by Cary Hart
take my whole life, too. Ohhh, for I can’t help, falling in love with you.”
Not saying a word, he holds me a little tighter and begins to lead us. Like two teenagers at a dance we repeat the motions over and over and over again. We dance, I sing. Until it’s over.
Reaching down, he pulls my face to his. Breathing in a kiss like it’s his last breath of air. “Thank you.” He rests his forehead against mine and confesses his fears. “I was afraid of the song, what it meant, but the words, how you sang them—it’s us.”
“Lee.” I try to look up. I need to see him. I need to touch him. I need his mouth back on mine.
“Don’t.” He holds a finger to my lips. “Some things are meant to be. Just like the song says and I know we both are dealing with a whole lot of fucked-up stuff, but Ellie, we came together for a reason. Call it fate or destiny or whatever, but I think it was meant to be. You have this way with me, of calming me.”
“Lee.” I raise my head.
“I love you, Ellie.”
He loves me.
He loves me.
He loves me.
His words echo in my head. A smile slowly spreads across my face.
“Did you hear me, Ellie?” His lips curl.
He’s back.
Lee’s words weren’t a desperate plea. They were a confession.
“I did.” I nod.
“I love you,” he repeats.
Hearing the words again, I can’t hold back. “I love you too!” I shout as I leap into his arms, knowing he will catch me. I wrap my legs around his waist, throw my head back and laugh.
“That funny, huh?”
“Yeah.” I nudge to the right, in the direction of everyone stopped. The band, the dance floor, hell, even the people at the bar are staring.
“Let them stare. Because I’m about to take the woman I love home.” He begins to shuffle his way through the crowd, keeping me attached like I’m some kind of spider monkey.
And what can I say to that?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lee
I’m standing in front of Ellie, the one person who believes in me and accepts me for the broken man I am, every jagged piece. I tried to push her away, but she pulled. And I fell. Hard.
The moments between leaving that dance floor to standing here, in front of each other, passed in a blur. We lost our clothes, one piece at a time, from the door to the bedroom. It wasn’t a game or even a race. It was a need. A need to be skin to skin.
My heartbeat rings in my ears as I stand at the foot of her bed, thinking about those words. That song. The way her hand over my heart felt so right. How her body moved against mine. Although she stands before me stripped bare, I can’t take my eyes off her face.
Staring into her eyes, I see desire there and I know she’s remembering, too. The way she felt in my arms, the music, the lyrics. Something so simple, but meaningful. We stay like this for what feels like eternity, each of us waiting to see who goes first, afraid to break the moment.
I want to be the man to worship her, but before I make my move she leans into me, her lips finding mine. I deepen the kiss and try to take charge, but she steps back and places a gentle kiss on my chest before moving to the other side of my chest and then my bicep, before working her way around me in a slow circle. Her lips hover over my skin, back to shoulders, her hand trailing behind, brushing my heated flesh before completing a circle, coming to stand in front of me, lips over my heart. Almost like it’s sealing in her affection.
I start to say her name, but only get as far as clearing my throat, before she takes my hand, and pulls me around to the side of the bed, asking me to lie down with just her touch. I climb onto the bed and tug her hand, pulling her with me. I’m propped up against pillows and she’s draped across me, her hands exploring my naked skin, as if she’s memorizing me. My hands fall to my sides, giving her complete control.
I know exactly how she feels. I did the same thing, committed every touch to memory. As her touch washes over me, the feel of what she’s offering frees me from all thoughts. It chases away the past. I rest my head, but never take my eyes off of her.
She climbs on top of me and I can’t help but reach out to steady her. My need for her grows as we lie skin to skin. My hands move down to her waist as she rocks against me.
My mouth captures her in a kiss that lets her know I’m hers. I give everything I have to her in that kiss, and everything I don’t have. With it she also takes every bad memory, every broken promise, and replaces it with her own.
We pour it all out in silence, in the gentle exhales. A single tear slides down her cheek and if I wasn’t lying down already, it would have brought me to my knees.
I shift us and gently roll, placing her beneath me. I rest on my forearms and cradle her face, wiping the tear with my thumb. I then capture her sadness and bring it to my mouth where I lick the pad of my thumb, never dropping my gaze. I make her a silent vow that I’ll always kiss away her tears.
She smiles and my heart feels like it could burst. Sitting back on my knees I shift her legs and pull her to me. She reaches down between us, stroking me. Her hands on me are enough to nearly send me over the edge.
Pulling her hands in mine, I kiss her palms before lifting our joined hands above her head and I take my place between her legs. I pause one last time, just to make sure this is what she wants. She nods, even though her eyes say it all. I gently slide into her, exhaling as I go, amazed at how she feels made just for me. I struggle to take my time, enjoying the feeling of who we are when connected so intimately. I set the pace—slow, passionate and a promise of forever.
After some time, our mouths find each other. Our bodies make beautiful music together without making a sound. This moment is soulful and means something words could never capture. I feel her getting closer, her breath quickens before I feel her climax around me and I can’t help but follow.
When we’ve both drained every bit we have to let go, I roll onto my back, taking her with me. I nestle my face into her neck, breathing
her in, and she releases a contented sigh. As we fall asleep, our bodies still joined, I think to myself how some things are truly meant to be.
Ellie
Last night was incredible. Emotions flying, I wanted to feel his pain until his hope came back. I wanted to be that for Lee. Give him the light to his darkness with every kiss, every touch.
“Time to shower.” Lee comes around to my side of the bed and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder.
“Put me down.” I kick and scream down the hall.
“Don’t move or I’m going to drop you.” He bends over to turn on the shower, letting it heat up before he climbs in and sets us both under the hot spray.
Being there in his arms I have never been so relaxed and felt completely taken care of by a man before. He grabs the soap and lathers up his hands before running them the length of my body. The journey is slow and tortuous as his hands move back up my legs, between my thighs, where I need him most. My desire grows but his touch isn’t just sexual, it’s like he’s memorizing every curve.
It’s empowering to see he’s as turned on as I am. I can feel his desire brush against me as he stands, continuing his cleaning around my ribs. Soapy fingers work their way up my arms and massage my shoulders as he moves around behind me.
Pulling my hair to the side, he places a kiss on the back of my neck. My head falls forward against cool tile and his lips devour my neck as his fingers trail ever so slowly across my collarbone before moving lower.
“I was thinking,” he whispers. My breasts rest in his palms and he twists my nipples ever so slightly.
“Uh-oh! That could be dangerous.” I try to tease him but I’m having trouble thinking. He pinches my nipple.
“Funny.” The fire he ignites causes me to back up against him, his hardness now pressed tightly against my lower back. “I was thinking, today we should go to the park.”
“Okay,” I moan. At this po
int I would do anything he asked of me. “Just don’t stop.”
He hisses and drops his hands, turning me to face him. “But first, I’m gonna take my time with you.”
“Lee,” I moan. “The par—”
“The park can wait, this can’t.”
The hunger in his eyes tells me he’s not joking. And with that he drops to his knees in front of me and shifts my body so the spray hits me square on my sensitive chest. My back arches with the first swipe of his tongue, I reach out to steady myself.
“I got you,” he murmers against my aching flesh, holding me in place. “I’ll always catch you.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ellie
I had a love-hate relationship with the park growing up. I loved it, but it came at a price—the park or music?—which I hated. But what kid didn’t want to go there? It was a place where you could be anyone you wanted to be. Where you could run free and use your loudest outside voice. Play with kids you would probably never play with again. It didn’t matter which side of the tracks you lived on. The park was just the park. No labels, no expectations. Free to be you. A kid.
I didn’t catch on until I was much older and the park became less popular that it had been offered up as a distraction, anything to detour me away from my passion.
My parents would fight about my lessons. I wanted to play the drums, but instead ended up with piano lessons. Then when I showed interest in the guitar, they suggested the violin. At the time I thought I was winning, but it was actually my mom compromising with my father.
The park? It was another one of those compromises. When I showed interest in beauty pageants, my father agreed until he learned there was a talent competition. I was pulled, but where did we go? The park.
A field trip to a local theater where a popular musical was featured? We skipped it. My parents decided to surprise me with a fun-filled day at the park.
The park. As much as I love it, I resent it. Yet today, it feels good to be back. Being here wasn’t a compromise or an obligation. It was a suggestion from the man I know would never make me choose.
Now here we are, bag across his chest, cooler in one hand and mine in the other, searching for a picnic spot.
“How about that tree?” He points at the one away from the playground, closer to the trails.
“It’s perfect.”
It really is. That old oak tree has been here since before I was born and it’s one I know all too well. It’s the exact same one my mother and I would set up a picnic under while we waited for my father to finish his run.
This tree was ours; we would lean against its thick trunk and sing about the day, making up songs about whatever was happening around us, a rare moment where it was just me and her enjoying what we both love to do.
Looking at the same spot as Lee spreads our blanket out I realize this was probably just as much my mom’s secret as mine. I always thought my father had something against me and my music, but it was her, too.
I only heard my mother singing when she was in the shower or in the car. Sometimes at night when my father was working late or times in the park when it was just us. But never when he was around.
“Hey.” Lee catches my attention. “You all right?”
Am I all right?
“I am. I mean, look at this.” I smile as I take in everything Lee has brought. A thick cotton blanket he pulled from the back of his truck. A couple pillows to lay our heads on and the most beautiful spread of food. Cold cuts, a couple cold salads and a bottle of wine. “When did you have time?”
“Well, I cheated.” He pats the empty spot beside him. “I called down to the restaurant and had them make this up. Took the cooler from my truck and packed it with ice.”
“But when?”
“When you were getting ready.” He chuckles. “You had the music blasting. It was the perfect time to call down.”
“Good looking, intelligent and devious.” I take the spot beside him. “I love it.”
“I love you.” I lean over for a quick kiss, one that is over way to soon.
“I love you too.”
I will never tire of hearing him say those three little words. I love you.
We spend the day just lying here. Talking, cuddling, sometimes I read, while he sketches out a couple designs, and sometimes we just stare at each other. It’s as if we are the only ones here. Just me, him and the open sky.
“You ready to go?” He begins to pack the cooler back up, setting it out of the way. The day of resting and snacking is winding down.
“I really don’t want it to end,” I confess. “I don’t think I have ever felt this relaxed.”
“Me neither.”
“But I guess—”
“Hold on. I have an idea.” He jumps up and jogs to the truck.
My guitar.
He takes his time walking back so he can be careful with it. The closer he gets the wider my smile becomes.
“I thought maybe you can play me something?” He sets it down in front of me while he takes a seat, resting against the trunk of my tree.
Our tree.
“Really?” I have the guitar out and in my hands before he can answer.
“Looks like I couldn’t change my mind now even if I wanted to.” He lets out one of those sexy laughs, the kind that vibrates through his whole body and mine. Causing my cheeks to heat.
I clear my throat. “Umm, no.”
After playing a few songs, I find myself sitting in the middle of the blanket, legs crossed, guitar in my lap, and notebook spread out in front of me. The notes are flying, the words are scribbled. The inspiration is sitting against the spot that kept me company for years.
When I have it just right, I play through it one more time, humming the lyrics as Lee is busy sketching more designs.
“Bravo.” He sets the pad down, leaning over to run his fingers through my hair before he claims my lips in a gentle kiss.
“Thank you.” I turn my head, embarrassed by what I’m about to confess. I have never written a song for someone I cared about before. Life experiences, heartache, cheating, friendship…I’ve written about
everything and anything, but a song about someone you love? Never. “It’s for you. Hey! What’s that?” I reach out and grab his notebook.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I flip through the pages and see it’s nothing but me playing my guitar.
“You weren’t supposed to see that.” He snatches the pad back from me.
“It’s me,” I whisper.
“Well, it’s just your guitar and hands. I don’t do faces.” He smiles. “The eyes always look like they are oversized like those Japanese comic books. What are they called?”
“Mangas.”
“Yeah, those.” Lee makes a circle with each hand and holds them over his eyes. “They are huge.”
“Well, this.” I take it back to examine his work. “It’s amazing. I love it.”
“Well, well, well. I thought you would’ve been long gone by now.” An unwelcome voice barges in on our time.
Lee jumps up, pulling me with him, and hides me behind him. “Who are you?”
“What? You mean Eloise Jane never told you about her parents?” My father’s eyes narrow as he looks between the two of us.
I step in front of Lee, doing my best to take the hit. My father and I are at war and I refuse to let Lee be drawn in to it. Nathaniel
Hawthorne is a powerful man and I will not let him manipulate his way into Lee’s life.
“What do you want, Father?”
He looks behind him, pointing to the trails he used to run all the time. “Calm down, I didn’t want anything. As far as I know it’s a public park.”
“It is,” I retort, unable to come up with the words I really want to say. Sometimes when I’m around him I turn back into a defenseless child, always saying yes when inside I’m screaming no.
“Well, aren’t you going to introduce us?” He takes a step forward, waiting for the int
roduction, but I don’t give one.
“Lee Scott, sir.” Lee steps forward, extending his hand. His grip firm, the shake controlled, but by who?
“Nathaniel Hawthorne, one of the top-rated security and corporate finance attorneys in the Midwest.” He nods in my direction. “Also, Eloise’s father.”
“Nice to meet you, sir.”
“You may call me Mr. Hawthorne.” He drops Lee’s hand and examines his own before he gives it a quick swipe against his running shorts.
Lee gives me an “is this guy for real” look. All I can do is wince and shake my head.
“What’s wrong, Eloise? You’ve always been the talker. If I recall you had so much to say before you left for what I thought was Nashville.”
That is just like him, never taking ownership of anything. It’s always someone else’s fault. He always used to say, “I may be wrong, but I will make them believe I’m right.”
“I didn’t leave, Father. You threw me out with nothing except a bag of clothes.”
My father shakes his head and turns to Lee. “Can you believe this spoiled little brat?” He jerks his thumb toward me. “You show them a little tough love and they get all emotional about it.” My father takes a step toward me, a smirk plastered across his face. “Honey, you are twenty-three years old. You wanted to live your own life? Well, I just gave you a little push.”
“Holy shit! You are something else, you know that?” I take a step forward. Having Lee here gives me the extra strength I didn’t know I had. “I tried to live my life. I tried to pursue a career, make my own choices, but they weren’t your choices. Were they, Father?”
“Mr. Hawthorne, I would ask you to stay, but it seems as if you are upsetting my girlfriend. I need you to leave.” Lee is now in front of me.
Not waiting for the outcome, I start packing up the rest of our things. If he isn’t going to leave, then we will.