Oiled Love God rolled his eyes, ‘So noisy up here now, used to be special.’
‘Oh it is,’ I breathed.
‘But it has crowded now,’ he glared towards the couple. The girl caught the look and blushed. ‘I need to look elsewhere in the city now for the resting.’
‘Oh.’
Oiled Love God waved a hand at me, ‘It will do for now.’
I looked over at my sunlounger and noticed that Pete had moved. Frowning, I searched across the other beds and bars and then saw him, lying on his back reading at the end of the roof terrace.
‘We go have drink now, yes?’
I didn't really hear him, realised that I didn't want to be here with this man. I found myself moving across to the steps quickly.
‘It was lovely to meet you but you see…’ I trailed off as I waded away. Wrapping myself in my towel and picking up my book I took a breath and walked across the terrace, the ground warming the soles of my feet.
My silhouette cast a shadow across his body and I put my hands on my hips. ‘Um, excuse me,’ I prompted, ‘I was thinking of forming a book club in Singapore and am recruiting members. I am hoping to get a representative from your country and was wondering if you could assist?’
Pete paused then reached a hand up to his chin, rubbing the side of his face. Sitting up, he went to speak. I felt my throat go dry. I waited for his reply.
‘I'm nervous you might go too quickly for me,’ he said.
I breathed out, feeling a light laugh bubbling to the surface. ‘We like to read at the pace of the slowest in the group,’ I replied. ‘So are you interested?’
Pete placed his own book down on the lounger and looked up at me. He really did have the widest shoulders, and the dimple in his chin that seemed more prominent when he smiled at me was making my knees go wobbly.
‘I'd be delighted,’ he confirmed. ‘What will we be reading?’
‘That is a very good question. I thought we might be able to have a drink over there and discuss these kinds of important questions. I was thinking something from Russia might work. Have you heard of Dostoevsky?’
About the Author
Rosie spent her teenage years writing diaries and rambling emails. At Bristol University she started writing pantomimes (people still speak with fondness about the 2002 production ‘The Wizard of Odd: Search for the Ruby Strippers’). Since then Rosie has written features, blogs and short stories for Cosmopolitan magazine, The Lady Magazine, Best Magazine, The Sunday People, Yahoo and Berkshire Life. She also started writing books. After some false starts, and horrendous jobs that she wishes to keep a closely guarded secret (or write about in the future), her debut novel HOW TO GET A (LOVE) LIFE was published in January 2014 with Novelicious Books and has since sold in Germany and Italy.
Website: www.rosieblake.co.uk
Twitter: www.twitter.com/RosieBBooks
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RosieBlake
Visit www.sunloungerstories.com to discover more about the authors and their story destinations.
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A Costume Drama
***
Tracy Bloom
DESTINATION: Florida
‘So did they tell you what happened to the last one?’
‘Last what?’
‘Last Prince Charming.’
‘No.’
‘She broke his jaw.’
‘Who did?’
‘Cinderella, of course.’
‘Cinderella? You’re not serious?’
‘I am.’
‘How did she do that?’
‘Rumour has it she lured him into the Enchanted Forest then jumped out from behind a talking toadstool and flattened him.’
‘Is that why they’ve asked me to be the emergency Prince Charming?’
‘What were you doing before?’
‘Seaweed.’
‘Seaweed!’
‘I was very good at being Seaweed actually.’
‘Seaweed replacing Prince Charming? Whatever next?’ Betty sighed and took a step back from Charlie, looked him up and down disdainfully before sticking a pin into the waist band of his high-waisted trousers.
‘Ow,’ he cried as Betty mistook his belly for a pincushion. Not that Betty could pierce his current happy mood. He’d been sky high ever since the parade director had lined up all the Seaweed, Crustaceans, Rocks and Jellyfish and chosen him to be the emergency Prince Charming in the costume character parade that would be strutting down the main boulevard of the theme park in less than an hour. Ever since he’d arrived in Florida hoping that a season at the Orlando theme parks would be his stepping-stone to fame and fortune he’d been waiting for an opportunity like this. A chance to shine as well as show that cow of an ex-girlfriend he could make it without her. Louisa had very publicly dumped him after they’d both auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent where Charlie’s rendition of “We Met at a Car Boot Sale”, a love song dedicated to her, had failed to impress any of the judges. Louisa, however, had faired better singing Cliff Richard covers to get the oldies voting in their droves. Despite losing out in the final to a transvestite yodeler from Albania she’d been hailed as a young Susan Boyle and promptly told Charlie he wasn’t good for her image anymore. Unable to face the rejection from her and Simon Cowell, Charlie had fled to the land where anything was possible. He then got a job performing as Seaweed and fell in love with a princess.
‘She didn’t really break his jaw did she?’ Charlie asked Betty, hoping it was the sort of catty Chinese whisper that often circulated the bitchy world of theme park costume characters.
‘One of the Dwarfs says she did,’ replied Betty, now kneeling at his feet, sewing up the hem of his trousers.
‘And a Dwarf would know would he?’ asked Charlie.
‘Dwarves see things that other’s don’t,’ said Betty. ‘A lower perspective can be very insightful,’ she continued, looking up from where she was crouched, right in front of his crotch.
‘Proves nothing,’ dismissed Charlie. ‘I can’t believe she would ever do anything like that. She’s too…perfect.’
‘Not another one,’ Betty sighed, getting up and slamming scissors on the counter. ‘Why is it everyone always falls for Cinderella?’
‘Because she’s beautiful and I am her handsome English Prince come to rescue her.’ Charlie bent with a flourishing bow, which did nothing to impress Betty who’d worked at the park for twenty-five years and had literally seen it all.
‘You’re not English are you?,’ she asked.
‘Of course I am. Geordie, born and bred. Charles of Newcastle at your service.’
‘Really? You don’t sound English. I thought you were Australian.’
‘Australian!’ exclaimed Charlie. ‘Could you be any more insulting?’
‘Well I can’t understand a word they’re saying most of the time either.’
‘No, I’m definitely English. Cinderella will not be able to resist this accent, especially when I tell her I’m Charles of New Castle. Do you see what I did there? New…Castle, of the United Kingdom.’
‘Well on your head be it,’ sighed Betty, placing a three-quarter length brocade coat on his shoulders that Charlie instantly knew would make him sweat for England in the Orlando sunshine. ‘There’s many tried and many failed and some even sustained serious injury. You just be careful out there.’
Charlie discovered a princely swagger as he stepped out into the holding area backstage where everyone jostled for position in preparation for the parade. His fellow Seaweeders wolf-whistled as he strutted towards them then laughed as he tripped over his three-sizes-too-big, knee-high boots. It was generally agreed by the male members of the Undersea section that Cinderella was the fittest girl in the parade by far and they were all mad with jealousy that Charlie was going to be her emergency Prince Charming.
‘Steady lad,’ said Andy from Yorkshire, ballroom ch
ampion of the Northwest. ‘Cinders ain’t goin’ to be impressed if you fall head first into her cleavage.’
‘Might be a bit forward,’ agreed Charlie. ‘Wish me luck,’ he said, thrusting his hand towards his comrade. Andy struggled to poke his arm out from underneath the multiple layers of fluorescent green polyester, masquerading as sprawling seaweed.
‘You go get her,’ said Andy. ‘For all us Seaweeders. Show ’em how it’s done.’
‘Yeah!’ cried the rest of the Seaweeds. ‘Charming, Charming, Charming, Charming,’ they chanted as he continued his swagger towards the Cinderella section, taking care not to trip over his boots.
‘Hi,’ he muttered to himself. ‘I’m Prince Charming. Know any good balls?’ was his planned opening line, except he didn’t get the chance to deliver it. As soon as he spotted her sparkling like an angel as the sun reflected off her tiara, she advanced towards him and offloaded her opening line instead.
‘Where the fuck have you been?’ she exclaimed, shoving a cushion and a glass slipper into his arms. ‘I need you to get me into my carriage.’
Charlie could already feel sweat pouring down his back in the mid-afternoon heat and the colour that rose to his cheeks the minute she spoke to him did nothing to cool him down. She was even more beautiful up close. He was mesmerized by the blue of her eyes and barely heard what was coming out of her mouth, just watched as her lips moved as she spoke to him. She reached forward and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards her elaborate carriage. Wow, he thought. She was holding his hand and he was about to ride in her carriage. He helped Cinderella climb aboard, arranging her billowing folds around her, then went to climb in.
‘Not you, you cretin,’ she said, pushing him back out again. ‘You walk alongside with the Ugly Sisters.’
‘Oh, so sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t realise. Actually, I was Seaweed.’
‘What?’ she glared.
‘I was Seaweed in the parade before I was Prince Charming. Not a cretin.’ He bellowed with nervous laughter at his own joke.
‘Whatever,’ she replied, waving him away. ‘She’ll tell you what to do.’
He turned to see an Ugly Sister standing next to him. She was dressed in an acre of red velvet, ruched all over her ample curves. She had on a black wig that towered at least a foot above her head and her whited out face was complimented by a single mole on her left cheek and two blacked out teeth.
‘Diana,’ said the sister thrusting out her hand and shaking his vigorously. ‘Diana Ross.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, really. My father was an idiot. So, glad we’ve got family history done with. Now do you want me to talk you through the drill?’
‘If you wouldn’t mind?’ said Charlie.
‘Always walk slightly behind Cinderella. If you don’t, she’ll make your life hell. Blocks everyone’s view of her. Hold the cushion in your right hand, keeping it level with your elbow at all times. Royal wave with left hand and Viennese Waltz face turned towards the crowd.’
‘Viennese Waltz face?’
‘Yeah, you know, aloof, smug, self-satisfied. I get to do the Paso Doble face. Angry, confrontational, really bad hangover type of thing.’
‘Oh I get it. Do you mean like this?’ he said, pulling a face.
‘You look constipated.’
‘I’ll practice.’
‘Good idea. Now, anything else I can help you with?’
Charlie glanced over his shoulder at Cinderella nervously.
‘Does she have a boyfriend?’ he asked under his breath.
Diana sighed. ‘And there’s me thinking you might just be different. No, she doesn’t have a boyfriend.’
‘Any tips?’ he asked. ‘You must know. You work with her every day.’
‘Are you sure?’ asked Diana incredulous. ‘Did you hear what happened to the last one that tried?’
‘From what I hear we only have a Dwarf’s word for that incident.’
Diana stared at Charlie and shook her head. ‘Dopey, I’ll have you know, is the most honest man I’ve ever met. Now if it had been Bashful, well that might be a different story.’
‘Look, I’ll take my chances,’ urged Charlie, worried the parade was about to start. ‘I just want to get to know her.’
Diana sighed again. ‘Well there’s a Cast Castaway on Friday. You could have a go then.’
‘Cast Castaway?’
‘A bunch of us are going to take jobs on a cruise ship. It’s our leaving party. She’ll be there, lording it over everyone no doubt.’
‘Brilliant,’ said Charlie, staring at Diana wide-eyed. ‘Do you mean you’d invite me?’ Charlie couldn’t believe his ears. The likes of Seaweed never got asked to parties held by members of the principle cast. The rest of the Undersea section would be beside themselves with jealousy.
Diana looked him up and down and hesitated for what seemed like an age.
‘Go on then,’ she said eventually. ‘You can come.’
‘Thank you!’ exclaimed Charlie. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘You’re welcome,’ nodded Diana, unable to stop her-self smiling at his excitement.
‘This is so amazing,’ said Charlie, barely able to contain himself. ‘Now I’m going to have to really impress her at the party. She’s bound to have loads of men after her. I need to think of something that will make me stand out from the crowd.’ He paced up and down in his oversized knee-high boots thinking hard about what could possibly make him seem special at the party in Cinderella’s eyes.
‘I know what would really sweep her off her feet,’ said Diana eventually, just as he was starting to feel desperate.
‘Oh yeah, what? Tell me, tell me.’
‘If you took her out of the corner,’ she said, leaning forward to whisper in his ear.
‘Excuse me?’
‘If you took her out of the corner,’ she repeated. ‘Every girl dreams of being taken out of the corner.’
‘Is this like some weirdo American thing?’
‘No!’ she cried. ‘You know. Like in Dirty Dancing when Patrick Swayze takes Baby out of the corner and they do some seriously good dancing. Oh my God, no woman can resist that and I know Cinderella loves to dance. If you did that, well she’s practically in the bag.’
‘Really. Are you sure?’
‘You dance like Patrick Swayze with her, she’s yours,’ confirmed Diana nodding.
‘Dance!’ exclaimed Charlie. ‘I’m not a dancer, I’m a singer. Simon Cowell has rejected me, it’s on my CV. How the bloody hell am I going to learn to dance like that bloke by Friday?’
‘I can teach you,’ said Diana. ‘It just so happens I majored in Latin at dance school.’
‘You will. Really?’
‘Yeah sure. We’ll have to practice every day though if you’re going to get it by Friday. No slacking. If you’re going to do this, you have to do it properly.’
He looked back at Cinderella who had painted a Charleston-style happy smile on her face and looked more stunning than he had ever seen her as the sunlight glinted through her hair.
‘I’m up for it,’ he nodded. ‘Because she’s worth it.’
‘OK then, lover boy. Let’s meet at the rehearsal room later and see what you’ve got. Now get that Viennese Waltz face on. It’s time for the show.’
*
When Charlie arrived at the rehearsal room after the parade, Diana was nowhere in sight. A petite girl strode in with the most glorious head of dark curls and walked straight to the back of the room to put some music on, not spotting Charlie in the corner.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘But I’ve arranged to meet someone here to rehearse.’
The girl turned to look at him and cracked up.
‘It’s me,’ she said as music filled the air. ‘You ready?’ She strode towards him, took his hands and looked up expectantly.
‘I’m meeting someone here,’ he repeated.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘It’s me Diana. Diana Ross.’
&n
bsp; ‘What?’ spluttered Charlie. He looked more closely at the girl standing in front of him. He took in her curvy frame, bouncy brown curls and smooth chocolate skin before spotting her big brown eyes with enormously long lashes. It was Diana, but she looked entirely different to the ugly sister he remembered in the towering wig, lumpy frock, blacked-out teeth and whited-out face.
‘I guess you don’t recognize me out of costume,’ she said.
‘No, I was actually about to say that you’re really quite attractive. You know, for an Ugly Sister.’
‘Oh great, thanks,’ she replied. ‘I’ll take that as a compliment, shall I?’
‘No, you know what I mean. I just didn’t expect…’
‘I know exactly what you mean,’ she said, looking away. ‘Shall we get on with it? If you’re going to dance as well as Patrick Swayze you’d better start paying attention. We are going to start with the Mambo.’
‘The Mambo?’
‘Yeh.’
‘What’s the Mambo?’
Diana gave a big sigh.
‘The first dance Johnny teaches Baby.’
‘OK. Right, let’s go for it.’ Charlie stood to attention his elbows raised in the air.
‘What are you doing?’
‘It’s my topline. I watch the dance shows. I know it’s all about your topline.’
‘Well that’s a start I guess,’ sighed Diana again. ‘But we have to loosen you up a bit if you are going to nail Sir Swayze.’ Diana grabbed his hips from behind and rotated them in time to the tune coming out of the speakers.
‘Hey,’ protested Charlie. ‘I can’t make my hips do that,’ he said struggling to get them into the positions that Diana appeared to want to put them in.
‘Of course you can.’
‘No seriously, I can’t. I’m sorry but I don’t think I can do this,’ he said pulling away from her, his confidence suddenly deserting him.
SUNLOUNGER 2: Beach Read Bliss (Sunlounger Stories) Page 9