Evil Of Love

by Echeverria, N. L.

  “You have no idea how happy I am that I ran into you, Stephanie. The last I heard you moved to live with your Aunt Elizabeth. I tried so many times contacting you and trying to find out how I could get ahold of your aunt, but never had any luck. Why didn’t you ever call me?”

  I guess I should have expected this. I know he wants an explanation, but I’m not sure how to give him one. How do I tell this man that is now a stranger to me that I was dying inside? It took me years to move on from our love and I didn’t call or contact him so that he could live his life without all my bullshit corrupting it. He was too good for me, still is. I grab my cup of coffee taking a sip before giving him an answer.

  “You know me Eric, or should I say you knew me. Do you remember what it was like the last day we spent together?” I question, the pain catching in my throat as I think back to the events that played out.

  “Yeah, I remember, which was why I needed to find you. I wanted to help you, Stephanie. I loved you. I still love you.”

  As the words come out of his mouth my heart begins to pound in my chest and tears prickle my eyes. How can he love me? I want to scream that he’s an idiot for wasting his time, but I decide against getting too emotional in a public place.

  “That was my life Eric! How could I drag you down with me? My father kicked me out that day. Shipped me to my aunts and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin your life too. So I decided to leave you be. Let you have a good future, one that doesn’t consist of all the shit that surrounds me. I loved you Eric which is why I had to let you go. I didn’t deserve you,” I exclaim.

  Now the tears fill my eyes and I can’t hold them back. Too many years of built up sorrow from losing him, a tear roll down my cheek. His hand is instantly cupping my face as he wipes the tear drop away. It’s strange how natural his touch feels after so many years. As if it was just yesterday he was holding me in that abandoned library, comforting me.

  “Look… I’m sorry. Let’s not worry about what happened ten years ago. You’re here now. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please tell me about your life Steph. You’re married? Tell me about that.”

  I sigh, wiping the rest of my face feeling ridiculous that this man has seen how weak I am and we’ve only been sitting here for a few minutes. I almost laugh at what he says. My marriage! Only if he knew.

  “I don’t want to talk about me right now, Eric. Tell me about you. Are you living in town? What do you do for work? Are you married? Give me some insight to your now adult life.” I watch as his lips curl up into a smile.

  “Well… let’s start with the marriage question. No. I’ve had a couple serious relationships over the years, but nothing that ever amounted to much. I don’t know if it was them or just the fact that I couldn’t get over my high school crush.” I blush shaking my head. Why is he taking it there? “As for where I live, yes, I live in town and anytime you want to come over to my place just let me know. I’d love to show you around.” He winks and it makes me smile. “As far as work… well… I’m a UFC fighter. Now before you say anything let me explain how this came to be. After high school I developed a lot of rage, I’m not going to say what caused it, we can discuss that another time, but let’s just say I was not happy. College is where everything started going bad. I got into a lot of fights and started participating in underground fighting for extra money. Let’s just say I’m good and it didn’t take long at all for me to get noticed. I still finished college but started in the MMA fighting rings bringing in money and decided that this was the best outlet for me and I could make a living doing it. I know it’s something I can’t do forever so I continued on with school during the night and passed the BAR exam. I figure once I’m done in the ring I can have my fights in the court,” he explains and I’m completely intrigued. A fighter? I don’t know that I would have guessed that. “Anyways… if you ever need someone’s ass kicked just call me,” he winks, again placing his hand on top of mine and I nervously take another sip of my coffee.

  “Wow… that’s amazing, Eric. I can’t say that I’ve ever watched one of those fights, not even on TV. They’re so brutal and plus Travis wouldn’t allow it,” the words slip my mouth before I can take them back and his smile disappears with a frown in its place.

  “Travis?”

  “My husband,” I respond bluntly, not really sure what else to say.

  “What do you mean he wouldn’t allow it, Steph?” He takes my hand in his from across the table.

  “Nothing. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “So, how did you mean it?”

  “Can we not talk about Travis?” I plead. The last thing I need is for him to know how fucked up my life still is after all these years. He wouldn’t understand.

  “Okay, but I seriously want to know more about you, Stephanie. Can we meet up again?”

  “Umm… I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “Look, just coffee again or a lunch?”

  “Okay, but I don’t have a phone so it’s hard to reach me. I can give you my email.”

  “Great! That works just fine. I have a fight coming up in a month so maybe we can get together before that?”

  “Okay. Just email me what day works for you and I’ll let you know.”

  I pull a pen from my purse writing my email down on a napkin before passing it to him. His green eyes look into me with a passion that is hard to resist. The passion I can see in him has been lingering deep inside me for ten years now just waiting to break free.

  “Stephanie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m here for you… always have been.”

  His words linger within me as we finish up our coffee. He tells me how he has yet to lose a fight and that his training consumes most of his days, especially when there is an up and coming fight. He also invites me to come with him one of these days to watch him train and I only reply with a maybe. I don’t want to make promises I know I can’t keep. Even meeting up with him again in the next month is going to be hard, not just hard, but it scares me to go behind Travis’ back. It’s one thing to lie to meet up with Zoey at the market, but it’s a whole other thing to lie to hang out with my ex-boyfriend from high school who I never got over.

  “I better get going, Steph. I’ve got to meet up with my trainer in an hour,” he says standing up reaching his hand out for mine.

  I place my palm in his as he helps me up, wrapping an arm behind me at my waist and the gesture feels comforting, that I allow his hands to remain on me. They’re several other people now in the coffee shop and I look at the clock on the wall realizing that Thomas should be back soon. Now that I have him I don’t know if I can let him go again. The torture that I went through for the first few years after leaving is not something I want to re-live. I know right now, in this moment, that I have to see him again. He opens the door to the coffee shop and we both step out on the sidewalk. He stops outside turning to face me, placing both his hands on my hips and I get a good look at him. His shinning blonde hair is an amazing contrast to his summer tinted skin and his green shirt brings out the color his eyes. The blue jeans that he’s wearing snug his hips nicely. He is more gorgeous than when we were kids.

  “I need to know you, Stephanie, and I really hope you’ll give me the time. We can be friends.” I smile, but I know that’s not possible, not with Travis as my husband.

  “I know. We’ll meet up again Eric. Just email me, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He pulls me into an embrace, hugging me before letting go. I turn around back towards the direction of the market. Not looking behind me.

  ***

  Eric

  I came to the market place to get away. Clear my head before I go to the gym this afternoon. I always have to make sure I have a clear mind so I can concentrate on my training. The sun is blazing down on my shoulders and it feels so good. I stroll to the nearest water fountain to get a drink and when I see her, my heart stops. Those long legs that could go on forever and I watch as she flips
her pony tail to the side and she puts her full lips into the water. I’m stopped in place not sure what to do. Fear of her disappearing, I come up behind her speaking her name. As she turns to face me, those large brown eyes that I fell in love with look back at me and I can’t believe I’ve found her. Years of pain and so much time spent trying to track her down and here she is, in the flesh right in front of me. Her strapless white dress hugging her body, all I want to do is reach out and touch her porcelain skin. Her full breast filling the top of her dress and her hair pulled tightly back exposing her slender neck. I wanted her the first time I saw her back in high school and I want her even more now. Then I see it. In her eyes and her body language, she’s been hurt. If it’s her father still hurting her I swear to god I’ll kill him!

  She’s skinny and frail. I can see it in her eyes that she’s suffering on the inside. She is absolutely stunning on the outside, but this woman is in pain and I can’t help but blame myself for not being there for her. She needed me and she still needs me. This time I’m not going to let her go.

  Once I ask her to join me for coffee I take her hand in mine, indulging in the sweet feeling of being able to touch her again. I don’t care how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other. I don’t care how much her life has changed. I’m going to touch her every chance I get, even if it is just as friends. I don’t care how long it takes; I’m going to know her again. I’m going to love her in any way she will let me. I have been waiting far too long for this day to come.

  Chapter Seven

  Thomas doesn’t ask me about my visit at the market and the car ride back home is silent. I didn’t see Zoey even on my way back to the place Thomas had dropped me off. I can’t get Eric out of my head though. I wish I could tell Thomas to take me right back there so I could jump into Eric’s arms. But it’s a ridiculous thought. I’m a married woman. As we pull into our driveway I sigh knowing there’s a possibility I may not speak to him again. My feelings for him never changed, they were only pushed aside when Travis came into my life.

  As I step out of the car I stretch my arms out allowing the sun to hit my skin before thanking Thomas and heading inside the house. It’s lonely and quiet in here during the day when it’s only me. Right now I’m left with my thoughts of Eric and the images from the night I lost my virginity to him back in high school. Remembering how his hands caressed my body and how his mouth felt all over my skin is getting me hot and damp down below. I go to my bedroom removing my dress and sandals and grabbing my swim suit. A dip in the pool will cool me off. I grab a towel and a robe wrapping it around me before running downstairs. I stop in the kitchen to leave a note for our chef who should be here soon asking for him to barbeque some steak for dinner tonight. Opening the French glass doors that lead to our massive back deck I can see the pool and it looks crisp. Striping off the bathrobe and placing it and the towel on my lounging chair I step into the pool. My body instantly cools from the burning that was being caused from all my naughty thoughts of Eric.

  After swimming a few laps I lay out on my chair in hopes to get some color, but as soon as I’m out of the refreshing water and laying down my mind wonders back to Eric and his luscious lips and the way he makes me feel with a single touch of his hand. After the sex last night with Travis I still have built up sexual frustration. Knowing Travis won’t be home for hours; I grab my stuff and take off back up to my large bedroom.

  Locking the door behind me and throwing everything on the floor and then removing my bikini I jump into bed crawling under the wonderfully fluffy comforter. Don’t get me wrong, Travis can please me just fine. It’s only when he gets angry like the way he did last night does he hold out. It shows just how much of a selfish bastard he is capable of being. I lay on my back, knees bent and legs spread out to the side, relaxed. Closing my eyes I picture him, Eric, and those large rough hands that were touching me today; I picture them moving along my skin massaging and teasing in all the right places. My hand moves to my chest and I begin to tease my nipples, pinching and pulling until they’re perky and hard.

  Thinking of Eric’s fingers finding my sweet part and moving in and out, I already become wet and haven’t even touched myself yet. After a few more rubs and pinches to my nipples I move my hand down my stomach until I reach the small curls of hair and then I part my folds, slowing rubbing my clit. A moan escapes my mouth as I imagine it being Eric touching me. Running my fingers down further I begin to move a finger in and out. I’m wet, wet from thinking of Eric and the thought puts me over the edge. The orgasm that’s been lingering releases and I don’t want it to stop. I want Eric.

  Coming back to reality, my skin flushed pink and my cheeks on fire, I’m confused and not sure what it is exactly I’m getting myself into.

  ***

  I’m on the couch reading a book as I hear the front door open. I slouch down knowing its Travis finally home from work and I’m feeling guilty about everything that went on today; from running into Eric, to pleasuring myself at the thought of him. I don’t even peer over my shoulder, afraid to look him in the eyes. His hand touches my shoulder and I sit up turning to face the inevitable.

  “Hey, honey. What’d you do today?”

  There’s the question that I don’t want to answer, but I have to. “I was home all day, went for a swim, got some sun.” I stand up and wrapping my arms around his neck and I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

  “You’ve been drinking?” I ask and instantly his smile turns to a frown.

  “Is there a problem with that?” he snaps.

  “Of course not, baby! How stupid of me to even ask that question. I wasn’t thinking,” I chime doing my best to ease the situation. “Why don’t you go get changed and we’ll eat. The food is almost ready.”

  “Okay.” He kisses my forehead and turns to go upstairs.

  Not much time passes and he’s back shirtless and in a pair of shorts, his hair wet and crazy and his hard bare chest still moist from the shower. We walk out to the back deck and sit at the table as the chef serves us the barbequed steaks with baked potatoes and green beans. Travis makes sure to only serve me half the potato and a third of the steak with a tiny scoop of green beans. He pours me a glass of red wine and we begin to eat.

  “I know last night didn’t go how you planned, Stephanie. I had to do what was necessary, but tonight will be different. Tonight it’s about you.”

  I clench my pelvis with anticipation knowing what he’s capable of in bed, but there’s this part of me that wishes it was Eric. The one person who would never hurt me the way Travis does continuously.

  “Would you like to swim before we go in tonight?” I ask once we’ve finished our meals. I need to cool off before I have to perform for him.

  “That would be nice.”

  It doesn’t take us long to finish our meals and Travis is pulling off his shorts exposing all of himself and I can’t deny how incredibly sexy he is. He walks over to me removing the white dress I had put back on and then my underwear and bra and he’s careful not to touch any part of me when doing it which only leaves me lingering for more. I follow him to the pool, thoughts of Eric still lingering in my mind and I want to run. I don’t want Travis to touch me the way he does. I don’t want him to hurt me. Eric was always the one that gave me hope and seeing him today gives me some of that hope back. I don’t run though. Travis is my husband.

  I step into the cool water behind him and he turns to me grabbing my hips, pulling me in. Once we’re fully in the water he spreads my legs so that I’m straddling him and I wrap them around his body, crossing my feet behind his back. I feel him between my legs as he rubs against the part of me that is burning for attention, as we sway in the water. His lips moving to my neck, I run my fingers through his dark mangled hair closing my eyes and instantly envision Eric. I freeze caught off guard as if he’s going to know I’m not thinking about him, but he doesn’t notice. His lips continue down until he reaches my nipples and he licks the bud until it perks up respon
ding to him. He sucks on it pulling my nipple between his teeth and that familiar feeling between my legs creeps up. Travis then moves to the other nipple doing the same until I moan in pleasure and then he releases. Moving backwards with me still wrapped around him, he leans against the side of the pool and lays me back in the water so that I’m still straddling him and he’s holding me up by my hips. Twisting and turning my nipples he grabs his shaft and plunges it into me. I let out a yelp as it catches me off guard.

  “You feel so damn good!” he grits through his teeth as he begins to thrust in and out of me at a rapid pace that I can’t keep up. The sweet kisses led up to his quick release. Forgetting about my needs. I do what I can to keep up with him as he thrust in and out of me, and I reach down to rub my clit so that I can release as well, but he immediately stops when he sees what I’m doing.

  “Did I give you permission?”

  “But…”

  “But! Nothing! You will not touch yourself unless I ask you to!”

  He shoves me off of him and I splash into the water. Fuck! Just one night! One night without him getting all pissed off about something! He storms out of the pool grabbing his towel and wrapping it around him before slamming the door as he walks back into the house. I’m left naked in the water again unsatisfied. I swear I thought he was in a good mood, but obviously he had been drinking so much that anything would put him over edge. How can the one action of me touching myself make him mad enough that he will even give up his own satisfaction? Now I’m sure he’s going to go jack off and then ignore me the rest of the night. I wipe the one tear that escapes my now blood shot eyes and step out of the pool, wrapping myself in one the towels hanging on the chairs. Grabbing my clothes I head back into the house deciding that tonight I will stay downstairs as long as possible, reading a book or at least pretending to read while I think of Eric.

  After slipping my dress back on, I curl up on the couch with a throw blanket, but as soon as I’m snuggled in I hear Travis grunting and stomping down the stairs; obviously angry. He walks into the living room and steps around the couch so that he can see me. I look up to meet his naked body and the burning fury in his eyes, I tremble under his glare.