by Susan Kelley
“What about you?”
Joe stood, staring down at her with fierce intensity. “It would be best if no one ever finds out I shared your bed. It would lessen you in the eyes of some. I thank you for my time with you. I can die now, knowing what I fight for and with the memory that for a short time I was able to live it.”
He strode out the door before she could answer. He had a way of making exits that left her speechless.
Chapter Nineteen
“The tears Callie had held at bay since Joe walked from the room broke free as she gave her friends the details.
“We must go after them. Perhaps we can speak for them.” Riba sounded determined.
“No. They want us to stay away.” A rough sob bubbled up Callie’s throat.
“We can go to the Galactic High Court and ask them to intervene in the military decision.” Grace rubbed her hand in a gentle circle across Callie’s shoulders.
“They’ll never do it.” Jak slapped his open hand against the wall. “They’re property. They don’t have rights like you do. They would destroy them before letting them out into the civilian population.”
“Destroy?” Callie asked.
“Kill them like a game animal.”
A message alert beeped on Jak’s unit. His lined face flushed as he listened. Fury roughed his voice when he passed the news to them. “Hadrason has fled. They’re asking the military for help in locating him.”
“The coward knew things were turning against him,” Callie said.
“I’ll ask the court if they need us for any reason.” Sontu looked from face to face. “Everyone must be careful.”
Callie shivered. “Joe warned me to watch out for more trouble from Hadrason.”
“Maybe now we can convince the military to let the marines protect us,” Riba said. “We can catch up to them….”
“No.” Callie took a deep breath. “We’re going home.”
Jak nodded his agreement though he looked sad.
“Hadrason is loose,” Callie said. “Who do you think he’ll blame for his downfall? I have to make sure my people are safe. They come first, before me and before Joe.”
* * * *
Joe watched the stars zipping by as they cruised toward the space station. He didn’t think about what lay ahead, only what he’d left behind. He hadn’t slept much on the long trip, spending his resting hours daydreaming about his queen.
The stars reminded him of the gleam in her eyes when she struggled not to laugh at something he’d not understood or been confused about. The dark nothingness beyond those points of light reminded him of what the rest of his life would be like. Either the darkness of the Nye Moon mines or the bleakness of eternity as a front line soldier. Would he watch his men die one by one at his side? Unless he died first.
* * * *
“It’s over?” Joe didn’t understand.
“You’re cleared.” General Drant motioned for Joe to sit in one of the seats facing his spacious desk. Edow took the other chair. “Once Smeltz was killed, all kinds of witnesses come forward to testify to the atrocities the minister did at Hadrason’s bidding, including the killing of civilians Smeltz laid at your feet.”
“What now, sir?”
Drant fiddled with some papers on his desk. “Nothing has been decided.”
The silent regard of the two men discomforted Joe. His entire life had been ordered, decisions made for him and now he had to deal with reality by himself. He struggled to form a question, to ask for what he wanted at this moment when he sensed his future would be decided.
“Might I make a suggestion, sir?” Edow asked
“Go ahead, Captain.”
“I command a forward unit. A soldier of Joe’s experience would be invaluable to me. I often have to send in a scout team, and Joe and the others could lead them.”
A call came into Drant’s private unit. “Yes?”
“Sorry to interrupt, sir,” the disembodied voice said, “but we’ve received a request to help capture a fugitive. I knew you might be interested.”
“A civilian?”
“Geoff Hadrason, sir.”
Adrenaline surged through Joe’s body, and he half-rose from his chair.
Drant waved him down. “Do they have any leads on him?”
“Not yet, sir”
“Thank you, corporal.” Drant’s sharp gaze turned to Joe. “At ease, colonel.”
Hearing his rank designation surprised Joe. Few people knew it.
“You’re a colonel?” Edow asked.
“He is.” Drant rose and paced for a moment before speaking again. “What do think this Hadrason will do, Joe? Will he run and hide? His company owns so much territory it would take years to search. He likely has paid informants within our military and ministry. He has the money and connections to stay one step ahead of us.”
“Sir.” Joe wasn’t used to superior officers asking his opinion. “This man is a vicious, arrogant bastard. He’ll want to revenge on those who brought about his downfall.”
“On you?” Edow asked.
“Maybe, but I’m hard to get at.”
“The Queen of Giroux?” Drant smiled, but Joe detected no amusement in it. “I suppose you want to go back to Giroux and protect her?”
Joe hesitated. Of course he wanted to do just that, but he sensed the question contained a trap. Damn his difficulty catching the nuances of conversation. “I do, sir.”
Drant sighed and sat down again. He looked at Joe with a stern expression, but some softer emotion in his eyes. “Joe, do you understand the queen will be condemned by her peers if they connect her with you in any personal way.”
Joe dropped his gaze. “I need to keep her safe.”
“Sir, why don’t I cruise by Giroux on my way back to my station? We’re scheduled for a year’s deployment beyond the Gordon cluster. We’ll make sure the queen is secure and do a quick search for Hadrason.”
Joe recognized doubt on Drant’s face. “Sir, I would never bring embarrassment to the queen.”
“I don’t know if you understand how you and your men are perceived.”
“I understand, sir. I’m not a real man to many. They think me a lab creation who may have outlived its usefulness.”
“Not just that.” Drant stared hard at Joe. “If there was even the most infinitesimal chance you might breed and reproduce, introducing your genes into the population, you and your offspring would be destroyed. And the female you impregnated along with you.”
Joe’s heart stuttered in his chest. The nights he’d spent in Callie’s arms flooded his thoughts. Had he condemned her to death with his … love?
“Such a woman would at best be shamed beyond repair the same as if she’d mated with an animal.” Drant continued without mercy. “There’s only speculation about the two of you so far. It will dissipate over time when you disappear into deep space.”
“So I’m not to live as a man? I’m to give my life and blood to protect mankind yet never know the love of a woman or the wonder of a child?”
“You were created to give your life, soldier.” Drant’s voice softened, and now he was the one to drop his gaze. “Captain Edow, take these men as your scouts. Check on Giroux as you suggested and then continue to your new assignment.”
Joe stood when Edow did, a numbness settling over him. Years of fighting on alien worlds stretched before him.
“Joe.” Drant spoke as Edow opened the door. “Sometimes loving a person means sacrificing everything for them. You would give your life for her if pirates tried to take her. This is the same thing. By leaving her, you’ll be saving her.”
* * * *
Jak finished his daily report, his lips pressed into a grim line.
“What do you think it means?” Callie rubbed her eyes, not trying to hide her fatigue from her captain. How long since she’d slept through an entire night? The last night she and Joe had shared here on Giroux?
“Hadrason is on the planet,” Jak answered bluntly. �
��Why else would the miners slink away? He’s called them to join him. Many of those miners never lifted a tool. They were here as his spies. I suspect most of them are mercenaries hired to help him take over Giroux. Even though his first plan was foiled, he still has his men in place to try again.”
“Why does he think he’ll get away with a new attempt?”
Jak shook his head. “I should have paid more attention to those men and run them off.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Jak. Our people sold their mineral rights to Hadrason against my advice. The choice was theirs, though I also feel I should have seen through the situation.”
“Well, we can’t sit here mourning our past mistakes. We need to send out more scout teams and put all our flying assets in the air. We must find Hadrason and his army before they strike at us.”
“Take care of it.” Callie thought Jak looked thinner and tired. Losing Joe had hit him hard. Her captain wasn’t a young man and in a short time had come to depend on Joe’s expertise. Jak bowed and left.
Where was Joe now? On his way to prison or the front lines of a battle on some nameless distant world?
A thin film of sweat rose on Callie’s brow, signaling the arrival of the nausea she experienced every day around mid morning. She dropped her hand to her abdomen. How would the world look upon her child? As a freak of nature? As a danger?
She didn’t cry and allowed no fear to intrude. No confusion muddled her determination. Her child would grow and live as any other citizen of humanity. Someday she would tell this child of his father. A man beyond other men. And somehow she would explain how she’d failed him in the end. How she let him go so she could keep their baby safe.
* * * *
“General Drant ordered me not to leave you alone with the queen.” Edow flew the small landing craft himself. Only the two of them were going on planet.
Joe pulled his thoughts away from images of Callie. Drant’s parting words had stayed with him. “I understand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve lived longer than many of my … kind. Most of them never spoke with a civilian. Never saw a baby. Never ate a meal not prepared with a minimum of attention. They never slept in a bed covered with silk.” Thickness tightened Joe’s throat. “Never experienced the glory of a woman’s love and trust.”
Edow nodded and then looked away. But the emotion in the captain’s eyes was one Joe found himself becoming familiar with. Pity.
* * * *
Callie sat back while Jak and Edow discussed Hadrason’s men and the possible location of the mine owner. Joe added small comments here and there. She tried not to stare at him but found herself doing so anyway. Was the set of his mouth grimmer, his eyes colder?
“I should like to see your planetary imagery room, Captain Sontu,” Edow said. “I’ll see if we can link my ship’s sensors to yours so you can get a complete view of the entire planet.”
“That would really help.” Jak led Edow from the receiving room.
Joe finally looked at her. “The women and children?”
“Staying out of sight. Emer Mast and Dania Cresbol have gone missing.”
“I think you’re safe here. They probably fled when they found out how things went with Hadrason.”
Callie stepped toward Joe, but he retreated from her. “Joe?”
“I’m to go with Captain Edow into deep space.” Joe turned his back to her. “We won’t see each other again.”
Callie’s insides squeezed as if to remind her of the tiny life growing there. When Joe had arrived, she’d silently rehearsed how she would break the news to him. How would Joe react? Awe? Shock? Surely joy. “You’re my marine.”
“General Drant gave orders that I wasn’t to be alone with you, but Captain Edow has given me this opportunity to say goodbye and to thank you.”
Fury exploded through Callie. “How dare the general….”
“Callie.” Joe came to her now, placing his warm hands on her shoulders. “He’s my commanding officer. He can tell me anything he wants.”
“He can’t tell me,” she sputtered, but the burning anger died.
Joe released her shoulders and stroked her cheek with his rough hand. “Thank you for giving me this time in the real world. Thank you for treating me like a man, a man of your kind, for a little while.” He dropped his hand.
“I should be thanking you. You saved my life.”
Joe shook his head. “That’s my job just like the engineer who builds your ships. Your acceptance of me was beyond the expected.”
“I have given you nothing, Joe, only took from you. I abandoned you twice, but I won’t now.”Callie had thought she would never see him again, but now that he was here, she would keep him.
“I’m leaving with Edow. Please let me go. I don’t belong here.”
How could he say that? Jak and her soldiers accepted him, respected him. “You belong here, at my side, as my Sentinel.”
Joe ran his hand down across his face. When he looked at her again, it was as if he’d wiped all emotion from his expression with the out of character gesture. “I want to return to what I know, your highness. Life among civilians is too confusing. Goodbye.” He put a fist over his heart and then saluted. He turned smartly and strode from the room.
Tears welled and then rolled unchecked down Callie’s face. Why had she assumed Joe would want to stay with her? Why hadn’t she considered he yearned to return to his military life and what he knew? Why had she thought he returned her love?
Though disappointment choked her, she couldn’t send him away with angry thoughts. “The Spirit Father watch over you and protect you, my marine.”
* * * *
Joe pressed his fist against his chest and leaned against the wall for support. His heart felt like it might burst from his ribs and crack to pieces like a grenade. It would have been easier to never see her again. He looked at the hand that had touched her face. He clinched his fist again as if he could hold the sensation of her smooth, glowing skin forever.
He straightened from against the wall when he heard footsteps approaching.
Sontu spoke. “We’d like to keep him here.”
“Who wouldn’t,” Edow said, his voice carrying easily to Joe though the men were nowhere in sight. “He’s worth a full squad all by himself.”
“It’s not only that.” Sontu lowered his voice. “My queen has a special interest in him.”
“Hold your thoughts, sir,” Edow said sternly. “Such rumors can only hurt your queen. The marine goes with me as soon as we solve your little problem here.”
Joe stepped around the corner so the approaching men could see him.
“There you are, Joe,” Edow greeted him. “We’ve set up a relay so Captain Sontu can make use of our ship’s sensors along with his own.”
“Are you guarding the tunnel system?” Joe stopped rubbing his chest, but the pain might remain forever.
“Yes, but we’re spread thin.”
“I’ll provide some troops to supplement your ranks,” Edow offered.
“I accept. I have a number of things to see to, and I believe the queen expects you to join her for the evening meal.”
Joe led the way to the small dining room, dreading and anticipating sitting beside her.
“Do you think Hadrason will come after her even knowing we’re expecting him?” Edow asked.
“He will.” Joe had meant it when he told Callie she was safe but only if he was at her side. So he would suffer this time with Callie.
Joe pushed the door open. Callie already sat at the head of the table. One other place setting waited to her right. She looked right through him. “Captain Edow, please join me for the evening meal.”
Joe stopped, searching through his experiences for direction of what to do. He found nothing and took a step back, bumping into Edow.
“My pleasure, your highness.” Edow gave Joe one of those looks filled with pity.
Joe took another s
tep back. “I’ll check with Sontu on the placement of the reinforcements.” He escaped through the door.
This was as he wanted. He didn’t belong here. He repeated the litany to himself as he wandered the halls that had been his home for a few short days.
* * * *
“You’ve not touched your applenut pastry, your highness. It may be the most delicious dish I’ve had in the past year.”
Callie attempted a smile for the captain. He’d been so gentle and kind during the horrid meal. What had prompted her to embarrass Joe like that? Childish pique? Self protection? “I’m quite full, captain.”
“Don’t worry about Hadrason. The planet is only so big. If he’s here, we’ll have him soon.”
“I have complete confidence.” Callie poked the pastry, remembering a night in the desert when Joe had brought some of the sweet fruit as a treat.
“He can’t stay, your highness. It will only bring you problems and disaster for him. Already the rest of his men are being flown here to join us on our mission to deep space.”
It didn’t surprise Callie that Edow knew the real reason for her mood. She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice. “The world is advanced enough to create him, but not to accept what they’ve made.”
“This isn’t his world. Let him go for both your sakes. And make it as painless as possible.”
“I know not including him this evening may appear childish, but I couldn’t sit with him here tonight.”
“I imagine it would have been equally uncomfortable for him.”
Callie gathered the tatters of her pride. “I appreciate your help, captain. The sooner we catch Hadrason, the sooner we can all go on with our lives.”
* * * *
Had she dozed off? Callie rolled onto her back, knowing sleep would not come to her again. Joe consumed her thoughts. The way he moved, the way he concentrated on her every word as if she spoke in an alien tongue. The way he made her feel like the center of the universe.
How much of the confidence she’d gained as a ruler resulted from Joe’s presence in her life? She’d faced death with him more than once, and they’d triumphed.
A small sound startled her out of her reverie. Her heart slammed against her ribs and she held her breath. Nothing. Sparse moonlight filtered in through her laced-covered windows. Her armoire threw a large black shadow toward the door. Too large. It shifted. Her chest burned with the need to exhale, but terror paralyzed her.