by Stephy Smith
She turned to Emory and gasped. There he was gawking at the woman. His eyes barely stayed in the sockets, his palm grew sweaty in hers. Along with the shock of his blatant stares, anger ran wild. With slow movement, she stood and towered over him. Her drink in her hand, she leaned on the edge of the table.
Emory pushed her aside to see the woman. His outward stares twisted like a knife plunged into her chest. Anger reared to replace the hurt. Disbelief of his blatant stares sent the impression of disrespect to her and the occasion they were celebrating. If he was ready to find someone new, he should tell her. Like she always heard, actions spoke louder than words and his spoke volumes. That was all she could take. With a calm hand, she placed the beverage on the table and walked out.
Emory followed her through the door. Shawnee stopped without knowing why she should listen to his excuse. This wasn’t the first time a man had out and out ignored her this way, but it would be the last, if she had to join a convent. Since he was with her, he should never have noticed any other woman in the room. All the rumors of his womanizing and carousing became known. He had only been using her until something better came along. Even if it was in the form of a long legged floozy such as the one who caught his attention.
“Why don’t you go back and ogle the woman inside.” She stomped her foot and held her fisted hands on her hips.
“That ain’t no woman. That man used to work for me as a pen rider. I can’t believe he would walk into this place knowing we would all be in there.” Emory ran his fingers through his hair.
“All the gossip of how you were a go getter, chasing women of all sorts I disregarded as nothing but rumors. Then here you go making a fool of me. Save your lies for someone else. I don’t need the heartache or the wasted effort to make this relationship work. If you’re not going to try there is no reason I should either. Now go back in and stay out of my life Emory Creek.”
“I didn’t know he was that kind of guy. I swear Shawnee that is a man. I have no desire to find out where he or any woman can take me except you.” His hands fell to his side and his shoulders dropped.
“No, you just want to see how gullible I am. Do you honestly think I would believe you? You were undressing that woman with your eyes. In front of me!” She stiffened her arms and resisted the urge to slap him.
“If you would just listen to me, I can clear this up. Come back inside and talk with some of the cowhands. They will tell you the truth. You have no reason to be jealous. I was in shock when Glenn walked into the place dressed as a woman.”
“I am still in shock you would think he or she, whatever its gender is, warranted you to shove me out of your way so you could stare at the swinging hips.”
“Like I said, Shawnee, you can choose to listen or not, I’m not interested in anyone but you. I doubt I ever will be.” Raw hurt blazed from the depths of his blue eyes. He just stood there, his broad shoulders carrying the burden. His voice, strong and husky, melted into a low plea for forgiveness.
“Let me tell you something. I’m not normally a jealous woman. I can handle the occasional glance, the hugs from old friends and even a kiss on the cheek. But for someone to shove me out of the way so they can stare at a backside is not going to go well, not now nor in the future. Do you understand? I wouldn’t do it to you, and I expect the same from you.”
“Does this mean I am forgiven?” His eyes brightened with hope.
“Are you telling me I was jealous over a man?” Shawnee’s spontaneous giggle filled the parking lot.
She turned to Emory and flashed him a smile. His blue eyes clung to hers. She shivered with the promise of heated passion when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight into his grip. His lips brushed her neck and sent a loose tendril of hair to tickle her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his thick black hair and lowered his head to take full advantage of his luscious lips. His provocative tongue invaded her mouth with sweet temptations she couldn’t push away from.
Her anger quieted, leaving her to still her own doubts. The need to believe she was the only one in his life strained with the rumors she detested. Here the seeds of evil had blossomed into suspicions of her own ability to keep the man she adored. Together, arm in arm they walked to the pickup.
His clear, observant eyes blazed with passion when she turned to him. Her breath formed a lump in her throat. His face closed in on hers, his lips brushed hers ever so lightly. He opened the door and allowed her to climb in. She leaned her head against his massive shoulder. His cell phone rang and he peeked at the caller ID then flipped it open.
“I have to go. Sorry, Shawnee; there will be another time.” Emory and his lead foot had her home in no time. She hopped out and Emory already had the pickup in reverse.
The smell of burning tires drifted with the smoke as he drove off without a word. Her sluggish steps carried her to the house. She unlocked the door and entered into the darkness. She shuddered at the emptiness and leaned against the wall a step inside the hallway. Confusion rattled her senses. How could he up and leave without any explanation?
The thought of losing him didn’t set well. The sudden death of her parents had left her clinging to those she grew close to. She experienced the same thing with Cheyenne; the need to protect her sister from another hurt as painful as death strangled the bonds formed between them. But Cheyenne had moved on to Mason.
For a week, Shawnee watched for Emory to come through the door. Each time the phone rang her heart pounded in her ears. He never called. Smitten by his disappearance, she tried to reason with herself. Her anger over the ex-employee had been a mistake she thought he understood. How was she to know it was a man? For him to get so upset over one little mistake was outrageous. He had made plenty in the last two years.
She even accepted his excuses when he was late. Forgave him for his needless yelling when he was angry with one of the cowhands and took it out on her. She made it clear the things that bothered her. Without a word or phone call, he disappeared from her life. His actions were unfair to her. How could she correct something if she didn’t know what it was she had done? Then she snapped to the call he received.
Another woman possibly to take her place. At least if she was being given the boot he could man up and tell her. He could be lying in a ditch dead somewhere. Worry wasn’t one of her fortes she cared to probe into. The longer she had to wait for word from him the angrier she grew. The way he was acting it was the end of what she thought was a good thing.
On Monday morning, Shawnee hit the alarm. She showered, braided her hair, and drove to work. The first thing on her agenda was to find out what was going on with Emory. The first person she would interrogate would be his sister.
“Where has Emory been? Haven’t seen him in a week,” Shawnee said.
“Our father had a heart attack, so he went to help mother on the ranch.” Carla raised her brow.
“He’s going to be all right, I hope?” Shawnee shook her head to Carla. She made her way around the desk and knelt in front of Carla. She tried to quell the pain that Emory hadn’t bothered to tell her the news.
“I think so. He had surgery and is out of intensive care now.” Shawnee reached up and laid a gentle hand on Carla’s arm.
“Why didn’t you go? I can handle the office.” Shawnee pushed the memory of her parents’ and brother’s deaths from her mind.
“I was there for the weekend and when dad had surgery. Emory has to feed cattle and build some fences. Dad insisted it was man’s work and sent me home.” Tears welled in Carla’s eyes. Shawnee handed her a tissue and fought against her own tears. Even with years of separation from her parents, she still missed them and hurt for Carla and Emory over the possibility they could lose him.
Shawnee walked to her office and sank into her chair. She missed sneaking peeks at Emory. Her heart went out to this family. Her fingers ran through the phone book and she dialed the number to the florist.
Why should she care where Emory was? He didn’t even both
er to take a few minutes to call her and let her know anything. He just kept on driving as if she didn’t matter at all to him. Her anger grew into a deep pain. Perhaps the worst part of it all was that she didn’t understand why. He’d just disappeared after the silly little mishap and that had been that.
Staring at the computer screen, Shawnee rose to take a break. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m walking out back to talk to Cheyenne and rest my eyes.”
“Take your time,” Carla said without looking up.
Shawnee squinted as her eyes watered in the brightness of the sun. She wiped the moisture from the corners, shielded her eyes with her hand and walked down the sloppy alley.
Cheyenne’s horse, Booger, nickered a greeting as Shawnee neared. Cheyenne’s head snapped around. “Hey, Shaw. Whatcha doing out here?”
“I thought I’d rest my eyes from the computer. The sun is harder on them than the monitor,” Shawnee glanced around the pens. “What are your plans for tonight?”
“We’re going to Mason’s parents. What about you?”
“I thought I’d invite Carla over for supper. Their dad had surgery and she could use company.”
“Emory’s supposed to be back today sometime.” Cheyenne waved a buzzing fly from her face.
That was news to her. “I better get to work.” Shawnee turned and walked back down the alley. “Watch my back, Cheyenne. I don’t want to be in the middle of a stampede.”
Hurried hooves rounded the corner in front of Shawnee. She quickly climbed the fence to let the animals pass. They kicked their heels high in the air, reminding Shawnee of kids on the last day of school. She stepped from the fence as the last one passed and continued back to the office.
The cool air hit her when she opened the door. Shawnee didn’t realize how hot it was until she stepped into the conditioned air. She turned into Carla’s office.
“How would you like to come over and have supper with me tonight, Carla?” Shawnee stood with her hands to her sides.
“That’s so sweet of you, but I have plans for tonight. Some of my friends and I are going to the movies. Would you like to go with us?” Carla’s eyes glittered with hope.
“Thanks, Carla, but I have a few friends coming over to eat.” Shawnee wasn’t in the habit of telling a lie but felt it necessary this once. She wasn’t going to disrupt Carla’s plans just because she’d be alone. Shawnee walked to the office and sat in her overstuffed chair.
“Shawnee, do you mind if I leave early today? I need time to find something to wear for the new man joining our group tonight. He’s one fine-looking man. He makes my heart sing Fly Me to the Moon.”
“Go right ahead, Carla. In the morning, I want details. Every last one, got it?” Shawnee’s face crinkled with a smile. A low giggle escaped her as she envisioned Carla acting as if she were a hormonal crazed teenager like Cheyenne did over Mason.
“Then I’m on my way out,” Carla called over the sound of the desk drawer slamming shut. “See you tomorrow.” Her footsteps faded into silence.
Shawnee relaxed in her chair. She grabbed a file and set to work. It didn’t take long to sift through the files. With her work finished, Shawnee twisted her chair to the portrait of her family hanging on the wall.
Loneliness spread deep inside her as tears stung her eyes.
Chapter Eight
There was a light tap on the door, and Shawnee shifted her head around. “Emory.” She stood in front of the chair.
He shut the door and strode across the floor. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a tight hug.
“I missed you.” His warm breath caressed her neck.
“I missed you, too.” Shawnee labored to keep her feelings to herself. She patted his back and tried to pull away. “You could have at least called and told me what was going on. I tortured myself with the possibility I ran you off from your own business.”
“I couldn’t think straight. The only thing I could think about was getting to dad before … Just let me hold you a few minutes, Shawnee.” Emory’s husky drawl held an intense, emotional urgency to which she was familiar.
Her arms wrapped around his waist. She closed her eyes to relish the moment. The closeness of his body released familiar feelings of love and security, which ran rampant through her. His fresh scent settled in her nose. His smooth cheek crossed her brow.
Shawnee’s breath caught with an empowering desire for this man who infuriated every part of her. She raised her head, and he lowered his gaze to hers. His hand rose gently to her face and caressed it with his thumb. He brushed his lips across hers.
With urgency and need to taste the freshness hidden inside, Shawnee leaned into him. She caught his face between her hands and crushed her lips to his. An extraordinary desire ran down to rest in the pit of her stomach. The ache of need rushed to the surface.
His hand traveled from her cheek down her neck. Tingles spread down her body and enticed her heart to beat wildly and her knees to go weak. She leaned into his strong frame with her hands sliding through his thick hair.
His heart thundered against her chest. Her breath labored as his eyes filled with passion. She parted his lips with her tongue to invite him in. His sweet taste coddled her with aspiration. A yearning she couldn’t control. A craving she needed to escape until she could figure out what was going on with Emory. Why hadn’t he called and let her know where he was? A wicked delight radiated only from immoral passion. She wasn’t the kind of girl to hop into bed and will the rest of the world to go away. And she wouldn’t succumb to those kinds of feelings now.
He should have shared his hurt, worry and confusion with her instead of keeping to himself while dealing with his family. She had lost her own family and needed someone to share with. The only one she had was Cheyenne who wasn’t stable enough to help her deal with the loss.
She pushed him away and pivoted to leave. She took a few steps but spun to face him again. He stood there with his hand on his hip and waited. She walked back and stood on her toes, her arms went around his neck. She pulled him closer and kissed him hard, bruising her own lips to take her fill of him.
She knew she couldn’t continue any longer. She couldn’t possibly let her guard down. He didn’t love her the way she needed. She couldn’t offer herself to him without the benefit of love and a promise of marriage.
Yet, her deep yearning for the warmth of his touch clouded her mind. She needed the security of his strong protective arms to wrap around her. His tenderness sent confused emotions she never felt. How could he hold her as if she were his world then turn around and dismiss her in times when he should be reaching out to her? He encased her soul and she knew she could never have anything more from him than a kiss.
“I have to leave. I won’t be a burden to you any longer. I’m sorry.” Her voice shook with the words. She didn’t want to know all his secrets. All she asked was to be included in his life. During the good times and bad she would be there for him if only he wanted her. With his sudden disappearance it appeared to her, she wasn’t included.
She turned and walked away with tears burning her eyes and confusion settling to the unbearable thought of not being able to stay by his side. She paused at the door and glanced back at Emory. Confusion etched on his face. A tear slid free down her cheek.
Emory ran to the door and held it closed. His brows furrowed, “Shawnee? I’m sorry if I crossed any lines. I’m not sorry for my actions. What have I done?”
“I can’t do this, Emory. It’s not right.” Shawnee lowered her head. She didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes any longer. Tightness closed around her chest as she tried to push him from her mind. His passion and pain were easily read, and now she couldn’t bear anymore.
Shawnee was ready for commitment. Emory hadn’t even professed to go a step further with her, and she needed more than what he had offered. She needed eternity, until death do us part. She wouldn’t beg for a commitment he was incapable of making. She knew it was time to let go.<
br />
Emory moved from the door twisting the knob to drag it open as he stepped back. Shawnee ran from the room, afraid she’d fall apart in front of him. She crossed the lot to her pickup and slid in. The back of her hands wiped tears, then she twisted the key in the ignition to drive from the parking lot. The drive home was a blur.
Shawnee pulled into the double-car garage and entered the house. She leaned against the door for a few moments and walked to the tiny freezer. She glanced at the frozen entrees stacked inside and slammed the door shut. Food didn’t appeal to her. One thing she could rely on was a long, overdue cry. She walked to her bedroom and fell across the bed, sobbing until tears refused to fall.
She had to leave; the job, the town, her friends, and all the familiar places they had gone. The thought twisted around like a corkscrew stuck in her heart, but it was something she had to do alone. Cheyenne would be all right since she had Mason here with her. Her sister said she understood even though she wasn’t happy with Shawnee’s decision.
The seriousness of what she had to do weighed heavily in her soul. Once again, the sobs shook her body until she could no longer hold her swollen eyes open. She slept in short spurts as the dreams of Emory taunted her at intervals. Her life turned into a shambles like a storm ravishing the land. There would be no more late night walks with him by her side. He didn’t want to be there and she wouldn’t force him.
Early the next morning, Shawnee woke before the alarm. She packed her bags and loaded them in the pickup. On the way out of town, she stopped at the convenience store for coffee and donuts. Sipping the coffee the steam warmed her face. She placed it in the cup holder. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed the donuts in the seat. When her appetite returned she would have something to hold her over until she stopped for a good meal.
Her cell phone rang and she flipped it open. One push of the button and she turned it off and tossed it on the passenger side next to the donuts. Seething, she fought the tears of rage stinging her eyes as she left her life behind. Shawnee had told everyone she was leaving, yet none of them seemed to take her at her word. Not even Cheyenne.