“Gabby’s too smart for that,” Judy said calmly. But Marilyn knew plenty of girls who had been smart, lost control, and wound up pregnant. Marilyn didn’t want that happening to their kids, and hoped they would avert a disaster before it happened. It was a lot to expect at thirteen.
Connie had pointed out to both Judy and Marilyn that Kevin had become sexually active at thirteen, although her younger son, Sean, was far from it. All kids were different and moved at different speeds through adolescence.
For the moment, Connie’s worries with Kevin had abated. He was a junior at UC Santa Cruz by then and doing well. He looked like a hippie, with tattoos, piercings, and long hair, but his grades had been decent for two semesters. It gave her some respite, but she worried about him anyway. He called from Santa Cruz from time to time, but not often. He loved being on his own and independent, and Connie concentrated her efforts on Sean, knowing that he needed attention and guidance, and at twenty Kevin would have to be responsible for himself at school.
The star student in the group, among the five friends, was always Andy. It was expected of him, and both his parents never questioned for a moment that Andy would get straight A’s. He never let them down, and said he wanted to be a doctor, like his parents. A medical doctor like his mother, not a psychiatrist like his father. Andy wanted to heal people’s bodies, not their minds, but he wanted to go to Harvard, like his father. Just like the A’s he got in school, that was expected, and he got the science prize every year. Andy had real talent in science, and sometimes Izzie teased him and called him “doctor.” He actually liked it. He was good in sports now, and had a natural athlete’s grace. He was on the tennis team at school, and entered tournaments on weekends. His four friends always went to see him play, just as they went to Sean and Billy’s baseball games, and the boys showed up to root for Gabby and Izzie when they played girls’ basketball and soccer.
Larry was always at the baseball games, and shouted at Billy during the entire game, telling him what he should be doing. He had a fit after the game, whenever they lost, and Sean tried to intercede for Billy with his father several times, and got Larry angry at him too.
“Mr. Norton, we played a good game today,” Sean stood up to him bravely. “Billy hit two home runs, which is more than anyone else did on either team.” After the game was over, the coach had even congratulated him for how well he played.
“He screwed up when the bases were loaded, or we’d have won. Or didn’t you notice?” he said nastily to Sean, who refused to be intimidated by Billy’s father. No one liked Larry, and neither did Sean, who hated to see what he did to Billy. And Mr. Norton didn’t even bother to talk to Brian, who came to all his brother’s games too. Larry still acted like Brian didn’t exist. As far as Larry was concerned, since he wasn’t an athlete, he didn’t. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, O’Hara,” he said viciously to Sean, “you can’t hit the ball for shit. They ought to kick you off the team, and have you play volleyball with the girls.”
“That’s enough, Dad,” Billy said quietly, defending his friend. He could see that his father had been drinking, and Billy was mortified by the way he was behaving. He was used to his father’s verbal abuse at home, but he didn’t want his friends to know.
“You’re a pathetic bunch of sissies,” Larry said, stormed off, got in his car, and drove away, as Billy looked at Sean and shrugged. He had tears in his eyes as Sean put an arm around his shoulders, and they walked into the locker room together without a word. Brian was waiting for them when they came back dressed in jeans and out of their uniforms. Brian had watched the entire scene and felt sorry for both of them. He loved to watch them play. None of the three boys commented on Larry’s behavior. They were used to it, and everyone had seen him drive away in a rage. As they left the field, Billy caught up with Gabby, who was waiting for him too. Billy put an arm around her waist and hugged her when she complimented him on the two home runs.
“Yeah, whatever,” he said, brushing it off, trying to forget his father, and smiling down at her. Billy was six feet tall at thirteen, and looked more like sixteen than the age he was, and Gabby looked older too, with a grown-up haircut and the little bit of makeup her mother let her wear. They were a cute couple and a familiar sight now. And Gabby always gave him support about his difficulties at home. They met up with the others then for hamburgers and ice cream after the game, and Billy took Brian along, which made his day. The Big Five were always great to him.
The five best friends spent spring vacation fooling around together with nothing much to do. They went to baseball games, and swimming at a friend’s pool in the Napa Valley, when they were invited up for the day. Connie and Mike O’Hara organized a backyard barbecue for them, and the day after, they got a call from UC Santa Cruz, and the police. Kevin had gotten arrested for possession with intent to sell and use of marijuana at school. He was accused of selling it to fellow students, even though they had no proof. He was in jail, pending arraignment. The police sergeant Mike spoke to said he could be facing as much as four years in prison, and he was being expelled from school. Kevin was twenty, and something like this was exactly what his parents had feared for years, and Mike had predicted. Kevin lived by his own rules, and no one else’s. Not his parents’ rules, or the school’s, or even the state’s.
He called them from jail that afternoon, and Mike had already called his lawyer. They were going down to Santa Cruz the next day for the arraignment. Kevin wanted them to bail him out of jail that night, but Mike told Connie it would do him good to spend the night in jail and think about what he was doing. They were terrified for him, and so was Sean. His brother’s free and easy ways didn’t coincide with Sean’s passion for law and order. He still dreamed of joining the police force one day, and lately had said he wanted to work for the FBI or the CIA after college. His ideas were as far as you could get from Kevin’s.
The next day Sean looked glum when he went to stay at Billy’s house, while his parents went to get Kevin out of jail. And the lawyer made a strong case for dismissing the charges and sending Kevin to rehab. The judge had been open to it, and set a hearing for two weeks later, which gave them very little time to find a rehab program for him, and present the option to the judge. And much to his parents’ despair, his days at UC Santa Cruz were over for good. They were devastated by the situation he was in.
Kevin looked cocky when he got home, and didn’t seem shaken by his night in jail, the charges, or his expulsion from school. They had brought his things home, and Sean saw that he was keeping a backpack close to him. Sean was sure there were drugs in it, and he thought Kevin looked stoned late that afternoon, but their parents didn’t notice. Sean was furious at him. Kevin had no respect for their parents, their home, or even himself. He had just gotten out of jail and had used drugs again. Sean was sure.
“You’re going to kill Mom and Dad,” Sean said miserably when he slipped into his brother’s room an hour later. Kevin was lying on his bed, listening to music with the TV on. Sean didn’t know what he’d taken, but whatever it was, he seemed happy.
“Don’t give me any of your pious bullshit lectures,” Kevin said, looking at his little brother standing in the middle of the room. There were worlds between the two brothers. “You’re not a cop yet, even if you think like one.”
“Dad’s right,” Sean said quietly. He had lost all respect for his brother, and hated what he was doing to their parents. Their mother had been crying for two days, and their father had cried when he told her what had happened. They felt defeated and didn’t know what to do to stop him. “You’re going to wind up in prison.” He had seen the scenario a thousand times on the TV shows he watched.
“No, little wimp, I’ll probably wind up on probation. This isn’t the big deal they make it out to be. It’s just marijuana, for chrissake, not crystal meth or crack. Just a little weed.” But not so little—he had had a considerable amount on him and in his car when he ran a red light and they suspected him
of being under the influence.
“It’s illegal,” Sean said, still standing there and watching him. Kevin looked perfectly relaxed, stretched out on his bed. He had been so stoned when they arrested him that he hardly remembered the night in jail, and had slept like a baby. “Maybe next time it will be crack, or crystal meth, or mushrooms or LSD, or some of the other crap you do with your friends.”
“What do you know about what I do with my friends?” Kevin asked angrily. His brother was turning into a narc.
“I hear things.”
“You’re just a baby, Sean. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I do. And so do you. I swear, I’ll kick your ass when I’m older if you do this to them again,” Sean said. He was trembling with rage, and his older brother just laughed at him and pointed to the door of his room.
“I’m shaking in my shoes, little guy. Now get your ass out of my room before I kick yours.” He was like someone who had come from another world, another family. He was a stranger in their midst and always had been. Kevin would always find a way to do what he wanted. He always had, no matter what the consequences to him and everyone else.
Sean left his room quietly, and for the next two days his parents met with counselors and lawyers. They had found a drug rehab in Arizona that would take him, and the lawyer was going to make a presentation to the judge asking if Kevin could plead to a lesser charge and be sent to rehab as probation with no jail time. It wasn’t a sure thing, and the day before they went to court, his father made him cut his hair and shave his beard. Kevin objected, but he had no choice in the matter. His father handed him a suit and told him to wear it. Mike’s eyes were smoldering when he did.
“I don’t want you doing this to your mother ever again,” he said through clenched teeth, barely able to control his temper, and Kevin nodded. Mike handed him a shirt and tie to go with it, and a pair of his own dress shoes since they wore the same size and he didn’t want to go downtown with him to buy new ones. For two weeks, Kevin had hung around the house, and they wouldn’t let him go anywhere. He didn’t like the plan they had in mind, but it sounded better even to him than four years in jail, if they threw the book at him.
The ride to Santa Cruz was long and silent. It took nearly three hours to get there in traffic from San Francisco, and they had agreed to meet their lawyer outside the courtroom. They had an official letter from the rehab in Arizona, accepting him, and it was becoming more real to him as they walked into the courthouse. Kevin looked scared, though not as much as his parents. They had dropped off Sean to stay with Billy, and Marilyn was going to take both boys to baseball practice that afternoon.
The judge listened to what the O’Haras’ attorney was suggesting, and made no comment as he looked over the letter he handed him, with the description of the rehab and what it offered.
“You’re a very lucky young man,” he said to Kevin after he read the information about the rehab. “A lot of parents would turn their back on you and let you go to jail. And it might do you a world of good, if they did,” he said sternly. “What I’m about to do, I’m going to do for them, more than I am for you. And you’d better make good use of it, or you will wind up in jail. I’m sentencing you to six months at this rehabilitation facility in Arizona, which sounds like a country club to me. You’d better stay there for the entire six months. If you leave one day early, I’m sending you to jail. And I’m giving you two years’ probation. If you break the law at any time during those two years, you’re going to jail. Is that understood?” Kevin nodded, barely able to conceal his anger. Six months in rehab sounded like a nightmare to him, and all thanks to his parents, for whom he felt no gratitude at that exact moment. He was screwed. The judge said he had twenty-four hours to turn himself in to the facility in Arizona, and he wanted proof that he’d been admitted. He asked Kevin if he had anything to say for himself, and he didn’t. Mike spoke up in a hoarse voice instead and thanked the judge for his compassion.
“Good luck with your boy,” he said gently, as tears swam in Mike’s eyes, and ran down Connie’s cheeks. It had been an agonizing and terrifying two weeks.
The drive back to San Francisco was as silent as the trip down. Mike had his secretary make reservations on a flight to Arizona at seven A.M. the next day. He was flying Kevin there himself, to be sure he got there and didn’t run away.
Kevin went straight to his room when he got home, and openly smoked a joint in his bedroom. They could smell it but didn’t go in. The nightmare was almost over, and he’d be in rehab the next day, as long as he didn’t walk out while facing the rigors of the program, or forget that if he did, he would wind up in jail.
Once Kevin went upstairs, and she and Mike changed out of their court clothes, Connie went to pick up Sean at Billy’s. They had just come home from baseball practice. When she drove up, Sean looked at his mother with worried eyes. His brother acted like a jerk sometimes, but he loved him anyway. He was his brother after all, and Sean didn’t want him to go to jail.
“Did he go to jail?” Sean asked in a voice filled with panic, and his mother shook her head. She looked exhausted and beaten.
“No, they’re sending him to rehab in Arizona for six months, and he got two years’ probation, so he’d better behave. If he leaves the rehab or screws up again, he’ll go to jail.” It was good news, but didn’t feel like it to her yet. She was only too aware of the risks, and she had no idea to what degree Kevin would cooperate or for how long. They would be going down for family weekends, to engage in therapy sessions with him, and Sean might even have to go too. Kevin was putting them all through the wringer. It was the worst thing he’d done so far, and it wasn’t over yet.
“He’ll be okay, Mom,” Sean said to reassure her, but he didn’t fully believe it himself.
While Connie was talking to Sean and Billy, Marilyn came outside to ask what had happened, and Connie told her with a tone of immense relief. He had gotten rehab, not jail. Marilyn could see how strained and exhausted Connie was, and put her arms around her friend and gave her a hug. Connie looked as rocky as she felt. Billy stood there silently watching them, he didn’t know what to say. He gave Sean a friendly slap on the back and a shove before he left, which was his way of saying how sorry he was. Sean looked up at him with a grin. And Izzie called Sean at home that night, to ask him what had happened.
“So is he going to jail?”
“No. Not this time anyway. But if he screws up again, he probably will. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he’s always been a pain in the ass,” Sean said, sounding tired himself. He had worried about his brother all day, and about his parents, who were so visibly devastated by what Kevin had done and by what could happen to him.
“Some people are just different, I guess,” Izzie said quietly. “Even in the same family. How’s your mom?” They had all been worried about her. Kevin’s arrest had been such a shock.
“She’s a mess. She’s not saying anything, but she looks like she was hit by a bus. So does my dad. He’s taking Kev to Phoenix tomorrow.”
“Is Kevin scared?” Izzie asked, impressed by what was happening. He was the first person they knew who was going to rehab.
“No, I think he’s pissed. He’s not saying much, and he came down to dinner tonight stoned off his ass. My parents didn’t see it, but I could tell. Dad told him he had to come down for Mom. She cried all through dinner.” It sounded awful to Izzie, and she could hear the strain of it in Sean’s voice, who hated to see his parents so upset.
Mike and Kevin left the next morning before Sean got up. Connie got up to say goodbye to her son and tried to hug him, but he shook her off and turned away, and that was more than Mike could take, and he grabbed his arm, hard.
“Say a decent goodbye to your mother,” he said through clenched teeth, and Kevin hugged her as she cried. They left then, while it was still dark, and she lay in bed and sobbed. Mike came back alone late that night, and he burst into tears when he sat down o
n their bed, and Connie took him in her arms and held him to comfort him.
“How was he when you left him?” Connie asked about Kevin.
“He looked like he hated me. He just turned his back on me and walked away.” Kevin had already forgotten that a judge had put him there, not his parents.
The O’Hara house seemed instantly too quiet without Kevin, although he’d already been away at college. But his recent presence had seemed larger than life, with his hostility, his clandestine drinking and dope smoking, and the stress he caused everyone around him. At first the peace without him seemed unnatural and unfamiliar. Sean missed the idea of a big brother, but the reality of Kevin was never what he hoped.
Sean alternated studying and distracting himself by watching TV. His favorite shows were still the crime shows, and Izzie came over to study with him a few times. She baked him his favorite cookies, and cupcakes for him and his parents. It was hard to know what to do to help: she could see the sadness in their eyes, even Sean’s.
Sean was quiet for the next few weeks, and was starting to feel better when they had midterms to get through. Izzie was halfway through studying for them when her father knocked on her bedroom door and asked her to come into the living room one night. She followed him out of her room with a look of surprise, and was instantly scared when she saw her mother waiting on the couch, looking tense.
“Am I in trouble?” Izzie asked, looking from one to the other. She couldn’t think of anything bad she’d done, but you never knew. Anything was possible. Maybe school had called to say she’d flunked all her tests. If they had, it would have been a first.
“Your mother and I have something to tell you,” Jeff said quietly, after he sat down. Izzie was sitting in a chair, and everything about the scene was strange. Her mother wouldn’t look at her, and the room was so quiet that Izzie could hear the antique wall clock ticking in the hall. She couldn’t remember ever hearing it from the living room before, but no one was talking. “We’re getting a divorce,” Jeff said with a look of defeat.
Friends Forever Page 4