Books for Kids: My Fox Ate My Homework (A hilarious fantasy for children ages 8-12)

by David Blaze

  The fox’s smile disappeared and his tail stopped wagging. “I hate to hear that.” He looked around the side of the house. “Don’t forget to unlock the chicken coop. Gotta make sure they’re happy and healthy.” He licked his lips for some reason.

  “I may never see you again,” I confided in him.

  “Jonah!” my mom yelled from the kitchen. “Come get some breakfast!”

  “Wait,” the fox said. “What are you talking about?”

  I shrugged my shoulders at the fox. “I’ve gotta go.”

  I closed the window and waved to him. I was never good at goodbyes. I had left Orlando without telling any of my friends I was leaving. It hurt too much.

  The fox looked sad and confused with his ears down and his tail between his legs. Did he not want me to go either?

  “Jonah!” my mom yelled again.

  “Coming!” I yelled back.

  I turned from the window and marched out of my bedroom. I felt weak and tired. I did not want to leave my new friend behind.

  “I’m going into work this morning,” my mom said when I sat at the kitchen table. She had a plate of pancakes waiting for me. “I won’t be back until tonight.” That got my attention. I would have time with the fox after all.

  “I’ve asked your uncle Mike to check in on you this afternoon if he can.” She stood behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. “The only reason you’re not going over there is because I’m making him clean up his place before we move in with him.” I could feel her shaking her head. “It’s littered with beer cans and cigarettes.”

  She walked around the table and sat across from me. “I may have overreacted yesterday, and I apologize for that.” She nodded her head slowly again. “You know what the rules are, and I’m going to trust you.” She stopped nodding. “Please don’t make me regret it.”

  I couldn’t help but notice one of my chocolate boxes was empty in the trash can. “What happened to the candy?” I asked, pointing to the box.

  “I don’t know,” she claimed, shrugging her shoulders. “Someone must have eaten them.” I knew she loved chocolate, but fifteen bars eaten since last night? That had to be a world record!

  “I’m not judging,” I said, shoveling the pancakes into my mouth. They were perfect with butter melted over them and maple syrup dripping over the sides.

  She smirked and stood back up. “I’m taking the other box of chocolate bars to work with me. I want to make sure they feel loved.” She stood next to me and kissed my cheek. “Write your paper and stay out of trouble today.” She tightened one of her earrings. “I baked a pan of chicken for the day. Save me a couple of pieces for when I get home tonight.”

  And then just like that she was gone. I rushed to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I didn’t want the fox to get a chance to say I smelled like wet farts. They’re the worst kind. Usually silent. Always deadly.

  I ran out back and passed the outhouse. I didn’t see the fox anywhere out there — he’d be back soon. I went ahead and unlocked the chicken coop my mom had locked the night before. Old Nelly looked like she was asleep in the back. I wondered how many rotten eggs she had laid in her lifetime. Hundreds? Thousands?

  “Glad you could make it,” came the fox’s familiar voice from outside the coop.

  I stepped out to greet him. “I’m glad I could make it too.” I realized I had never asked him the most important question of all. “What’s your name?”

  The fox rubbed his chin. “I don’t know. You’re the only person I’ve ever talked to.”

  I couldn’t help but smile and feel proud. He was the only fox in the world who could talk, and he chose to talk to me. “We should call you Fox. Just to keep things from getting confusing”

  His blue eyes lit up. “Sounds original.” He was trying to hide it, but I could tell he was excited to be named and recognized. It wasn’t hard to figure it out. His tail was wagging like a jet fan.

  “Did you get enough of what you need?” he asked me.

  I wasn’t sure what he meant. I kept thinking it was odd none of the chickens came out of the coop. They were hiding from something.

  “You said you didn’t have enough money,” he reminded me. I remembered our conversation a couple of days earlier. That’s when I had decided to sell the candy.

  “Not quite,” I admitted. Forty dollars wasn’t enough to fill up the gas tank in the car. My mom always made me fill it up. She paid for it, of course.

  “There’s another way you can get more money,” Fox said. He stepped up close to me and whispered like he had a secret to share. “If you dig a hole deep enough over there,” he said, pointing to the fence line out of view, “you’ll reach China. And you know what they have in China?”

  Call me crazy, but I was pretty sure Fox was trying to play a practical joke on me. I decided to play his little game. “What?”

  “Gold!” he shouted. “Lots of gold!”

  I laughed at him so hard my stomach hurt. He wasn’t smiling anymore and seemed disappointed I didn’t believe him. “Fox, everyone knows you can only find gold at the end of rainbows.” Duh!

  His blue eyes shifted from side to side. “They have lots of rainbows in China.” He waved his paws overhead in an arc. “Tons of them. Every day.”

  I thought about it for a second and wondered if it could be true. “How long would it take to get there?”

  Fox wagged his tail again. “An hour at the most.” That wasn’t bad. Even if he was pulling my leg, it was only an hour of my life. But I couldn’t escape this nagging feeling in the back of head that none of this was true. That it was impossible.

  “Jonah!” a man’s voice yelled from the house. “Where are you?” I recognized it as my uncle Mike. I heard the back door shut and shoes or boots walking through the leaves toward us. What was he doing there so early? My mom said he wouldn’t be there until the afternoon!

  “You should run,” I urged Fox. “Meet me later.” Uncle Mike liked to hunt and I had a feeling foxes were on his list.

  Fox dashed off on all four paws.

  “There you are,” Uncle Mike said moments later, walking up to me with his arms extended. I hugged him, looking over his shoulder to make sure Fox was out of view. “Missed you, pal.”

  “Missed you too,” I admitted. I led him back toward the house so there was no chance of Fox being spotted. I hadn’t seen my uncle in more than a year. He looked like he had aged twenty years in that time. Most of his hair had turned gray, and wrinkles covered his face. My mom always said it would happen one day with all the smoking and drinking he did.

  “Your mom wanted me to check on you,” he said. “Make sure you’re okay.” He looked over my arms and legs. “I don’t see any broken bones.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll try harder next time.”

  He laughed and patted my arm. “We’re gonna move you and your mom into my place tomorrow night. That way you don’t have to miss any school tomorrow.”

  Yeah. Thanks a lot.

  “Are you gonna to be okay today?” he asked. “I’ve got a lot to do, but you can come with me if you’re bored.”

  Not a chance. If this was the last day I could talk with Fox, then I wasn’t going anywhere. “I’m fine. I’ve got your number if I need it.”

  He patted me on the shoulder. “My man. See you tomorrow night.” He went back through the house and left.

  I fell flat on my butt when I turned around and Fox was standing right behind me. His paws were raised in an attack position. “You gave me a heart attack!”

  He burst out laughing. “Chinese sneak attack!”

  It took a minute for me to catch my breath. I realized how hot it was getting as the sun rose higher. “We should go inside and cool down,” I tried to persuade Fox.

  He looked back at the chicken coop. None of them had come out yet. Maybe they didn’t like the heat either. “Okay. But just for a little while. I’ll catch some lunch later.”

  SUNDAY AFTERNOON<
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  “What’s that sound?” Fox asked, jumping when the air conditioner turned on and began pumping cold air out of the kitchen vents. He crouched on all fours like he was ready to take off running.

  I held out my hands and tried to calm him down. “It’s just the air conditioner. It keeps the air cool in here when it’s hot outside.”

  “You can change the air?” he asked in awe. I laughed at the fact he didn’t know things like that. “Witchcraft,” he muttered as he stood back up on his two hind legs and eyed the room suspiciously.

  I was happy to have him back inside. There were so many things to learn about him. And it looked like he had a lot of things he could learn from me. “What do you want to do? My mom’s not here.”

  “The other human is never here,” Fox observed. “This is your own den.” I could only shrug my shoulders at him. My mom was there when I needed her and that’s what counted. “What did you mean when you said you’ll never see me again?”

  I didn’t want to talk about it, but I owed him an explanation. I took a deep breath. “I’m leaving with my mom tomorrow night.”

  Fox’s tail was between his legs again. “You’re leaving? Is it because of me?”

  “It has nothing to do with you,” I tried to convince him. “I begged my mom to stay here, but we don’t have enough money.” I felt tired and weak again, telling the one creature in the world who I wanted to spend time with that I’d never see him again after that night.

  He didn’t say anything and sat at the kitchen table. His eyes were a darker shade of blue.

  “Anyways,” I told him, walking to the refrigerator and trying to avoid this conversation, “I’m going to make a sandwich.”

  “I’m a wild animal,” Fox said in a low voice. “I’m dangerous. I take what I want when I want it. I’ll never be cold and I’ll never be hungry.”

  I had no idea how to respond to him. He was hurting as much as I was. “You want a sandwich too?”

  “That’d be great,” Fox said, his eyes lighting back up. “I’m so hungry I could eat anything. And can you turn the air conditioner off? It’s freezing in here!” I smiled when he broke out into laughter.

  I sat back down at the kitchen table and slid a ham sandwich to him. He stared at it like it was an alien. He pulled the top piece of bread off and tossed it to the floor. Then he yanked the slice of ham off and ripped it apart between his teeth before swallowing it. It was the most awesome thing I had ever seen!

  “Chicken is better,” Fox muttered.

  I remembered what my mom had said before she left. “There’s a whole pan of chicken in the fridge. You want some?”

  Fox sat up straight and stared at the refrigerator like it was the Holy Grail. “You keep chickens in there?”

  I laughed at his misunderstanding. “Not live chickens. It’s just their legs and thighs.”

  He licked his lips. “You cut them up then store them in that magic box?” He jumped out of his seat and walked toward the fridge. “This is amazing. I’ve got to get one of these.”

  “I guess,” I said, scratching my head. It wasn’t amazing to me, but that’s because I had always had one. Fox, on the other hand, looked like he was going to pass out.

  “Let me see,” he pleaded, standing in front of the fridge. “I have to see it.”

  I didn’t know what the big deal was, so I went ahead and opened it in front of him. His faced changed from excitement to confusion.

  “Where are the chickens?” he asked, looking through every shelf desperately. “You said there were chickens.”

  I shook my head. “I said there were chicken legs and thighs.” I pointed to the foil covered pan on the bottom shelf. It had ten chicken pieces on it.

  “That’s not chicken,” Fox complained. “Where are the feathers? You tricked me because I tried to trick you about the gold in China.” He huffed and stepped back. “Well played, Joe. Well played.”

  I tried my best not to laugh at him. “All the feathers are pulled out first, and then it’s cooked.”

  He slammed the refrigerator door shut and stomped into the living room. “More witchcraft!”

  I couldn’t stop smiling when I joined him in the living room. There were so many things I could teach him. He had learned a lot of things in life — he even learned how to talk! But there were so many things people did and had in their lives every day that he’d never seen. Why did we have to leave tomorrow? I needed more time.

  “What’s this thing?” Fox asked, banging his paws against the TV remote control.

  I snatched it from him before he broke it. I pointed the remote at our fifty-two inch TV and pressed the power button.

  I swear to you, Fox’s head touched the ceiling when the TV blasted on at full volume, and he jumped sky high. I turned it down right away. He scurried behind the couch and poked his head out every few seconds to look at the cartoons playing on the TV.

  “It’s okay,” I assured him. “It’s not real.” I couldn’t think of a way to explain it to him without him just watching it. I sat on the couch and waited for him to come out.

  It took another hour before he walked around the couch and joined me on it. “I wasn’t scared,” he said, shaking his head. “No, sir.”

  Right. It took him a while to warm up to the cartoons, but a few hours later he was laughing at them with me. At one point I glanced at the table in front of us and saw the paper I started writing last night.

  “I need to write something for school,” I explained to Fox, leaning toward the table so I could write the three paragraphs. “It might take me a while. Are you okay?”

  He stared at the cartoons and brushed a paw at me. “Yeah, yeah. Do whatever you have to do.” He laughed at the TV. “They’re so silly.”

  I’d only known Fox for a couple of days and I just showed him some modern technology that day. Was I a bad person because I already had him addicted to TV?

  I’d have to worry about that later. He was having a good time, and I was hanging out with him. Now if I only knew what to write about my best friend.

  I had no idea, so I came to the only logical conclusion. I had to write about Tommy. He was my best friend in the second grade. I was new at my school and no one knew my past. Tommy was the perfect answer.

  I wrote three paragraphs about him in less than an hour. It only took that long because I went back and double checked the spelling and grammar. That left one question in my mind because I had plenty of time left. Do I really want to write Shane’s paper?

  Fox tapped me on the shoulder. “Where did the cartoons go?” The TV screen had a message flashing on it.

  WE’VE EXPERIENCED A TEMPORARY INTERRUPTION OF YOUR SERVICES.

  I’d only seen that message once before, and that’s when my mom forgot to pay the cable bill. I had an idea what was going on this time. “My mom had it turned off since we’re leaving tomorrow. Sorry.”

  He huffed and looked at my paper. “Did you finish?”

  I did, but I still had the other decision to make. I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. “I think so. I’m not sure.”

  “You know what I do when I’m not sure about something?” he asked.

  I had no idea. “What?”

  “I go ahead and do it,” he said, smiling. “There’s no rule that says I can’t change my mind later.”

  He was a fox, but his advice made complete sense. I went ahead and wrote Shane’s paper for him right then and there in record time. They were the best three paragraphs I’d ever written — what a shame to waste them on someone else! I didn’t know if it was the right decision, but I could always change my mind before class started the next day.

  “Thanks, Fox,” I told him.

  My mom’s car squeaked when it stopped in the driveway. Oh no! Was it already time for her to come home? That day had flown by so fast. I did not want it to end.

  “You have to go, Fox,” I urged him, pointing behind me. “Out the back door.”

  He jump
ed off the couch and landed on all four paws. What he said next left me speechless. “If you ever need a friend — just look for me.” He dashed out of the living room and through the kitchen before I could say anything. I knew he was already out the back door and where he was supposed to be. I couldn’t believe he was gone and I’d never see him again.

  SUNDAY NIGHT

  “I’m so glad to be home,” my mom said, taking her shoes off and lying on the couch. She looked exhausted. “I had the longest day.”

  I half smiled. “I’m glad you’re home too.” I loved my mom, and I was always happy to see her, but I wished she had stayed at work a little longer.

  “I see you finished your paper,” she said, waving a hand at the table.

  I looked at the table and freaked out. There was only one sheet of paper on the table. I had written two! One for me and one for Shane! Where was the second one?

  “Can I read it?” my mom asked.

  I picked up the paper and lost my breath. It was the one I had written for Shane! I wiped away a bead of sweat from my forehead. “I’m still working on it.”

  She stood up and stretched. “Let me know when you’re done. I’m going to eat some of the chicken in the fridge and head to bed.” She winked at me and walked toward the kitchen. “Big day for everyone tomorrow.”

  I waited until she was out of the living room, then sprang into action. My paper had to be around there somewhere. I searched the entire living room floor and looked beneath the couch. It was nowhere!

  I felt sick when I sat on the couch and remembered what Fox had said. I’m so hungry I could eat anything. Did he snatch it before he ran off? Why was this happening to me? It was Sunday night, and I was out of time to write anything else. My night couldn’t get any worse.

  “Jonah Johnson!” my mom yelled from the kitchen. “Get in here right now!”

  What was she yelling about? I hadn’t done anything wrong. I gulped because she only used my full name when I was in big trouble. I took a deep breath and went into the kitchen.