“Of course!” Luci replied, already walking towards the doorway to follow her parents. “And do let me know if you wish to visit anyone while we are here. Your sister, perhaps?”
Christina nodded and left, and Luci hurried to join her parents. They sat together and began talking all at once.
“What news from the two of you?” Luci finally asked, laughing. “You must tell me everything I’ve missed.”
Lady Thornshire shared the news from the Duchess of Hardigree’s residence, telling the most important details of her visit and the ball. Lord Thornshire in turn spoke of his new business venture, and Luci noted a sense of confidence and pride that she hadn’t seen in him throughout her last days in their home.
“But what of you? I want to know all about this illness. And what has happened to your head, you have a scar there,” Lady Thornshire said quietly, looking to the door. “Was it… was it your husband’s doing?”
“What? No. Absolutely not,” Luci cried, surprised at how much she wished to defend him. “It was all part of my ordeal.”
Leaving out any mention of the horrible Lord Stillscar and minimizing the full scope of their argument that night, Luci explained that she had merely run from the house and fallen. The time that she’d endured in the elements had caused her to become ill as a result. She could not help but notice that her parents exchanged a brief glance, one that gave her pause.
“What is it?” she asked, noting their silent exchange. “I told you, all is well now. Gideon has been most attentive and kind, shouldering the blame needlessly for my illness.”
“It is not only that, my dear,” her mother said. Lady Thornshire looked to her husband and cocked an eyebrow. He only cleared his throat and nodded briefly, so her mother continued. “I have had word that Lord Ambergrave may have some troubling secrets, ones that were disturbing to me.”
“What do you mean? Who said this?” Luci asked, still looking from her mother to her father and back again.
“It actually came to us through your aunt’s relative, but one whom she says is fully trustworthy in these sorts of matters. Has Lord Ambergrave told you anything of a fire at his home?”
“In truth, no,” Luci admitted, lowering her voice and thinking back through their conversations. “I know well enough that there was once a fire, for the house is still under repair and much work has been done. But I do not know of any particulars. I was hoping, in fact, that you might know something of it.”
“It all seems to be a mystery to everyone,” Lady Thornshire explained sadly. “Only that he was gravely injured—”
“Which I know about,” Luci interjected in a way that was meant to quell any discussion of the subject that was so upsetting to her husband.
“—but that his parents died at the time. This cousin seemed to imply that perhaps Lord Ambergrave had a hand in causing the fire, too,” her mother said.
Luci sat dumbfounded, trying to reconcile all the ways her husband had acted. So cold and aloof when they wed and she first spoke with him, then so callous and rage-filled when they argued, but then so doting and attentive in the days since then. To be certain, he was very secretive about a great many things: his business, the fire, the injury he had sustained, and even Collin at first. Now he was once again stoic and distant, though she knew not why as this visit had been his suggestion.
“We are only worried for your safety,” Lord Thornshire said in a very low tone, looking to the door from time to time to see that they were not overheard. “I chide myself every day that I did not learn more about this man before accepting his offer. In my panic, I feel I may have put you in harm’s way.”
Luci thought for a moment, weighing her parents’ concerns. She had always trusted their judgment in every matter, knowing how they adored her so. She nodded, and chose her own response carefully.
“I will be very careful,” she assured them, “but I also feel there is no cause for alarm. Lord Ambergrave is at times in an odd sort of mood, but he has not shown the slightest penchant for dangerous behaviors.”
“How can you be sure he is not only on his best behavior, simply because the marriage is still so new?” her mother asked.
“I suppose I cannot. But in these past few weeks, he has even neglected his own needs to stay by my bedside, to see to it that I receive proper care, even to attempt to fatten me up.” Luci laughed, then said soberly, “It is only a feeling, but I think he is a very good man with a strong character. Whatever transpired that terrible night, I cannot believe it was Lord Ambergrave’s doing.”
“I pray that you are right, daughter,” her father said gravely, “but know this. We will not let any harm come to you. You must only say the word and I will see to it that the matter is taken care of in a discreet way. If the need ever arises, you must only say so.”
Luci looked shocked, a sudden chill of fear settling over her. It was one thing to believe her parents were only concerned for her happiness, but quite another to know that they may fear for her safety. Her mind reeled with memories of every interaction she’d had with Gideon, with every cross word or unkind remark, but also every adoring sentiment and compliment.
“I think I should speak with him,” Luci said, rising to go. Her mother looked concerned but her father only nodded. “It will be all right, Mother. No harm will come to any of us.”
It took a few moments to locate Gideon’s chambers, but when she did, Luci found him standing on the wide balcony overlooking the gardens. A servant had been dispatched to serve as his valet in the absence of Gideon’s own, who had still not been employed after all these weeks.
“There you are,” Luci said brightly, joining Gideon outside. “I knocked at your door, but you must not have heard.”
“No, I did not,” he replied plainly, still standing at the low wall that ran the length of the balcony.
“You have been very quiet since we left Ashworth. I know that I have asked you if something is amiss and each time you’ve said rather abruptly that there is not,” she continued slowly, “but I’m afraid I have come to the decision that I do not believe you.”
Gideon turned sharply and stared at Luci, but the resolve on his face began to crumble. He shook his head sadly and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze.
“Yes, there is something amiss,” he admitted, “but I cannot explain it to you. I’m sorry. You have been very kind and devoted, but it is not a matter I can discuss.”
“You cannot discuss it even with your wife?” Luci chided, struggling to keep an even measure in her words as her ire grew.
“No, else I would. Instantly and without hesitation,” Gideon replied, still looking away. “But I am even more sorry that I’ve allowed the matter to upset you. I will do better at maintaining a pleasant demeanor.”
“See that you do,” she replied angrily, unconcerned with manners and proper decorum. “You are a guest in my parents’ home now and have given us all reason to believe that you wish to be anywhere but here. It is beyond rude, and now borders on inexcusable.”
“Luci, I’m—” Gideon started to say, but Luci had already turned and stormed back inside.
Gideon pounded his fist against the low stone wall, fuming. How had he allowed this to happen? He’d had a clear plan in mind when he sought Luci’s hand in marriage, and all of it had fallen to pieces. Everything he’d fought for during the years since his parents’ deaths was coming to ruin, and for what? A beautiful woman with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue?
“You’ve allowed your heart to take over where only your head should have ruled,” he muttered under his breath, still standing outside as the first tendrils of dusk began to approach. Instead of calming his nerves, the beauty of the surrounding gardens only irritated him more.
Why could I not have had this life? he thought miserably, looking from the towering willow trees to the flowing water of the brook, the place where their fronds brushed the surface and left endless circles of ripples in their wake. A loving family, a quiet h
ome… it’s all a man truly needs.
The irony of his longing suddenly speared his mind. All these years he had been fueled by anger and thoughts of dominating the objects of his vengeful feud. But he already had a beautiful home with serene fields, tenants who farmed the countryside at his whim, and now a lovely wife who sought to ensure his happiness.
Why was it not enough for him?
“But it could be,” Gideon whispered, tears of longing in his eyes as he watched a pair of swans glide gracefully across the water towards their nest for the night. “I have all of this and more, I have had it for years. There is no reason to carry this pain with me and refuse to let go of my hold on it.”
The moment of clarity was like a flash of lightning in Gideon’s mind. He had masked the agony of a single event long ago by encasing it in a shroud of rage. The anger lingered more than the grief, even more than the physical pain he’d endured. Losing his parents and his health in the course of one fateful evening had been the cruelest sort of torture, but even he had to admit that many others had faced similar circumstances. The difference was that they had not allowed their fates to eat at them, to destroy them body and soul until all that remained was an unloving shell of distant indifference.
Unloving… when he had a wife who sought to make him happy, tenants who proudly served him, a deserving, fatherless young boy who idolized him…
“I have everything,” he said sadly, “and I’ve fought for so long because I thought I had nothing.”
Gideon knew what he must do now. He had to find Luci, tell her the truth, and pray that she still retained a shred of the affection she might have grown towards of him. It was still possible, though, that she would banish him from her sight and never speak to him again.
“Luci!” Gideon called, racing indoors and out of his chambers, turning this way and that in the hallway until he might find her. As he hurried, his mind raced with wonder at how he might explain himself to her.
Turning the corner, Gideon collided sharply with a bitter-faced woman who cried out in surprise.
“My apologies, Miss Ross,” Gideon gushed, holding out his hands that he might prevent the woman from falling.
She swatted his hands away herself and straightened, then glared at him. “What is the meaning of this?”
“I’m sorry,” he replied formally, bowing slightly by way of apology, “but I must find Lady Ambergrave. It concerns a very important matter.”
The old governess narrowed her eyes in suspicion and spit out, “She is otherwise indisposed at the moment. Her mother is tending to her tears at this very moment.”
“Oh no, tears on my account, I presume?” he asked, concerned.
“No, of course not. My mistress is crying because they’re all out of hen’s eggs for breakfast in the morning,” she replied, sarcasm and disdain dripping in her words. “Of course you are the cause. What else would it be? What else has it been all these past few weeks?”
Gideon was stunned into silence by the woman’s accusation, but she only smirked before adding, “Oh, had you forgotten that I am employed by Lord Thornshire? We’re in his house now. I’m certain he does not wish me to speak so boldly to one of his peers, but then again, it’s not all of his peers who’ve absconded with his daughter and possibly intend to do her harm.”
“Harm?” Gideon whispered. “I would never…”
“But you already have,” Christina said darkly, leaning close so that only he might hear. “It matters not whether you intended it, the fact remains that you have done it. And I would have thought I would not have needed to speak to you about it again, yet here we are.”
“Only tell me where she is that I might redeem myself,” Gideon begged. “Where has she gone?”
“I’m certain you’ll see her at dinner, which is always served promptly at eight. Ask one of the servants if you cannot be troubled to find the dining room on your own,” she hissed before turning and storming away.
God, how that woman despises me, Gideon thought bitterly, only it wasn’t anger he felt this time. It was sadness.
I’ve done nothing to win her over or earn her good graces, she will always wonder if I’m set to hurt Luci.
Gideon wandered throughout the manor in hopes of finding Luci, but he could not. He did manage to stumble into rooms where various servants or even Lord Thornshire were occupied, but crept away lest he bother them.
She will be at dinner, I’m sure of it, and that is not far off. I will speak to her then and implore her to converse in private. I must make her see how I’ve erred before, but that the past is behind us now.
Chapter 23
As expected, dinner began at eight. Dressed and ready, Gideon began pacing the floor some thirty minutes earlier, waiting to go down until he felt certain it was an appropriate time. With time to spare, he made his way to the dining room in hopes of catching Luci as she would enter.
“Good evening, My Lady,” he said, bowing low when he caught sight of her. She was as beautiful as ever, and Gideon’s heart pinched briefly at the bland expression Luci wore.
She curtseyed low and replied only, “My Lord.”
Gideon offered her his arm, wounded when she looked at it briefly, looked to his face, then turned away. She placed her hand in his in a perfunctory way, with no trace of warmth or emotion. Ignoring this well-deserved slight, Gideon led her into the dining room where her parents were already milling together, speaking in a hushed tone.
“Luci, darling, you look lovely,” her mother said, and it did not escape Gideon’s notice that Lady Thornshire did not address him.
Whatever those two spoke about today must have severely altered her opinion of me. It is of no importance, though. I shall be as charming as I can. After we have dined, then I shall endeavor to explain everything to her.
The meal began amicably enough, with unimportant conversation peppered with compliments on the food and the place settings. Luci addressed Gideon only once—if “you’ll have to ask Lord Ambergrave” could be considered addressing him—when her father asked a question about the tenant farmers surrounding Ashworth Hall and she was unable to answer.
The discomfort of all present was both compounded and alleviated when Lady Thornshire put down her glass soundly and said, “What I really am curious to know about is this fire that occurred at Ashworth Hall. What happened, Lord Ambergrave?”
“Angeline,” Lord Thornshire said, a hint of warning in his single utterance.
“What?” she asked, turning to look at her husband with wide eyes. “Why, is there some reason I must not ask? There’s no reason to assume it was of a malicious nature. For all we know, there was a lightning strike one stormy evening, or a servant clearing away space in the attic overturned an oil lamp.”
“No, no,” Gideon interrupted, setting down his napkin beside his plate and looking around the table. “Lady Thornshire, it is quite all right. It is not something that I speak of often, but as I am married to your daughter whom you care for deeply, I feel you do have some right in being inquisitive.”
Gideon turned to look at Luci, never taking his eyes from her face as he said, “I was the one who started the fire.”
The knife fell from Luci’s hand and clattered to the floor with a loud, tinkling crash. She stared silently at Gideon in horror, even as her parents gasped and began peppering him with questions. He did not reply, he only watched Luci’s expression with a mixture of pain and humiliation.
Gideon started to speak, to explain the circumstances, but the arrival of the butler at Lord Thornshire’s elbow stopped him.
“My Lord, there is a visitor to see you. I have explained that you are at dinner with your family and are not to be disturbed, but he said it is a matter of great importance concerning both your family and your business affairs.”
“Very good, I suppose. Show him in,” Lord Thornshire said, casting a final look at Gideon before turning to see who might be interrupting their evening.
The butler bowed and le
ft, then returned moments later to announce, “My Lord, Bradley, Earl of Stillscar, is arrived and wishes to see you.”
Luci instantly felt faint. She must have looked as much, too, for her mother arose from her seat and came at once to stand beside her. On her other side, Gideon jumped from his chair so suddenly that it toppled over backwards, causing enough of a commotion that two servants entered.
Lord Thornshire rose last and turned to face the Earl. “What do you want?” he thundered, all good manners cast aside.
“It does not matter what he wants, he is to leave my presence at once,” Gideon shouted, his fists balling instinctively. “This villain is supposed to be in gaol for attacking Lady Ambergrave in my home and during my absence.”
“What?” Lady Thornshire demanded. She turned to her daughter and asked, “Is this true?”
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