by Yvonne Heidt
“I see a woman that looks like me.”
“Tanna. We were six when we met and grew up together along the shores of the river in a place known as Sanctuary run by the elders and priestesses of the Goddess Danu. We were inseparable and never spent a day apart.”
“The women you captured in your mural look to be in their early twenties. That’s a lot of memories to hold of someone.”
“I have years of journals that I wrote about those. It’s what I’m basing my novel on, my life with you.”
“Do you remember the last dream you had of this place?”
“Vividly.” Kat backed away from the wall until she sat on the bed. Tiffany followed and held her hand. “I was nineteen. I had foolishly thought if they stopped, it meant that you were near, and I would meet you in this life. You, I mean Tanna, died in my arms. That was the last time I saw you, her.”
“That makes me sad, because it’s so unfair.”
“How is it unfair? I loved you.”
“I’m not Tanna. I don’t have her memories of you. I am me—here and now. You can’t expect me to just fall in line, to live in the past with you, or to fall in love with you simply because I’m supposed to. That doesn’t give me any say in it at all.”
“Let me finish,” Kat said. “That’s how it was when we first met. Since I’ve spent time with you, worked with you, touched you, I don’t see Tanna anymore when I look at you. I see you―Tiffany.”
“I want to believe you, I really do. But right now, I’m going to ask you for more time. I don’t want to have to wonder if you’re seeing her when you look at me.”
“But I just told—”
Tiffany held up a hand. “I have to feel it, Kat. I have to know without a doubt that I’m not a stand-in or substitute for her. I don’t want to compete against her memory.” She pointed to Tanna.
Sorrow dropped onto Kat’s shoulders and chest like a rock. She’d wanted nothing more than to share the whole story with Tiffany, but before she’d barely started, she’d taken two steps back. “I’m asking for a chance.”
Tiffany cupped Kat’s face with her palms. “Until I sort all of this out, and get through the nightmare going on with my ex-husband, we’ll have to not do this anymore.” She kissed Kat on the lips gently before she stood.
Kat reached to draw her back for another one when the intercom buzzed. Kat sighed. “What is it with the timing of the pizza deliveries?”
“Again?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else on such short notice.”
“I love it. So will Angel.”
Yes, but will you both love me?
Chapter Twelve
They had all gone to bed early after dinner, but Tiffany lay awake next to Angel, who was cuddling the kitten between them. Her mind raced and she wasn’t having any success with meditating.
She was livid. Anger at the situation she was in boiled inside her, festering in her spirit. Tiffany was going to have to get out of the bed. She didn’t want to poison the room Angel was sleeping in with her negative energy.
She threw a robe over her pajamas on her way out. Maybe sitting on the deck for a while would help. She tiptoed down the hall and realized she didn’t even know if Kat was a sound sleeper. She would have to be extra quiet just in case.
Kat had left a small lamp on in the living room, but Tiffany wouldn’t have needed it. Seattle’s nighttime skyline was spread before her outside the wall-sized windows.
It was a stunning view for a sanctuary. She paused and wondered how long she’d be a prisoner in a glass cage. That she even thought of Kat’s beautiful place as a jail ticked her off. It had taken years for her to feel safe, and months of counseling to learn her own worth. How dare he come back and terrorize her?
She slipped out the sliding doors then walked to the railing. She looked over the side and wondered if he were looking up. She wouldn’t have been able to see him anyway. Was he down there plotting how he was going to kill her? Worse, was he planning on hurting her family? Her instincts told her that it was Mark who planned the attack on Shade. He would have known that she was the greatest threat.
Hell no! It was her naiveté and choices that put them all in this position. This fight was between her and Mark.
Tiffany opened her arms to the wind and began to draw on strength she hadn’t known she possessed. Power began to surge through her body until she was nearly trembling with the force. The moon was full and bright above her, and she prayed for strength and courage. Several minutes later, she relaxed her arms and knew she’d made her decision.
She was going to put a stop to this.
Alone.
With her mind made up, she went inside to the kitchen counter where she’d left her phone with the sound turned off. Twenty-two missed calls. Bastard. Now that he knew they were aware of him, he’d stopped any pretense of secrecy. He was flat-out in the open and full of blatant arrogance.
She would have to be very careful. She wouldn’t be able to talk to Sunny, Shade, or Aura because they would immediately know she was up to something. Kat probably wouldn’t let her out of the house because she would want to protect her.
If anything happened to Tiffany, her chosen sisters would raise Angel. There was already an airtight will and custody agreement in place. Grief stabbed her heart, and her resolve wavered. She didn’t want to leave her beautiful baby. She tried to tell herself they would find each other again in the next life, as they clearly had in this one, but that was small comfort.
If she didn’t force a resolution, he would never give up, and he would always be a threat to Angel and the others she loved.
She recalled Kat’s story and the emotional pain she’d felt when Tanna died. Tiffany was so damn sorry she didn’t feel their connection in the past. She did care deeply for Kat and wished they’d had more time together. She had no doubt that those pieces would eventually have fallen into place, and they’d have been happy together.
Tiffany realized she was thinking of herself in past tense, and although it disturbed her, she wasn’t going to change her mind. Besides, she didn’t plan on losing. She reached into her Mary Poppins bag and felt around for the secret compartment that held her insurance. Tiffany abhorred violence, but after Angel was born, she’d bought the .22 pistol for protection. Maybe it was because she subconsciously knew it would come down to this one day. Satisfied with her decision, she pulled out a notepad and began writing letters to her family.
Just in case.
When she was done, she glanced at the clock. It was only ten p.m. She reached for her phone, and it vibrated in her hand before she could redial the number she now knew by heart.
“Mark.”
“Coming to your senses? Can’t hide up there forever. You know that.”
“Oh, I’m done hiding.” Tiffany took a deep breath. “Here are my terms.”
“You’re not in any position to negotiate, bitch. Get your ass down here.”
Fear began trying to crawl up her spine before she shut it down. It was nothing more than a reflex. “How long do you think you can wait out there? Days, months? Because I have everything I need in here. You can’t keep watch forever.” She echoed his words back to him.
“I’ll stay as long as it takes, and in the meantime, I’m going after everyone that’s helping you. I’m going to make your life a living hell.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Here’s the deal,” Tiffany said. “I’ll meet you somewhere, but you leave my family out of this.” She didn’t really believe he’d leave them alone if she left with him. But she also knew he was full of rage and wanted to get his hands on her. He would agree to her terms for that reason alone. If he killed her, then he’d go back to prison. If she killed him, she would be free to live her life. Either way it went, there would be resolution and Angel would be safe.
“So if I agree to leave the bitches alone, you’ll come out?”
“Yes.” Tiffany heard a door open down the hall. She relayed the address
and time into the phone and disconnected. She quickly put the notebook away and turned to see who was coming.
*
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Kat asked. She opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of water.
Tiffany shook her head. “Come here for a minute.” Tiffany wrapped her arms around Kat’s waist. “I have something to tell you.” Kat’s heart thundered beneath Tiffany’s cheek.
“Mmm?”
“I don’t want to be just your friend.” Tiffany kept her eyes open and stretched to lay her lips against Kat’s.
Kat’s eyes held secrets and hints of power. Tiffany felt it ripple against her skin like a caress and shivered while a fire lit deep within her. She felt both wonderful and desperate at once. She pulled her closer and her tongue entered her mouth, stroking with heated passion until Tiffany moaned with the sheer pleasure of it. Kat broke the contact. “Are you sure?”
Tiffany nodded because she didn’t feel as if she could speak. She had a moment of awe, realizing how much Kat had been withholding for her sake.
“Thank God.” Kat took Tiffany’s hand to lead her down the hall, into her bedroom. Tiffany stopped by the bed while Kat continued to the window to draw the drapes.
“No,” Tiffany said. “Love me in the moonlight.” She pulled her shirt over her head, lowered her pajama pants, and stood in the soft glow wearing only her bra and panties.
Kat’s eyes narrowed. Tiffany watched her breathing increase and the deep sigh coming from her made Tiffany feel sexy and powerful. She reached behind her to unclasp her bra and let it slide down her arms to the floor. The cool air and Kat’s gaze hardened her nipples into sharp, aching points.
Kat kept eye contact with her as she undressed on her way back to the bed. Tiffany knew Kat had a slamming body, but when she was naked, she was magnificent. Her lean muscles transitioned into soft curves. Tiffany’s body grew hot, and she felt wet desire on her thighs. Her knees were weak, and she turned to crawl onto the bed. Just as she got on her hands and knees, one of Kat’s hands splayed across her lower back and pinned her while the other pulled her panties down to her ankles in one quick motion. Hot lips kissed her tailbone before Tiffany moved to the center of the bed and turned over. She wanted to see every inch of Kat.
For one endless moment, Kat held herself above her, watching her face. The moon was framed behind her and their breath mixed, while their hearts beat in tandem.
Then Kat’s hand was in Tiffany’s hair, sweeping it to the side before she pressed her lips against the pulse in her throat and sighed. That last gesture tripped Tiffany’s heart. There was nothing between them but skin, yet Tiffany wanted to be closer still. The emotion took her to a place she’d never been before, but knew she’d never want to leave. A tiny voice inside her told her it was selfish for her to make love with Kat knowing she might not come back. But was it so wrong that she wanted this moment and this experience to take with her? Couldn’t she want something for herself, just once?
When Kat’s hand molded to her breast, all thoughts and questions flew away. She cupped her softly, reverently, while she came back to Tiffany’s mouth. Softly at first, then increasingly urgently, she nipped at her lip before sliding her tongue along Tiffany’s. Kat’s hips rocked against her own, and Tiffany began to tremble with need. When Kat bent down to lick her nipples, Tiffany cried out and increased the pace.
“You like that,” Kat whispered.
“Yes.” Kat’s sucking motion nearly put Tiffany over the edge. The sensation traveled straight down between her legs and returned in waves. “Don’t stop.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what you want.”
“You,” Tiffany said, “I want you.”
“You have that already.” Kat’s hand slid along her side, then between her thighs to cup her sex. Tiffany could feel the thunder of her pulse beat against Kat’s palm as she rose to meet it. Kat increased the pressure until Tiffany thought she might burst, reaching higher and faster until she felt frantic with the need to keep riding the crest until she reached it.
“That’s it, baby. It’s mine, give it to me and fly.” Kat’s demands whispered softly against her lips. Tiffany drew her tongue into her mouth, suckled it.
Tiffany’s sighs increased until the sound was a continuous sound for release. Nothing else mattered; nothing else existed but that primal pounding between her legs. Liquid pooled beneath her on the slick sheets, but it wasn’t nearly enough. This wanting felt desperate and urgent.
Kat entered her with long, slender fingers and stroked in time with Tiffany’s hips. Higher and higher she flew until her body stiffened, her legs straightened, her toes curled almost painfully. Her fingers dug into Kat’s shoulder and she gasped for breath as her orgasm swept through her, body and soul.
“I can’t breathe. Oh God, I can’t breathe.”
“Ssh. I got you. I’m here.” Kat stroked her hair. “I’m right here.”
Tiffany’s eyes closed and her heart thundered in her ears. Gradually, she became aware of Kat’s gentle motion. She moved slowly and lightly against Tiffany’s thigh. She was still holding back. That she was so considerate of Tiffany’s feelings made the guilt resurface.
“Kat,” Tiffany said. “I won’t break.” She drew up on an elbow to look at her face, and found caged lust burning in her eyes. “Get on your back.”
Tiffany straddled Kat’s stomach. She inched her body down until she felt soft curls between her thighs, and then she gripped Kat’s hips and ground her clit against Kat’s soft flesh. Kat’s fingers dug into her ass, taking control of the motion.
“Yes,” Kat said, the word drawing out into a long hiss. “Ride me, Tiffany.” Kat’s hands came up to Tiffany’s breasts and pinched her nipples. The sensation sent shock waves from the top of her head to her toes and she leaned over, offering them to Kat’s mouth.
Tiffany’s long hair curtained Kat’s face, creating a private cocoon where only they existed. Where they depended on each other’s breath for life, where they were one with each other and the universe.
The look on Kat’s face went straight to Tiffany’s heart. The love she saw mirrored there tripped her pulse. She slid further down Kat’s body. Her fingers trailed down Kat’s tight stomach muscles, registering the strength behind the soft, silky skin. “Open your legs for me.”
Kat immediately obeyed and never took her eyes off Tiffany’s. That this strong woman yielded herself so willingly humbled her. She was completely vulnerable and trusting. It was a heady feeling.
“Inside me. I need you inside me.”
Kat’s sex was swollen and slick and she began to tremble under her.
“Please. Tiffany, please.”
Tiffany entered her with two fingers and felt Kat tighten against them, drawing her deeper. She thrust slowly, allowing Kat to set the pace. “Like this?”
“Just like that. I love you inside me.”
A surge of protectiveness washed over Tiffany, along with fierce possessiveness. She had no idea where the feelings came from, but she acknowledged the truth that the revelation brought her.
She’d never been so aggressive in her life. It felt good, this righteous strength, this need to take Kat and make her writhe in passion. She began thrusting firmer and deeper, watching her face. “Give it to me, it’s mine.” She mirrored Kat’s own demands back to her in a whisper. “Come for me under the moonlight.”
“I’m yours,” Kat said. “I’ve always been yours.”
Tiffany kissed her, her gentle lips a direct contrast to her firm thrusting. She straddled one of Kat’s thighs and matched her rhythm. Her stomach muscles contracted with each whisper and sigh.
Kat’s orgasm shook Tiffany to the core. The tenderness in her arms as she held and kissed her moved her deeply. Her throat closed with emotion. But she couldn’t decipher whether they were from unrepressed joy, or the guilt of betrayal from what she was about to do.
Kat ran her thumb along Tiffany’s lower lip. “I’ve dreamt of
you for so long, I know how you taste. And yet, the memory can’t compare with how you feel right now, right this very moment.”
“I’m overwhelmed with it.” Tiffany kissed her softly and then got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Kat asked. “Stay here with me.”
“I have to use the bathroom, and then check on Angel.” Tiffany tucked the sheet up around her. “I’ll be back.”
“Okay.” Kat turned back onto her side. “I’ll be waiting.”
When Tiffany came back to check on her fifteen minutes later, she was sound asleep. She quietly closed the door.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “That I didn’t have more time to love you. We would have been amazing together.” She hoped that if something bad happened, Kat would find her again in another life.
*
Tiffany stopped outside Angel’s door. She could not—would not—go back in. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to bear the grief of leaving.
She stopped in the kitchen to turn off Kat’s phone in case Aura, Sunny, or Shade called to warn her. They didn’t always see what was coming, but she wanted a head start. Tiffany took out the small pistol from her bag and put it in her coat pocket. She also grabbed a baseball cap to cover her hair, and she was ready.
Stepping out the front door was excruciating. She had every intention of making it back, but prepared herself for the worst.
She laid her hand against the outside of the door. “Good-bye, my loves.”
Tiffany made her way to the elevator. After sending her senses into the dark, she slipped out the side exit of the building, keeping to the shadows. She kept herself close to a small group of people walking out of a restaurant and hoped she blended in. When she’d made it six blocks or so, she hailed a taxi.
Tiffany had the driver drop her off three blocks from her destination and made it to the meeting place a full two hours before the scheduled time. She’d picked this spot because she knew a little bit about the area, having lived there with Mark when she was married to him. She hoped the small neighborhood park was still there, since she hadn’t been here in almost five years.