Unsinkable Mister Brown (Cruise Confidential 3)

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Unsinkable Mister Brown (Cruise Confidential 3) Page 40

by Brian David Bruns


  “Why is that so interesting?”

  “Perception, my dear! Perception is everything!”

  Lisa shook her head, not liking his words one bit. She challenged, “So you’re obsessed with the moon, so what? What does that have to do with eating enough food to feed a starving nation? Let me guess: shrimp’s from the sea, and the sea has tides, which are affected by the moon and stuff.”

  His eyes glinted. “Yes! Now you begin to understand! She is perceived as barely a slice, yet she is full and round and beautiful. Are all the people who see a crescent moon merely wrong most of the time? Or is there something more going on? Recognizing—nay, acting upon—the disparity between reality and perception unlocks the doors to so many secrets. Have you noticed how I look thinner?”

  Her face clouded. Had she ever! He was eating over two thousand shrimp a day, yet was skinny as a rail! He looked almost as thin as he did when he first started coming three weeks ago. Meanwhile Lisa was getting huge and ate nothing.

  “It’s a matter of perception and reality,” Mr. Arno explained. “Believe me, the secrets of the moon can be applied to people, if they are clever enough. We are not as directly affected—as the tides are—but we are not immune to her influence. Oh, no. Ask any ER physician. There are always more accidents during a full moon.”

  Lisa’s frown deepened into confusion and annoyance. Noting her expression, Mr. Arno returned to his usual blandness.

  “Of course you don’t believe a word I am saying.”

  She smiled grimly at him. “I think you’re nuts.”

  He sniffed disdainfully, then returned his gaze to his plate of shrimp. “Am I?”

  Bloated hands waved over the mound as if seeking heat from a fire.

  “Perception led me to transference. In the beginning I merely looked thinner than I was, like glorious Luna herself. But after exploring her secrets, my manipulation of perception led to something marvelous—to transference! It all begins with perception. It is everything.”

  “No!” Lisa suddenly cried. “Perception is nothing! I’m not who I look like. I’m not!”

  Mr. Arno seemed unfazed by her outburst. He coolly reviewed her for a moment, then his white mustache quivered.

  “Perhaps not right now,” he said, a knowing twinkle in his eye. “But you will be. You will be.”

  Books by Brian David Bruns

  Fiction:

  The Gothic Shift

  In the House of Leviathan

  The Widow of Half Hill

  Nonfiction:

  1. Cruise Confidential

  2. Ship for Brains

  3. Unsinkable Mister Brown

  4. High Seas Drifter

  Cruise a la Carte

  Comstock Phantoms:

  True Ghost Stories of Virginia City, NV

  Rumble Yell:

  Discovering America's Biggest Bike Ride*

  *USA REBA Grand Prize Winner

  Praise for The Gothic Shift

  “A delightful balance of whimsy and the grotesque, with a glimmer of moonstruck romance. Bruns creates well-imagined, realistic settings for his lively characters.”

  - Kirkus Reviews

  "I was squirming in my seat to find out what would happen in the end."

  -Reader's Favorite Reviews

  “A juicy collection of stories, with some great character development and a lot of original ideas. Recommended!”

  -Horror After Dark

  "The stories in this volume are little nibbles at the edges of you mind that show the Gothic style can resonate with even hardcore horror lovers. Recommended.”

  -Hellnotes

  “I found this book to be an extreme delight. Bruns builds each piece with a subtle tension rather than in your face horror. But do not misunderstand that statement: the horror is there and very real."

  -Horror Novel Reviews

  Unsinkable Mister Brown

  Gold- USA Best Book Awards

  Silver- Paris Book Festival

  Bronze- London Book Festival

  Bronze- Hollywood Book festival

  Finalist- Book of the Year, Humor- ForeWord Awards

  Finalist- Book of the Year, Travel- ForeWord Awards

  Ship for Brains

  Bronze- London Book Festival

  Bronze- New York Book Festival

  Bronze- San Francisco Book Festival

  Bronze- New England Book Festival

  Finalist- Book of the Year, Humor- ForeWord Awards

  Cruise Confidential

  Gold- Book of the Year, Benjamin Franklin Awards

  Gold- Book of the Year, Humor- ForeWord Awards

  Bronze- New England Book Festival

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2012 by Brian David Bruns

  All rights reserved

  Cover design by Brian David Bruns

  Produced in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form—except quoting brief passages in a review—without permission in writing from author or publisher.

  Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

  Bruns, Brian David

  2nd ed.

  Produced by World Waters

  ISBN: 978-0974521763

  LCCN (PCN): 2012935175

  1. Travel/Essay 2. Cruise Ships 3. Humor

  Notes

  1. The outrageous experiences of working the restaurants on Carnival Cruise Lines is narrated in its entirety in Cruise Confidential. I was the first American to survive a full contract below decks without quitting in the company’s 30-year history.

  2. My tumultuous auctioneer training is narrated in its entirety in Ship for Brains.

  3. Laureen Niamesny’s album, Free Again, is available on Amazon, Google Play, Apple Music, and others.

 

 

 


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