by Todie West
“Well, I sure hope I don’t ever run into Dr. Tally again. She must think I’m nuts.”
“She was very concerned. I talked with her a little bit before I saw you and she understood, totally. It is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Do you think I’ll ever get back to normal? I just feel so … lost.” Uh-oh. Michael couldn’t believe he just said that. Here comes the sermon. Part of him was ready to welcome it, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to fully surrender.
Pastor Dan continued. “If you were to die today, Michael, do you know where you would go?”
“I know where I deserve to go. Straight to Hell.”
“I knew your mother for many years. I know how much she loved you and cared for you. I know she took you to church from the time you were 8 years old. She knew you were struggling with Christianity, but she kept loving you and feeding you the Word of God every day, not just by taking you to church, but by her being Jesus to you.”
“I know that. And I feel bad I gave her such a hard time.”
“I don’t believe you totally rejected it. You just never dealt with the blow of your father’s death. Then every bad thing that happened to you from that point forward was piled on and you developed an animosity towards God and you don’t know how to resolve it.”
“Where do I start?”
Pastor Dan proceeded to give Michael his testimony. “Remember when Araceli shared about how your mom took the young lady down the Roman’s Road on the airplane?”
“Yeah, I do remember that. What does that mean?”
“What she was talking about was the book of Romans in the New Testament.”
“I know where Romans is. I memorized the books of the Bible.”
“Well, the first reference is Romans 3:23. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
“Everybody except you, right Rev? Pastors don’t sin, do they?”
“Oh, Michael, let me tell you. I was one of the biggest sinners of all.”
“You? No. I don’t believe it.”
“I didn’t become a Christian until I was about your age, Michael.”
“I always figured you were one of those whose dad and granddad were both preachers and you just followed in their footsteps.”
“That’s not how it works, Michael. No one should ever become a pastor just because it runs in the family, unless, of course, they are called in that direction by the Holy Spirit.”
“How would a person know that was happening? Like hearing voices?”
“It doesn’t work like that, Michael. Let me explain my conversion. I was raised on the east side of Los Angeles. Neither of my parents spoke English. They came here from Mexico right before I was born. To make a long story short, my dad left my mom when I was too young to even remember him, and, when I was about 11 years old, I became a member of a gang.”
“You? I don’t believe it.”
“Yes, Michael. It’s true. I was indoctrinated at such a young age, by the time I was 14 I had already stabbed a man nearly to death. I ran away and was never caught.”
“Did you feel guilty?”
“Not as long as I stuck around mi familia, my gang family. They encouraged me and when I was 17 I did get caught, after a fatal stabbing.”
“You killed a guy?”
“I helped. Anyway, I was sent to the California Youth Authority for ten years.”
“No way!”
“Yes way. But, let me finish.”
“Okay.” Michael listened intently.
“While I was in prison, I was given a book.”
“The Bible.”
“No. It was called The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson.”
“What was it about?”
“It’s a true story about the first five years of David Wilkerson’s ministry to the youth of New York, those who had been caught up in drugs and gangs.”
“Really.”
“There was one gang member in particular who reminded me of myself named Nicky Cruz. And then I read a book that he wrote called Run Baby Run, about his time as a gang member in New York and his eventual meeting with David Wilkerson.”
“What happened to the guy?”
“He became one of the most dynamic, outspoken Christian evangelists of our time, reaching out to disillusioned youth and bringing them to Christ.”
“Really.”
“Anyway, when I read those two books, I became a different person. I spent the rest of my time at CYA studying the Bible and, shortly after I was released, I joined a church and, before long, I was making arrangements to go to seminary.”
“Did you graduate from high school?”
“I received my GED while at CYA. I could barely read when I got in there and had read the Bible from cover to cover before I left.”
Michael was speechless. Then he said, “Well, you might not have been perfect, but my mother was.”
“No, I’m sorry Michael. She was not perfect, either. None of us are. Now do you want to hear more about the Roman’s Road?”
“Sure. If you have time. It’s not like I have anywhere I have to be.”
“I have all the time you need. Next is Romans 6:23. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. We all know there are consequences to our sins.”
“If we get caught.”
“Well, even if we don’t get caught. God knows about it and the death He is talking about here is spiritual death. Remember I asked you if you knew where you would go if you died today?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Romans 6:23 also explains that salvation is a gift, the gift of eternal life through Christ.”
“I’m confused.”
“Romans 5:8 explains it a little better. But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. You see, in the Old Testament they had to sacrifice an unblemished animal whose blood would cover over their sins. That’s why Christ is often referred to as the Lamb of God, because his blood not only covers our sins, it washes them away, once and for all.”
“Is that the whole Roman’s Road?”
“No, there’s more. We have a part to play in all of this.”
“I thought it was a free gift.”
“It is, but if you never open the gift, what good is it?”
“I see your point. So what do we do?”
“In 10:9 it tells us that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. Except for 10:13, that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. And once you’ve accepted it, here’s the great news, in 5:1 it says Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. And 8:1 therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. And Finally …”
“That’s a long road.”
“Finally, the promise in 8:38-39, For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Michael had never seen such passion. “You mean my mom took that girl through all those scriptures like that?”
“She sure did. And that young woman’s life was saved that day, and because she is so young, God only knows how many lives she will influence in due time.”
“I may not have killed anyone, but I have lots of stuff, I hope He can forgive me.”
“Michael. Jesus loves you so much. Is there something you want to tell him.” Instead of leading Michael in a rote prayer, he felt led to have Michael spill his heart before the Lord. “Just talk to him naturally. He’s been waiting to hear from you.”
Michael began, slowly, but
passionately. “Lord, I am so sorry for being mad at you. I don’t know why you took my dad, I’m not sure I understand why you took my mom, but I guess I know why she went to Ecuador, and that’s cool. … I am sorry for my attitude towards Ruby and those three Board members. I don’t know why all that went down, but I’m going to trust that you know what you’re doing and I’m going to, like Mom always said, look for the open window, ‘cause you sure shut a big door. I’m sorry I let my kids down. I pray that you will help them understand, because I sure don’t, but I guess you know what you’re doing.” Michael wiped his nose. “Thank you for Pastor Dan and help me to trust you. Thank you. … Amen.”
That was good enough for Pastor Dan, straight from the heart, and he was sure it was exactly what Jesus wanted to hear. Pastor Dan then prayed for Michael. “Lord, I thank you for this opportunity to come to you and lay everything before you. I thank you for your mercy and your grace and for the gift of your Son, Jesus Christ. I pray you would use us for the furtherance of your kingdom and that Michael will hunger and thirst for truth in your Word and that he will begin to trust you more each day. I pray that you will give him clear direction for his life, that whatever you have chosen for him to do that he will glorify you. Thank you for Michael and I wait with great excitement and anticipation what you are going to do in his life. Amen.”
“Thanks, Rev. Oh, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind me calling you Rev, I really mean no disrespect.”
“I’ve never thought that. I kind of take it as, shall we say, a term of endearment.”
“That’s cool. So what do I do now?”
“I have a feeling there’s a Bible somewhere in this house.”
Michael laughed. “But where do I start? All those thees and thous, it just might put me to sleep.”
“What we use at the church is the New International Version, which I am sure your mom has one around here somewhere.”
“I think I saw a Bible in the box of things you gave me after she died. But do I have to start in Genesis?”
“Why don’t you start in the book of John in the New Testament.”
“I know where John is,” Michael smiled.
“That’s right. I should have you recite them all for me, see if you really do remember.”
“Oh, I’m sure I’d mess it up. It’s been a long, long time.”
“Just start there and maybe we can get together next week, I can kind of give you a little guidance on your study. I also have a really great commentary on the book of John.”
“I bet Mom has one too.” Michael pointed to the full bookshelf.
“Maybe so.” Pastor Dan checked his date book. “Well, I’m free all next week in the mornings.”
“You tell me what’s a good time.”
“How about Tuesday at 10 a.m.”
“I’ll be there. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”
“And as far as the job situation, if you want me to check on that job at the Christian school, I will. Only if you want me to, though.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Let’s just wait and see. I haven’t decided if I’m going to appeal the decision.”
“I will pray for you. God will give you direction, I am sure of it.”
“I’ll see you next week. And thanks, again, Rev.” Michael looked around the room and joked, “I doubt I could get a job as a housekeeper.”
“It’s doubtful, alright, but you sure could use one. And maybe a barber, too.”
They both laughed.”
“You’re going to be just fine, really. But you need to call your friends. They are very worried about you.”
“I know, I will. I was just so embarrassed. The three of us have a tendency to tease each other unmercifully sometimes, and I just didn’t want to go there.”
“I really don’t think that would have been the case. I ran into Brad right outside a couple of days ago when you weren’t answering your door. He said he had been by several times and you weren’t returning his phone calls, either. He was very worried about you. We talked about calling the police to break in and check on you, but I know from past experience that can be difficult.”
“Oh, Man, that WOULD have been embarrassing.”
“Nothing to be embarrassed about, really. We all go through dark times. It’s good to have friends who care.”
“I feel so much better now. I’ll call them both today. Thanks again.”
“See you Tuesday.”
“Okay, Bye.”
Chapter 16
The name of the Lord (says the Scripture) is a strong tower; thither the righteous flee and are safe (Proverbs 18:10). Let us secure His favor and He will lead us through the journey of this life and at length receive us to a better. (Samuel Adams)
While Michael was being counseled by the rev, Jason called Brad at work.
“Have you heard from him yet?”
“No,” Brad answered. “I’m really getting worried. I think we need to break in.”
“I’m with you. I’m sure he didn’t put his shotgun in storage, so he’s probably got it there at the house.”
“Yeah, that’s what’s got me worried. Poor guy. First his mother and now his job.”
“Can you believe it?”
“No, I really thought after the outpouring of support that somebody would have a heart.”
“That’s politics for you.”
“You got that right. What time can you get away this afternoon?”
“I close at 5. Shall we meet over at Michael’s say around 5:20?”
“Okay. Later.”
“Later.”
* * *
Michael was so excited, he couldn’t wait to call his friends. I don’t have to tell them about my mental breakdown in the vet’s office, Michael surmised. One minute he was semi-suicidal and now he was elated with joy. One minute he couldn’t have cared less about how his house looked or smelled, or even how he looked or smelled. Now both were disgusting to him. Before he could do anything, though, he had to call his friends. First, he called Brad at the shop.
“Brad’s Garage.”
“Brad.”
“Hey, Man. Where have you been? You don’t answer my calls. I pounded on your door. You had me worried? What’s going on?”
“Well, after the verdict came down, I just kind of went into a depression. I didn’t want to see or talk to anybody. I just wanted feel sorry for myself.”
“You sound good. You doing okay? I was going to stop by after work, is that okay?”
“Sure, if you want. I’m fine now. I had a long talk with Pastor Dan.”
“Really,” Brad replied with surprise.
“I’m starting to see the big picture, Brad. I think I’m going to be fine. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I just have this gut feeling everything is going to work out for the best.”
“You sure sound different.”
“I am different, Brad. I can’t explain it, but I think I like it.”
Brad was pleased at the positive change, but a little worried it was a false excitement. He knew Michael pretty well, and was afraid that, once he focused on being unemployed with no plan, he’d be right back in the doldrums once again.
“So I’ll see you after 5 today?” asked Brad.
“I’ll be here. I’ll have the door unlocked, just come on in. I may be in the other room cleaning.”
“Cleaning?”
“Somebody’s got to do it. And if I don’t do it soon, the stench will permeate out into the street and my next door neighbor will be calling to find out where it’s coming from.”
“It’s good you still have your sense of humor,” Brad laughed.
“It’s no joke.”
They both laughed.
Brad hesitated to bring up the subject, but asked, “Are you planning on appealing the decision?”
“No, you know what, I don’t think I am. I think God’s got another plan for me.
”
A big “Uh-oh,” slipped out of Brad’s mouth.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just …”
“I know what you’re thinking. I’ll explain it to you once I figure it out myself. I just feel good, so don’t rain on my parade.”
“No, no, I’m not trying to rain your parade. I’m just worried about you.”
“Well, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s all going to be good. Just you wait.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“Sounds great. Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For being a good friend.”
“Sure, you too. Later.”
“Later.”
Brad hung up the phone in bewilderment. If I’m not mistaken, it sounds like Michael found God, Brad thought. Not that God was lost or anything, but, well, he just wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. For a moment he felt a twinge of guilt, because he, himself, had been too busy for God since his mother moved to Florida. Or maybe it was just that she wasn’t there to hold him accountable. Brad and Marnie had good intentions when they got married to be active in church, raise their children as Christians, but life had usurped all of that. Now it had been brought to the forefront of Brad’s mind, and he realized they should at least get their 2 year old involved in Sunday School.
Michael then called Jason and told him he was doing well and had made his amends with God. It sounded to Jason that Michael had decided to return to church. Michael, Brad, and Jason all grew up in church, albeit different denominations. Brad was Baptist, Jason was Catholic, and Michael went to the non-denominational Orchard Christian Church. Back in those days, skipping church was not an option for any of them, unless they were on your death bed. They had visited each other’s churches throughout their childhood. At some point in their early adult lives, they had all backslidden to some degree, Michael more so since he wasn’t sure he accepted it all in the first place. Now he was ready to give it another try.
“I’m coming by to see you this afternoon,” Jason announced.
“That’s cool. Brad’s coming over, too. It’ll be good seeing you guys.”
Jason did not divulge the original plan for him and Brad to come break down Michael’s door. He was just relieved it wouldn’t be necessary.