by Kristy Marie
For fuck’s sake. I’ve resorted to thoughts of kidnapping.
Liam kisses the top of her hand.
Yeah, kidnapping sounds good right about now. Or murder. Either would make me feel better.
“Bye, Liam. It was nice to meet you.”
It’s the dinner nightmare that keeps playing through my head. The run with my father did nothing to quell the rage.
“Bennett,” Aspen whispers, her head still bowed on the shower door.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.” Her words are somber, and the fact that she even feels like she needs to say them, cuts deep.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
It’s the truth. Aspen doesn’t need to tell me if she kept in contact with Cooper Lexington. The problem is I was more angry with the fact she was talking to another guy. Because that’s what our relationship has come to. I get jealous over everyone—the new boss, Liam, or the high school senior, Cooper—anyone I fear could take Aspen away from me.
My life has become one of constant fear. What if he’s the one? What if his smile and charming personality steal her away from me?
It’s why I’ve treated her like she was helpless. Like she needed protecting. But really, all I’ve done these past few years is protect myself. I kept guys from talking or looking at her just so they had no chance of taking her from me.
And for what? Because I’m so much better for her? The guy who can never love her because he enforces rules that will prevent him from getting close enough to make mistakes.
“I should have told you about Cooper,” she says finally.
A heaviness pushes on my chest as I think of the possibility of letting her go at the end of the summer—the possibility of the Coopers and Liams of the world making her happy.
“I’m thinking of opening up my own agency,” she whispers. “Or,” she hesitates, “I could work with Thad. It would keep us together.”
My chest… God, why can’t I breathe?
“If I choose one of those, you wouldn’t need to transfer schools, Bennett.”
Her admission is a punch to my gut. “Aspen.”
She moves her hand up the glass, mirroring it with mine. How I wish I could touch her, fold her into my arms and love her like she deserves. But I can’t. We’ve done this for too long. We can’t quit now. I can’t lose sight of why I started the rules in the first place.
The exceptions are coming more frequently.
It’s why I offered to go to the lake house with Fenn and Drew, where we won’t be supervised. Where we can blur the lines and hang onto each other a little longer.
“We can do this, Bennett,” she promises. “Please, just try it. We can be together without the rules.”
I shake my head. “You know we can’t.”
“We can.” Her voice is a whispered plea. “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to them.”
It’s a promise she can’t make.
I groan. The air is chilling as the water runs cold against my back. “The only way you can promise not to destroy our fathers’ friendship is if we follow the rules.”
She’s quiet for a moment, and then I hear sniffles. “They can handle it, Bennett. They can.”
It’s the same conversation we’ve had for years. Sometimes she explodes and tells me to go to hell, and sometimes she cries. Tonight, it looks like the latter. And it fucking kills me. “Your father can handle it,” I clarify. “Not mine.”
“Bennett, Cade is—”
“Is fragile!” I suck in a breath, reining in my anger. “I can’t afford to be the person who destroys the first friendship he’s had since my uncle’s death.” I let my eyes drift shut. “I can’t do that to him, Aspen.”
“I understand,” she whispers, but I know she’s not telling the truth. No one understands the pain my father suffered when losing those men—my uncle included—in the line of duty.
He was destroyed, wandering around the streets, rotting. If it wasn’t for Anniston finding him, getting him the help he needed, he would have never met my mom. He would have never gotten to the point of establishing another friendship—something he vowed never to have—with Theo. What kind of son would I be if I took what I wanted, consequences be damned?
It’s not that I don’t love Aspen, I do. But the thought of doing irreparable damage to my father’s friendship causes a type of pain I can’t live with.
I can’t risk my father leaving again. I can’t risk him going down that dark path, or worse. I can’t risk my mother losing her husband or my brother losing his idol.
It’s too much to bear. I have to think about the wellbeing of our families. Aspen’s and mine. Theo won’t leave Fenn and Aspen, but what if me dating his daughter sends him into a rage? What if he disapproves and kicks my family off his land? What if the veterans who come here every day lose their place of refuge? What if loving Theo’s daughter destroys everything?
“Then we’ll cherish this last summer together.”
Aspen’s voice shocks me back into our present reality. “What?” I shake my head. “What are you saying?”
Her voice shakes. “I’m saying I understand, Bennett. I won’t ask you to change your rules again. Cade is important to me too. But after this summer, I think it’s best we part ways.”
No.
My chest pounds. “I—”
She interrupts me, her voice strained. “Let’s just enjoy the summer.”
I should agree with her. Parting ways needs to happen but—“Wait, Asp.” I reach for the door but then remember the rules. No nakedness. I can’t see her naked, and she certainly cannot see me. “Stay,” I beg. “Don’t leave like this.”
I know before she even speaks, she’s not staying. “I can’t.”
I nod and it’s painful. I know my words are harsh and the rules are unfair, but I’m trying. I’m trying to keep the woman I love. I’m trying to keep her in my life in any way possible.
I need to.
And that’s where I’ve failed.
I should have walked away from Aspen all together. But I couldn’t. I tried. I’m not perfect. I’m a selfish prick. She doesn’t deserve to be kept at arms-length. She doesn’t deserve to follow rules she doesn’t want to.
Aspen Von Bremen deserves the world, and I’m a failure for not giving it to her.
“Are you still up for our run in a few hours?” I ask, looking up and seeing nothing.
She’s gone.
“Heaven help me, I will drown you in the pool.”
I should have known Aspen would blow off our run, leaving me instead to run with Drew and my father.
“Leave him alone,” my dad defends. “He’s tired.”
He would know. I heard him up at four this morning too. I didn’t go out since I knew he was waiting on Theo to arrive for their morning run. This run with me and Drew is his second of the day. I’m always amazed he can keep weight on with the amount of cardio he gets in.
“We’re all tired,” argues Drew. “And yet, we still manage not to be a dick.”
“I’m not being a dick.”
Drew pulls to a halt. “You punched me in the face!”
I did. He asked me where Aspen was this morning. I told him I didn’t know. He made a shitty joke about her showing Liam around town.
“Keep running, both of you.”
My dad shoves Drew, and he turns back and cuts me a shitty look. “I’m tired of being your punching bag when Aspen ghosts you.”
I hit him once, not hourly.
“She didn’t ghost me,” I correct him. “She went with Mom and Anniston to set up for the carnival.”
My dad nods. “Which is exactly where you two are headed as soon as we’re through. I need some help with setting up the entrance.”
Drew groans. “I’m so glad I could come all the way back from college and provide you with some free labor.”
Dad arches a brow. “And I’m so glad I can work my ass off and pay a hundre
d percent of your college expenses since you fucked up your scholarship.”
Like Fenn, Drew is on the baseball team. They come as a pair. Drew is Fenn’s catcher. Together, they’ve been undefeated since they played travel ball in middle school. They both received a scholarship, and both were suspended for fighting on the field. Of course, Fenn started it, but when Drew went out to the pitcher’s mound to stand between Fenn and the batter from the rival team, the guy swung and leveled Drew with a shot to the jaw. Fenn took that as a green light and they both had to be pulled from the field.
“Touché,” Drew says, laughing. “All I’m saying is I would much rather sleep in until four and follow up a few hours of video games with mom’s famous lasagna in my lap.”
We crest the hill in time to see Theo loading up the car. “Where’s he going?” I ask Dad.
He shrugs. “Probably to the site to help the girls.”
“Is he mad at Aspen about last night?” I have to know. I wanted to ask her last night, but things spiraled, and it never came up.
“Uh,” my dad pauses. “I don’t think so.”
“He didn’t say on your run this morning?”
Dad laughs. “He says a lot of things on our morning runs.”
I almost whine. “Come on. You know what I want to know.”
He grins good naturedly. “Maybe you should ask Aspen then.”
And maybe everyone in my family shouldn’t be so fucking difficult.
“I would,” I grit. “If she were talking to me.”
“I knew it!” Drew hollers. “Didn’t I say she was ghosting him?” He’s talking to Dad, not me.
“What’s up with you two, anyway?” Dad says, ignoring my brother. “You’ve been acting weird since graduation.”
“They act weird every day,” Drew adds.
“Can you shut the fuck up?” I blurt out at my brother. Why does coming home bring out the immaturity in us? “We’re fine,” I snap at my dad. “We’re just tired with finals and the move.”
It’s partly the truth.
Dad shrugs, slowing his pace to a walk and cooling down. “Okay. Whatever you say. I just think you should probably clear up whatever problem you may have before things spiral out of control and Aspen leaves after the summer.”
Does he not think that thought goes through my head every single day? I can’t sleep thinking about the pain I cause her. What am I supposed to do, though? I can’t choose between my family and her. I want them both, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how not to ruin the two most important relationships of my life.
“I’m sure you have it handled.” My dad pats me on the shoulder. “I’ll see you both later. I need to talk to Theo before he leaves.”
I nod, slowing my pace to be in line with Drew’s. He rolls his eyes. “For the record, I don’t think you’re handling yours and Aspen’s relationship at all. You’re basically a walking time bomb. All I can hope is when you explode—because you will explode—you’ll only destroy yourself and not take the rest of us with you.”
Drew’s words had me on edge all day.
After everything I’ve done, implementing the rules, keeping Aspen at arm’s length… will our friendship—our love contained by rules—ultimately destroy our families?
The one thing I worried over and it’s going to happen regardless of my efforts. Losing Aspen will devastate me. It will—there’s no question. I can lie to myself and my family, but the reality is I love her and nothing I’ve done has changed those feelings.
But I can’t lose her.
And I can’t destroy our families.
But I can minimize the damage we cause. Aspen and I are friends. All we need to do is stay calm—and not look at anymore of those tit pictures—until we’re far away from our families.
Outside of the main house, I walk around the cobblestones to the pool where Aspen is floating. The sun is setting, and it casts a faint glow around her golden hair piled on the top of her head. She would look like a real-life angel if it weren’t for the bubble rising above her lips.
“Can I help you remove your eyes from my daughter, Bennett?”
Shit.
I cut my gaze to the pergola where Theo is reclining back on the outdoor sofa, his wife lounging sideways across his lap, reading a magazine—in a bikini. Theo’s beer rests on her abdomen, his finger swirling lazily around her belly button.
I look away. I don’t want Theo thinking my eyes are drifting anywhere but his face. “No, sir. I just came to ask Aspen a question.”
Aspen pops her bubble and grins. “I can’t hear you from that far away,” she lies. “Come closer and ask me.”
Anniston snickers and Theo smirks. “You heard the lady.” He shoos me with a flip of his hand.
Sighing, I cross the concrete border and wait by the ledge. “This is as close as I’m getting,” I announce. I know her games, and I don’t think for a second she couldn’t hear me.
She treads the water one-handed, slowly making her way to the side. “You know,” she says with a slight twitch of her lips, “you could have texted me your question.”
My jaw twitches. “And you would have ignored it along with the other texts I sent today.”
She chuckles, all proud of herself. “That’s probably true.”
See? I gave her space this morning, but then I joined my father and went to the property to set up for the carnival. I was hoping to see her and corner her into talking to me, but she was gone before I arrived. Anniston said she met Vee for lunch. So I’ve waited. And texted. And waited some more. It wasn’t until my brother flipped me off and said everyone was having dinner at the main house that I realized she was home and punishing me for last night.
“What can I do for you, Jameson?”
Jameson.
The only name that will send me into a raging asshole.
I can handle BJ or Ben, or even Jameson Junior, but just Jameson sends my patience up in flames. Maybe it’s how she says it, aloof and cold, as if she’s speaking to a stranger. However she means it, I read her loud and clear.
“Don’t call me that,” I growl quietly. I don’t want her father to hear me, but I’ll be damned if she addresses me like the bag boy at the local market.
She smirks. “Don’t call you by your name?”
I squat down, intending to keep my voice low. “I know what you’re doing,” I warn. “We’re not at home. We have witnesses.”
She paddles more, her hand lazily pushing back the water. “I know exactly where we are, Jameson. Your threats don’t work here.”
Fuck it.
I stand, shucking off my shirt and then my shoes.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she says, looking just past me, no doubt checking if her father is watching.
I shrug, slipping off my watch and tossing my phone onto the pile of clothes on the concrete. I can feel my muscles tensing with every second she holds that shit-eating grin. If she doesn’t think I’ll snatch her ass out of the water with her dad here… she’d better think again.
“Okay, fine.” She huffs. “What question did you need to ask, B—”
I don’t wait for her to finish before I jump in, splashing cold water over her, and snatching the float beneath her.
“Bennett!”
I haul her up and pull her to my chest. We’re both breathing heavily as we glare into each other’s eyes. “You’re an asshole,” she bites out.
“You’ve called me worse.”
She tries to pull away, but I tighten my hold. “Let me go,” she clips.
“No.”
She looks behind me and whispers, “He’s getting up.”
My stare never wavers. “Then he’ll have to pry you from my hands.”
She rears back, her throat working as she digests my words. I’m not playing around. Just because we’re home doesn’t mean I won’t work my issues out with her.
“Bennett,” Theo drawls. “I’m going to grab a beer.” Aspen’s eyes widen and I arch a brow, fig
hting off a grin. “When I come back, I expect you two to be playing nice.”
Aspen slumps in my arms. Whatever her plan was, it’s ruined now.
I nod, my eyes never leaving Aspen’s. “Will do, sir.”
Aspen’s gaze follows her father’s steps, and when I chance a look, I notice Anniston has gone inside with him, leaving us out here alone.
“Are you ready to talk to me now?” I ask Aspen, the adrenaline settling into exhaustion.
She sighs, pulling her gaze back to mine. “I don’t want to talk about last night,” she says. “I meant what I said. I want to enjoy the last summer we have together.” She tries for a smile, but it falls flat. “Can you give me that?”
Can I? I’m not sure I can. I don’t want this to be our last summer together. “I—”
“Can I make a rule?”
I smirk. “We don’t have a marker.”
“We can write it down later.”
I nod. “Alright, what’s the rule?”
“I want one weekend this summer—”
I’m already shaking my head.
“Hear me out.”
I sigh. “I’m listening.”
She smiles, and it’s killer. Her white teeth flash in the last rays of sun as her hands drop to the waistband of my jeans. “I want one weekend of no rules.”
My stomach dips. “You know I can’t agree to that.”
Her head dips as she stares down at the water. “Yes, you can.”
“Aspen—”
“Rule number whatever,” she cuts me off. “Whatever happens on that weekend of my choosing will never be spoken of.” She lifts her head, holding my gaze. “It’ll be like it never happened—just me and you and a memory we’ll always have.” She swallows. “Please, Bennett. I promise to obey all the rules for the rest of the summer. Give me this one thing.”
I consider her offer. As much as I would love to spend a weekend with her freely, I can’t. We won’t walk away with just a memory. We’ll walk away in pieces. “We can’t.”