“Yeah, I noticed.”
“Earlier today, I was reading some of the articles written by Amish and Mennonite people,” she said. “They sure live a different lifestyle from the rest of America.”
He nodded and kissed the top of Jimmy’s head.
“I’d like to visit Pennsylvania Dutch country again sometime. Maybe try to learn a little more about the Amish people’s unusual culture. When do you think we might make another trip to Pennsylvania?”
Jim nearly choked. The last thing he needed was to bring his wife and boy back to Lancaster County so he could be snagged for kidnapping. “I—uh—think Mom and Dad are planning to make a trip out here next summer, so there’s not much point in us making plans to go to the East Coast for a few more years.”
Linda’s lower lip protruded, but it wasn’t going to work this time. Her whining, pouting, or cajoling would not get her a trip to Pennsylvania or even Ohio—not if Jim had anything to say about it.
***
“Naomi, I’m glad you could make it.”
Naomi looked over at Ginny, who had flopped onto the picnic bench. “I was surprised Papa had no objections to me leavin’ the store.”
Ginny smiled. “That is one for the books.”
“Maybe he’s sick of seeing me.” Naomi stared down at her clasped hands. “Ever since Zach was taken, he’s had trouble lookin’ me in the eye.”
Ginny clicked her tongue. “Well, shame on him. Doesn’t your dad realize you didn’t leave Zach sitting on that picnic table on purpose? It’s not like you were hoping he’d be kidnapped or anything.”
Naomi swallowed the bile rising in her throat. “I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but the truth is, I’ve often wished I could be free of caring for my family—even daydreamed about how it would be if I were an only child.”
Ginny elbowed Naomi in the ribs. “Get real, girl! Anyone with brothers and sisters has wished that more than once. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered how much better my life would be if my brother, Tim, had never been born.”
Tears welled up in Naomi’s eyes, and she sniffed in an effort to hold them back. It seemed like all she did anymore was cry. Cry and feel sorry for herself.
“I’m here to tell you that just because you wished you had no siblings to care for doesn’t mean you were the cause of your brother being abducted.”
“But I’m the one who left him in the yard with a complete stranger.” She gulped on a sob. “If Zach never comes home, I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself.”
“If your family was more supportive, you could probably deal with this a lot better.” Ginny squeezed Naomi’s hand. “Want to know what I think?”
Naomi shrugged, knowing Ginny would probably give her opinion no matter how she replied.
“I think you need to get away from this place.”
“What place? The park?”
Ginny snickered. “No, silly. Lancaster County and your accusing family.”
Naomi’s mouth fell open. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you and I should hit the road—jump in my sports car and head for parts unknown.” Ginny frowned. “I’m getting sick of helping out at my folks’ restaurant. If I don’t strike out on my own pretty soon, they’ll have me tied to that place.”
Naomi trembled. Just the thought of leaving home sent shivers up her back. She had never been any farther north than East Earl and no farther south than Strasburg. Truth was, the Fishers were a stay-at-home kind of family. They didn’t hire English drivers to take them on vacation trips like some in their community were fond of doing.
“Promise me you’ll think about what I said. Your family doesn’t appreciate you, and my advice is to get away. Put as many miles between you and them as you can.”
“What about the promise I made to Mama before she died? I told her I’d look after the family, and if I leave, I’ll be breakin’ that vow.”
“Get real, Naomi. Nobody in your family listens to what you say anymore. You’ve told me that several times. You wouldn’t be reneging on your promise; you’d be setting your family free.”
Naomi swiped her hand across her damp cheeks. “You think they’d see it that way?”
Ginny nodded.
Naomi filled her lungs with the humid air clinging to her clothes like flypaper. Would she be dishonoring her mother’s wishes if she left? Could she do it? She grabbed hold of her lunch pail and squeezed the handles. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can promise.”
CHAPTER 20
Naomi awoke in a cold sweat. She’d been dreaming about Zach again. She’d done that several times since his disappearance, but this dream was the worst. In the nightmare, Zach sat on the picnic table, his arms outstretched, tears coursing down his rosy cheeks. She stood in the doorway, wanting to go to him but unable to move her legs. She’d tried calling Zach’s name but couldn’t find her voice. A thick fog settled over the baby, and when it lifted, he was gone.
Naomi closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was glad it had only been a dream. The vision of Zach with his arms extended still disturbed her. “Be with him, Lord,” she prayed. “Be with my baby brother wherever he is.”
Naomi sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Maybe it was time to take down the crib. Seeing it sitting there empty was a painful reminder that her baby brother was gone. Maybe this was the reason he haunted her dreams so often. She’d left the crib up at first, hoping Zach would be returned. Then she justified it by telling herself that leaving it there was a reminder to pray for him.
“I’ll remember to pray for Zach even without seeing his crib,” she murmured.
Naomi tasted salty tears as she dismantled her little brother’s bed. “I’m such a failure,” she moaned. “Maybe Ginny’s right. My family would be better off without me.”
She hauled the crib across the hall and positioned it behind several boxes in the storage closet. Guess Ginny didn’t actually say they’d be better off if I was gone. She just said I’d be setting them free. But that adds up to the same thing in my estimation.
Naomi tiptoed back to her room. It was only five in the morning, and she didn’t want to wake the younger ones, who were still asleep in their beds. I need to have a heart-to-heart talk with Papa before I make any decisions that could affect the rest of my life. I have to find out how he really feels about me. If there’s even a chance he thinks we can iron things out, I’ll keep trying to make it work.
Naomi slipped a dark green dress over her head, quickly did up her hair, and put her white head covering in place. She padded across the room in her bare feet and grabbed the doorknob. Papa would probably be doing his morning chores in the barn by now. If her brothers weren’t working near him, she’d go there and talk to Papa before starting breakfast.
Several minutes later, Naomi stepped into the barn. It was dark and quiet, with only the occasional nicker of the horses to break the peaceful silence. She made her way toward the goat pen, knowing Papa usually started milking the goats first thing.
Soon she heard his muffled voice, and the steady ping, ping, ping of milk spurting into the bucket confirmed that Papa was there. She halted at the door when she perceived his first words.
“Oh, Lord God, You know how hard I’ve been tryin’,” he wailed. “I want to forgive the man who stole Zach from us. I want to forgive Naomi for her part in Zach’s disappearance, too, but it’s ever so hard.” He sniffed, and Naomi could tell from her dad’s quavering voice that he was close to tears.
“I thought if I kept praying and trusting, You’d bring Zach home to us, but that hasn’t happened. Where is Your goodness, Lord?” There was a pause, followed by a deep moan. “Naomi hasn’t been happy since Sarah died and she was left to care for the kinner. Truth is, I think all my oldest daughter wants is to be free of us ... to marry the buggy maker and forget about her responsibilities here. I have to wonder if she didn’t leave Zach outside with that English fellow on purpose, h
opin’ he might take him. Then she would be shed of one little brother.” He grunted. “Maybe she’d like to get rid of the rest of her brothers and sisters, too.”
Naomi covered her mouth with the palm of her hand and steadied herself against the wall in order to keep from toppling over. Papa was baring his soul to God, and she was witness to it. For the first time since Zach’s kidnapping, she’d heard her daed say what had been buried deep in his soul. Papa not only blamed her for the kidnapping, but he thought she’d done it on purpose.
“Truth is, Lord, I can barely look at Naomi anymore,” Papa continued. “Sometimes I wish—”
Naomi couldn’t stand to hear another word. She choked on a sob, spun around, and rushed out of the barn.
***
Abraham felt washed out as he trudged toward the house. He’d been up since before dawn, done all his chores, and had spent more than an hour in the barn, praying and telling God everything on his heart. It hadn’t helped. He felt as miserable now as when he’d begun praying. If only there was a way to relieve his pain. If he could just make things right again.
When Abraham entered the kitchen, he thought it was strange that none of the gas lanterns were lit. Naomi was usually up by now, scurrying around the kitchen and yelling at Nancy and Mary Ann to get the table set for breakfast. There was no sign of her, and none of the children were around.
Maybe she overslept. If Naomi isn’t up yet, there’s a good chance the others are still in bed, too. His three youngest children relied on their older sister to rouse them each morning. They’d probably sleep ’til noon if she didn’t make them get up.
Abraham ambled across the room and set the pail of goat’s milk on the kitchen table. When he lit the lantern overhead, a piece of paper came into view. It was lying on the table, right where he sat for every meal. Looks like some kind of a letter.
He sank into a chair and began to read.
Dear Papa: I came to the barn earlier, hoping we might talk. We never got that chance because I overheard you speaking to God. I’ve known for many weeks, ever since Zach was taken, that you blame me for everything. I understand. I blame myself, too. After hearing the rest of your conversation with the Lord, I was hit with the cold, hard fact that you believe I wanted Zach to be taken. It’s not so, Papa. I would never want harm to come to any of the kinner, and I sure didn’t wish for that English fellow to take my baby brother. I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be best for the family if I left home. I’m no good to anyone, and none of the children want to mind me anymore. I’m heading out with Ginny Meyers into the English world. Don’t know where we’re going, but it’ll be far from here. Please know that I love you and the rest of the family, and I pray someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. I’ll never stop praying for Zach and his safe return, but if God doesn’t answer that prayer, then I’m askin’ Him to give Zach a good life with the one who took him. Your oldest daughter,
Naomi
Abraham let the paper slip from his fingers and fall to the floor. He sat there for several minutes as though in a daze. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be a horrible dream. Naomi always looked out for the kinner. Surely she wouldn’t set out with that spoiled English girl and leave her brothers and sisters to fend for themselves. And what about the store? Who would help him run the place now?
Abraham fell forward, his head resting on the table. First, I lost my dear wife in death, then my baby boy was snatched away, and now my oldest daughter has run off. He lifted his head as hot tears streamed down his face and dripped onto his beard. Dear Lord in heaven, I’ve lost them all. Oh, God, help me! What have I done?
***
Naomi stood trembling at the back door of Meyers’ Family Restaurant. It was still early, but she knew someone was inside because there were lights on. Probably getting ready for the Saturday morning breakfast crowd.
She drew in a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. She should be at home, getting breakfast on and lining out the chores she and the children needed to do for the day. Instead, she was about to embark on a journey that would likely change the rest of her life. Her family’s life would be different now, too. Will Samuel, Nancy, and Mary Ann be better off without their big sister telling them what to do? And what of Matthew, Jake, and Norman? Will they be relieved to hear I’ve run off?
She gulped in another breath and sank to the concrete porch. Her legs were still wobbly from running most of the way to town. What will Papa think when he reads my note? Will he be glad I’m gone? Will he hire a maid to help out now, or will he try to do everything alone?
After hearing the hurtful words her daed said to God in the barn, Naomi had made a beeline for the house, where she scrawled a note to Papa and hurriedly packed a few clothes and personal things. Then she’d headed out on foot, not wanting to take the time to hitch up the horse and buggy and knowing Papa might have heard if she had. Besides, taking the buggy would have complicated things. She would have had to leave it somewhere in town for Papa or one of the brothers to pick up later on. No, it was better that she’d come on her own.
Naomi stared across the empty parking lot. No customers yet, so it must be too early. Would Ginny be working today? What if she wasn’t? How would Naomi let her friend know she was ready to leave Lancaster County behind? She knew Ginny lived somewhere in the nearby town of Soudersburg, but she didn’t know the address.
Maybe I could ask her folks or someone else who works at the restaurant. Naomi got to her feet, and the back door suddenly opened. Relief flooded her soul when Ginny stepped onto the porch carrying a sack of garbage. She wore a pair of blue jeans and a yellow T-shirt with a white apron tied around her waist.
“Naomi! What are you doing here at this time of the day?”
Naomi’s knees threatened to buckle. She sat back down with a moan.
Ginny tossed the plastic sack into the dumpster beside the porch and took a seat on the step. “What’s wrong? I can tell by your swollen eyes and red cheeks that you’ve been crying.”
“I—I—came to see you.”
Ginny pointed at the suitcase sitting on the other side of Naomi. “You’ve run away from home?”
Naomi nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I can’t go back, Ginny.”
“Why? What happened?”
Naomi quickly related the story of how she’d overheard her father praying in the barn. “He believes I left Zach on the picnic table on purpose. He thinks our family would be better off without me.”
Ginny draped her arm over Naomi’s shoulder. “You did the right thing by leaving. I’ve told you many times that your family doesn’t appreciate you.” She sighed. “Truthfully, I don’t think my parents appreciate me, either. They’ve got me doing kitchen duty this morning, and Mom knows how much I hate it.”
Naomi swiped her hand across her face and sniffed. “If you’re still wantin’ the two of us to run away together, I’m more than ready to go.”
“Now?” Ginny looked over her shoulder as though someone might come out of the restaurant and catch the two of them making plans.
“Jah, if you can get away.”
Ginny chewed on her bottom lip. “Let’s see.... I drove my own car to work this morning, so transportation’s not a problem. However, I would need to go home and get some clothes and my bankbook. Can’t very well leave town without any money.”
“But today’s Saturday, and the bank’s not open,” Naomi reminded. “I have a little money with me—took it from my dresser drawer where I’d been savin’ up to buy a present for Jake. His birthday is two weeks from today.”
Ginny scrambled to her feet. “That’s going to be one birthday you’ll have to miss.”
Naomi didn’t need the reminder. The pain of not being there to help celebrate any of her family’s birthdays smarted like a bee sting.
“I doubt you have enough money to take us very far, but I’ve managed to save up a pretty good sum.” Ginny smiled. “And for your information, the bank we
use in Lancaster is open ’til one today, and even if it weren’t, there’s always an ATM machine.”
“After you get some money, then what?”
“First off, I’m going into the restaurant to get my purse. It’s got my car keys and driver’s license, which are both vital items. Then I’ll leave a note for my folks. When I’m sure nobody’s looking, I’ll come back outside; we’ll jump in my sports car, head for the house, grab a few things, and be off to the bank.” She grinned as though she was finding great joy in all of this. “From there, it’s hit the road and never look back!”
***
Abraham sat up. He didn’t know how long he’d been leaning over the table with his head resting on his arms. Rays of light streamed through the kitchen windows, bouncing off the walls and sending swirls of tiny dust particles through the air.
The older boys must be outside doing their chores yet, but he was sure the younger ones were still in bed. If there was ever a day when Abraham felt like closing the store and staying home, this was that day. Not since Zach’s kidnapping had he felt such anguish. How could he go about business as usual when Naomi had run off? How could he have let such a terrible thing happen? All Abraham wanted to do was climb the stairs to his room, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over his head.
But I have a family to support, he reminded himself. Besides, closing the store won’t bring Naomi home. Only God can do that, same as with Zach. He grimaced. Would God answer his prayers where his two children were concerned? He’d obviously failed them—probably failed God, too. If only he’d hired someone to help out after Sarah died. If he hadn’t been so stubborn and tightfisted, Naomi wouldn’t have had to work so hard. If she’d had more free time—time to do some fun things with others her age—maybe she wouldn’t have been preoccupied and left Zach alone in the yard.
“I’ve been too hard on her,” he moaned. “Now it’s too late.”
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