by Lucy Monroe
It felt so good he thought he could die of it. When she started unbuttoning his pants, Ian nearly came undone. “You mustna do that, Belle.” She smiled into his eyes, her face a mask of feminine mystery. “Why not, Ian? You said you needed me and I must assume your need is at least equal to my own. Therefore you cannot convince me that you would be horrified by my bold behavior.” She ruined her confident statement by ending it with a worried frown and stilling her hands in their struggle with his buttons. “Are you?”
He growled. “The only thing I don’t like is how long you are taking to touch me, Belle. You’re teasing me to near death with your hesitancy.” Her smile was like the sun breaking through the gray skies of London. It warmed him and filled his heart with peace. She finished the task of opening his pantaloons. He muffled a shout as she grasped his hard member in her hand. “You are much bigger than I expected. Is this quite normal, Ian?”
Her words and touch sent his senses scattering. He could not form a response to her question. She curled her fingers around him and squeezed. Ian arched away from the floor. “Show me what to do,” she demanded.
He did. When he came, she gave a husky laugh. He kissed her until every last bit of pleasure had been wrung from him. He collapsed on the floor.
Now she would understand that her fears were foundless.
“Will it always be like this?”
He sat up and began buttoning his shirt. “Like what?”
“So…so combustible between us?”
“God willing it will only get better.”
“You mean it can be better?” She sounded doubtful.
“Aye. We have not yet made love, Belle. Our bodies have not joined.” He resumed dressing.
She pulled her dress over her head and turned for him to fasten the tapes. Pulling a small comb from her reticule, she began to straighten her hair.
“Why didn’t we make love, Ian?”
Her question took him by surprise. “I will not dishonor you before we are wed.” She thought about this for awhile. He could see her mind wrestling with his words.
“What we did just now. You don’t think that was the same thing?” He shook his head. “What we did was share pleasure, but when we make love we will join our bodies. We will become one. It is not the same. It is more and it is for marriage.”
She stared at him. “I want to become one with you.” He felt something inside of him expand. Pulling her back into his arms, he asked,
“Does that mean you will marry me?”
“Yes.” She buried her face in his neck and he felt tears against his heated skin.
Pulling away from her gently, he looked into her face.
She smiled tremulously. “It seems I have no choice.” He didn’t like hearing that. He wanted her to choose to marry him, but realized that if she felt trapped by her passion he should be glad. “You will be happy, Belle.” She did not answer.
“Shall we go and let your family wish us happy?” He wanted to kiss her again, but feared he wouldn’t be able to stop with a kiss if he did.
“Now?” She sounded surprised.
“Did you think to wait?” Was she trying to stall him?
“No, it’s just that I can’t see wasting all this food. Besides, I’m a little hungry.” He smiled. “Your passion has made you hungry. Remind me to make sure we have a repast set aside on our wedding night.”
She blushed, but laughed.
The ring box had fallen on the carpet at her feet. He leaned down and retrieved it.
“Come here, lass.”
She did. He lifted her hand and placed the ring on her finger. “Now you belong to me.”
She cocked her head to one side and gazed at him through her lashes. “I see. Does this mean you belong to me as well?”
He did not smile. “Can you doubt it?”
She shook her head. “Ian?”
“What?”
“Will you kiss me again?”
The smile that would not come earlier split his face. His hands cupped her cheeks and he lowered his lips to hers slowly, inch by inch. Her eyes fluttered closed and he touched her lips gently with his own. He felt the tension drain from her. When he did not repeat the kiss, she opened her eyes to look into his. She smiled and he lowered his lips to hers again.
He started this kiss with the same gentle caress, but soon deepened it to a passionate melding of their mouths. She parted her lips for him and tentatively touched his tongue with her own. He groaned and pulled her close. He slid his hands possessively down her spine, holding her tightly against him.
When she responded with moans of desire, he slid his hands down to cup her bottom.
He kneaded her flesh and she squirmed against him, rubbing the juncture of her thighs against his. He felt like his loins were on fire and hardened against her again.
Breaking off the kiss, he pushed her face into his waistcoat. “If we don’t stop now, we’ll no make it back to your aunt’s house before dark.” She responded with a shaky laugh. “We can’t have that. Perhaps we should not stay to eat. Shall we return to my aunt? Her relief that I am finally to be married will be profound.”
They had some other things to discuss first. “Tell me about the man in Gunther’s.” The look of fear that flitted across her features was enough to convince Ian that there was more to the story than she had first told him. She opened her mouth to speak, but he put his finger over her lips. “Wait. Dinna bother trying to dissemble, lass. I want the whole story and I’ll settle for nothing less.”
Chapter Twelve
Annabelle turned from Ian’s probing gaze. Her heart was at war within her. She wanted nothing more than to spill the burden of Diana’s blackmailer. She could not betray her friend however. “I cannot tell you about the man, Ian.” Instead of erupting with an angry outburst and demanding she comply, like she expected, Ian nodded. He motioned for her to take a seat and served her a plate full of thin slices of bread and meats with cheese. “Eat.” Grateful that he wasn’t going to push her to answer, she said a quick prayer of thanksgiving. The food was delicious and she had eaten everything on her plate before she realized it. She looked up to find Ian watching her. His expression was brooding and he had barely touched the food before him.
“We really should head back. Aunt Griselda is bound to be concerned. We have been gone quite a long time,” she said.
Ian’s expression did not change. “I’m waiting, Belle.” She grimaced. “Has no one ever told you that you are too stubborn by half?”
“You will tell me about the man.”
She could not stay seated any longer. Jumping up, she moved restlessly around the room. The windows were too high to see anything going on outside. She stopped in front of a painted garden scene.
“This is really well done, don’t you think? I would not have expected something of this quality at a public inn.”
“The painting is no of interest to me. Your safety canna be ignored,” Ian replied.
“You are like a dog with a bone.” She exclaimed with exasperation. “Would you please just accept the fact that I cannot tell you what you wish to know? It would mean breaking a confidence and I cannot do that.”
He moved so quickly that one moment he sat in his chair, glaring at her and the next his hands were gripping her upper arms as he turned her to face him squarely.
“You willna keep another man’s confidence, Belle. You are to be my wife. I willna have it.”
Outrage at his arrogance bolstered her courage. “What exactly are you saying? Do you think now that I am to marry you that you own me, Ian?”
“I am not unreasonable.” His eyes registered confusion. “’Tis no more than any man would expect from his wife.”
Twisting from his arms, she backed away until she could look him in the eye without craning her neck. “Of course not, but I thought you understood that I expect something different from marriage than to become some man’s glorified bond slave.” Ian’s eyes glittered darkly in his anger. �
��I am no going to make you a slave.”
“No. You are not.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Ian, I am aware that in marrying most women abdicate their rights, but I am not willing to do so. The Common Law of England may dictate that I am little more than a possession, but I demand that you give me your word as a gentleman that you will allow me to be my own person.”
“You want me to agree to have no say in your life at all? You are to be my wife, Belle. I canna agree to that.”
Why couldn’t he understand? “That is not what I am saying. I merely want an assurance from you that I will have the freedom to pursue my own interests without interference.”
He stared at her like she had gone mad. “I’ll no agree to anything so ridiculous.” Her spirits sank. She could not marry him. She withdrew the ring from her finger and held it out to him. “Then I regret to say that I cannot marry you.” He refused to take the ring from her. “You asked if I would be faithful.” She nodded. It had been difficult to voice her doubts, but it was important to her.
“If I were to take a mistress, would that not be pursuing my own interests without interference?”
She let the hand holding the ring drop to her side. “It is not the same thing at all. It would hurt me terribly if you were to share yourself intimately with another woman.”
“Ah so, ’tis only your own feelings that concern you then?” She frowned. How could he believe that? “Of course not.”
“You expect me to let you to do what you like, even pursue a clandestine relationship with another man. ’Twill not work.” Appalled that he could believe such a thing, she said, “I am not having a relationship with Mr. Thorn. How could you believe that after what we just shared?” His eyes lit with interest. “If you are no having a relationship with him, then why are you keeping his secrets?”
How could he have gotten everything so muddled? “I’m not keeping his confidences.
I’m keeping Diana’s.”
Gasping, she put her hand over her mouth. She had said far too much. From the look of satisfaction on Ian’s face, he was not surprised. “You tricked me.” He shrugged at her accusation.
“Ian, this is unacceptable. You cannot go about tricking me into telling you things.” He reached down and grasped her hand. He opened her fist one finger at a time.
Pulling the ring from the palm of her hand, he slid it back on her finger. “Dinna take it off again.”
“I cannot promise to agree with you on everything.”
“I dinna ask you to. But you will keep your pledge to marry me.”
“I won’t be a bond-slave.”
“I dinna want a bond-slave. I want a wife.”
“You will not dictate my every move.”
“There isna a man alive that could.”
She could not help smiling. He sounded so resigned.
“Very well.”
“Are ye sure, lass?”
She looked into his eyes. The uncertainty she saw there settled her heart. Ian might not realize it, but he needed her. That was a fair step toward love, she hoped.
“Aye, I’m sure,” she said copying his brogue.
He leaned down and placed a quick, possessive kiss on her lips. Taking her arm, he pulled her toward the chairs near the fire where he sat and pulled her into his lap. She adjusted to the strange sensation of sitting so intimately with a man.
“Now, tell me about Thorn.”
He was not going to let up. She sighed and started her account of the letters and Diana’s quandary.
He remarked, “That explains it, then.”
“Explains what?” she asked.
Her heart broke for Diana when Ian told her about discovering that the other woman had sold her wedding pearls. She also accepted that with all that Ian had seen, she would never have been able to keep the blackmail a secret from him.
“I told her not to concern herself with the money. Why did she sell her wedding gift from Robert?”
“I dinna ken.”
“Ian, we’ve got to do something. Diana is up in the boughs as it is. I cannot imagine what she is feeling now.”
“Dinna worry, I’ll think of something.”
The chilling look in his eyes made her almost pity Mr. Thorn. Almost. She snuggled into Ian’s lap and tucked her head under his chin. “As to that, I’ve already come up with a sound plan.”
He caressed her back. “Aye?”
She explained her idea to go to the east side and inquire among her acquaintances there about Mr. Thorn. Ian’s arms tightened around her like a vice. He cursed long and loudly.
“You are not going anywhere near there. If anyone is going to search for Thorn, it will be me.”
She struggled in his arms until he loosened them enough for her to lean back and see into his face. The anger she saw there made no sense. It was a sound plan. However, she had no objection if he chose to take over the investigation.
“That’s a wonderful idea. I had thought that the women I knew might not be acquainted with a man of Mr. Thorn’s ilk. You, on the other hand, can disguise yourself as a common gamester or something and ferret out the information.” Her easy acquiescence to him taking over this part of the investigation should soothe him.
It did not. “I’m not a bloody ferret.”
“I understand.” Ian’s inconsistency annoyed her, but she did not argue with him.
“Well, if you don’t think you can find Mr. Thorn, then we will have to revert to the original plan.”
Ian caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Let us get one matter straight, Belle. You are no going anywhere near the stews.” The furious set of his jaw did not suggest she disagree with him. She ignored it. “If I don’t, then how are we to find him? You cannot be thinking of hiring a Bow Street Runner. There could be a scandal and that is exactly what Diana is trying to avoid.”
“Promise me, Belle.”
She stared into his implacable eyes. It occurred to her that even a modern woman of the nineteenth century could have difficulty asserting herself with a man like Ian.
“Very well.” She sighed to let him know what she thought of his demand. “I promise.”
He smiled. “I will find Thorn.”
She ground her teeth. Isn’t that exactly what she had suggested? Men could be so stubborn. “What a wonderful idea.”
“Ye needna take that sarcastic tone with me, lass.” She disagreed. It was much preferable to shooting him.
He kissed her gently and eased back. “We had best be headed back. I dinna want your aunt sending out a search party.”
On the way home, once again ensconced in the blanket, Annabelle’s heart beat with a mixture of delight and dread. She was going to marry the man that she loved. She was also going to marry a man who believed in passion, but thought love a romantic illusion.
She and Ian returned from their trip to the Inn to discover not only Lady Beauford waiting impatiently for their return, but Robert, Diana and Ceddy as well. Robert had opened his mouth to ring a peal over Annabelle, only to be checked by Ian with an announcement of the engagement.
Her earlier prediction of her aunt’s reaction proved to be correct. Lady Beauford gave Annabelle and Ian a satisfied smile. “So, you have finally come to your senses.” Annabelle grimaced at her aunt’s words. She truly hoped what she was doing was sensible. She had the terrible feeling that she had made a huge wager and had no clue of the outcome. It felt like someone had her marker and would come to collect when she least expected.
“I say, that’s capital news.” Ceddy patted Ian on the back. “When’s the nuptials going to take place, eh what?”
Annabelle answered. “Not for a while.”
“We’ll post the banns this Sunday.” Ian contradicted her.
“That would put the wedding at less than a month away.” Diana’s scandalized tones echoed Annabelle’s shocked thoughts. She needed more time. She hoped that over their engagement, Ian would come to love her. Three and a half weeks
was not nearly enough time.
Lady Beauford started up from her chair at Ian’s words. “Impossible. We cannot prepare a society wedding in that amount of time. Annabelle will need six months at least.”
“I will be taking Annabelle to Graenfrae in a month. We can be wed here or wait until we reach my home.”
Annabelle glared at him. “Do I not get any say in this?” Ian turned to her, his face an imperturbable mask. “You already agreed to become my wife. You gave me your word.”
“Yes, but—”
Ian did not let her finish.
“When we marry should be of little import to you.”
“That’s ludicrous. Naturally it matters when we marry. I will not be rushed into a hasty wedding.” She nodded her head for emphasis.
Ian’s impassive face broke into a smile. “I’m not proposing a runaway trip to Gretna Green, lass. A month is sufficient time to plan a wedding.” Lady Beauford snorted. “Spoken like a gentleman. Much they know about it.” Robert asked, “Will that give your family enough time to make the trip?”
“They won’t be coming.” Ian’s words brooked no argument.
Annabelle did not understand. “Why not?”
“They are still in mourning, don’t you know,” Ceddy answered.
Robert agreed. “Of course. The earl’s will forced Ian not to observe the year of mourning, but it would be highly improper for his family to attend a society wedding in London before the year is up.”
“Propriety is undoubtedly all that matters. Showing family support and loyalty comes in a poor second.” Diana’s outburst shocked everyone into speechlessness.
“It’s hardly that dire, m’dear. Annabelle will have sufficient opportunity to meet her in-laws in due course.”
Diana’s eyes glistened. “Without doubt.”
Annabelle wished she could strangle her brother. He didn’t know about Mr. Thorn, but he needn’t be so bloody correct all of the time either.
Robert looked completely baffled. Lady Beauford drew Diana to sit on the settee next to her. “There, there, dear. One must expect to be a bit emotional during this time.