Grabbing my shirt, he growled in my face, but minutes later, he was being yanked off me by Burt. The burly man I hired six months ago as security was proving worth the money I paid him as he held the angry father back.
“I think it’s best if you take your daughter home,” I taunted, straightening my shirt. “She isn’t safe here.”
I blew Delilah a kiss before making my way back to the Big Top, not staying to watch Burt escort them away from the show. I needed a drink. And someone to fuck. That girl messed with my head tonight, and I didn’t know why she got to me like that. Virgin sweethearts were not my typical thing, there was too much effort that goes into them. I winked at one of the acrobats, and when she gave me a sly smile in return, I knew I wouldn’t be returning to my trailer alone.
Two days later, Charlotte was taken, and everything changed. I didn’t think about Delilah again until she turned up, five years later.
Ten
Delilah
Ezra is staring at me, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but whatever it is, it can’t be good. My cheeks go pink as he continues to watch me, and I feel like my skin is burning up. Today, I finally feel more like myself than I ever have. I like the new hair, the piercing, the new clothes I picked up today. I don’t need to think about what everyone is going to say, or how I will be punished. I just focused on what I wanted.
“That isn’t a friendly face…” Alina hisses next to me as Ezra begins striding toward us. She takes my shopping bags from me, leaving me with just my backpack, and begins walking in the opposite direction, trying to avoid the Ringmaster.
“Come here.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me toward a trailer next to his office. It’s small, but clean, and I’m aware of just how small as he’s practically pressed up against me as we stand in the living space.
“What’s this?” I frown as he pulls the shutters down.
Crossing his arms, he gives me a condescending look. “This trailer is yours. You’ll need to work off the costs if you plan on staying here.”
Offering him a small smile, I say, “Does this mean you’re going to stop pushing me to leave?”
Something flashes in his eyes as he avoids my question. “It means you owe me.”
“And I’ll make sure to pay you back.” I hadn’t even discussed wages with him yet, or signed a contract. I don’t know how long it would take, but I would pay him back every cent. He was offering me a safe haven, a place to stay while I put myself together again.
Ezra watches me as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Five years ago, you said you’d do anything to stay here. Do you still mean that?”
Five years ago, he’d turned me down. Called me a kid. Sent me home. I had suffered because of that, I had been beaten and broken. But it was only the thought of the Carnaval that had gotten me through. I was determined to prove to Master Black that I deserved to be here, that I could join his show. “Yes.”
“Anything?” He takes a drag before exhaling slowly, swirls of smoke filling the space between us.
“Yes.” I had meant it then, and I meant it now.
He looks contemplative for a moment, but then it becomes darker, and I don’t know why, but it sends a shiver down my spine. “If you make a single mark on that body, the one I now own, you will no longer be welcome here.”
His words take a moment to sink in. He was telling me to stop. He wanted to put an end to my control. My hands tremble as he flicks the butt of his cigarette out of the open window before turning back to watch me.
“You can’t…I need this,” I breathe, it feels like the air is being sucked out of my lungs as my chest tightens. He doesn’t understand, without this...without the pain, how would I cope? How would I stay sane? I needed it to ground me, to remind me that I was alive.
He grabs my backpack and opens up the front pocket, pulling out my knife. “I know what you need, but you’re an idiot if you think you’re the only one who can make you feel like that.”
Ezra steps forward, pushing me against the wall of the trailer as he lifts the blade and presses it against my throat. He moves his knee between my legs, and it’s like I’m fifteen again, pressed against the palm reader’s tent. I shift, but that only makes him push against me harder, pinning me in place.
“Why?” I swallow, and I can feel the cold bite of metal as I do.
He moves his horn against my cheek, the roughness scraping my cheek as he moves up my face, cutting into my skin, his tongue following. “Because I own you. Every scarred, imperfect inch of you. And I intend to make sure you know it.”
Grabbing onto his braces, I pull his chest flush against mine as he bites my earlobe. “I’m not afraid of you, Master Black.”
It’s the truth, I’m not afraid of him. Not like this. I fear his rejection and being sent away, but when The Devil looks at me like this, I know I would offer him up his pound of flesh just to stay here a little longer.
He presses the blade in deeper, breaking the skin. “This is the last time I’ll repeat myself: you should be.”
I can’t escape the hiss that leaves my lips as I feel the wetness forming on my neck as he moves carefully, slicing a small line along the curve of my neck.
“This is your last chance to leave.” His teeth capture my earlobe again. “If you stay, I own everything.”
Removing the blade from my neck, he drags it lightly down my body, stopping at the hem of my blouse. His other hand is in my hair, as he grabs a fistful and yanks my head back. His mouth moves over mine, our lips almost touching as he growls, “Your pain, your pleasure, your fear—it’s all mine.”
I shudder, and it’s not because I’m afraid, it’s because I’m excited. While I don’t want to give up control, I want this, whatever the fuck this was, more.
“Don’t move,” he warns as he slices open my blouse, exposing my white lace bra. “Of course it’s white. Tell me, are you still as innocent as you were back then?”
If he was asking if I was still a virgin, then the answer was yes. Trevor and I were waiting until we were married, at least, that’s what I’d told him—knowing that I’d never marry him. Trailing the tip of the knife down my stomach, Ezra moves under my skirt, where he presses the blade flat against my panties, which are soaked thanks to that horn and his teeth.
“Fuck,” he hisses, before tossing the knife aside.
I make a noise of protest as it lands with a clatter on the floor.
“You won’t need it, not today,” he promises as he rips the remains of my blouse off, mouth clashing against mine as we finally kiss. His tongue forces its way into my mouth, making it hard for me to breathe as he tries to dominate all of my senses. His hands are on my breasts, cupping and squeezing before he pushes the lace down and pinches my nipple hard between his fingers. The pain sends a jolt through my body, and I can’t help the noises that creep up my throat as he moves down and captures my other nipple with his teeth, scraping over the sensitive skin as the ridges of his horn scratch against my flesh as he moves. His free hand moves up my thigh, nails dragging before he shoves my underwear aside and pushes two fingers inside me.
“Christ,” I say, my voice raspy as his thumb begins to circle my clit.
“Not quite, try the other one.” He chuckles, flicking his tongue over my nipple.
My orgasm begins to build, my body tightening and moving against him willingly as he bites, pinches, and scratches me. It’s like a system overload as the pain and pleasure is mixed into one giant sensation that I can’t describe. Every nerve is alive, both screaming at his touch and calmed by it as he consumes me. He moves back up to my mouth, tugging on my lip ring with his teeth as I come undone, hips moving against his hand wildly, sweat trickling down between my breasts, blood drying on my neck.
Staring at him, I try to control my jagged breathing as he rips my panties down my legs. I’m fully aware that he’s still dressed in his trousers, shirt, and braces while I’m left in my skirt with my bra pushed down under my tits.
/> “We aren’t done here yet,” he grunts, pulling me into the kitchenette area and bending me over the counter, forcing me onto my tiptoes. His hand grabs the back of my neck, pinning me in place while I hear him pull down his zipper. The smooth worktop is cool and soothing against my burning skin, while the handles from the cupboard dig into my thighs, chafing.
Ezra slides two fingers inside me, before slowly pulling them back out and smearing my juices. I feel a pressure as his cock presses against me, stretching me as he pushes himself inside. Ezra meant it when he said he owned me, and as he thrusts, it's unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
“More,” I beg as he pounds into me, aggressively fucking every sane thought I had away. I can feel him smirking even though I can’t see his face. He flexes his hips, and I whimper at the sensation. “More...Master...I need more.”
The hand around my neck yanks me back by my hair, bringing me up against his chest and forcing the metal handles to cut deeper into my thighs. His arm slides around my body, and his fingers quickly find my clit, flicking it before massaging the swollen nub.
“Say it again,” he growls into my shoulder before biting down. My second orgasm is like a wave, crashing into my body, winding me, making me forget my own name as I feel my cunt tightening around him. Ezra Black is all I feel.
“Master Black,” I plead as he flexes his hips again, the motion making my thighs quiver. “Fuck, Master...Master...”
My words seem to send him over the edge, as he groans against my skin, pulling me into him as though he was trying to absorb me. I feel a throbbing sensation as he comes, and a moment later, when he slides out, a warmth trickling down my thighs.
A few minutes later, Ezra presses a damp cloth against me and begins to help me clean up. I stare at him for a moment, perplexed, at the tender way he’s handling me, and he raises a brow questioningly.
“I’m not used to you being gentle,” I explain with a half-smile, as I put my bra right.
“Don’t get used to it.” He unbuttons his shirt and hands it to me to put on. I take it, looking over to where my blouse is in tatters. Swiping my panties up from the floor, he pockets them. “I’ll be here tonight after the show.”
I look at the red marks and scratches over my body, feeling strangely satisfied at the raw mess. “I thought you were a one and done kinda guy.”
He shrugs, opening the blinds back up, and lights another cigarette as he watches over the camp through the glass. “You have a debt, and sucking my dick might just get it paid off quicker.”
I slip my knife back into my bag, aware that he’s watching me out of the corner of his eye. “Is that what everyone else did for their trailers?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he scoffs, blowing smoke out the window as Darryn walks past, looking worried.
“No.” I don’t want to know, because there’s a bliss in ignorance, and I feel like I already know too much about life and the way it works. I’d rather be kept in the dark if I was just going to be another notch on his bedpost because that was the kind of pain I couldn’t handle.
“Jealous?” he asks, that damn eyebrow arched again as I flip him off, and he chuckles.
Eleven
Ezra
Darryn spots me in the window and waves me over, which immediately has me on edge. He was here to take care of all of my freaks, and normally did a good job. He thinks no one knows about his soft spot for the little fairy, but the only one who didn’t see what was going on was Maia.
He pulls me toward my trailer as he hisses, “I can’t find Charlotte.”
I stop dead. “What? You better not have just said what I think you fucking said.”
Darryn looks at me apologetically, wringing his hands. “I went to your trailer to give her the meds, and it was empty. No one else has seen her since this morning.”
He had his uses around here, and usually, he helped me keep Charlotte under control, administering her medication, keeping an eye on her when she had her episodes, but on days like today, I wondered why I kept him around.
“Fuck.” I run a hand through my hair as I exhale. She couldn’t have gone far. Last time we found her down by a stream, bathing naked and alone, thank fuck.
Tilting his head at me, Darryn notes, “It seems you’ve lost your shirt.”
Grabbing his shirt, I pull him to me so that we’re nose to nose. “This is not a time to be fucking funny. Say another word and I’ll rip your wagging tongue out. Understand?”
He says nothing but nods, eyes on the floor.
Growling, I pull open the door to my trailer. “Why is everyone here fucking incompetent?”
“Where are you going?” he asks quietly.
I glare at him, and then motion to my bare chest, all my tattoos on display. While it may not be a problem on site to walk around like this, if we had to go out into the public to find Lottie, it was only going to attract attention, and that was the last thing I wanted. “To grab a shirt, and then I’m going to find her. Tell Jerry to meet me out the front.”
I throw a shirt on and then jog from my trailer to where Jerry and Darryn are waiting for me.
“Where are we going first, Ezra?”
“The beach.” I swear in a past life my sister must have been a fish the way she always ended up near bodies of water.
“I brought a shovel and tarp just in case,” Jerry says as he starts the truck, and I hope to all that is holy, that we don’t need them.
The beach itself is almost deserted as the sun sets, with only a few lone figures wandering along the sand, and for that, I’m grateful. We follow it along as far as we can until we’re almost at Topanga beach, with no sign of my sister until I spot a small bar next to a creek. If there were too many people around, she might have headed inland.
We follow the creek for ten minutes or so until we find her under a tree, blue dress covered in blood. Darryn looks her over from a distance, but he’s wary in case she isn’t stable, and I don’t blame him. About two years after her attack, I watched her bite the ear off one of our lighting techs just because he nudged her while reaching for some salt at the dinner table. My sister was a whirlwind of unpredictability.
“Lottie, what are you doing out here?” Jerry asks as he approaches her carefully, but she doesn’t reply. She doesn’t even acknowledge us as she sits on a rock and stares out at the water.
“Charlotte, where has all this blood come from?” I ask softly, as I stroke her hair out of her face. Her nose is sunburned, and her lips look chapped, how long has she been sitting out here?
She doesn’t say anything, but recognition sparks in her eyes as she turns to follow my voice. When she was like this, I was never sure what I was going to find. Her feet are bloody and shredded, and there are two buttons missing from the top of her dress, almost like someone has grabbed her. Darryn begins to scan the area, while Jerry checks in the growth along the creek bank, stabbing at the plants with his shovel in case anything jumps out.
I put an arm around her. “Lottie, no one is angry. But you need to tell us, who’s blood is this?”
She sighs heavily, as if she has the weight of the world on her shoulders before pointing across the creek and further downstream. Jerry and Darryn both rush over, and a quick nod from Jerry confirms what I already know: there’s a body in the bushes.
Jerry gets the body wrapped in the tarp, it’s a man in a wetsuit, while Darryn goes to find out if anyone saw Charlotte earlier. If there’s a witness, he’ll buy their silence like he normally does. It’s one of the reasons I bring him with me, his cool head, otherwise I’d be leaving a trail of bodies in our wake as I try to protect my sister.
Body loaded in the back of the truck, the three witnesses paid off, and my sister sitting beside me, we head back to camp. Jerry drops us off before finding a place to get rid of the dead surfer, and I take Lottie back to my trailer for a warm shower so that Darryn can look her over properly. She doesn’t say a word, nor make a single sound, and I don’t know
how to reach her when she’s like this.
“It’s almost time for the show,” he says, closing her door behind him.
“I know,” I grind out. I was aware of the time, but my sister was also sick, and I needed to make sure she would be fine before I left.
Darryn gives me a look. “They need you out there.”
I snort. “Don’t you fucking lecture me, Doctor.”
He places his little kit on the kitchen worktop. “Charlotte is asleep, I gave her a sedative, and other than some dehydration, mild sunburn, and the cuts on her feet, she’s fine.”
“Fine?” I laugh bitterly, the word clawing at my throat. “That’s the third body this year, Darryn.”
Charlotte didn’t always get murderous during her episodes, but when she did, I wasn’t always sure I could cover it up. There was going to come a time when she did something I couldn’t undo. Someone I couldn’t pay off.
“Don’t pretend that bothers you, Ezra,” Darryn says quietly, his voice hushed. This was the dark side of my life, this was normal for us. And it certainly wasn’t the most fucked-up thing going on at the Carnaval.
Crossing my arms, I answer honestly. “No, it doesn’t. I’d bury a hundred bodies for her.”
Rubbing his thumb across his chin, Darryn hits the nail on the head. “You’re just waiting for it to be one of us.”
He was right. I was waiting for the day that Lottie destroyed everything I’d built. I was waiting for her to hurt one of my freaks, and while I wouldn't shed a tear, I promised them a sanctuary. Ezra Black was a fucker, a tight-fisted, mean, violent asshole who didn’t care about anyone other than Charlotte, but he wasn’t a liar, and I couldn’t let her make me into one.
I don’t reply, instead I go to the dress tent where the others are panicking because I’m running late, and I pull on my Ringmaster costume. Looking at my reflection, I smirk, it’s almost like I become another person, and tonight, I was going to dazzle the audience, pull them over to the dark side, and have them questioning every moral they held dear. I needed to get out of my own head, and into their nightmares. That was my job, that was what I was good at. I was the master here, and the show must go on.
Master Page 6