Suzanne could feel her muscles tighten. Mother understood nothing. “I sent a telegram. I am unable to leave at this time.”
“And I am here to demand you reconsider.”
“I can’t, Mother.”
“He is your fiancé.”
“No, Mother. He was my fiancé two years ago. When he chose to travel to London to see someone, we parted ways. I don’t owe the Plankstons anything.” She knew she sounded harsh, but she refused to let Mother change her stance on this issue.
She expected Mother to reply with anger, but instead, her shoulders slumped and she leaned forward in her seat. She rested her head in her hands for a moment before pulling herself together.
“They lost their son, Suzanne,” she said. “He left for London in pain and chose never to return. Do you understand what that might feel like? Not only did their son choose not to live, but that stigma, that embarrassment will forever follow them. As their friends we must stand by them so that others will know to do the same.”
“His death does not change what happened.” Suzanne looked away. She had run away and chosen not to return as well, though not in the same way. “He chose to give me my life back and I’ve made something of myself because of that.”
“Why did you leave?” Mother asked.
“Me? You know all this. Jada and I left to pursue my dreams.” She gestured around her. “I am going to be a star.”
Mother rolled her eyes. “A star? You are joining other women parading about onstage with little between them and the audience. It is not what I had planned for you.”
“It is what I planned for myself. And I am happy. Can’t you be proud of that, Mother?” Suzanne swallowed back a lump in her throat. She wasn’t supposed to care about what her mother thought. That woman had made more bad choices than Suzanne cared to count, and yet she found herself hoping for her approval.
“I will always be proud of you, Suzanne,” Mrs. Haskins began. “Disappointment is different. I raised you to be a lady, not to abandon the family who loved you so. I did not raise you to hurt a grieving family. You need to return to Richmond and say good-bye to Elton.”
“You raised me?” Suzanne retorted. She stood up and walked toward the window. “Any values that were instilled in me came from Jada and her mother. Cicely is who I remember scolding me when I stole the neighbor’s pie off their window when I was four, and it was Cicely who showed me how to do my hair for church when I was older. It was never you. You were the woman who I ate dinner with and who inspected the work Cicely did. And you never seemed to even like her, let alone respect her.”
“Suzanne, stop. You are not being fair. I taught you to play piano and chose only the best schools for you. Cicely was just the help.”
“Just the help?” Suzanne glared at her. “She died working for us.”
Mrs. Haskins shifted awkwardly and avoided Suzanne’s eyes. “Her death was tragic. Had I only kept her inside that day? But your father and I fought and I sent her away. More than anything I regret that. I lost everything that day.”
It was Suzanne’s turn to look away. She never told anyone what she overheard her parents arguing over, nor the anger she witnessed in her mother. Some family secrets shouldn’t be revealed.
“I lost everything too,” Jada said. She stood in the doorway with a tray filled with cookies and glasses of tea. “I lost my family, my home, and my safety in one instant.”
Mrs. Haskins went to Jada’s side and took the tray from her. “I do know that you lost a lot that day.”
“Do you?” Jada’s reply was quick. “Because you never once wrote. I’ve tried to keep you in touch with Suzanne’s career and not once have you reached out to us. I left forwarding information at every hotel that we stayed at hoping that you would try to find us, to find Suzanne. It’s been almost two years; why now?”
Suzanne met her mother’s eyes and waited for a response. She’d known about the letters, but not about Jada’s hopes to be followed, nor how easy she’d made it for them to be found. Why hadn’t Mother or Father come for her? Perhaps they were happier without her around. Then they both could go about doing whatever they wanted with whomever they pleased.
The tray clanged loudly as Mrs. Haskins placed it on a side table. “This is very unseemly, Jada.”
“I’ll tell you why it matters now.” Jada was on a roll now. “It matters because suddenly it is your reputation that is on the line. You are worried that if Suzanne doesn’t return to say good-bye to a man who deserted her that it will make you look bad. Embarrass you.”
“She needs to be there,” Mrs. Haskins repeated. “It is her duty.”
“Is that the only reason you came, Mother?” Suzanne asked. Jada’s anger had inflamed her own. “Two years of little contact and now this grand gesture all for Elton? Is that all I am worth to you, a husband?”
“Of course not. I came to bring you home.” Mrs. Haskins went to Suzanne and tried to put an arm around her waist, but Suzanne stepped away and went to Jada instead.
“What Suzanne said is true.” Jada glared at the woman. “Leaving now is nearly impossible. They open in Boston in two weeks. We have worked for this ever since we left home. She shouldn’t have to risk all of that for a man who left her and a family who turned their back on her. Suzanne is unable to attend. We will send the Plankstons a letter and flowers if we are able.”
Mrs. Haskins’s glare hardened. “I had thought better of you girls. You were both raised to value family.” She folded her hands together and waited.
Suzanne had had enough. “We’ve been over this, Mother. You have come a long way and I appreciate the effort, but you will not change our minds.” And uneasy silence fell between the women. After a time Suzanne cleared her throat and offered, “Since you have come all this way, would you like to go out for dinner?” Suzanne tilted her head and smiled, hoping to charm her mother out of this horrible mood. “Perhaps I could show you around where I work.”
Rolling her shoulders, Mrs. Haskins replied, “No, I don’t think so. I have tickets back to Richmond that leave tonight. I promised Mrs. Plankston that I’d help make the suitable arrangements. I can’t leave her alone at such a time.”
“She has Mr. Plankston,” Suzanne said. “Please, stay one night. You could come to rehearsal and meet my friends.”
“I think not.” Mrs. Haskins placed her hand on Suzanne’s cheek. “You have made a life for yourself. You fought hard for it. I hope it is everything you wished it would be. I, however, should not be a part of it.”
“At least let me take you to the train station,” Suzanne insisted. “Jada, will you get my shawl and hat?” Jada happily left the room.
“You needn’t trouble yourself,” Mrs. Haskins sniffed.
“I want to,” Suzanne insisted. “I’ve missed you.”
“Your running away proves otherwise.”
This visit wasn’t about Elton after all. This was about finally having a reason to bring her home. Perhaps her mother missed her more than she realized. She was wrong in insisting that Suzanne return home, but perhaps she did deserve an explanation.
“That day, the day I ran away, it wasn’t as simple as you probably think.” Suzanne gestured for them to sit on the sofa. “Once Jada discovered her parents’ bodies, she knew she had to leave. And I chose to go with her, but it wasn’t just to avoid Elton and my failed relationship.”
“No?” Mrs. Haskins looked skeptical. “What else could it be?”
“That afternoon, I was outside the door when you and Father fought. I know about him and Cicely. I know about their affair. You were so angry and said horrible things about her. I couldn’t face you.”
Mrs. Haskins’s face was white and her mouth slightly ajar. “You know?”
“I know.”
“All those years we tried to keep it from you. All those years of lying and you found out anyway.” Mrs. Haskins shook her head.
“All those years?” Suzanne repeated. “I didn’t realize, I me
an. How long was it going on?”
Mrs. Haskins’s cheeks darkened. “I’ve said too much.”
“No, Mother. How long?” Suzanne had to know the answer. “Cicely loved her husband. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Your father loved—loves—me too, Suzanne. But love is complicated.”
“How long?” Suzanne repeated. She would not let Mrs. Haskins derail the conversation.
“I don’t know.”
“A few years?” Suzanne pushed. When her mother shrugged she pushed further. “Longer?”
Mrs. Haskins got up and walked across the room. “It was on and off. I knew it started before I had you and then started back up five years ago. Please don’t make me explain the details, Suzanne. It is between me and your father.”
Before she was born? Suzanne swallowed a sour taste in her mouth. “I’m sorry, Mother. No wonder you were so upset. I had no idea. Were they in love?”
“I said I don’t want to discuss it. It is over now and your father is better for it. Some women just don’t know when enough is enough.”
“You don’t seriously mean Cicely ran after Father?” The very idea seemed comical. Cicely was a beautiful woman and Mr. Haskins pudgy and distempered. Suzanne loved her father, but he was no Casanova.
“Who knows what those animals do.” The anger in her mother’s voice put Suzanne’s hair on end.
“Mother,” Suzanne whispered. Jada would be back any moment and she didn’t need to hear any of this.
“Well, it is true. What that woman did to get a better position was disgraceful. If she hadn’t come to an ill end, I would have acted myself.”
Suzanne’s nostrils flared. “There. That is why I had to leave. That anger in your voice. That blame. I couldn’t live near it. Not knowing what happened to them. I’d always question the truth of what happened.”
Mrs. Haskins glared at her. “You think that I could hurt Cicely? She was a friend of mine for at least two decades. She helped me settle into married life. I’d not let anything bad happen to her.”
“Those are just words. And perhaps you believe them, but I don’t.”
“I don’t have to listen to this.” Mrs. Haskins grabbed her clutch from the side table. “When you are finished insulting me, feel free to write.”
She pushed past Jada, who was standing in the doorframe, a shawl and birch hat in her hands. Suzanne prayed she hadn’t been standing there long. She didn’t need to know about Cicely and Mr. Haskins.
“Your mother left?” she asked.
“Yes, she is gone.” Suzanne flinched as the front door slammed shut. “On second thought, I believe I will go out with Ann tonight. Is my green dress pressed?” she asked.
Jada blinked. “I will pull it out for you.”
“And the ivory gloves that friend of yours made. I just love the rose buttons.”
As Jada rushed off to get her outfit ready for the evening, Suzanne pulled back the curtain and watched Mrs. Haskins climb into her cab and drive away. She hadn’t meant for that conversation to go so horribly wrong, but now that it was out, she knew there was no other way it could have gone. She’d write to her mother, soon, but for now, she’d take care of herself. And that meant dazzling New York society.
CHAPTER 13
After an hour of dressing and redressing Suzanne’s hair, Jada finally closed the door and found herself alone in the front parlor. She waved dutifully from the window until Suzanne’s driver pulled away from the curb. For the first time she was grateful for the endless evenings of parties. Spending the evening with Suzanne after what she overheard was too much.
Over the years she had heard her mother crying in the evenings and, occasionally, her father raging on about the cost of working for the Haskins, but she never understood what they were referring to. She assumed they worried about her closeness with Suzanne or the little time they were together as a family. Never did she think it was about Mr. Haskins forcing himself upon her mother. And that is what it had to be. Jada’s mother and father were in love, more than most couples Jada knew. And Mr. Haskins, although always kind to Jada, never presented himself as a suitor to her mother.
Despite Mrs. Haskins’s departure hours before, the parlor still smelled like her lilac oil. Jada dropped the curtain and stepped back from the window. This was no good. She needed to not think for a time. Without another thought she grabbed her handbag and slipped out into the night.
There was only one place that could make Jada forget what she overheard between Suzanne and Mrs. Haskins: Roger’s nightclub.
* * *
“Jada!” Roger exclaimed from behind the bar. “Is Sally coming tonight?”
“I’m on my own for now, I’m afraid,” Jada called back. “Sally might come later.”
There were three gentlemen leaning on the bar, chatting together. They turned and tipped their hats to Jada as she spoke with Roger. She smiled back.
“What brings you in here so early tonight?” Roger wiped the bar dry with a rag.
Jada gestured toward Danny, who was warming up at the piano. “I needed to clear my head.”
“Here, on the house.” Roger filled a glass with one of the beers from the tap.
Jada took the glass. “Thanks, Roger.”
“If she doesn’t make it tonight, tell Sally I missed her.”
Suzanne nodded and walked toward the booths she and Sally had sat at. Most of the booths were empty. Two men sat at a table playing cards, and at another two women sipped beers and laughed at each other’s stories.
“Jada! Darling, come over here!” In the farthest booth, Oliver sat waving his hands and gesturing for Jada to join him.
“Oliver, hi!” she replied as she sat across from him. “I didn’t think you liked to come to such places.”
“Sally been buzzing in your ear, I see.”
“She adores you.” Jada glanced around to be sure Sally wasn’t there somehow. “She only mentioned it because she worries about you.”
“Well, I make an exception to my rules for Roger’s place.” He took a sip of a pink drink. “It doesn’t help that business is booming. All thanks to you.”
Jada raised her drink to him in a mock salute and took a drink.
“Is Danny due for a break anytime soon?” She smiled at Danny, who was swaying boldly to the song he was playing.
Oliver followed her gaze and leaned back with a smirk on his face. “Finally someone seeing that man for what he is. Danny is a peach.”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. I’m not here because he is handsome.” She clenched her hands and cursed her big mouth. “Not that he isn’t handsome.” Stop talking, she scolded herself.
“You, Miss Jada, are wonderful,” Oliver said as he chuckled. His blue eyes shown with bright tears. “I didn’t think you were searching for a man, come on. Some of us have more important things to think about. But it doesn’t hurt to watch him.”
Jada relaxed and smiled. Oliver understood. Danny ended the peppy tune and started a slower piece that reminded Jada of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart.” Once the introduction was over she winked at Oliver and started to sing with Danny quietly so as not to bother anyone. Oliver’s eyes widened as she sang.
Let me call you sweetheart
I’m in love with you
Let me hear you whisper
That you love me too
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I’m in love with you
“You’ve got the voice of an angel. Anyone ever tell you that?”
“One of the women at my church back in Richmond tried to get me to sing the lead solo, but I never took her up on it. It felt better to work on blending in with Mother and the rest of the choir instead.”
“And now?” Oliver leaned back in the booth.
“Now? Well, Mother is gone and there is no one to want to sing beside. I would be happy to belt out a worship song until everyone had fallen to thei
r knees in prayer.” She grinned. “Singing always brings me peace, no matter the venue or audience. It does something no other form of expression can do.”
“Then that is what you should be doing with your life. Darling, do you think someone handed me scissors and asked me to design fashion? Gracious me, no! I’ve been hunting for my own future and am all the happier for it. You need to fight for yours too.”
“Thank you.” She took another sip of her beer.
Oliver’s eyes were stuck on her and soon Jada found herself squirming under the pressure of the silence.
“If I tell you a secret, will you tell me one in return?” His question was sudden.
“I’ll try,” Jada replied.
Oliver leaned forward. “You saved my life.”
“What?” Jada leaned forward to meet him. “How? I hardly know you.”
“Your friend shared my name and suddenly my little business is a success. I’ve had requests for fifty gloves last week alone. Her friend showed off the beading on the gloves I made her at some party downtown and now these hands are in demand.” He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers.
“I had no idea Suzanne even listened to me explain who you were or where I found you. I am so glad!”
“I’ve never been so happy. Miss Fanny Brice herself came to see me. That woman has no fear. She requested a crimson pair with black beads up the side. I am having so much fun working with Mr. Ziegfeld’s women. They are the cat’s meow.” He rolled his r’s like a purr and Jada laughed.
“They are interesting and unique women,” she agreed.
“Your turn.” Oliver finished his drink and waited.
“Okay.” Jada exhaled. “I wish I were onstage instead of Suzanne.”
The words felt sweet on her lips. However often she had had that same thought, she’d never spoken the words out loud. Now that she had, she felt lighter.
“Girl, what is stopping you?” Oliver gestured toward Danny and the small stage. “Go get onstage.”
Danny finished the last few notes of the song and stopped. “I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he announced.
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