathroom, giving Matthew and Erin a chance to talk. Even with Alex’s slow movements across the restaurant, Matthew and Erin were arguing when they returned. Rebecca stopped for a loud conversation with an acquaintance to announce their arrival. Rebecca squeezed Alex’s hand before helping her sit down. She went around the table to hug Erin again before flagging the waiter down for desserts to celebrate the engagement.
Taking over the conversation, Rebecca chatted about their brother Colin and his wife Julie. Two years younger than Max and Alex, Colin was Rebecca’s favorite child. His siblings called him the “Golden Child” as a reference to his white-blonde hair and his special spot in Rebecca’s heart. Also a Green Beret, Colin had left the Army around the time of Alex’s injury. He now had his own elementary school classroom.<
br />
Rebecca’s chatter did nothing to decrease the tension at the table. Looking at Matthew’s blank face, Alex knew that he was very upset. But her sister? She hadn’t spent any time with her since she was seventeen years old. She had no idea what was going on between Matthew and Erin. She slipped her hand into Matthew’s hand to encourage him.
The waiter was placing their desserts in front of them when a short, dark-haired man stormed toward them. Catching the movement out of the corner of her eye, Alex’s hand went to the handgun she wore in a holster at her sacrum. Reading Alex’s gesture, Matthew shifted. He was ready for action.
Noticing the change in Matthew and Alex, Erin turned to see what they were looking at. Her back stiffened in surprise. Erin jumped from her chair and almost ran down the aisle. Erin held the man in place with her hand.
Alex flinched when the man pushed Erin aside to move toward the table. Erin caught his hand, and he turned to look at her. Alex couldn’t see what he said. She only noticed the look of desperation on Erin’s face.
Glancing at Alex and Matthew, Rebecca turned to see why they were staring.
“Erin?”
Erin’s face shifted to a smile. The man turned to Rebecca. His plastic smile and cruel eyes were not lost on her, but she smiled.
“The groom is here,” Rebecca said. “Marcos, how nice to see you!”
Holding Erin’s hand, Marcos came toward the table.
“This is my friend, Alyssa,” Erin said, “and her boyfriend Matthew. This is my boyfriend . . .”
“Fiancé,” Marcos interrupted.
“Right,” Erin looked down. “Fiancé Marcos.”
Towering over Marcos, Matthew leaned over a little in order to shake Marcos’ hand.
“Nice to meet you. Please join us.” Matthew retrieved a chair from another table and placed it at the end of the table. “Can you move over, darling?” he asked Alex.
She shook her head.
“I’ll help,” he said. Helping Alex stand, he moved her chair over and helped her sit again. “Alyssa is recovering from an injury.”
“You were in a roadside bombing in Iraq. Erin told me about you. Nice to meet you. While I do not support the war, I believe it’s important to support our troops. Of course, they need to be responsible for their own choices. Their choice to be in the military—their choice to be injured. It’s really that simple. We both feel strongly about this.”
Alex blinked at the underhanded insult. Prick.
“Nice to meet you,” Alex said.
Glancing at Erin, Alex was surprised to see that Erin’s eyes glazed over. Feeling Alex’s gaze, Erin’s blank eyes shifted to Alex.
“How long have you been together?” Marcos asked.
Matthew tipped his head to the side to think, and he looked at Alex. They laughed.
“A long time,” Alex said.
“About ten years,” Rebecca added. “Didn’t you meet at training? Alyssa was dating Colin, but one look at Matthew and . . .” Rebecca shrugged. “I had hoped to have Alyssa as a daughter-in-law.”
Alex’s eyes flicked to her mother. Rebecca was no fool. Her mother played along to ensure that her daughters were not involved in a public drama.
“Why were you holding Erin’s hand?” Marcos asked. “Just a minute ago. I could have sworn that you were holding hands.”
“Were you hitting on Erin?” Alex asked. She mock-hit Matthew. “A girl can’t even go to the bathroom.”
“I was asking Erin if she would keep a secret for me.”
“A secret?” Alex asked.
“Alyssa,” Erin said. Relief spread from her eyes through her body. “I promised not to tell.”
“What’s the secret?” Marcos asked.
“If you must know, I was asking Erin what kind of ring Alyssa might like. We bought that little band a while ago. I was thinking of making it legal.”
Alex squealed and reached for Erin’s hands.
“We’ll both be brides!”
“Thanks for spoiling the surprise.”
“I still don’t get why you were holding Erin’s hand,” Marcos pressed.
“Erin was showing me on her hand a ring that Alyssa had admired. I don’t think I held her hand as much as pointed to it while we discussed the ring. But from across the room, I can understand why you were confused.”
“Oh, Matthew,” Alex said. She leaned against his shoulder, and he kissed her head. He put his arm around her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”
Despite the tense situation, Matthew gave a genuine laugh at her suggestive tone.
“I don’t want to miss my chance. Plus,” Alex arched an eyebrow, “I have a surprise of my own.”
Matthew opened his mouth at the suggestion and moved to get up.
“Please stay for dessert,” Erin said.
“Yes, stay for dessert at least,” Rebecca said. She returned to her chatter about Colin’s new classroom.
With Matthew’s arm around Alex, they shared a dessert so that Marcos could have one of his own. Alex had no idea what this guy’s problem was or why Erin had introduced her as Alyssa, but she did not like this Marcos. As soon as she could, Alex was going to do a little spy work on him.
“I thought you were married to the big curly-haired guy,” Marcos said to Alex as they said good-bye. “Erin has an old photo of you, her brother, and that other guy. She’s standing next to you, and you’re at Disneyland. She said he was your husband. Of course, your hair was dark.”
“Are you sure it was me?” Alex asked. “Erin is friends with a girl named Alex. They are as close as sisters. People often get us confused because we’re both tall and thin. But Alex has brown hair and brown eyes. She’s married to a doctor in town. Mattie, honey, do you remember his name?”
Matthew made a face and shook his head.
“Brain on testosterone,” Alex said. She shook Marcos’ hand. “Very nice to meet you.”
Leaning on the forearm crutch, Alex made slow progress through the restaurant and into her Jeep CJ-7, which Matthew had driven to the restaurant. He helped her into the passenger seat, and he jumped into the driver’s seat. They were two blocks away before they started laughing.
“What the fuck was that?” Alex asked.
“He reminds me of my Dad,” Matthew said.
“And that’s not a good thing.”
“No, it’s not,” Matthew said.
“What happened?”
“She flipped out. In a very low voice, she told me exactly how much I suck. I took her hand to try to comfort her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Erin that upset.”
“It’s not like that’s new information.”
“That I suck?” Matthew laughed. “No, it’s not news. What do you know about this guy?”
“I’ve been so caught up in myself that I . . . No, I’ve never met him.”
Matthew nodded. They drove out of the Cherry Creek shopping area and toward the highway. Flicking on the radio, Matthew picked a classic rock station. When “Sweet Home Alabama” came on, they sang along with Lynard Skynard. They were almost to the highway when Alex spoke.
“Will you take me to see Jesse?”
Matthew pulled the Jeep over to look at Alex. Their eyes held for a moment.
“Honey, Jesse’s dead.”
“I haven’t been to the memorial. You went to the ceremony, but I was in the hospital. I haven’t been able to go because it wasn’t safe. I’m all Alyssa-ed up today. Please, Mattie. Please take me to see Jesse.”
“Alex, it’s your first day out of the house. Do you . . .”
She nodded.
“All right. But then we train.”
“Then we train.”
F
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