by Sharon Hinck
“No.” Nolan leaned out to get a better view, while sliding a lethal-looking dagger from his boot sheath. “Only partly.”
Did the boy think that if we were discovered he’d be able to fight armed warriors three times his size? They were both crazy. And I was the most foolish of all to throw in my lot with them.
I held my breath as the delegation and soldiers filed into the city. A blur of movement indicated that Kieran still hid in the underbrush by the trees.
Only when the final people stepped through and the heavy gate swung closed could I breathe again. I slumped with relief, collapsing against the boulder. But with the relief came a flare of anger. “So what was the point of that? Just escaping the city wasn’t exciting enough for him?”
As the words left my mouth, Kieran returned, but he wasn’t alone. He propelled a scrawny young man in front of him by twisting one of the man’s arms behind his back and pressing a bootknife hard against his neck.
A few desperate mewling sounds escaped the man’s throat.
“Always look for the stragglers,” Kieran said to his son, as if instructing him on how to craft a field gauge rather than how to kidnap and terrorize a person. He increased pressure on the man’s arm, eliciting a gasp. “Why is a group from Corros visiting Sidian?”
I sprang to my feet. “Stop that, you’re hurting him.”
He ignored me and let his blade press hard enough to break skin.
The man’s eyes flared and he squeaked.
I wanted to lunge at Kieran and pull him away, but a small slip of the dagger could do irreparable harm.
“Zarek offered help,” the man choked out.
“What kind of help?” Kieran’s voice was so full of menace a chill cut through the fever flushing my skin.
“Our plans . . . I can’t . . .”
Another twist, another gasp. The captive squeezed his eyes shut, face contorted with pain. “To strengthen our clan. Weapons. Lehkan. That’s all I know. All the resources have gone to Lyric,” he added bitterly. “We’ve faced the most risk holding the border with Hazor all these years. If we can’t get help from other clans, we’ll get it here.”
Kieran shifted his grip, cutting off the man’s breath with his forearm. In moments, the prisoner slumped.
Appalled, I stumbled back a few steps, staring at my supposed rescuer. “You’ve killed him!” I should have stopped him somehow. Shouldn’t have come with them. I struggled to think of a new plan, but my head felt tangled with waterweed, and the world swam.
“He’ll be fine. But we need to move.” Kieran tightened his baldric and adjusted the strap on his pack.
I knelt by the man and pressed my hand to his chest, feeling a reassuring beat of his heart. At least Kieran wasn’t lying about that. Still, I scowled as I straightened, ready to blast him for his brutality. Instead, the ground seemed to waver and I closed my mouth, all energy focused on staying upright.
Nolan stared at the thick woods some distance from our hiding place, then he glanced back at me. “Oh, no. Look at her eyes.”
Kieran’s face swam into focus, inches away. “Linette, still with us? You’re looking glassy.”
I blinked. His eyes were dark pools, full of hidden currents. They stirred something inside me. This would be so much easier if I could trust him—if I could follow him, believing he was leading me someplace safe. But I didn’t know whom to trust. I fought for another weak breath, my lungs laboring as if they’d filled with clay.
Kieran took my face between his hands. His palms were wonderfully cool, and I closed my eyes and imagined that he was drawing the horrible burning heat from my skin.
“What do we do?” Nolan asked.
I swallowed against the caradoc wool that had taken up residence in my throat. “The drug patch,” I rasped. “It was too late. Bezreth said I would die.”
Kieran let go of me, then shoved a gourd into my hand. “Not yet, you won’t. Drink this.”
Tart liquid filled my mouth and I choked it down. The orberry wine burned my throat, but maybe it would coax out a bit more strength.
Nolan wedged himself beside me and supported my elbow. “The patrols will be back any time. We have to run.”
Kieran grabbed the gourd and didn’t spare me another look. But he took up position on my other side, pulling my arm over his shoulders. “Let’s go.”
They propelled me forward, and I fought to keep my feet moving. Each step sent jarring pain up my spine, as if the rocky ground were charged with electricity like the wire of my cell. My head seemed to float outside myself, and brown, grey, and dark green shades swam past.
As we drew closer to the forest, I realized that the men were taking on more of my weight, half carrying me as they kept up an all-out run. Even Kieran was out of breath, and he stumbled a few times on the rough terrain.
He didn’t let us slow when we reached the trees. Now a dizzying wash of dark branches, trunks, and underbrush swirled past us.
At last, Kieran stopped, letting go of me to grasp his thighs, doubled over and sucking in great gasps of air. I sank to my knees, grateful we had stopped moving, but now that I wasn’t running, the earth seemed to spin beneath me.
“You’re bleeding again,” Nolan said quietly.
Confused, I held onto the ground for support and looked up. Nolan wasn’t talking to me. He was looking at his father.
Kieran straightened and shrugged. “I’m fine.” Dark splotches soaked through his tunic. His skin had the pale, drawn cast of hide stretched over a drum.
“Are you hurt?” I couldn’t imagine what I could do to help, but my instinct was to offer aid.
The strain eased from around his eyes and a brief smile flitted across his face. “Nothing serious.” He shifted his gaze to Nolan. “But we aren’t going to get far like this. Change of plans.”
Nolan nodded, but neither of them bothered to explain what the new plan was. They hauled me to my feet and kept walking. The haze of fever swallowed me, but thankfully it was only a short while until they stopped again. Nolan scooted ahead and pulled some branches aside, while Kieran kept me upright. A dark crevice appeared in the rock face, like the leering mouth of a shrine statue. Nolan slipped into the opening, and I shuddered.
Kieran pushed me in, following right behind me.
Nolan had already unpacked a heat trivet, and a soft glow illuminated the cave where we found ourselves. At its highest point, I could touch the ceiling, which curved steeply to the ground. Barely the size of a small common room, the hiding place was cramped and dark with the three of us and the men’s packs and weapons. A blanket and some food scraps littered the stone floor near the back of the cave. I sank down, fingering the fabric.
“It’s where he hid until he could get you out.” Nolan shoved his pack under the sloped ceiling to get it out from underfoot. “Had to figure out a rescue plan.”
Kieran eased his pack from his shoulders, wincing. “Which isn’t going terribly well so far.”
Nolan’s teeth flashed. “We’re all still alive.”
His father snorted. “For now. Look at her. And we have to keep moving. I have to get to Lyric to let them know Corros is plotting illegal treaties with Hazor.”
“Maybe if she rests a little.”
I cleared my throat. “You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here.” But the flare of irritation stole the last of my strength, and I let myself sink toward the inviting blanket, curling up and closing my eyes to shut out the spinning rock walls.
A hand slipped under my neck and the gourd of fermented orberry juice was pressed to my lips. I groaned and turned my head away.
“Drink it.” Kieran’s low command made me open my eyes. I took a few swallows.
He passed the juice back to Nolan, but kept holding me. “We’re going to have to keep moving. The healers in Braide Wood would know how t
o help, but we need to go in the other direction so I can get to Lyric.”
“We’ll have to take her to Braide Wood first,” Nolan said with uncharacteristic sharpness. “Lyric can wait.”
Kieran gave his son a long look. “Whatever I decide, we’ll have to move before she gets worse.”
“Worse?” I held up the wristband. “I should be getting better. Just give me a little time.”
He swallowed, and cords flexed along his neck. Easing my head down, he exchanged a look with Nolan. “Right. You rest awhile.” He backed away and turned to unpack some supplies.
Now that I was still, questions shouted for attention in my mind like unruly children. “How did we know each other before? Why did you take me out of the shrine? Who is tracking you?”
Nolan crouched beside me, brushed his bangs from his eyes, and smiled. “He hasn’t bothered to explain much, has he? It’s not what he’s good at.”
Kieran blew out an irritated breath and ignored us.
“Is anything coming back?” Nolan settled himself more comfortably, hugging his knees.
I shook my head, but the movement sent fresh pain through my skull and I groaned.
Nolan touched my forehead lightly, then pulled his hand back. “You were—you are a songkeeper. From Braide Wood. I spent some time there once. Uncivilized place, really.”
Kieran whipped a roll of fabric across the cave, hitting Nolan in the back of the head. The boy threw him a grin then turned back to me. “You also spent time in Lyric.” His expression sobered as he watched me for a glimmer of recognition. “When people gathered at the tower, you helped lead the singing.”
Nolan went on to tell me about mind-poisoning Rhusicans, a corrupt council member, and a threatened war with Hazor. The stories had a vague familiarity, like distant legends, but nothing in my memories could confirm them as fact. Still, his rambling recitation soothed. My muscles relaxed and my eyes drifted closed, but I fought hard to keep listening, to gather this information. To hear Nolan tell it, his father had heroically saved the entire city of Lyric.
Hard to believe. I squinted one eye open. Kieran had his back half-turned toward us, but I could still see his scowl. In his stained and torn tunic, unwrapping cooking gear, he hardly looked like the hero Nolan described.
“After the battle at Morsal Plain, he became the Restorer. So he wanted—”
The Restorer. I lifted my head. “‘The Restorer is empowered with gifts to defeat our enemies and turn the people’s hearts back to the Verses. We wait in the darkness for the One who brings light . . . ’” Like a strong chord of music that expanded to fill the air, a flare of memory sang through me. The words tasted smooth on my tongue, familiar as a favorite meal.
Kieran stopped his rummaging and stared at me. Nolan’s eyes brightened.
I winced. “That’s all I remember.”
“‘The Deliver will come,’” Kieran said softly. “‘And with His coming all darkness will be defeated.’ And if He’s paying attention, I’d say this would be a good time for Him to show up.” He shifted to set a bowl on the heat trivet that lit the center of the cave. There wasn’t real rancor in his tone, just the weary sound of a man who had been battling too much for too long.
Nolan grabbed a small bread loaf from the supplies near the packs and handed it to me. “Eat something. We have to keep moving.”
I propped on an elbow, my head so weighted I longed to lay it back down on the hard ground. “Can’t we just stay here for a while?”
Neither man answered me. Nolan stuffed another wedge of bread into his mouth. Kieran stirred the simmering bowl, then poured some into a wooden travel mug and handed it to me. “Drink it all.”
Pungent steam rose around my face and I ventured a small sip. I remembered the flavor. Like the music and the verses, this taste teased a link with my past. Maybe I’d put all the pieces together eventually.
If I survived long enough. The fever seemed to be worsening. As I sat up to drink the rest, my head swam.
“Have to redress your wounds before we head out,” Nolan told his father around a full mouth.
“It can wait.”
Nolan ignored him and grabbed some bandages. “No, it can’t. She can barely stand. What do I do if we’re on the trail and you fade out too? I can’t carry you both.”
Kieran made a dismissive sound, but glanced at the side of his tunic that was dark and wet. “Well, get on with it then.”
Nolan peeled the fabric away and helped Kieran pull the tunic over his head. Haphazard strips of cloth wrapped his torso, colored with red and brown. Bruises and raw gashes covered the skin of his shoulders above the bandages.
I gasped. “What happened?”
He shrugged one shoulder, then winced. “A small souvenir from Zarek. Could have been worse. Would have been if I hadn’t escaped. Nolan’s quick thinking and some shrewd bribes gave me just the opening I needed.”
Nolan shook his head and pulled the bandages free without taking time to be gentle. Fresh blood seeped from a deep cut on Kieran’s side. A roaring buzz swelled in my ears, and I set the mug down, sinking back to the blanket as black sand filled my vision.
“Well, at least that hasn’t changed,” Kieran commented.
I surrendered to the fuzzy cloud and curled away from the men, the blood, the confusion. I must have dozed, because the next time I shifted my position and looked, Kieran was back in his tunic and belting on his sword. “Scout the trail,” he said to Nolan.
The boy left his pack and slipped outside, as quick and agile as a minnow.
I sat up and pain pounded so intensely in my skull that I groaned. “I’m sorry. I can’t go any further. Not yet.”
Kieran seemed to tower over me as he looked down. “We don’t have a choice. I have to get you to the healers right away.”
“Why?” I wrapped my fingers around the armband. “We just need time for Bezreth’s drug patches to start working again.”
He crouched down, his face close enough that I could see the pallor under his stubble. “We can’t wait for them to work.”
“But why?”
He met my eyes squarely. “Because I lied.”
My head throbbed. Lied? What was new about that?
“It’s not one of her patches.”
I stared at my forearm. “But you . . .”
“I had to get us out of Sidian. There was no way to get back into the shrine and get Bezreth’s patches. But you don’t want them anyway. They’re what she uses to make people forget.”
I felt blood leave my face. “They’re what kept me alive!” My shoulders pressed back, braced against the sloping roof of the cave. “You have to take me back into town. I’ll take my chances with the shrine.”
Kieran crouched down and his dark eyes bored into me. “You know the One. Would you really serve the hill-gods?”
Unfair. Everything in me rejected the hill-gods. That piece of myself had broken through the fog. But did that mean I should trust Kieran and leave Sidian? Leave my only guarantee of survival? He just admitted he’d lied to me again.
“It’s clear.” Nolan poked his head into the cave.
Pain drilled behind my eyes. I rubbed them and groaned. I needed to make up my mind about whether these men were allies or enemies. But it was so hard to think past the throbbing in my head. Everything in my line of sight wavered like wisps of steam from a pot of clavo.
I pulled the armband off.
Kieran’s hand closed over mine. “No. The patch isn’t one of Bezreth’s, but it will help with the pain.”
Nolan stepped inside and nodded earnestly. “They helped my mother when she had the fever.”
I tugged my hand free and frowned at the silver wristband. It was a sign of Bezreth’s ownership of me. Of my captivity to the shrine. “I won’t wear this.”
“That’s fine
.” Nolan dug in his pack and offered me a drug patch. “This will work without it.”
Each beat of my pulse pounded against my skull. Maybe I was just exchanging one captivity for another, but if this would ease the pain . . .
I stuck the patch to the pale skin under my elbow and let my sleeve fall back into place. “You really think the healers at Braide Wood can fix me? Will they help me remember who I am?”
Kieran rubbed his forehead. “When there’s only one option, you take it, and take it fast. We’re out of choices. We aren’t leaving you here. So let’s go.”
He wasn’t very good at being reassuring. Nolan rolled his eyes, apparently thinking the same thing. Still, Kieran made sense. If Bezreth was the one who had stolen my memory, then the only option was to travel as far from here as possible, to reach these Braide Wood healers. I’d never manage alone.
Using the cave walls for support, I eased to my feet. “Well, if we’re leaving, let’s leave.”
Nolan shot his father a worried frown, but picked up one of the packs and ducked back out. Kieran grabbed the heat trivet and levered it off. The cave fell into heavy darkness as he slipped through the opening, leaving me alone. The gritty smell of rock and dirt felt thick in my throat.
I could curl up on the hard rock and drift into sleep. Perhaps I’d never wake up, never have to face the horrible emptiness that filled my mind as my thoughts turned in any direction. Or I could risk a painful and dangerous escape with Kieran and Nolan on the slim chance that I’d find my memories, find healing, and find truth at the end of the journey.
The soft grey of daylight drew me toward the cave’s entrance.
Holy One, I want to find You again. Do You want to be found by me? Will You guide me to someone who can help me remember?
A new hunger burned in my chest. However difficult the journey, and whatever I discovered at the end of it, I needed to know more about the One.
Bending made my head swim, but I reached down for the coarse blanket I’d been lying on, shook it out, and wrapped it around my shoulders. Then I forced my unsteady legs to move and left the cave.