by Zane Grey
After breakfast we set out for home. Our pack transferred to one of the little mules, we rode “Jeems,” and Mr. Parker rode the other mule. He took us another way, down cañon after cañon, so that we were able to ride all the time and could make better speed. We came down out of the snow and camped within twelve miles of home in an old, deserted ranch house. We had grouse and sage chicken for supper. I was so anxious to get home that I could hardly sleep, but at last I did and was only awakened by the odor of coffee, and barely had time to wash before Zebulon Pike called breakfast. Afterwards we fixed “Jeems’s” pack so that I could still ride, for Zebulon Pike was very anxious to get back to his “critters.”
Poor, lonely, childlike little man! He tried to tell me how glad he had been to entertain me. “Why,” he said, “I was plumb glad to see you and right sorry to have you go. Why, I would jist as soon talk to you as to a negro. Yes’m, I would. It has been almost as good as talking to old Aunt Dilsey.” If a Yankee had said the same to me I would have demanded instant apology, but I know how the Southern heart longs for the dear, kindly old negroes, so I came on homeward, thankful for the first time that I can’t talk correctly.
I got home at twelve and found, to my joy, that none of the men had returned, so I am safe from their superiority for a while, at least.
With many apologies for this outrageous letter, I am
Your ex-Washlady,
Elinore Rupert.
CHAPTER V
SEDALIA AND REGALIA
November 22, 1909.
My dear Friend,—
I was dreadfully afraid that my last letter was too much for you and now I feel plumb guilty. I really don’t know how to write you, for I have to write so much to say so little, and now that my last letter made you sick I almost wish so many things didn’t happen to me, for I always want to tell you. Many things have happened since I last wrote, and Zebulon Pike is not done for by any means, but I guess I will tell you my newest experience.
I am making a wedding dress. Don’t grin; it isn’t mine,—worse luck! But I must begin at the beginning. Just after I wrote you before, there came a terrific storm which made me appreciate indoor coziness, but as only Baby and I were at home I expected to be very lonely. The snow was just whirling when I saw some one pass the window. I opened the door and in came the dumpiest little woman and two daughters. She asked me if I was “Mis’ Rupit.” I told her that she had almost guessed it, and then she introduced herself. She said she was “Mis’ Lane,” that she had heard there was a new stranger in the country, so she had brought her twin girls, Sedalia and Regalia, to be neighborly. While they were taking off their many coats and wraps it came out that they were from Linwood, thirty miles away. I was powerful glad I had a pot roast and some baked beans.
After we had put the horses in the barn we had dinner and I heard the story of the girls’ odd names. The mother is one of those “comfy,” fat little women who remain happy and bubbling with fun in spite of hard knocks. I had already fallen in love with Regalia, she is so jolly and unaffected, so fat and so plain. Sedalia has a veneer of most uncomfortable refinement. She was shocked because Gale ate all the roast she wanted, and if I had been very sensitive I would have been in tears, because I ate a helping more than Gale did.
But about the names. It seemed that “Mis’ Lane” married quite young, was an orphan, and had no one to tell her things she should have known. She lived in Missouri, but about a year after her marriage the young couple started overland for the West. It was in November, and one night when they had reached the plains a real blue blizzard struck them. “Mis’ Lane” had been in pain all day and soon she knew what was the matter. They were alone and it was a day’s travel back to the last house. The team had given out and the wind and sleet were seeing which could do the most meanness. At last the poor man got a fire started and a wagon sheet stretched in such a manner that it kept off the sleet. He fixed a bed under the poor shelter and did all he could to keep the fire from blowing away, and there, a few hours later, a little girl baby was born. They melted sleet in the frying-pan to get water to wash it. “Mis’ Lane” kept feeling no better fast, and about the time they got the poor baby dressed a second little one came.
That she told me herself is proof she didn’t die, I guess, but it is right hard to believe she didn’t. Luckily the fire lasted until the babies were dressed and the mother began to feel better, for there was no wood. Soon the wind stopped and the snow fell steadily. It was warmer, and the whole family snuggled up under the wagon sheet and slept.
Mr. Lane is a powerful good husband. He waited two whole days for his wife to gain strength before he resumed the journey, and on the third morning he actually carried her to the wagon. Just think of it! Could more be asked of any man?
Every turn of the wheels made poor “Mis’ Lane” more homesick. Like Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch, she had a taste for geographical names, and “Mis’ Lane” is very loyal, so she wanted to call the little first-born “Missouri.” Mr. Lane said she might, but that if she did he would call the other one “Arkansas.” Sometimes homesickness would almost master her. She would hug up the little red baby and murmur “Missouri,” and then daddy would growl playfully to “Arkansas.” It went on that way for a long time and at last she remembered that Sedalia was in Missouri, so she felt glad and really named the older baby “Sedalia.” But she could think of nothing to match the name and was in constant fear the father would name the other baby “Little Rock.”
For three years poor Gale was just “t’other one.” Then the Lanes went to Green River where some lodge was having a parade. They were watching the drill when a “bystander that was standing by” said something about the “fine regalia.” Instantly “Mis’ Lane” thought of her unnamed child; so since that time Gale has had a name.
There could be no two people more unlike than the sisters. Sedalia is really handsome, and she is thin. But she is vain, selfish, shallow, and conceited. Gale is not even pretty, but she is clean and she is honest. She does many little things that are not exactly polite, but she is good and true. They both went to the barn with me to milk. Gale tucked up her skirts and helped me. She said, “I just love a stable, with its hay and comfortable, contented cattle. I never go into one without thinking of the little baby Christ. I almost expect to see a little red baby in the straw every time I peek into a manger.”
Sedalia answered, “Well, for Heaven’s sake, get out of the stable to preach. Who wants to stand among these smelly cows all day?”
They stayed with us almost a week, and one day when Gale and I were milking she asked me to invite her to stay with me a month. She said to ask her mother, and left her mother and myself much together. But Sedalia stuck to her mother like a plaster and I just could not stand Sedalia a whole month. However, I was spared all embarrassment, for “Mis’ Lane” asked me if I could not find work enough to keep Gale busy for a month or two. She went on to explain that Sedalia was expecting to be married and that Gale was so “common” she would really spoil the match. I was surprised and indignant, especially as Sedalia sat and listened so brazenly, so I said I thought Sedalia would need all the help she could get to get married and that I should be glad to have Gale visit me as long as she liked.
So Gale stayed on with me. One afternoon she had gone to the post-office when I saw Mr. Patterson ride up. He went into the bunk-house to wait until the men should come. Now, from something Gale had said I fancied that Bob Patterson must be the right man. I am afraid I am not very delicate about that kind of meddling, and while I had been given to understand that Patterson was the man Sedalia expected to marry, I didn’t think any man would choose her if he could get Gale, so I called him. We had a long chat and he told me frankly he wanted Gale, but that she didn’t care for him, and that they kept throwing “that danged Sedalia” at him. Then he begged my pardon for saying “danged,” but I told him I appr
oved of the word when applied to Sedalia, and broke the news to him that Gale was staying with me. He fairly beamed. So that night I left Gale to wash dishes and Bob to help her while I held Mr. Stewart a prisoner in the stable and questioned him regarding Patterson’s prospects and habits. I found both all that need be, and told Mr. Stewart about my talk with Patterson, and he said, “Wooman, some day ye’ll gang ploom daft.” But he admitted he was glad it was the “bonny lassie, instead of the bony one.” When we went to the house Mr. Stewart said, “Weel, when are you douchy bairns gangin’ to the kirk?”
They left it to me, so I set Thanksgiving Day, and as there is no “kirk to gang to,” we are going to have a justice of the peace and they are to be married here. We are going to have the dandiest dinner that I can cook, and Mr. Stewart went to town next day for the wedding dress, the gayest plaid outside of Caledonia. But Gale has lots of sense and is going to wear it. I have it almost finished, and while it doesn’t look just like a Worth model, still it looks plumb good for me to have made. The boys are going up after Zebulon Pike, and Mr. Stewart is going after “Mis’ Lane.” Joy waves are radiating from this ranch and about Thanksgiving morning one will strike you.
With lots of love and happy wishes,
Your ex-Washlady,
Elinore Rupert.
CHAPTER VI
A THANKSGIVING-DAY WEDDING
Dear Mrs. Coney,—
…I think every one enjoyed our Thanksgiving programme except poor Gale. She was grieved, I verily believe, because Mr. Patterson is not Mormon and could not take Sedalia and herself also. I suppose it seemed odd to her to be unable to give way to Sedalia as she had always done.
I had cooked and cooked. Gale and Zebulon Pike both helped all they could. The wedding was to be at twelve o’clock, so at ten I hustled Gale into my room to dress. I had to lock the door to keep her in, and I divided my time between the last touches to my dinner and the finishing touches to Gale’s toilet and receiving the people. The Lane party had not come yet, and I was scared to death lest Sedalia had had a tantrum and that Mr. Stewart would not get back in time. At last I left the people to take care of themselves, for I had too much on my mind to bother with them. Just after eleven Mr. Stewart, Mis’ Lane, Sedalia, and Pa Lane “arriv” and came at once into the kitchen to warm. In a little while poor, frightened Gale came creeping in, looking guilty. But she looked lovely, too, in spite of her plaid dress. She wore her hair in a coronet braid, which added dignity and height, as well as being simple and becoming. Her mother brought her a wreath for her hair, of lilies of the valley and tiny pink rosebuds. It might seem a little out of place to one who didn’t see it, but the effect was really charming.
Sedalia didn’t know that Mr. Stewart had given Gale her dress, so, just to be nasty, she said, as soon as she saw Gale, “Dear me, when are you going to dress, Gale? You will hardly have time to get out of that horse-blanket you are wearing and get into something decent.” You see, she thought it was one of my dresses fixed over for Gale. Presently Sedalia asked me if I was invited to the “function.” She had some kind of rash on her face and Zebulon Pike noticed the rash and heard the word “function,” so he thought that was the name of some disease and asked Mr. Stewart if the “function” was “catching.” Mr. Stewart had heard Sedalia, but knew “Zebbie” had not heard all that was said and how he got the idea he had, so he answered, “Yes, if ye once get the fever.” So Zebulon Pike privately warned every one against getting the “function” from Sedalia. There are plenty of people here who don’t know exactly what a function is, myself among them. So people edged away from Sedalia, and some asked her if she had seen the doctor and what he thought of her case. Poor girl, I’m afraid she didn’t have a very enjoyable time.
At last the “jestice” of the peace came, and I hope they live happy ever afterward. That night a dance was given to celebrate the event and we began to have dinner immediately after the wedding so as to get through in time to start, for dances are never given in the home here, but in “the hall.” Every settlement has one and the invitations are merely written announcements posted everywhere. We have what Sedalia calls “homogenous” crowds. I wouldn’t attempt to say what she means, but as everybody goes no doubt she is right.
Our dinner was a success, but that is not to be wondered at. Every woman for miles around contributed. Of course we had to borrow dishes, but we couldn’t think of seating every one; so we set one table for twenty-four and had three other long tables, on one of which we placed all the meats, pickles, and sauces, on another the vegetables, soup, and coffee, and on the third the pie, cakes, ice-cream, and other desserts. We had two big, long shelves, one above the other, on which were the dishes. The people helped themselves to dishes and neighbors took turns at serving from the tables, so people got what they wanted and hunted themselves a place to sit while they ate. Two of the cowboys from this ranch waited upon the table at which were the wedding party and some of their friends. Boys from other ranches helped serve and carried coffee, cake, and ice-cream. The tablecloths were tolerably good linen and we had ironed them wet so they looked nice. We had white lace-paper on the shelves and we used drawn-work paper napkins. As I said, we borrowed dishes, or, that is, every woman who called herself our neighbor brought whatever she thought we would need. So after every one had eaten I suggested that they sort out their dishes and wash them, and in that way I was saved all that work. We had everything done and were off to the dance by five o’clock. We went in sleds and sleighs, the snow was so deep, but it was all so jolly. Zebbie, Mr. Stewart, Jerrine, and I went in the bobsled. We jogged along at a comfortable pace lest the “beasties” should suffer, and every now and then a merry party would fly past us scattering snow in our faces and yelling like Comanches. We had a lovely moon then and the snow was so beautiful! We were driving northward, and to the south and back of us were the great somber, pine-clad Uintah Mountains, while ahead and on every side were the bare buttes, looking like old men of the mountains,—so old they had lost all their hair, beard, and teeth.
CHAPTER VII
ZEBULON PIKE VISITS HIS OLD HOME
December 28, 1909.
Dear Mrs. Coney,—
Our Thanksgiving affair was the most enjoyable happening I can remember for a long time. Zebulon Pike came, but I had as a bait for him two fat letters from home. As soon as I came back from his place I wrote to Mrs. Carter and trusted to luck for my letter to reach her. I told her all I could about her brother and how seldom he left his mountain home. I asked her to write him all she could in one letter, as the trips between our place and his were so few and far between. So when she received my letter she wrote all she could think of, and then sent her letter and mine to Mothie and Phœbe, who are widows living in the old home. They each took turns writing, so their letters are a complete record of the years “Zebbie” has been gone. The letters were addressed to me along with a cordial letter from Mrs. Carter asking me to see that he got them and to use my judgment in the delivering. I couldn’t go myself, but I wanted to read the letters to him and to write the answers; so I selected one piece of news I felt would bring him to hear the rest without his knowing how much there was for him.
Well, the boys brought him, and a more delighted little man I am sure never lived. I read the letters over and over, and answers were hurried off. He was dreadfully homesick, but couldn’t figure on how he could leave the “critters,” or how he could trust himself on a train. Mr. Stewart became interested, and he is a very resourceful man, so an old Frenchman was found who had no home and wanted a place to stay so he could trap. He was installed at Zebulon Pike’s with full instructions as to each “critter’s” peculiarities and needs. Then one of the boys, who was going home for Christmas to Memphis, was induced to wait for Mr. Parker and to see him safe to Little Rock. His money was banked for him, and Mr. Stewart saw that he was properly clothed and made comfortable for the trip. Then he sen
t a telegram to Judge Carter, who met Zebulon Pike at Little Rock, and they had a family reunion in Yell County. I have had some charming letters from there, but that only proves what I have always said, that I am the luckiest woman in finding really lovely people and having really happy experiences. Good things are constantly happening to me. I wish I could tell you about my happy Christmas, but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to stop loading you down with two-thousand-word letters.
From something you wrote I think I must have written boastingly to you at some time. I have certainly not intended to, and you must please forgive me and remember how ignorant I am and how hard it is for me to express myself properly. I felt after I had written to Mr. Parker’s people that I had taken a liberty, but luckily it was not thought of in that way by them. If you only knew how far short I fall of my own hopes you would know I could never boast. Why, it keeps me busy making over mistakes just like some one using old clothes. I get myself all ready to enjoy a success and find that I have to fit a failure. But one consolation is that I generally have plenty of material to cut generously, and many of my failures have proved to be real blessings.
I do hope this New Year may bring to you the desire of your heart and all that those who love you best most wish for you.
With lots and lots of love from baby and myself.
Your ex-washlady,
Elinore Rupert.
CHAPTER VIII