Evil Of Love

by Echeverria, N. L.

  I close my eyes, concentrating on the way his large hands feel along my tender skin. Even though I’m hurting I’m still aroused and becoming moist from his sensual touch. A moan escapes my mouth and this time it’s not from pain, but from pleasure, eyes closed, and envisioning him inside me has me blushing.

  “I want nothing more than to make love to you right now, but I can’t risk the chance of hurting you,” Eric whispers in my ear and his breath on my neck causes me to shiver. He places a gentle kiss on my skin and then continues working my back and sides.

  Some time passes and I think I almost fell asleep when I feel his breath against my ear again, “I told you if he hurt you again I would kill him. I’m going to do what I can to restrain myself, Steph, but if you go back there and he does this again, I’m not going to the police. I will go straight to his house and handle him myself. I don’t care if I end up in prison.”

  “I know, Eric,” I say turning to my side so I can face him. “I’ll be away from him soon enough and neither of us will have to worry about Travis again.” I reach up placing my hand on his cheek, pulling him down to me. Our lips meet in a slow mesmerizing kiss. It feels like the first kiss to a new life. This is my beginning of a new future, of a new me, and I have Eric to keep me up. He has only been back in my life for such a short time and has already had to bear witness to all the bullshit that surrounds me. This was the initial reason when we were kids that I didn’t want him in my life. I hate that you has to go through all of this with me, but if he’s willing then I’ll take all the love I can get. I need someone. I need him.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  I didn’t want to leave Eric’s place. I didn’t want to leave the peaceful comfort of his arms, but I had to go home to face Travis. I can’t leave my marriage without making things right. I take a long steamy shower, enjoying the feeling of the hot water on my damaged body and then dressing in a long nightgown. It’s been two nights since I’ve seen Eric and in the last two nights Travis has completely ignored me. I guess it’s better than us having another confrontation. I need to speak with him though. I need to give him one last chance. He saved me when no one else did and I need to help him.

  I wipe the steam from the mirror as I take in my lean frail frame. The bruises are lightning up to a yellow green color and my body is beginning to feel a little better, but I don’t look very good. My eyes are heavy and my cheeks sunken in. I haven’t eaten much lately with everything that’s been happening. I take a brush to my long hair, slowly brushing out all the tangles before going downstairs to wait for Travis.

  I check the clock downstairs and take a seat on the couch, knowing I still have a few minutes before he shows up. My palms are sweaty and my heart is racing. I’m scared I’ll piss him off more; I’m scared I might be bringing on my own pain. I begin to contemplate running back upstairs and pretending I’m sleeping, but before I can act on the thought the front door swings open. I stand to greet him in the entryway. My long black night gown flowing at my ankles as I walk.

  I stop only a few feet in front of him, while he hangs his coat on the rack next to the door. I can smell the alcohol from where I’m standing and now I’m positive this was a horrible idea. I stay motionless, hands behind my back and watch as he runs his long fingers through his dark hair before looking at me.

  “Good evening, Stephanie.”

  “Travis, I think we should talk,” I reply with more confidence in my voice than expected.

  “Oh baby, do you miss me?” he jokes, reaching an arm out to place around my back. Now I can smell the alcohol even more with his face so close to mine. He’s wasted.

  “Maybe we should talk in the morning,” I whisper.

  “Sure, we can talk in the morning, but tonight I want you.”

  I don’t want to do this. Not while knowing that I’m leaving him in just over a week. I want to make things right, verbally, have an understanding, and have some communication so he knows he hurt me. I don’t want to fuck and then pretend everything’s okay.

  “You look tense baby, let me give you a back massage,” I say, attempting to distract him and hoping he’ll just pass out.

  “I’m tense because I need a release, Steph. You know this. Give me what I need,” he commands, raising his voice slightly which causes me to step back.

  “Come with me up stairs, let me help you there.”

  He kicks off his shoes, and then I lead him up to our room. I watch as he clumsily takes off his clothes one article at a time. Leaving him standing before me in only his underwear. I admire his large bare chest. He’s not as built as Eric, but still looks good. He used to hold me so tight with those long arms, but now when I see them all I think about is him hitting me. I can’t deny that I love him, I just don’t know if I have the right reasoning. It’s like I’m pulled to people that abuse me, that blame me for their behavior and in turn I work harder to make them happy. Standing here in front of him, in front of the man that Travis has become, drunk and abusive. I begin to realize he will never be the sweet caring man I first met.

  I let out a sigh, knowing I have to end this marriage. I will not only have to end it, but I will have to disappear. I have to run away and never look back at this life. I know he’ll search for me and I don’t want to think about what he would do if he found me. If he found out I left him for Eric. In reality though, I’m not leaving him for Eric, I’m finally doing something for me. I’m leaving him so that I can finally be happy. So that I can wake up each morning and smile at the rising sun with no skeletons to haunt me.

  “Come here, Travis. Lay down on the bed.” I tug his arm, helping him onto the mattress and he flops down on his stomach like a brick. “I’ll be right back,” I say before walking to the bathroom.

  I return with a bottle of lotion, gently squeezing some into my hand. I rub it over his back gently, almost like the other day when Eric caressed my skin; in a caring and healing way. Today is not my last day here. I still have a little over a week. I need to make peace with this man and forgive him for what he’s done to me so that I can move on with no demons to haunt me. Rubbing gently from his shoulders down and back up, I repeat this motion several times. He groans every so often and it doesn’t take long before I hear his breath getting heavy.

  “Travis,” I whisper, nudging his shoulder, but he doesn’t move.

  I place a blanket over him and decide to get on the computer. I know Travis is not going to wake up with how drunk he is and I need to email Eric.

  I switch on the desktop and wait patiently for it to load. As I open and sign onto my email I have two new messages that pop up. One from Zoey and another from Eric. I open Zoey’s first.

  Steph,

  I miss you and I hope you’re okay. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Maybe we can go to coffee or something this week?

  Hope to see you soon!

  Your friend,

  Zoey

  I instantly click reply, knowing I need to see her, say goodbye before I leave with Eric. I know whatever city we go to we’ll never come back here.

  Zoey,

  I can have coffee with you tomorrow around noon. Travis will be at work, so how about you come to my place this time. I’ll make some coffee and muffins. If you can’t, just shoot me an email. I’ll be checking it in the morning.

  Steph

  I open Eric’s email beginning to feel anxious. Not seeing him for two days is killing me. I miss him badly.

  My Love,

  You already know I miss you. I need to see you. I need to know you’re okay tonight. I can’t wait to be with you. Next Saturday is the fight and next Saturday is the day we get to be together. The day you will be saved. I have already gotten a place that will be ready for us in Texas. If I win this fight my next big fight will be scheduled in Texas. I hope this moving around is not too hard on you and if it is just say so and I’ll quit. I’ll do something else. Let’s meet tomorrow morning before my training session.

  I love you. Sweet dreams be
autiful.

  Eric

  His words bring the first smile to my face all day. In an email he so easily lifts my heart.

  Eric,

  Don’t ever quit fighting! Not for anyone and especially not for me. You’re too damn sexy. I will travel anywhere with you if it means being in your arms every night. I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll have coffee ready. I can’t wait.

  With all my love,

  Steph

  I shut down the computer before heading to my bed where my husband awaits sleeping.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Nervously pacing the sidewalk as I wait for Eric has me biting my nails. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. Maybe because I’ve invited him into my husband’s home, knowing there is a chance I could be caught. Maybe because I’m the one who is committing adultery and I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s been days since I’ve seen him and I’m feeling more broken the more time that passes by.

  Travis hasn’t bothered me much, except for last night and thank God he was so drunk that he passed out. As soon as I see his truck rounding the corner, I stop in place, all fear, all anxiety gone and replaced with only happiness. He stops along the curb rolling his window down.

  “I thought we were having coffee at your place? How come you’re out here, beautiful?”

  “I wanted to meet you in front,” I reply opening the passenger door and hoping in the truck. “I just wasn’t sure you remembered where I live. I’ve got coffee ready and fresh backed blueberry muffins.”

  “Sounds good, I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten anything yet,” he says, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Are you sure you want to have coffee here? I don’t want any of this to be uncomfortable for you, Steph. You know with it being your husband’s house.”

  “That’s just the thing, Eric. It’s my husband’s house, not mine. I have nothing that’s mine and anyways, soon I won’t even live here. I’m fine with it. I wanted to be able to bake for you.”

  “Okay, I don’t care where I am as long as it’s with you, but are you sure no one will see us?”

  “Well, the only person here is the driver, Thomas, and he won’t say anything. He’s pretty good about keeping to himself, plus I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like Travis, and he’s been taking me to meet up with you so I know he probably won’t be too surprised.”

  He leans in kissing me before putting the truck in drive and turning into the driveway. It’s a long paved driveway and I press the button so the gate closes behind us. He pulls up to the front of the house placing the truck in park.

  “I hope you’re hungry because I don’t get to bake often with Travis’ chefs around all the time.”

  “Starving, baby,” he whispers into my ear as he grabs my hand helping me down from his truck. His hand on the small of my back as we walk up the front steps.

  “I can’t wait for next weekend, Steph. I wish you would come with me now,” he says as I open the front door.

  “I know Eric, but I can’t leave with you and stay in the same city. I’m too scared that Travis would track me down. It’s easier if we leave after your fight.”

  “I already told you I don’t have to…”

  “Shut up, okay! I know you think you don’t have to fight and you can just run away with me, but I’m not going to ruin your future because of my stupid decisions. You’re going to fight, I’m going to be there to cheer you on and then we’re leaving together. Okay?” I command, tired of hearing him say he’s going to give up everything for me. It’s ridiculous.

  “Okay, boss,” he says, lifting his hands in the air as if to surrender and we bust up laughing. I’m not even mad at him and only when we are together can I just be me with a man and not have fear that I’m going to be knocked down to my ass or cursed at.

  I shut the door behind him, throwing my arms around his neck while in the entryway. “I want to be with you forever, Eric!” I say, smiling.

  “I waited for you this long and trust me, I will never let you go, at least not easily,” he replies, winking at me as he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me into him and our lips crush together. Heat building between us. It’s only been a couple days, but my mind and body are both longing for him, craving him in every way possible.

  I unwillingly pull away. “Come on. Let’s get you some coffee and muffins.” I pull his hand, and he grabs the loop in my shorts tugging me back to him, grabbing my ass firmly, lifting me, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and I’m staring down at him, giggling.

  “I love you, Steph.”

  “I love you too,” I reply, still smiling wide looking down at him. His lips meet mine, but softly this time, only for a short kiss before he places me back on my feet.

  “Okay. Coffee and muffins,” he says, and I lead him to the kitchen.

  “It figures the asshole would have a mansion to live in,” Eric grits between his teeth and I just laugh grabbing the pot of coffee and two coffee mugs.

  “The asshole is the owner of Barnes Credit Union, plus all the money and items in the world will not cover up just how big of an asshole he is,” I respond lightly and he laughs at my comment.

  “Very true. I just hope I can give you everything you want and deserve, Steph.”

  “Eric,” I grab our coffee filled mugs and walk around to the other side of the counter where he is now sitting, placing one in front of him and the other to the side, “all I need and all I want is to be happy, with you.” I walk back around the counter to grab the plate of muffins then I feel large hands around my waist. Eric’s breathe on my neck and then his lips pressed softly to my skin.

  “You smell so good,” he whispers in my ear.

  I turn to face him, the fire in his eyes burning through me. “Don’t start something you can’t stop, Eric. I spent this morning baking these fresh blueberry muffins and you are going to eat at least one!” I tease pushing past him with the platter in my hand, placing it on the counter. We both take a seat on the stools next to each other.

  “I’m hungry, but tasting you would be so much more satisfying right now,” he teases, placing a kiss on my cheek and I instantly blush. I’m not used to all this positive attention. I’m not used to someone expressing in a positive way how attracted they are to me. I know Travis is attracted to me, but he usually spends more time telling me I’m fat or controlling what I eat so I don’t get fat.

  I grab a muffin from the platter and holding it up to his deliciously looking lips. “Eat,” I order with a smile.

  He opens his mouth wide, his green eyes looking straight at me, and then bites down, taking almost half the large muffin. He chews for a little bit as I bite my lip nervously hoping they don’t taste like dirt.

  “Delicious,” he moans, as he leans in, grabbing the back of my head with his hand, pulling me in for a kiss. His tongue pushes against my lips and I open for him. He tastes like blueberries. I drop the muffin on the counter, wrapping my arms around his neck and turn in my seat, straddling my legs on either side of his. My shorts ride up my thighs slightly and his hands grab my ass. In one swift move he pulls me onto his lap so that I’m straddling him and his hard groin pushes against me. My heart starts racing as my cheeks begin to burn with desire. I pull away momentarily and he comes at me, but I place my hands against his chest.

  “I don’t know if we should do this here,” I state, avoiding eye contact.

  He pulls my chin up with his hand so that we’re looking at each other. “Should we take it to a room?” he replies, half serious and half joking.

  I slap his chest playfully. “You know what I mean, Eric.”

  “Okay, okay,” he says, placing me back on my own stool. “You’re right. It’s not appropriate and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I can take you to my truck though if you want,” he says, laughing and now I know he’s joking.

  “Come on; let’s eat these muffins before my husband questions who I was cooking for.”

  I pick up the half bitten muffin and
place a new one in front of him. I eat my muffin and sip my coffee, all the while watching him eat. Watching his mouth open and his luscious lips close around the muffin and his jaw line tighten as he chews. I want to taste him so badly, but I don’t, I just keep eating and keep sipping my coffee.

  “What are you looking at?” he asks, catching me staring.

  “Nothing,” I giggle, taking another nibble of my muffin, self-consciously not eating too much of it.

  “Why were you staring? Do I need to force it out of you?”

  “No!” I exclaim, slapping his chest again, but he doesn’t flinch and all it does is make me want to run my hand up under his shirt and feel every muscle that defines his body. His tribal tattoos stand out against the white shirt he’s wearing today which makes me want to touch him that much more. I want to trace every detail from his forearm to his chest with my tongue.

  “You’re starring again, Steph,” he acknowledges, catching me off guard. Ugh, this man makes me want to drop to my knees and let him do whatever his heart desires to me.

  “Why all the tattoos?” I ask, completely off subject, but I’m curious. I always wanted one, but there is no way in hell Travis would ever let me.

  “Hmmm, I don’t think anyone has asked me ‘why’ before. I guess with the heartache, the fighting and not having my parents supporting the thing I loved, I felt the need to express myself and I didn’t know any better way to do that than tattoos. Plus, I just like them.”

  “You have quite a few though. How did you decide what to get or what you wanted?” I ask, wanting to know what they mean, the truth behind them, not just that he’s expressing himself.