Lucinda’s parent’s owned a house in Camps Bay and we were staying there along with the bride and most of the bridal party. We pulled into a windowed double garage on the top of a cliff with the ocean reaching out before us as the gulls announced how enthusiastic they were to have it as their dinner table.
‘Luc, this is incredible.’
She smiled at me knowingly. ‘You haven’t seen anything yet.’
That was hard to imagine because we were standing quite literally on the edge of the world. Around us were a few more cliff-top garages, but no houses. I knew this real estate was probably very expensive, but I wondered how much her parents had sprung for a box with a view?
James grabbed our bags and we got into the elevator at the back of the garage to take us to the house, which made more sense than twelve people sleeping in a double garage. After descending for a few seconds, the doors opened up to a grand living room full of beautiful women in full makeup frantically fussing with tulle and ribbons. From far away it looked like we’d walked into a Kardashian-esque anthill.
‘Sorry to bring you straight into the mouth of the beast, but Lisse has turned into a bit of a monster.’ James frowned and disappeared down the hallway.
I watched the bride command several women around her tying bows on programs and gluing tiny flowers onto pale blue boxes. She glanced up, spotted Lucinda and ran towards her with a combination of relief and expectation. ‘Luc, darling, can you—’
‘No.’ Lucinda cut her off and followed James down the hallway, beckoning me to join her.
‘Why…?’
‘She’s gone completely mental. Just because she fired her bloody wedding planner, doesn’t mean I need to pick up the job.’
‘She fired her wedding planner?’ Bridezilla didn’t cover it.
‘Apparently Lisse hated the flowers but we all know it’s because she found out her fiancée, Pieter, dated the planner when they were teenagers.’
This was too much drama for one wedding already and very incestual. Surely there were more than a handful of people in all of Cape Town to date?
Lucinda showed me to our room. ‘Sorry chicken, we will have to share because Lisse is treating the house like her personal hotel, but we have the best view.’ She pulled open the curtains.
The waves crashed against a giant rock in front of the window as the sun glittered off the ocean making it seem like a million-carat diamond. Suddenly the floor to ceiling windows parted. I turned to see Lucinda smiling and pushing a button. ‘We have our own plunge pool and deck, so if you need peace and quiet, don’t be shy.’
I walked out onto the deck and sat on the plush Tiffany-blue sunlounger. The salty air enveloped me as I felt the tension in my muscles slowly melt away. Mesmerized by the sparkles, I didn’t even notice Lucinda pop the bottle of champagne.
‘Welcome to my country, darling.’ She smiled as she handed me the glass of bubbles.
This was my paradise.
The glass of champagne and hypnotic waves had me more ready for a nap than swimming with penguins, but James knocked on our door insisting that it was time to go. I Superman’d my shower, pulled my hair into a messy bun and threw on a flowy pink sundress over my bikini. Cape Town was definitely a ‘wear a bikini just in case’ type of place. The penguins nested at Boulders Beach, and we went ahead of the rest of the bridal party who was meeting us in nearby Simon’s Town for a sunset cruise rehearsal dinner around Cape Point.
When we arrived at the sign pointing towards the beach forty-five minutes later, James kept driving. ‘You’re not a tourist when you’re with us.’ He shook his head at the group of tourists waiting in line to walk across the bridge and stare at the penguins.
A further ten minutes of driving and we were winding down a tiny residential street towards the ocean. We found a small space in a makeshift car park off the side of the road and finally it was time to get out. I opened the car door to stretch my legs and get in some tanning. When your legs were the fluorescent white mine were, every second in the sun counted. While Lucinda fussed with her beach bag, I read the sign next to the car.
Warning: Please look under your vehicles for penguins
There was a tiny roadside sign next to it with a car and a penguin underneath it.
Oh my god I was going to see real penguins and I wasn’t wearing a snowsuit! I ran in the general direction of the water and down a tiny ramp only to stop short. There was a penguin waddling slowly down the ramp in front of me.
‘Lucinda! Luc! There’s a penguin here! A real one! And it’s WALKING!’
She sauntered up behind me and delicately held her sunhat on her head as it got caught in the warm ocean breeze, ‘Great. You saw one, now can we leave?’
I whipped my head around at her. ‘No, not until we see a baby one.’
Lucinda shook her head and tried to stifle her grin by pulling her sunglasses down to look me straight in the eyes. ‘I swear to god Paige, if I see you try and touch one…’
‘I won’t, I promise!’ Complete lie. I was definitely petting a penguin.
We followed the penguin onto a deserted beach and I realized why it was deserted as soon as my flip-flop landed in something squishy. The majority of the beach was covered in penguin poo. Guess that’s why the tourists opted for the bridge.
‘Come on, there’s a great view over here and we may even see some sharks.’ James pushed through us and towards a giant boulder. There was a tiny cave we climbed through which opened up onto an even bigger beach and at least a hundred penguins waddling away. I watched one lumber its way into the water and then turn into an agile torpedo as soon as it was waist deep. I ran into the water after it to watch it go.
Lucinda chased after me. ‘Sharks eat penguins. Lots of penguins means lots of sharks. Don’t go in the water.’ She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the rocks.
We sat down and watched the waves come in. The crashing was so loud I didn’t notice a friend had joined us. Right next to me was a little fat black and white penguin cocking his head from side to side trying to decide what I was. Giggling, I pointed my index finger towards it in a tickling motion. It snapped its beak and I screeched. In response, the penguin threw its head back and bleated at me like a donkey. Tumbling off the rock I screamed and stared at the penguin, apparently going through an exorcism. Lucinda was laughing so hard she was practically crying and James was taking pictures between chuckles.
‘What the…?’
‘They are called jackass penguins,’ Lucinda explained once she got her breath back, ‘because they sound like donkeys.’
Another one started yelling behind me and then a third joined him. The whole thing was starting to feel a bit too aggressive for my taste. ‘Maybe we should go.’
James looked back at the waves, ‘The tide snuck up on us, we’ll have to go through some water.’
I started to complain, ‘Aren’t there shar—’
A massive penguin suddenly charged at me flapping his wings and doing his donkey noise.
We all ran laughing towards the crack in the boulder, which was now filled with water that went just above Lucinda’s knees and almost to my waist. This was the dress I was supposed to wear to the rehearsal dinner so I hiked it up and thanked myself for wearing the bikini underneath.
‘I got you.’ James picked me up and hoisted me onto his back while Lucinda waded gracefully holding her peach bridesmaid rehearsal dress above the water in front of us.
James didn’t put me down until we got back to the car. All the muscles in his body rippled underneath me as he let me down gently and I was suddenly very sad he liked boys.
Lucinda and I checked under the car for penguins while James started the air conditioning. We were all a little too wet for a wedding rehearsal dinner, but considering a penguin had almost eaten us, I thought we were in pretty good shape.
However, when we rocked up to the mega yacht a few minutes later, Lisse did not think we were in great shape. In fact, she almost didn’t l
et us onto the boat because we smelled like penguin poo and salt water. Evidently that wasn’t ‘rehearsal dinner appropriate’.
‘Fine, see you at the house.’ Lucinda didn’t want to be here anyway, so the bird feces aside, this was a win.
‘I can’t have an uneven number,’ Lisse hissed under her breath. ‘Rinse off in the bathroom and go stand with the other bridesmaids.’
The three of us marched through the luxury yacht holding our shoes so as not to spread the smell. The bathroom was spacious for being on a boat, but not enough for us to all get in at once, so we took turns rinsing off while Lucinda sighed loudly. Her stress level was hitting orange and we’d yet to see her ex.
All cleaned up we entered the party properly, with James and I acting as ass-hat guards for Lucinda. There were forty people on the yacht, which had already set sail for the cape, and there wasn’t one I’d pick out as someone Lucinda would sit next to in a dark movie theatre, never mind date.
A sharp intake of breath and Lucinda grabbed my hand, her steely expression fixated on a plump leprechaun at the other end of the room flanked by Lucinda’s doppelganger, bridesmaid rehearsal dress and all.
‘Really?’ I couldn’t help myself, but I’d seen her bat away guys far better looking than him while we were in London. This guy didn’t seem like someone to lose your mind over.
She pulled me to the side and we hid behind James. ‘I didn’t love Michael for his looks.’
Well, obviously. ‘Luc, you’re a great catch – why are you letting him make you feel this way?’
‘I don’t know chicken, something about Michael is charismatic. He’s successful. He has drive. He knows what he wants and he gets it. All he wanted from me was a pretty tall blonde.’
My heart gave a pang. When people feel they are being used for something, it’s usually because it’s all they think they have to offer. Lucinda was so much more than a pretty face. She was smart and successful and believed in me when nobody else did. It was so unlike her to be this way.
I watched Michael take a sip of scotch and flash the Hublot on his wrist, diamond-crusted face visible from where I stood. Why would anyone wear a watch that cost more than the average car? And furthermore, parade it around as if it vouched for you as a person.
Michael’s fiancée rested her left hand on his arm. Her engagement ring resembled the giant novelty rings you played dress-up with as a kid. Her face was stuck in a Stepford wife half smile, with full pouty red lips, false eyelashes and smoky eyes trying to mask the vacant look behind her eyes. Girls and makeup is like guys and money. Both are used to cover up flaws.
Michael laughed and his gaze found Lucinda. He scanned her up and down discretely and then put his arm around his fiancée. The irrational part of me wanted to kick him in the balls and she seemed to be in control because before I realized what was happening I was marching my way over to the little jerk who made my best friend feel so small.
‘You…’ My brain was so angry it forgot how to say words.
‘Paige is it?’ The little guy smiled. ‘I’m Michael and this is my fiancée, Layla.’ The tall blonde next to him forced a plastic smile and flashed her ring at me as proof.
‘I…’ people were starting to pay attention to our conversation and I saw Lisse’s head twitch. Her wedding-ruiner radar was up and honing in on me. ‘Can I speak with you in private?’
‘Certainly.’ He smiled, took his glass of scotch on the rocks and followed me to the second terrace. Layla began to protest but one look from Michael and she was silenced. This guy sucked the life out of women like those dementors sucked happiness from people in Harry Potter.
As soon as we were out of earshot I turned to yell at him, but he cut me off before I could get in the first round of verbal punches. ‘Paige, I understand why you might be upset with me. Things with Lucinda and I just didn’t work out. It was years ago and I was a bloody idiot. Hasn’t that ever happened with you?’
Well, obviously it had, but that didn’t give him the right to make Lucinda feel like crap.
‘Listen, if I knew what I could say to Lucinda to make her feel better I would, but every time I try and talk to her, she just yells at me. It’s up to her to forgive. I can’t force that.’
Ugh, he was right again, and I didn’t have a come-back. What kind of mind wizard was this guy?
‘You cheated on her.’
‘We were young and made bad decisions. I know I’ve grown and learned from it and I hope she sees that. I just want her to be happy.’ The upturned eyebrows and forehead wrinkled with concern won me over.
I just wanted her to be happy too. Maybe this thing was blown completely out of proportion? If Lucinda would listen to him, she would definitely feel better. Michael gave me a smile full of crooked teeth and took a sip of his drink.
‘Ok, I’ll talk to her and see if we can put this all behind us.’ I sighed and watched the sun paint the sky like a rainbow sorbet.
Michael’s hand moved onto my ass. ‘I’d like to put it behind you as well,’ he whispered into my ear.
Just as I was about to punch him in the face I felt a push from behind.
Layla screaming, ‘You bitch!’ was the last thing I heard as I went overboard into the surprisingly cold water.
‘Lucinda! Luc! Help!’ I screamed and splashed while also trying to watch for sharks.
I was totally going to die out here.
‘Paige!’ James yelled from the boat and then jumped in after me.
Ten seconds later Michael shouted, ‘I’ll save her!’
There was another splash.
‘Paige? Paige!’ Lucinda was trying to will me towards the boat with her screams. ‘James, grab her!’
The waves obscured my vision as I tried to keep one eye on the boat and the other one scanning for sinister fins. My heart was beating so fast I was worried it would explode.
The yacht came to an abrupt halt and the captain threw out three life preservers.
James had me around the waist and was repeating slowly, ‘It’s OK, I’ve got you,’ until I finally stopped splashing.
‘Thank you,’ I sputtered between my chattering teeth as James grabbed the life preserver and swam with me towards the yacht. The air was hot, but the ocean was like an ice bath.
‘Miiiichael!’ Layla was screaming uncontrollably from the terrace while the captain pulled him in. James pushed me up onto the boat first and then hoisted himself up while everyone on the yacht stared in stunned silence. We were both laying down on the lower platform, breathing hard and relieved not to have been mistaken for a penguin.
‘Paige? Are you OK?’ James looked like the cover of a romance novel, hair messy and wet, white button up shirt clinging to his body.
‘I was just trying to fix—’ I tried to explain to him between shallow breaths.
‘I know. I can see why my sister likes you. There’s an honesty to your crazy.’ He lifted his arm and brushed the wet hair off of my face.
We got up, were given towels and hunkered down in the bedroom with Lucinda until the boat returned to shore.
‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Lucinda smiled. ‘But I’m glad you did.’
‘Luc, I didn’t push him in the water.’
‘I know, but you defended me. I’m not sure why I let him get to me, but I promise you will have the old Lucinda back from now on. Now, where’s my champagne!’
We laughed and James went to get us some glasses. Watching the sky through the porthole, I sipped champagne and examined the oversized yellow harvest moon intensely because the dark part was on the bottom. South Africa really was magical, even the moon hung upside down.
*
‘Where are the eternity candles? Lucinda, have you made sure the chair covers were sorted?’ The next morning Lisse’s frantic shouting woke me and I checked my phone. The wedding wasn’t for another five hours. Why was it already def-con six? Quietly rolling out of my side of the bed, I let Lucinda sleep while I went to see who died. That had t
o be the only explanation for this insanity.
‘Lisse?’ I tried to get her attention as she paced around the living room shouting orders at people who were still in bed.
‘It’s uneven! I can’t do this!’
‘You’re going to need to be a little more specific than that.’
‘The bridesmaids. I kicked Layla out because of, well…’ Lisse glared at me, ‘you, but now there’s one extra groomsman. It’s over. I can’t do it.’
Lucinda joined us in the living room. ‘Is it too early for champagne?’
I tried not to laugh. ‘Not if it’s mixed with orange juice.’
Lisse began to sob when Lucinda handed her a mimosa. ‘This isn’t how it was supposed to be.’
Lucinda sighed loudly. ‘You’re going to throw your whole wedding away because you’re missing a bridesmaid?’
‘That and the flowers are awful and the programs aren’t finished and—’
‘Let me stop you there, darling. Lisse, I love you and we’re family so I’m going to be honest. Nobody gives a shit about the programs. Or the flowers. They are here for the free food and wine, and probably a bit of a dance. And, obviously to see you marry the love of your life.’
Lisse slumped onto the couch and started to cry harder. ‘Everything is going wrong.’
‘Everything, or are you trying to busy yourself because you’re upset that your future husband had a love life before you?’ Lucinda tutted and motioned for me to grab her a tissue.
‘What if he still has feelings for her?’ Lisse asked after a big sip of mimosa.
‘Did you have a boyfriend before Pieter?’ Lucinda asked matter-of-factly as she pulled a tissue out of the box I handed her.
‘Yes.’
‘Did you tell him you loved him?’
‘Well …ya, I guess, but—’
‘Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?’
SUNLOUNGER 2: Beach Read Bliss (Sunlounger Stories) Page 64