by Rosa Swann
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That’s... “Wild... Not gonna last now.” Definitely not going to last if he keeps doing this.
“You’re mine.” He whispers loudly and wraps his fingers around my dick. I’m not sure if it was supposed to do anything else, like keep me from coming right now, but it puts me right on the edge. He keeps rolling his hips, sliding in and out, fucking me as I’m trying to hold on as long as possible. But everything inside me is fighting me to just come right now, no matter what I try.
“Wild...” I groan as white hot feelings shoot through me, my whole body humming as I come. I can’t think, I can’t do anything but not slide down right now. It’s too intense, almost frying my brain.
“Star.” Wilder groans, and then he starts growing inside me, pulsing as he comes. He’s coming hard enough to make all my nerves go off again, stars shining before my eyes, making me gasp out loud. This is just too much, definitely too much. Wilder groans loudly and wraps his arms around me tightly, holding me close as we slide down into the bath, both too spent to keep standing up.
I’m trying to get back to my senses, but it’s just too hard, so I stay there, curled up with Wilder until either of us can come enough to our senses to turn off the tap.
7. Wilder
The next morning, I look down at Sterling as he’s curled up next to me. Last night, we only quickly showered before we stumbled down the stairs and dove into bed. Too exhausted to even think about anything. And now? Now all the feelings I’d been trying to suppress have all come back. How can he look so beautiful? How is that even possible? Or is that just my body or brain telling me that he’s my mate? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I don’t even want to know right now, I just want to be able to enjoy it.
I slip out of the bed, it’s not too big, but if we curl up we can fit in it together, it’s a tight fit, but it still fits. I guess that maybe getting a larger bed would be a good idea? Probably, at some point, though I don’t mind being squished together with him either. It’s nice. It feels good, comfortable, safe. Not lonely.
It’s before the alarm has gone off and even before Sterling has woken up, but there is already a little light outside. The garden is covered in this greyish light that makes everything feel unreal. Maybe as unreal as the things I have to think about for our future...
Why do I have to decide if I’m staying on with the company or fully take over work for Logan’s company? I was perfectly happy where I was, even if it wasn’t my dream, I was happy, but now even that choice is mostly taken from me by Logan. It’s no use staying on with the company if I then have to pay someone to do work here that I can easily do myself... But is Sterling ready for that? Is Sterling ready to live with me full-time? Working from home would be really full-on full-time too. There would be no way to not see each other all day, constantly.
I quietly get dressed and make my way to the kitchen, there I set up the coffee machine before I grab my laptop and turn it on. I got a reply from HR pretty quickly yesterday. I now know I have about a week worth of free days saved up, and my current project will run for at least another three weeks... This would have been quicker if I hadn’t taken a week off before, but at the same time... It wouldn’t be fair to my team or the client if I just dropped out right now. So I’ll have to make this work as best as I can.
I start scribbling on some paper, trying to figure out my mind. There is so much more going on than just our jobs, there is my house to think of, how we’ll live together here, and even working from here... I can’t work in the living room all day, or in the kitchen. But there also isn’t a room for me here to use as my office. And I can’t just take over Logan’s office, that’s just wrong. I also wouldn’t be able to get any work done there.
“Wild...” I startle as Sterling wraps his arms around my shoulders and leans on me. “What are you doing?”
“Thinking.” I turn the paper over, so he doesn’t see what I wrote, if he hasn’t already peeked.
“About what?”
“Living. Logan’s will. Work. All sorts of stuff.” I put my hands over his arms and hold him. “Why are you up already?”
“It’s morning. I woke up.” He nuzzles me for a moment before he lets go.
“Right, because you don’t need an alarm to wake up.” I sigh, smiling, then stand up, pouring myself some coffee and then Sterling too.
“Nope. But I do like waking up to a fresh pot of coffee.” He laughs as he makes himself comfortable, then he looks at his hands. “We will need to talk about Logan’s will though.”
“Yeah. But not yet, not now.”
“Why not?” He looks confused, which I get.
But how do I explain to him that I need to figure some things out myself first? How do I explain that there are so many moving parts of our lives to consider before we decide on anything? How do I explain that I’m going to need to talk to lawyers and people like that first, just to make sure that Logan’s parents won’t be able to break up our family? Logan’s family? Because Logan may have had these great ideas, but that doesn’t mean they’re all viable. He was always a man of ideas, but not always a man of solutions... I don’t want to put pressure on Sterling before I know a little more, especially now that everything has gotten a little more complicated with the little one inside him, and him being mated twice and things like that.
Because if what Sarah told me is true, Logan’s parents are willing to bring everything down around us. They may not have had much interest in Sterling and Maddy when they were only Logan’s family, but they won’t allow them to get close to me. I know that from experience, I know that because they’ve taken Logan away from me before. They will do anything to make sure that they’ll block me, because somehow, they may not have liked me before, but Logan leaving half of his everything to me... they will definitively hate that.
I stand up, crossing the kitchen so I’m next to Sterling. Then I reach out to him, and Sterling leans against me. In all of this, at least one thing is easier, it’s easier being with Sterling now he knows who I am, who I was to Logan, now I don’t have to keep those secrets.
“Isn’t it weird?” I swallow hard, not sure I really want to hear his answer.
“Is what weird?” Sterling hums.
“That Logan pushed us together? That he planned for this without knowing we’d already meet before?”
“I think it’s comfortable. It’s a good thing.” He doesn’t seem that fazed by the idea.
“How?’
“He cared for us, for both of us. He made sure that we wouldn’t be alone. Don’t you think that’s a good thing?”
That we wouldn’t be alone? Then why did he leave in the first place? “I don’t get it.”
Sterling looks up, touching my face. “He made sure that no matter what, you’d be taken care of. Maybe he even knew you wouldn’t take a mate of your own. He trusted that you’d be able to take care of yourself in the past, but that that maybe wouldn’t be like that in the future. He made sure that you had something of him left, a place to work, a house to live in.”
If he puts it that way... “And what about you?”
“Me? He made sure that I could keep living the life that I had. An Omega on their own... I can’t work without his permission, I can’t do a lot of things without an Alpha’s permission. But you living with me, someone connected to me, even if we hadn’t mated, it would give you the same power as him.”
How can he trust so easily? “What if I turned out to be horrible?”
“You’re not. Or you’d have never mated with him in the first place.” He comes up slowly, pressing his lips to mine. It’s soft, chaste, but it’s full of trust. Then he looks straight at me. “He chose you to give us both the life that we’ve always wanted, even if not with the person we expected.”
I wrap my arms around him tightly. His trust in me, his trust in that Logan must have done whatever he thought was needed. This means that I need to make fully sure that everything will be going according to Logan’s
plans before we make any promises and commitments.
I will make sure that if not Logan’s, at least Sterling’s dream will come true. I will make sure that Logan’s will is going to work.
To Be Continued
My Omega’s Disaster
Second Chance Mates 4
1. Sterling
Wilder has been living with us for a couple of days again, and it’s almost like we’re back to the way we were. You know, apart from the me not being in heat anymore kind of thing. I know it’s too early to expect much else, but every time I ask Wilder about Logan’s will, he changes the subject. Since we talked about why Logan may have set up his will the way he did, Wilder doesn’t seem to want to talk about it at all. It’s frustrating because I know that there is something going on in his head, I know that because I can see him make notes, I can see him think, I can even see it in his eyes when he assumes I’m not watching. But he’s keeping it all to himself. Which is really frustrating, like I’m not also an adult, just like him, like he supposedly needs to protect me or something.
Just like today. It’s the weekend, so we’re all having a late breakfast, sitting at the kitchen table, and Wilder’s eyes keep going to Maddy. Like, once again, he’s thinking.
“Maddy, can you go and get changed? I want to go to the market in a bit.” I know I can’t talk about anything with her around, she’s becoming too aware.
Maddy nods and leaves the kitchen with a big grin as she stuffs the last of her sandwich into her mouth, going to the market with me has always been one of her favourite things, this should give us a couple of minutes.
“Wilder?”
He looks up, meeting my eyes for a moment before he looks away. Fuck. “Yeah?”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing?” He shrugs and stands up, about to pass me when I grab him. I may not be strong, but I have the element of surprise.
“Bullshit. Don’t lie to me. Why won’t you talk to me about the will? About what we’re going to do?” I step close to him and even though he tries to shrug me off, I’m not letting go. “Tell me.”
“There’s nothing. I’m just thinking and working and stuff like that.” He looks at me, his eyes guarded, then he looks away.
“Then what about the company? How are we going to do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“The house?”
“No clue.”
“Our family?” This finally makes him properly look at me, and I see a flash of panic go through his eyes. Okay, so I finally hit a nerve. “Our family then. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head, pushing me off and stepping away. “I can’t tell you yet.” What?
“Bull. It’s my family, I need to know.”
“It’s the Alpha’s family.” Something in his tone gives me shivers. “Which means that as far as anyone knows, you’re Logan’s father’s family.” I gape at him, not wanting to think about those implications. Because he’s right, I know that, I just never considered the reality of it. I feel my blood drain from my face and the next thing I know, Wilder’s arms are around me tightly. His breath hot on my neck as he holds me close. “Fuck. This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything.”
My eyes fill with tears, this can not be happening now. “But you mated me...”
“Yeah. I mated you. Do you think they’ll accept that? Do you think that Logan’s parents will just accept that without question?”
I shake my head. No. He’s right. It’s not like Logan’s parents are the ones who’re the good guys here. I don’t want to deal with this kind of stuff, but it’s just that... Fuck. “I don’t want to lose you.” My breath hitches, and I pull him tighter.
“It’s not you I’m worried about.” Wilder locks his arms around me tighter, and I don’t like this sinking feeling in my gut. “It’s Maddy.”
I try to pull away, but he won’t let me. “Maddy? Why?”
“Do you know anything about Sarah’s life?”
I shake my head. We didn’t talk about such things. I was just Logan’s Omega, and there was no reason to socialise with me.
“She’s always been made to feel bad for being a Beta. I don’t want Maddy to go through the same thing.”
“Why do you think they’ll do that?”
“Because they can try? Because they can try to take custody of her? Because it will make you miserable? Because it will hurt me?”
I can’t help the anger bubbling up. So it’s all about him now? “Right. Why would they try to hurt you?”
“Because Logan chose me. Because even after they tried to force Logan and me apart, he still cares more about me than about his own parents. I’m not trying to be special here. But his parents really do hate me. They hated me for being Logan’s partner. They hated me for being Logan’s mate. They hated me for having Beta parents but always ranking just as well as Logan in everything. They didn’t care about our sisters, both Betas, being friends, or both of them being at the same level, because that’s what expected of a Beta. But, as an Alpha born from an Alpha/Omega couple, Logan was expected to perform better than me on every level. This pressure on him was... bad.” He sighs as he lets me go. “I’m sorry I’m being egocentric right now, but I don’t want them to hurt you. I don’t want them to hurt Maddy. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.” He starts to walk off but I grab him again.
“Please.” My heart hurts, for both of them. “Don’t shut me out. I don’t know these type of things. Logan didn’t talk about his past and nobody else did either.”
“You never wondered?”
I shake my head. “His parents... they weren’t the nicest, have never been. I just assumed that his reluctance to talk about his past had to do with his parents. I didn’t push.” Now I wish I had. The Logan that I know is so different from the Logan that Wilder talks about. Would things really have been different if I did ask Logan more often? If I’d pushed him about his past?
Wilder reaches up, touching my cheek. “It’s not your fault. If he wanted to talk about it, he’d have told you.”
“Like he did with you when he left?” I don’t know why I’m saying that, but there is sometimes a mean streak inside me that comes out particularly nasty when I’m hurt, like now.
Wilder just shakes his head, he doesn’t even seem upset by my words. It just slides off of him. “Logan not telling me anything back then is why I know that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. There is no way that he’d have told you, and with Sarah not around... Who would have willingly told you about me? Who would have told you something so upsetting about Logan that you may have left him, especially when he was trying so hard to conform?”
“I wouldn’t—” Like I didn’t push Wilder away, I would not have left Logan over having mated Wilder. Maybe over how he left him though... But that’s not here nor there right now.
“I know. But Logan has always been shamed by his parents and his family for mating another Alpha. His parents’ shaming, he’d internalised it so badly by the end of our relationship. There’s nothing that could have changed that.” He comes closer, gives me a quick kiss. “Don’t worry. I’ll fix this.” Then he’s out of the kitchen, leaving me there, standing alone. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing now, I don’t know what to think of Wilder’s words. Was Logan really that scared of me leaving him? Would he really have been? I’m just an Omega. But why didn’t Logan tell me at least some things about his past? Why would he just keep quiet when he knew that when it would come out it would hurt both of us even more?
Maddy comes back into the kitchen, her hair a mess, but she’s dressed properly. I grab the brush from the counter and she stands in front of me, waiting. As I start brushing her hair she seems to be thinking about something.
“Princess?” I stop, waiting for her to turn around. “What’s wrong?”
“Why is Wilder grumpy? Why is he being different?”
“He’s scared. Some things have happened when he was gone and we need to fix
them.” I’m not sure how much she’ll understand, and Wilder was right, Maddy doesn’t need to know.
“Is it about Dad?” She looks up at me.
“Yeah.”
“Oh.” Then she steps back, her back to me so I can keep on brushing her hair. “Dad told me something.”
“What? When?” I’m not sure what she’s talking about, but she sounds serious.
“When you went to the market.” That doesn’t help any, I went there often, either to sell my own things or buy stuff for the house.
“What did he tell you?”
“That he always through you were the best thing in the world. He really told me that. Because he saw that I thought that he was doing something weird.”
“Weird how?”
“Weird like... I don’t know. Calling people. Writing things. When he thought that we weren’t listening.” She looks at me again. “He was just... weird.” Her lip starts to quiver and I take her in my arms.
“Don’t worry, nothing is wrong. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” I hold her close for a while longer. “Why did Wilder’s behaviour make you think of Logan?”
“Because he’s also making phone calls all the time when he thinks we’re not there.”
Sneaky phone calls, right. Well, I get why he’s doing them now, but I guess Maddy really does notice more than we think. Even when we’re being sneaky, which makes me worry about how much she realises about the relationship between Wilder and me. “Hey, let’s go shopping. Yeah? We’ll bring something delicious back for dinner.” We put on our shoes and jackets and make our way to the car.
But before we’re out the door, Wilder is right next to me, stopping me as Maddy walks on. “Star?”
I look up, not sure I even want to meet his eyes right now. “Yeah?”
“I don’t want to hurt you. You know that, right?” He reaches out and takes my hands.