As Jeff drove on, muttering, he pulled his hat down over his face to shade it from the blistering sun. “I don’t know what he’s thanking me for. It’s almost like I was Leah’s pa and he was askin’ for permission to call on her.” He slapped the reins on the skinny back of the horse. “Get up, horse. No sense loafin’ around here.”
Eileen was sitting in the grape arbor with Colonel Majors. He had hobbled out to enjoy the fresh air. September was still hot, and the shade from the vines provided welcome relief.
“By harry,” he said, “it’s good to be out again!”
She smiled and said quietly, “You need sunshine and exercise. You’re very pale.”
“Just let me get out a few more days, and I’ll be ready to go back to the regiment.”
A cloud passed across Eileen’s face. She did not like to be reminded that soon Nelson would go back and take his place in the trenches where men were dying every day. She knew it was a miserable, unromantic war fought in the mud, where death came when a man raised his head one inch too high. She also knew that Nelson Majors was the kind of man who would not shirk his duty—and was therefore the sort that usually managed to get himself wounded or killed.
Looking over at her, he said, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll last this war out. I’ve got to,” he said. “I’ve got to change your name.”
It had become a joke between them, this changing of her name as a symbol of their marriage. He took her hand and studied her face. “You have such beautiful hair. I always did like red hair.”
“Red hair means a hot temper, so people say.”
He laughed abruptly. “I’ve seen a little bit of that, and I expect to see more. That’s all right. I like a woman with spirit.”
They sat enjoying the breeze and watching the birds as they flew in the distance. Far off, a dog seemed to have treed something and was howling in long, mournful tones.
“If I was a little stronger, I’d go see what that dog has up a tree,” he said.
“Better leave that to somebody else. You have better things to do, such as sitting here with me.”
Nelson smiled. “You’re pretty proud now that you’ve caught a prospective husband.”
“Yes, I need somebody to boss around. Now I’ve got you and Esther—and even Jeff and Tom for a while.”
Nelson leaned back, thoughtful. “I’m kind of worried about Jeff. It looks like he’s off his feed.”
“I think he and Leah are having some difficulties.”
“Have you talked to Leah about it?”
For a moment Eileen considered sharing Leah’s comments about her plan to make Jeff jealous. But then she knew she could not do that. It would violate a confidence. She put him off by saying, “You sit right where you are, and I’ll make some tea.”
Leah was helping in the kitchen when Eileen suddenly said, “Leah, I’ve been thinking about what you told me about Cecil, and I think you must be careful. It’s very easy to hurt people.”
Leah looked up, surprised. She trusted Eileen’s opinion a great deal and admired her. But she said, “Oh, it’s all right. Cecil doesn’t really care about me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“He just likes to have a good time. We’re just good friends.”
Later in the day, Leah was in the garden picking bugs off the plants and sprinkling snuff on some of them, having heard that was good anti-insect protection. The snuff made her sneeze from time to time, and she wrinkled her nose. “I don’t see how people can put this in their mouth!”
At that moment she heard a horse approaching. “Hello, Cecil,” she called. “I’m out here in the garden!”
He tied the mare to the hitching post and joined her.
“You can help me pull bugs,” she said.
Cecil grinned. “You’re asking a soldier of the Confederacy to pick bugs off vegetables?”
“In that case, you can watch me pull bugs.”
But she noticed that Cecil seemed nervous. She continued to the end of the row, then said, “That’s enough bug pulling for one day. Come on, let’s go down to the brook. I’ll take off my shoes, and you can take off those hot boots, and we can go wading.”
Leah led him to the narrow creek that circled the house like a crook, and soon she sat paddling her feet beneath the large hickory tree that shadowed the noisy stream.
Cecil didn’t take his boots off. “I’ve got a hole in my sock,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to see it.”
She laughed, and they talked a while about little things.
Suddenly Cecil reached out and took her hand.
Leah was so surprised she didn’t know what to say. She saw that he was struggling desperately to say something. “Is something wrong? It’s not somebody killed in the war, is it, Cecil?”
“No—no, it’s nothing like that. It’s not bad news, Leah.” He held onto her hand, then cleared his throat. “Leah, I want to tell you something.”
“What—what is it, Cecil?”
“I want to tell you—” he cleared his throat again “—I want to tell you how much I admire you.”
Leah gave him a startled look and said quickly, “How nice of you to say so, Cecil.”
“No, it’s more than that,” he added, and his grip tightened on her hand. “It’s more than admiration. I guess you know what I’m going to say.”
Suddenly, to her horror, Leah did know what he was going to say! She wanted to cut him off, but he spoke before she could think of a way to do that.
“What I’m trying to say is that I just found out that you and Jeff aren’t serious. If I’d known that before, I would have spoken earlier. But these last two weeks have been the best of my life. I’ve always liked you, ever since you came to Richmond, Leah. You know that. But I thought you and Jeff were … well … I thought you were in love. But now Jeff says you’re not.”
Leah gasped. “Cecil,” she began, “I don’t think—”
“I guess I want to say that I love you, Leah, and I’d like to be engaged to you.”
Never had Leah Carter been so flabbergasted in her entire life! She sat with her hand held tightly in Cecil’s hand, looking into his earnest eyes, and knowing that she had made a terrible mistake. Desperately she tried to think of some way to tell him.
He said, “This may come as a surprise to you, Leah, but I don’t think so. I mean, after all, you’ve asked me over every day practically, and you wouldn’t do that to a fellow unless you were serious, would you?”
Leah found herself nodding her head but all the time thinking, No, no, it’s all wrong!
Cecil leaned forward suddenly and kissed her. “As soon as Jeff told me that there was nothing between you two, I knew what I had to do. You think about what I said, Leah, and I’ll come back later.”
Leah nodded, her throat so full she couldn’t speak. She stood watching from the brook as Cecil mounted his horse, took off his hat and waved it at her, then rode off at a gallop.
Slowly she walked back to the house. Eileen spoke to her, but she did not answer. Instead she went straight to her room and sat down on her bed. And then she reviewed the history of what had happened between her and Cecil. The longer she sat there, the worse she felt.
At last she got up and sat at her desk. Taking out her journal, she dipped the turkey quill in ink and began to write:
I have made the most awful mistake of my life. I have made Cecil think I care for him—and I do, but not as he expects. He’s just come to tell me he loves me and that he wants to marry me someday. Oh, what a fool I’ve been! What an utter, absolute fool. Jeff tried to tell me. Eileen tried to tell me. But I wouldn’t listen!
Leah put the pen down and fell across the bed. Sobs racked her body. She was a sensitive, kind girl, but now she had hurt one of the dearest, most gentle young men that she had ever met. Guilt washed over her, and she could see no way out of the situation that she herself had created.
13
“With This Ring …”
The marriage of Col. Nelson Majors and Eileen Fremont took place in a small Methodist chapel. The building was filled, mostly with officers and men of the colonel’s regiment.
“It sure looks odd,” Jeff murmured, standing next to Tom at the front of the church. “Almost nobody here but men. Never saw a wedding like this.”
“I guess that’s the way it is in war time. There comes Leah.”
Jeff looked back to see Leah, wearing a blue silk dress with a bow at her waist and a white hat tied beneath her chin. She held a bouquet and marched up the aisle steadily, then turned to stand beside him.
He nudged her and whispered, “You look great, Leah.” He was surprised when her lips drew into a frown. I wonder what’s the matter with her, he thought.
Across from Jeff and Tom stood their father. His ash-gray uniform was immaculate. Its brass buttons caught the glint of the lanterns burning on each side of the church and hanging from the chandeliers. He wore a scarlet sash around his waist, and he looked tall and straight and handsome. His eyes were fixed on the back of the church.
Suddenly Jeff saw him smile. The organ began to play “Here Comes the Bride,” and all the officers and men turned to watch Eileen come down the aisle on the arm of the colonel’s commanding officer. He had been delighted to give the bride away, although he was no relative.
Eileen was wearing a white dress—borrowed, Jeff knew. A long bridal veil fell down her back, and a sheer veil covered her face. She kept her eyes fixed on the groom. The lights were soft and the church quiet except for the sound of the organ.
The preacher asked, “Who gives this woman …” The general said, “I do,” and there was the colonel standing across from her.
Jeff was fascinated as he watched. The two of them looked very handsome. He remembered with some shame how he had opposed the marriage. She’ll be a good wife to Pa, he thought as the words of the wedding ceremony were spoken by the minister. He needs someone. I know he’s been lonesome, and she’s already been a mother to Esther—and to me too.
Finally the minister intoned, “By the authority vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.” Then he smiled and said, “You may kiss your bride, colonel.”
Nelson carefully lifted the veil from Eileen’s face, bent over, and kissed her briefly. A cheer went up from his men, and the organ struck up the recessional.
Outside, officers quickly gathered to form a canopy of swords. The colonel and his bride passed underneath to where a carriage waited. He helped Eileen in, got in beside her, and then they waved at the cheering crowd.
“Let’s get out of here, driver!” he said. “Before some of those fellows think up some tricks to play.”
“Yes, suh.”
The horses took off at a dead run.
Jeff laughed to see the carriage careening down the street.
“I reckon Pa was wise to get away,” Tom said.
“He was, and they haven’t told anybody where they’re going for their honeymoon either. Pa said he was afraid somebody would think up a shivaree.”
Then Jeff said, “And I guess we don’t have to worry about Esther anymore.”
“No.” The look of relief on Tom’s face and the sound of his voice showed how glad he felt. “She’s a wonderful woman, Eileen is. Esther will have a great mother.”
The two soldiers, looking strikingly similar, walked back into the church, where they were congratulated as though it were their own wedding.
“Look,” Jeff said, “there goes Leah. She’ll need some help taking care of Esther till Pa and Eileen get back. But we both have got to get back to Petersburg …”
Jeff hurried and caught up with her. “That was a good wedding, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was.”
Jeff looked at her questioningly. Leah was usually outgoing and bubbly, especially at a wedding. But then, he thought, she had been withdrawn and silent all day. “What’s the matter with you, Leah?” he said. “Are you sick?”
“No, I’m all right. I just don’t … feel much like talking.”
He tried to get her to say more, but she said, “I’ve got to go home, Jeff. A neighbor is taking care of Esther, and I promised I’d come home early.”
And off she went.
Leah ran upstairs to check on Esther and found her asleep. Then she went back downstairs and said, “Thank you so much for keeping Esther, Mrs. Dayton. I can take her now.”
“Was it a nice wedding?” Mrs. Dayton asked. She was a woman in her late fifties with two boys in the Confederate army.
“Oh, yes, it was very nice. Colonel Majors looked very handsome and, of course, his bride was lovely.”
“Such a romantic thing. They’ll be so good for each other.”
“Yes, they will,” Leah said absently.
When the woman left, promising to return, Leah made herself a cup of tea. Then she sat at the kitchen table and drank it slowly. From time to time she heard people go by on the road. Sometimes a horse would pass at a gallop. At other times the groaning of wagon wheels came to her. She thought of Jeff and how she had cut him off almost without a word.
“It seems I can’t do anything right,” she said aloud and started at the sound of her own voice. Here I am, starting to talk to myself!
She got to her feet and did housework for a time. But her mind kept going back to Cecil. He had returned later on the day of his proposal. She had not felt able to talk with him, and he had left somewhat deflated. She knew that sooner or later he would be back.
She wandered into the backyard and leaned against the trunk of the apple tree and thought of how she had made such a terrible mess of things. She could only ask God to forgive her.
If only I’d never had that crazy idea of making Jeff jealous, she thought. It seemed so harmless at the time, but now—how in the world am I ever going to tell Cecil the truth?
All afternoon she tossed the problem back and forth, trying to find some way out. She went upstairs and began a letter to Cecil. But though she started three of them, whatever she said sounded silly, or trite, or cruel. She threw down the quill and for the rest of the day took care of the little girl.
Leah slept fitfully that night and arose feeling drugged and miserable. After breakfast she spent part of the morning playing with Esther. She was fascinated by the golden-haired child and her patter and for a time was almost able to forget her problems.
At eleven o’clock, however, she heard a horse pull up outside. She went to a window, and her heart sank. “It’s Cecil.”
When Cecil entered, she knew that there could be no more putting off what she had to do.
“Hello, Leah,” he said, smiling and removing his hat. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come by, but they’ve kept me pretty busy at headquarters.”
“That’s all right.”
“I think we can go out for a walk tonight. I believe I can get off. Maybe we can go get some more ice cream.”
“Cecil … I’ve got something to tell you, and it’s not going to be very easy.”
He probably saw the trouble in her eyes. “What is it? Not bad news from home?”
“No, nothing like that … I … I got a letter from my brother, Royal. He’s engaged to a girl in Atlanta. They’re going back to Pineville after the war and get married there.”
“Why, that’s fine. Say, maybe you and I could go there too, and it could be a double wedding.”
Leah saw the happiness in the lieutenant’s thin face, and she swallowed hard. But she knew what had to be said.
“Cecil,” she began slowly and with great difficulty, “I’ve always been fond of you. Ever since I came to Richmond. Even when I didn’t behave very well, you were always kind to me. And I didn’t always behave well.”
“I don’t know as I’ve noticed you misbehaving, Leah.”
She shook her head impatiently. “Well, I have, and if you stop and think about it, you could remember a few times when I needed to be spanked. But now I’ve done something that I’m really ashame
d of, and I’ve got to tell you about it.”
Cecil looked bewildered. “What is it, Leah? You can tell me anything.”
Leah forced herself to meet his eyes. “Cecil, I’m so honored that you’ve asked me to be engaged to you. It’s the highest honor a man can pay to a girl—and I’ll never forget what you’ve done.” Taking a deep breath, she said stiffly, “But we can never be married, Cecil.”
All the happiness went out of his face. He stared at her in disbelief. “But—but, Leah, I thought that you cared for me.”
“I do like you—very much. We’ve been such good friends, but …”
His face seemed to collapse. “But, Leah,” he said, “you’ve been so anxious to be with me the past few weeks. I thought that meant you cared.”
She shook her head. “I do care. Very much, indeed. But in the first place, Cecil, with this war on, who knows how it will end, or where it will end? It’s no time to be even thinking about marriage.”
“The colonel did … and now you say your brother’s going to get married …”
Trapped, Leah said, “I know, but they’re older. I’m only seventeen. I know some girls get married at that age, but … well … I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment yet. And I don’t think you are either, Cecil. I know you like me, and I like you. But it’s just not time for things like that.”
He stared at her, disappointment written all over him. “You’re not telling me the whole truth, Leah. I can tell. There’s something wrong with the way you look.”
Then Leah knew that she had to tell him everything. She had confessed her wrong to God, but now she had to confess to this boy she had hurt so deeply. She hesitated only briefly. “I told you I don’t always behave as I should, and I’ve done a terrible thing to you, Cecil. I made up to you to make Jeff jealous.”
Cecil’s thin face turned pale. For a moment he seemed to freeze.
“Oh, Cecil, I’m so sorry!”
“So you were just playing with me?”
“Don’t put it like that!”
His lip quivered. He bit it then and straightened up. His voice was thin and filled with disappointment and hurt as he said, “I didn’t think you would do that to me, Leah. I thought you were a different kind of person.”
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