Jordan’s head shot up from his menu, surprised at once, but he said nothing. Oops, she’d forgotten. Jaynee didn’t drink anymore. Something about Jordan not wanting to drink because he didn’t want to drink in front of the kids.
“On second thought,” she interrupted Jordan ordering sweet tea. Only in North Carolina would a French restaurant serve sweet tea. She laughed quietly to herself, remembering her first conversation with Jordan about the southern staple. The waiter was looking at her now, as was Jordan. They were both waiting. “Oh…I’ll have a Diet Coke instead. No lemon.”
Jordan let out a long huff. It wasn’t a sigh or laugh, but somewhere in between. “Jaynee, what is up with you? You’re acting so peculiar.”
“I am?” She tried to appear shocked by his statement.
“Uh…yes, you are. From the moment I picked you up at the airport. Is there something I should know?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she responded a little too sharply.
“Never mind.” He dropped his head to look at his menu. His brow furrowed, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly. Clearly, he was attempting to have a nice date with his wife, and her actions confused him; he had every right to feel bewildered. She hadn’t even remembered the name of the restaurant of a special occasion. Of course he was distressed.
She reached across the table and stroked the back of his hand. A prickle of energy traveled up her arm as she ran her fingers across his tanned skin. “I’m sorry. I guess I am out of sorts. I’m sick, remember? I feel a little delirious; it’s been a long week.”
“Wanna just go, then?”
“No, no… I am hungry.”
He laughed. “I don’t think they have pizza on the menu.”
Yep. Jaynee and she were still the same. They both could eat pizza practically every night. “We could always order pizza for dinner,” she suggested.
“Sounds like a plan.” He turned his hand over hers and squeezed lightly. “I missed you, Jaynee.” His steel-blue eyes gazed at her. She had to guess he was talking about more than just the last few days.
***
An hour and a half of simple chitchat and feeling satisfied but not overly stuffed, they walked toward the exit. After a quick text check-in with Jaynee in the ladies’ room, Jordan and she left the restaurant arm and arm.
It was still early, though. She wasn’t sure how they could pass the time, but she really didn’t want to go to the house yet, not without the kids. He held open her door as before and helped her into the cab. Obviously, she could handle getting in on her own, but it seemed as if this was normal, so she waited patiently.
As soon as he jumped up onto the driver’s seat, he turned to her. “Why do I feel as if we’re on our first date and I’m wondering how to go about inviting you back to my place?”
She laughed, remembering their first date, but then suddenly got that uneasy empty-pit sensation in her stomach; Jordan was too perceptive. She decided the best defense would be to tease him. “You wouldn’t have invited me back to your place on our first date.”
He bobbed his head, a short burst of laughter escaping his mouth as though he hadn’t thought about that in years. He dipped his head, gazing intently into her eyes. “True, but I’d invite myself to yours on the second, though.”
He flashed a wink, then put the keys in the ignition. He was such a ham, but she distinctly remembered he hadn’t been so fresh eighteen years ago. If he had, who knows…maybe her side of Caycee Jaynee wouldn’t have been able to leave him.
If his kisses were any indication—she snapped her thoughts away from that notion. She couldn’t go there, but…she could tease him some more about it, since it now irritated her that Jaynee had gotten to have all the fun.
“But you still wouldn’t have touched me,” she reminded him.
He laughed harder this time, then rested his hand on her knee. Squeezing it softly, he sent a pang of longing through her system she had no business feeling. Jordan put the truck in gear and pulled out of the parking spot.
He peeked over at her as he waited to pull onto the road. “And now I can’t keep my hands off you.”
While her emotions thrashed about inside her body, he seemed comforted by their conversation. Instinctively, he knew something was wrong, and yet, he was having a conversation with his wife about their first few dates. He couldn’t possibly imagine she wasn’t the same woman he’d been married to for eighteen years. Who would?
“So, what would you like to do now?” he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. “We still have a few hours before we pick up the kids. We could go back to the house, walk down to the river. It’s a pretty nice day.”
“Sounds perfect.” An afternoon outside was definitely safer than an afternoon in an empty house. Jaynee had explained the layout of their property and home several times so she wouldn’t have to ask where things were located.
She’d told her about their little clubhouse Jordan had built years ago and how they would hike down to the Rocky River and simply relax in lawn chairs. They also kayaked when the river wasn’t too wild. Right now was the dry season; rain was minimal, so the level would allow for an easy paddle. Jaynee had warned her that kayaking was one of Jordan’s favorite pastimes; though, he had many hobbies, it seemed.
He liked to rock climb, hike, ride motorbikes, parachute…you name it, and yet, he would take her to French restaurants. How was the man real? Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe she was still dreaming in New York. Certainly, she’d wake up at any moment, realizing the last few weeks had been nothing but a dream, wish fulfillment over her tiresomely boring life.
Jordan spent most of the ride talking about the kids and their days together. He hadn't only missed Jaynee’s company, he’d missed her as a wife and mother. He’d repeated several times, “I don’t know how you manage?” He squeezed his arm around her shoulders, and they traveled most of the distance in silence.
They’d been off the highway for about fifteen minutes and still had not reached the house. Finally, he turned onto a gravel road with a dead-end sign. Her heart quickened. Soon she would be in their house—Jaynee’s house, she corrected herself.
They drove for another couple of minutes, then he pulled in between two brick pillars onto a driveway that ended at a beautiful Victorian house. A wraparound porch surrounded the entire front and left side of the house. On the right side was an attached three-car garage, and across the green manicured lawn was a stable. No horses were out to pasture, and she’d forgotten to ask Jaynee if they had any.
Caycee waited as Jordan walked around the front of the truck, then opened her door, helping her exit the cab. He released her long enough to pull her luggage out of the backseat.
Lifting her carry-on piece, she started toward the door before he could object; it was nonsense that she couldn’t carry anything. When he opened the front door, she proceeded to step through.
“Jaynee?” His voice held a question. She turned and noticed him kicking off his shoes.
Dang… Jaynee had warned her…the North Carolina red clay. Her shoes didn’t look dirty. Still, she guessed they were simply in the habit of never walking in the house with shoes. She wondered if it was Jordan’s rule or Jaynee’s.
“Oops…been in New York…the concrete jungle. I forgot.” She hooked her shoes off the back of her ankles and held them in her hand. Certainly, she wouldn’t leave these shoes at the front door. Jaynee had been wearing a pair of Crocs around the hotel. She’d fish them out as soon as she went upstairs to unpack. She hoped Jordan would leave her long enough for her to figure out where everything went.
She stood in the foyer for a moment, waiting for Jordan to lead the way.
He dropped her luggage at the foot of the stairs, then gently tugged her to the loveseat off the formal entry. “The river isn’t going anywhere. Come here.”
He drew her onto his lap on the suede sofa. There was no fighting his embrace, and if she tried, he wouldn’t understand. Placing hi
s large hands on both sides of her face, he stared into her eyes. Then his lips pressed softly against hers. Feeling guilty, she closed her eyes, but then reveled in the sensation of his mouth on hers. His lips were so familiar, as if she’d never left him, as if she’d never made the stupid decision to disappear from him—from everyone in her life.
She gave into his kiss, feeling his hands brush her hair off her shoulders, then move around to the back of her neck to pull her even closer. She felt the wetness on her cheeks; she hadn’t realized that tears had escaped.
Jordan suddenly pulled back, his eyes intense. “You’re crying? Jaynee, why are you crying?”
Her head dropped, she couldn’t look at his steel-blue eyes, certain he could see right through her.
Putting his hand under her chin, he nudged up her head so she had to look at him. “Talk to me, please. I don’t understand. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
She shook her head. How could she explain this to him? She couldn’t. He’d hate her, and then he’d hate Jaynee. She could get through the one night; she didn’t need more than a night to know she’d made a mistake. She didn’t need more than a few hours to know she’d been wrong.
Thankfully, only a part of her had been wrong. Jaynee had chosen correctly; she’d decided on a life with Jordan. While she, Caycee, she was Caycee, not Jaynee, had chosen to leave. Jordan didn’t belong to her, and she was wrong to have forced Jaynee to do this. She’d find some alone time to call her this evening or in the morning. She’d pick her up from the airport tomorrow, and Jaynee would come home to her house, her life, her family—her husband.
Tears snaked aimlessly down her cheeks. She saw no way to impede them, and yet, she had to control them.
Jordan’s facial muscles tightened as if utterly confused, but not knowing what to do. “Jaynee, you said it wasn’t me…that you were depressed, but it wasn’t me. And yet, every time I’ve touched you today, you seem distant. What am I supposed to think when I kiss you and you cry?”
“I swear to you, Jordan,” she pleaded, struggling for the right words. The words that were nothing but the truth…“I love you.” It was the truth, she realized. The reason she’d never been able to be close to any other man. He’d changed her completely from the first time she’d met him. She’d known she loved him from their first date. “I’m just confused.” Again, the words were true. “Not about you, but my life. I feel strange inside…” As if she were two people, she thought forlornly. “I wish I could explain it. Being here with you is all I want. I was crying because I missed you when I was gone, and yet, I left and don’t even know why.”
His head tilted, his eyes narrowing imperceptibly. “You had to go, Jaynee. You were doing a book signing. I understand that. You did go to New York for a book signing, didn’t you?” he asked, his eyes suddenly suspicious as he glowered at her.
His cop mentality was on detective mode now. Jaynee had warned her about his ability. Evidently, he could tell a lie from a mile away. The kids couldn’t get away with anything, no matter how trivial. He could pull a confession out of the most hardened criminal, she’d explained. They were clearly no match for his talents. Caycee had told him nothing but the truth, though; he wouldn’t be able to find a trace of insincerity in her words.
“Yes, yes,” she answered at once. “Of course I did the signing. I’m not sure what is going on, but, Jordan…” She took his face in her hands now. His eyes were wary as he scrutinized her. “I swear to you. You need to know, no matter what, I love you. I’ve always loved you and will always love you.”
“No matter what?” It was a question, not a statement.
Damn. He noticed everything. She sighed heavily. “Jordan, please…” She stopped trying to explain. Instead, she kissed him. She didn’t hold back this time. She gave him everything she had, everything she’d kept bottled up for the last eighteen years. She promised herself she was only doing this to convince him, to assure him of her love so she wouldn’t put any strains on their marriage.
He withdrew first, a smile lighting his face. “That’s more like it. And I’m sorry, Jaynee, I don’t mean to push you. You know how insecure I can get. I just want you to be happy. It kills me to see you despondent, especially if I have anything to do with it. Come on; let’s go to our clubhouse. We have about an hour or so before we have to get the kids. It’s so rare we have time alone.” Standing up, he took her hand, leading her out the back door.
As soon as Jordan opened the patio door, Brownie came running across the backyard, soaring up the steps, stopping dead in her tracks. She sniffed only for a second and then decided Caycee was okay. She must have done something differently that had alerted the boxer, but the pup had resolved to the same opinion Jordan had. She looked and smelled like Jaynee; she must be Jaynee.
Jordan slipped into a pair of Crocs on the deck, and Jaynee slid into the ones next to his, hoping they were the correct ones. They fit perfectly, but several others also could have fit. Evidently, her twelve-year-old daughter wore the same shoe size. Jordan took her hand, not seeming to notice her preoccupation; thankfully, she’d done something right.
Leading her across the lawn, he exited through a gate at the rear of the property where the grass met the trees. The landscape sloped downward, and she could almost make out the water from the top of the knoll.
What a lovely home, she thought, and she hadn’t even seen all of it. Jordan hadn’t thought she needed a tour; she should know her own house. She had to step carefully; the hill was steep and the clay slightly mushy. This part of their property evidently didn’t receive much sunlight because of all the trees, and the moisture from the river must keep the area damp. She almost slipped twice, but Jordan caught her both times before she fell.
Once at the bottom, he went to the padlock and opened the small cabin. She was extremely grateful he hadn’t asked her to open it; Jaynee hadn’t thought to give her the combination.
Pulling out a large blanket, he laid it out near the riverbank. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Maybe this wasn’t such a brilliant idea either.
“Are you thirsty? Want a Diet Coke, water…” he trailed off, shaking his head, but a smile lifted one side of his face. “Sorry, no chardonnay. By the way, what was that all about? Since when have you started drinking wine at lunch?”
So it wasn’t that she never drank…just not at lunch? “I haven’t. I’ve just been hanging out with Crystal… I guess she rubbed off on me.” She cringed, praying he didn’t notice, hoping Crystal drank. Most agents drank… It was a safe bet. “I was just nervous…I guess because it was our first date.”
Her comment had worked. He released a wonderful laugh. “You too, huh? Maybe you need to go away more often—scratch that,” he amended. “I’d rather be comfortable and familiar.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “I don’t need new.” He directed her onto the blanket, lowering himself over her.
“Jordan…” she whispered, subtly reminding him that she was off-limits. Had he forgotten already? She wanted to forget. Just the heat of his body above hers made her want to grab him and pull him on top of her.
“I know,” he said, sighing. “We can still fool around.”
Now she was confused. A man who wanted to play around, knowing nothing was going to happen…and after eighteen years of marriage. How in the world was she ever going to find another man like him?
A wave of despair washed over her, but she dispelled it quickly. She couldn’t let Jordan see her break down again. She only had to endure this for a little while. They would get the kids, eat pizza, watch a movie, and then tomorrow, she would leave.
Tomorrow, she could cry all she wanted.
Chapter Sixteen
(Jaynee)
“Finally.” Jaynee sighed. She was happy to receive the text all was okay, but secretly, she kind of hoped Jordan would know immediately, that he would call their jig.
She knew Caycee was identical in every way, looks and v
oice. But certainly, when he kissed her, when he held her in his arms at the airport, he would know… Wouldn’t he? They wouldn’t be able to have the same conversations. She would be ignorant of many personal situations and would therefore have to watch what she said.
It was absurd to want Jordan to figure it out, what would he think if he did? Would he think she’d wanted to live on her own? Experience a different life? She didn’t. She didn’t want any of it, but she felt as if she owed Caycee. She thought that if she could prove to Caycee she would have been happier choosing husband and family over popularity that she would turn around her life. It wasn’t too late; it was never too late. Caycee could still have what Jaynee had, if she really wanted it. She just couldn’t have Jordan. Jaynee would never stand for it. She would kill her first.
The thought made Jaynee blanch. Where had that notion come from? Could she really kill someone who tried to take over her life? She remembered how calmly she’d reacted to Lorraine, the woman who had been in love with Jordan for years. Lorraine had attempted to seduce Jordan, and yet, Jaynee and she had become great friends in the end, after she married Jordan’s best friend, that is.
The major difference was Jordan wasn’t in love with other women. He only loved her, but now he would love Caycee, too. Was it possible he’d like Caycee more? What if Caycee didn’t maintain her end of the bargain? What if all of a sudden she wasn’t unavailable anymore? What had she done? She’d have to call Caycee tomorrow when Jordan and the kids were gone. Caycee would have to come back; that was all there was to it. She’d force her, show up at the house. Jordan would forgive her. He’d understand when he had all the facts.
Jaynee ordered pizza for dinner. She didn’t intend to leave the apartment tonight or any other night. She would try to reach Caycee tomorrow morning and see how it was going; hopefully Caycee would bomb and would be just as happy to get out of there.
She wished she could have somehow asked Jeremy to be on his worst behavior. No one could handle Jeremy like she could, not even Jordan. Though all the children acted as if they loved him the best, he ruled them firmly, never giving in once he laid down the law.
Split Decisions: A Southern Romantic-Suspense Novel - Charlotte - Book Two Page 12