by A F Kay
Even now, you keep secrets from the people closest to you. Worse, your friends suffer because of them. You could have destroyed that Bone Sculptor with a thought and a fraction of your Spirit. Instead, everyone risked their lives so you could keep the secret of your Core. Because if you didn’t, all of us, and millions more, would die from the consequences. Secrets can be good, necessary even.
Ruwen wanted to scream at Rami that she didn’t know anything. Instead, he pressed his lips together in frustration. She was right. As usual.
It still hurts, Ruwen said.
That I understand all too well.
Ruwen took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Rami spoke again. You know the pain of a secret. Your parents have been carrying theirs a lot longer.
It’s time to hear them, Ruwen said and opened the door.
The conversation in the dining hall stopped.
Clarysa Starfield screamed, something Ruwen had never heard his mom do before, and ran toward him. Colyn Starfield smiled and stood. Seeing his parents again after over a year made his heart stop, and his mind went blank. In a blink, Clarysa slammed into him, and they hugged fiercely.
Moments later, Ruwen’s dad wrapped his arms around them. They stood that way for a minute. Only the soft crying of Clarysa broke the silence.
“We’re so sorry,” Clarysa said.
Colyn released everyone and Clarysa stepped back. Her hair was red in the sunlight but looked dark in here. She wiped her cheeks and beamed up at Ruwen.
“What did you do to your hair?” Clarysa asked and then rubbed her hand over it.
“It looks good,” Colyn said.
Ruwen had gotten his dark hair from his dad but had preferred to keep it longer. Colyn had tried to convince Ruwen to cut it, since long hair, like cloaks, were easy to grab in a fight. Colyn had given up once Ruwen made it clear he would be a Mage, not a Fighter. Which was ironic since he now had short hair and the Fighter Class.
“I got too close to some spiders, and didn’t wash up in time,” Ruwen said. After a moment he continued, his mother’s first words still echoing in his head. “Why are you sorry?”
Clarysa’s face grew serious. “We abandoned you. For an entire year! I’m sick about it. One of us should have stayed with you.”
Colyn put his arm around Clarysa. “You know that wasn’t possible.”
The words shocked Ruwen. They weren’t upset with him, but with themselves.
Tremine approached. “I’ll let you three catch up.”
Ruwen and his family stepped out of the doorway and into the dining hall.
Clarysa hugged Tremine and when she’d let him go, Colyn stuck out his arm. “Thank you, Tremine, for keeping an eye on Ruwen. We owe you a great debt.”
“Nonsense,” Tremine said as he clasped arms with Colyn. “He is a kindred spirit, and having him around brought me joy.”
Tremine faced Ruwen. “I only told them of my—” Tremine struggled to finish the sentence and shook his head. “I explained why I killed you, and why I helped Naktos. Everything else they should hear from you.”
Tremine also lived with a lifetime of secrets, and Ruwen had only recently understood that cost. He stepped forward and hugged Tremine. “Thank you.”
Ruwen’s friend and mentor hugged him back tightly. After a moment, Tremine stepped away, his eyes glinting. “I’ll see you all in the morning. I’m going to check on Bliz.”
Tremine left, and the three of them stood in silence.
“I came looking for you as soon as I could,” Ruwen said, his guilt forcing the words out.
Clarysa frowned and took Ruwen’s hand. “That should never have been your burden, but I have no doubt Uru intended it. She should have warned us of the danger here. I’m sure our deaths were part of her plan. Just one more sacrifice this family has made.”
“It was brave but foolish to risk coming here,” Colyn said. “You only just Ascended. I’m heartsick at the risks you took to find us.”
“So you’re not mad at me for taking so long?” Ruwen asked.
Both Ruwen’s parents looked confused, and Colyn spoke. “Why would we be mad at you? We own this mistake.”
“The only person I’m angry with is Uru,” Clarysa said.
A year’s worth of guilt slid off Ruwen’s back, and he smiled. He had been completely wrong about his parents and the situation. It meant the rest of his worries were likely wrong as well. Tremine had put a seed of doubt in Ruwen’s mind regarding how his parent’s group had died. But seeing his parents now, he knew they could never do such a heinous act. Everything was going to be okay.
“And I’m angry with your dad and me for dying here and leaving you alone for a year,” Clarysa said. She bit her lip. “It breaks my heart you had to Ascend alone.”
Talk of Ruwen’s Ascension made him think of High Priest Fusil and how angry the priest had been at Ruwen for his parents’ alleged misdeeds. Because of the time compression Rami had used on Ruwen in the Spirit Realm when teaching him Steps, those experiences happened almost five years ago.
Maybe because Ruwen had shouldered those rumors alone as a fifteen year old orphan for over a year, they still felt fresh and powerful. Even with all the new secrets he’d learned about his parents and himself, which upset him too, that year alone had left deep marks.
“I’m so glad all this is behind us,” Ruwen said. “I think the hardest part about your absence were the rumors.”
“What rumors?” Colyn asked.
Ruwen laughed, thinking how ridiculous his doubt and fear had been. “Because you two didn’t revive with the rest of your party in Deepwell, everyone thought you killed your group and stole the terium. But now we know that for some reason you queued here, and that explains what happened. You both died, too. Everyone lied about you.”
Ruwen’s parents locked gazes. After a moment, his smile faltered. “That’s what happened, right?”
Colyn faced Ruwen. “You’re right, we did die here, which is why we didn’t revive in Deepwell.”
Ruwen sighed in relief. He’d known a logical explanation existed. One that didn’t involve his parents killing everyone.
Clarysa pinched the bridge of her nose for a few seconds and then tried to speak. She cleared her throat and tried again. “But before we died here,” she paused and swallowed hard. “Before that, we executed our entire party.”
Chapter 38
Ruwen stared at his mom, her words like a punch to his stomach. “What? Why would you do that?”
Clarysa bit her lip.
Colyn looked around. Even though they were the only ones here, he pointed down the hall. “Let’s take this conversation outside.”
Ruwen numbly followed his parents out of the temple, and into the night. The Temple Guardians’ low hum filled the night air as they circled the city. A slight breeze fell from the mountains, cooling his skin. How could the terrible things said about his family be true?
Colyn looked up at the tall silos next to the temple. “That’s how Izac’s Mage killed us. He hid up there, out of reach. Then trapped us outside.”
“We should have expected it,” Clarysa said.
Ruwen realized that while his parents had sat in the temple revival queue for a year, the memories of dying out here were less than an hour old for them.
“How did you beat the Mage?” Clarysa asked.
Ruwen wanted an explanation about the terium and the killing, but he also feared the answers. The difficult conversation was inevitable, so rushing it seemed pointless. The revelation had tossed them over a cliff, and eventually they would all hit the ground. If his parents wanted to discuss other things as they plummeted downward, so be it.
“I launched Lylan—” Ruwen stopped himself. His parents had no idea who any of his friends were. Trying to make his explanations shorter, he summarized. “There are four people you need to know about. Sift is my best friend and an Adept in the Steps. Hamma is a priestess with the Wisdom of a Judge. Lylan is a
Shade and as quiet and serious as a shadow.”
“We met Hamma in the revival baths,” Clarysa said. “A really nice priestess.”
Ruwen nodded. Now wasn’t the time to discuss his relationship with Hamma. “And last there is the friend of my soul.”
You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, Ruwen said to Rami.
Ruwen felt Rami push herself out from behind his ear and leap into the air. The small Bookwyrm flapped her wings slowly as she hovered in the air. Ruwen triggered his Glow ability and the surrounding area brightened.
“This is Rami,” Ruwen said. “She is the most special Bookwyrm in the Universe.”
Ruwen’s head, neck, and chest warmed from Rami’s hug, and she bent her graceful neck in a small bow to his parents.
Clarysa gasped. “Rami, you are beautiful.”
Colyn nodded. “I agree. It is a pleasure to meet you, Rami.”
Do you want me to form a group so you can talk to them? Ruwen asked.
Not now. You three don’t need more excuses to delay what’s coming. I’ll talk to them after the dust settles.
Rami returned to her perch behind Ruwen’s ear.
“A lot has happened to you,” Clarysa said.
Ruwen sighed. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
Colyn smiled, and they all walked again. “How about how you killed that Mage? It still bothers me he bested us.”
Ruwen thought back to that chaotic fight, and his terrible idea that had saved them. “I launched Lylan from my Inventory and she blew the Mage off the roof.”
After a few seconds, Clarysa spoke. “That is amazingly clever, and just like you to think of it. I noticed your Void Band, which means Uru knows, too.”
Ruwen collected his thoughts. “I wanted to Ascend as a Mage.”
“Really?” Colyn asked. “You never mentioned it.”
Even as upset as Ruwen felt, his dad’s sarcasm made him smile. “It took me a while to adjust to Ascending as a Worker. I’ll even admit to wishing I’d paid more attention to your fighting lessons. But I’m proud to be a Worker now.” Ruwen said the last statement almost like a challenge.
Colyn nodded. “You should be.”
“I thought you’d only be a Mage,” Clarysa said.
Ruwen stopped, confused. His parents stopped as well and looked at him. “That isn’t the response I expected.”
Clarysa pulled Ruwen’s shoulder, and they began walking again. “That’s because Uru has kept us safe from wars for millennia, and Workers, especially those with Void Bands, only use their abilities for the common good now.”
“In war,” Colyn said. “They are force multipliers and highly respected. To be honest, I’m upset she honored you like this. If what she says is true, it will only put you in danger. Uru has taken so much already that—”
“Colyn, no,” Clarysa said. “Not now.”
Colyn shook his head. “I can’t keep all these secrets anymore, Clarysa. How do we justify the terium without explaining everything else?”
Clarysa looked down. “I don’t know.”
“Because we can’t,” Colyn said gently. “He deserves to know. Everything.”
They walked in silence until a minute later, Clarysa whispered. “Okay.”
Colyn stopped and hugged Clarysa. “I know it’s painful, sweetheart. But maybe this will help with the nightmares.”
“Is there somewhere private we can talk?” Clarysa asked. “Very private.”
Looking at the map, Ruwen located Bliz and Tremine near the portal to the Shattered Sun. Sift was in his room with Lylan, and Hamma was with her father near the revival baths. Ruwen wondered how that reunion had gone. Or if Hamma had even told her father who she was.
Ruwen didn’t see who he needed right now, but that didn’t surprise him. “Follow me,” Ruwen said to his parents.
It took them ten minutes to reach the lake which Ruwen used to tell his parents how he’d met Sift and his first days in the Black Pyramid. He left out the Harvesting part in Blapy, as he wanted to explain that in private. Survey and Stone Echo made Ruwen’s map useless as it displayed a mass of dots. Fish, he assumed, as he toggled off both abilities. It didn’t matter, as he couldn’t do this himself.
Rami, could you see if Shelly is here and if she’ll let us inside her shell?
Rami jumped from behind Ruwen’s ear and dived into the water.
Be careful in there, Ruwen said, worried that a fish would swallow her.
The water roiled and the three of them stepped away from the water’s edge. An enormous shadow emerged from the lake and Ruwen increased the brightness of Glow. Shelly came into the light, water dripping down her immense form. Rami perched on the giant turtle’s head.
Clarysa gasped.
“Mercy on my soul,” Colyn whispered.
I found her, Rami said.
I see that. Thank you.
“This is Shelly,” Ruwen said. “She’s soulbound to Sift.”
Shelly placed her front leg on the shore and Ruwen climbed up it, waving at his parents to join him. Rami returned to his ear, soaking the hair on the side of his head. Cold water ran down his neck and he brushed it away.
In less than a minute they were safely in the shell and back under the water. The main room had its own light and Ruwen turned off Glow.
“My dad told me about these,” Colyn said, a huge smile on his face. “But I never believed him, or thought I’d see one.”
“Or actually be in one,” Clarysa added.
“Your dad saw a Star Tortoise?” Ruwen asked. He had thought Sift’s Star Tortoise was extremely rare, and Ruwen’s parents never spoke of their parents. He had never met his grandparents.
Colyn’s smile disappeared. “In a previous life.”
The words reminded Ruwen how many secrets his parents kept, and coupled with the shock of them killing their group, turned his sadness and confusion into anger. “I can’t believe you killed those people. It’s like I don’t know either of you anymore.”
“We haven’t changed,” Colyn said. “We just never told you everything.” Without warning, Colyn punched at Ruwen’s chest.
Ruwen swiped the punch away with a Bamboo Step but stopped himself from flipping his dad.
“And just as I suspected,” Colyn said. “You have secrets of your own.”
“Not secrets,” Ruwen said. “I just haven’t had a chance to explain yet. A lot has happened since my Ascension.”
“After your Ascension,” Clarysa said. “That was when we planned to start explaining.”
“Explaining what?” Ruwen asked.
Clarysa locked gazes with Colyn and then sighed. She turned to Ruwen and sat down. So Ruwen and his dad did as well. She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds and then looked at Ruwen. “We were born here over ten thousand years ago, and you should have been too.”
Ruwen leaned back. “What?”
Clarysa bit her lip. “We lived in the northern mountains. I was ambushed by a band of Gravelings, and they killed me. I revived in the Deepwell temple and returned home. Eiru, or everyone calls her Uru now, visited your father and me. Among other things, she told me I was pregnant with you. She must have discovered it during the revival process.”
Colyn put his arm around Clarysa.
Clarysa swallowed hard and then continued. “Uru told us you were special and had the potential to fix a grand injustice. She said you’d never live to see your first birthday, though.”
Clarysa paused and Colyn spoke. “Uru told us the only way you’d survive was if your mom remained in the revival queue until Uru figured out a way to protect you.”
Both Ruwen’s parents grew quiet, their eyes distant.
“And it took her longer than you thought,” Ruwen said.
Tears fell down Clarysa’s cheeks. “My mom never got to hold you.”
“You two gave up your families for me?” Ruwen asked, guilt violently twisting his stomach.
Clarysa reached over and grab
bed Ruwen’s hand. “Not a sliver of this is your fault. Even if I’d known how long it would take, I would do it again.”
Colyn grabbed Ruwen’s hand as well. “We would do it again, but it’s bigger than that. Uru convinced us you were critical to the future. Our sacrifice served a greater purpose.”
Ruwen desperately tried to keep the guilt at bay. Somehow failing to meet Uru’s, Blapy’s, and Pen’s, expectations for saving the Universe didn’t matter as much as the tears covering his mom’s cheeks. Failing now, meant his parents had given up their family and friends for nothing.
“You’d already given up everything,” Ruwen said, starting to understand. “So when she asked you to come with her to the Spirit Realm, how could you say no?”
“You know about that?” Clarysa asked.
Ruwen thought about Io and all the memories he’d shared with Rami in the Spirit Realm. “I’ve had a busy couple months.”
“Which brings us back to the original question,” Colyn said. “You wondered how we could kill, let’s be truthful, a group of awful people who likely planned on killing us when the delivery was complete. That aside, Uru told us the terium was crucial to our country’s survival. Without the precious metal we’d all die, and none of our sacrifices would matter.”
“Why doesn’t Uru just give us what we need?” Ruwen asked.
“I made the mistake of asking that question,” Clarysa whispered. “Uru said something called the Pact stopped her from acting directly. So instead, she allowed a group of greedy Priests to take bribes. Everything from revival priority, revival duration, and even Class assignments during Ascension were for sale. It makes me sad she allowed her people to suffer.”
The image of Slib and his parents, laughing and shaking hands with High Priest Fusil on Ruwen’s Ascension Day, flashed across his thoughts. That explained Slib’s Mage Class. Would Uru really allow such terrible behavior just to accumulate the terium she needed?
Colyn met Ruwen’s gaze, his face miserable. “We killed them out of necessity. I don’t expect you to understand or to forgive us.”
Clarysa sat up straight. The tears had stopped, but her eyes remained misty. “It breaks our hearts that you know what we did. That it validated your worst fears about us. But know that we would do it again. Our future required it.”