A few of his sisters and cousins came out, hopping on their rides. Two even offered to give me a ride back but I waved them on, insisting I would wait for Justin. By six thirty I was cold and by seven I couldn’t feel my toes anymore. Sighing deeply I headed back into the office. I passed through a series of halls and doors before I found my way to Justin’s office. I started to knock but noticed the door was open. I slid inside to find an empty office. His coat was still here and his coffee was still warm. He hadn’t gone far.
I stood leaning against his desk waiting for him to return. It was then I heard two voices arguing. One of them was Justin. “Just stay out of it. It’s none of your business,” Justin said firmly.
“I’m tired of seeing you get hurt. Let the girl go - she finished her cases, send her home. All that is going to happen is you’ll get attached and when she leaves you’ll be broken hearted again. It’s been wonderful having you back, and I would really like to keep you.” I then recognized the voice. It was Lucus. Even he thought I was going to break Justin's heart.
“From an operational standpoint it would be nuts to send her home. She finished her cases in less than a week. That never happens. You don’t get rid of top performers this close to the show. As for my heart, let me worry about it.” Justin’s tone was deadly serious.
I wanted to rush in there, throw my arms around him and tell his father to give me a chance. I also knew that that was rushing it. I had an interview the next day that was for a job far away from here. Justin would never leave and I wasn’t sure I could stay… or that I was even welcome.
Justin popped back in the office and was startled to find me. “Is it six already?” he asked, turning his wrist to look at his watch.
“Actually, it’s past seven. I got cold waiting so I figured I would come in and see if I could give you a hand with anything.” I did my best to appear unaware of his argument with Lucus.
“I’m really sorry. You should have just gone on without me.” He seemed totally distracted. “Oh, hey, I heard you finished ten cases. That’s really impressive. Do you think you’ll be leaving soon?” he asked nonchalantly.
“I’m really enjoying my time here. My contract is until Christmas Eve, so I planned on staying here until then. I figured I could help with the backlog. There are a few cases that I think need extra attention and now I have the time to devote to them.” I shrugged. “Unless you really want your room back.”
“No, it’s OK. You can stay as long as you like.” He stopped. “You know what, I’m being selfish. You did your job. You should go home and see your family.
His words hit me like a slap. I just came to a crashing halt. I let out my breath slowly. “Are you really that worried about what people are saying? Or do you think your family is right and it’s all just going to end in heartbreak?” I turned on my heel, ignoring his shocked face, and marched out of the office and then right out of the building. Thirty-five minutes later, frozen, angry, and fit to kill, I stormed into the little room we had come to share. I started to slam the door closed but couldn’t bring myself to be that disrespectful.
Justin was already home, sitting in front of the fire. “You were already there. I could have given you a ride back.”
I marched past him and went to the closet, throwing it open so I could pack. I tossed the suitcase open and just dumped my belongings into it. “Fine, you want me to leave, I’ll go home.” I forced myself to stop talking so I didn’t say something I didn’t really mean.
He came over and closed my suitcase. “Stop, you’re pouting like a child. Haven’t you heard the song - you’d better not pout because Santa Claus is coming to town.”
“I have, but I’m pretty sure they only excluded assholes from the song because of the decade it was written in.” I shoved the suitcase open.
He closed it again. “Don’t leave. We could really use you and you’re a lot of fun to be around.”
“Look, Justin, I get it - you’ve been burned before. I may not have been around for centuries but the truth is I’ve been burned too. Yeah, this could end badly. It could end where we part as dear friends. Or this could be the best thing that ever happened to either of us, but if we let fear stop us before we even start then there is no point.” I swallowed back what almost felt like a lump. “Be honest with me. I can handle the truth if you’re not interested. Just don’t jerk me around. You said you wanted to give this a shot, but if you don’t want to anymore tell me.”
He growled deep in his throat. “I want to give us a shot but I know you’re going to leave. Everyone always leaves. My family has been guardians of this season for thousands of years. I have a bunch of sisters and even more cousins. Only Helen and I stayed. Everyone else left. If I can’t count on my own bloodline, why would I be able to count on anyone else?”
“Wow, you really are broken aren’t you?” I asked as I reached out to cup his cheek. “I can’t promise we’ll last forever, but I do promise one hell of a ride.”
He turned his head and kissed my palm. “I’m more than seven times your age and you’re better at this whole complicated emotional stuff than I am.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I’m a product of the American public school system. If I didn’t fall in love and want to crawl in a locker and die by lunch it was a slow day.” He laughed. “If you want me to go home, I will. Give me permission and I’ll go back and work from home. There is a lot of good I can do if you let me. If you want me to stay and we don’t get any more involved, I can do that too.”
“Grace, what scares me is that I already like you. I already worry about whether you are wearing enough layers and wonder what you did each day. My favorite parts of the day are the parts I spend with you. That’s dangerous because like can turn into something more when you least expect it.” He stood up and tugged me to follow him back to sit by the fire.
“Tell me what happened. Obviously, something happened,” I urged.
His eyes shifted to someplace far off as he remembered. “It wasn’t just one thing. It was a string of things. I’ve fallen in love and been dumped a dozen times. Last time was ten years ago. It was my sister’s best friend. We had practically grown up together. She knew what it was like to be from up here. She came in over Thanksgiving weekend and we connected. The next three weeks were amazing. On Christmas Eve at the big Santa kickoff party I proposed. In front of everyone she said no then explained to me how she couldn’t be stuck here. In private I offered to go with her. She told me that I would never be happy anywhere but here. She said staying with me would be like a cold, slow death sentence.” He clapped his hands together. “So I swore off women.”
“And did what? Date Polar Bears? I’ve been in bed with you. That was not nookie from an out of practice man. That was passionate and fun and really, really good.” I almost sighed thinking about it.
He chuckled. “Glad to know you enjoyed it. I didn’t mean I stopped being interested in woman. I just didn’t get involved with them.”
“Ah. I see.” I was working my way through processing my feelings about the story when he hit me with the zinger.
“So what makes a girl who is obviously close to her family, and who talks to her Mom and Dad every day, move to the other side of the country and basically forget she’s half Werewolf?”
I shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. “I finished school and got involved with a guy. We bought a house together and announced we were engaged. Then he disappeared and left me worried sick. When he reappeared he had found his Soul Mate and they had already been bound. So I was looking for a new job and I took the first one that would put an entire country between us. It’s part of why I don’t really like going home.”
“Is he Were?” he asked
“Yep, part of Clan MacKay.” I let out a heavy breath.
“Ouch, aren’t your Clans deeply intermixed?” He actually winced as he asked.
“Yup, made better when his Soul Mate was my cousin Ella.” I looked around the room for any reason to change the
subject.
“Soul Mates are rare and really important in families like yours.” He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close.
“I know, and I don’t hate them. It just makes family functions really awkward. Ella and I were really close. I don’t have any sisters, but I had Ella.” I leaned my head back against his shoulder.
“So what happens now?” he asked.
I was feeling as lost as he was. “I think we eat dinner.” As if by magic, Joy knocked on the door, asking us if we were going to come eat.
Chapter Eleven
The week flew by. I returned to sleeping on the cot and it was like Justin was my best friend. We had tacitly agreed to enjoy each other’s company but to otherwise cool our jets. I managed to clear out fourteen backlogged cases during the rest of the week, and by Friday, I was ready for the weekend.
I sat on the snowmobile waiting for Justin to finish work. One of his cousins appeared at my side. “Gracie, you guys are coming skating tonight, right?”
I blinked at her in incomprehension. “I have no clue. Justin hasn’t mentioned it.”
She smiled warmly. “Auntie Joy has been planning it all week. Even if Justin is grumpy, you should still come. It will be a lot of fun.”
I thanked her and told her I would think about it. When Justin finally appeared something felt off. “Are you ok?” I asked as he slid on the snowmobile behind me.
“Huh?”
“Earth to Justin, come in Justin. Are you feeling alright? You look shook up.” I looked at him over my shoulder but when he didn’t answer I shrugged it off. Maybe it had just been a long week for him too. We dashed along the surface of the snow towards the main house. We arrived to be greeted by people heading out with their skates.
I bounced into the room looking for my skates. “Hey Justin, where did you put my skates?”
“Why?” He looked surprised.
“Because your mom has evidentially planned some big skating shindig on the lake and I want to get going.” I looked under a pile of clothes in the closet.
“We don’t have to go to that. We can stay in and relax if you want.” I thought it was strange - he had obviously brought my skates from my house specifically for such a function and now he didn’t want to go.
“I love skating. No matter how big the problems of the world seem, I always feel better when I’m gliding.”
There was a knock on the door. “Come on in,” I called over my shoulder, expecting Joy to pop in and ask if we were ready.
“Are you almost ready?” asked a chipper female voice I didn’t recognize. I turned around expecting to see one of Justin’s cousins or sisters. Instead there was a beautiful Halfling. She had small, pointed ears and the heart-shaped face of an Elf on a Dwarven body. She also had my skates hung over her shoulder.
She grabbed Justin’s hand, giving it a playful tug. “I found these skates in the closet. They’re really nice, I was surprised your sister gave them up.”
I stood up. “She didn’t. Those are mine.” The girl’s eyes turned and noticed me for the first time.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought they were Helen’s old pair.” She pulled them off her shoulder and held them out to me.
“No worries,” I said accepting them. “I’m sorry, I’m Grace,” I said, holding out my hand and smiling.
She took my hand, pumping it enthusiastically. “Hi, I’m Gwenna, Justin’s fiancé.”
A shocking pain clenched my head and heart. I slapped a hand over my eye as it began to twitch. I was sure I was having an aneurism. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that he had one.”
She turned, poking him in the stomach. “I just accepted today.”
I looked at Justin, who was pale. No wonder he was distracted on the way home. No wonder he had lost interest in me this week. I forced a smile to my face, still covering my twitching eye. “Congratulations.”
Justin opened his mouth to say something but Gwenna cut him off. “We’re going to tell everyone at the party tonight.”
“Well then you’ll need these.” I handed her my skates. “I should stay in tonight and pack. I’ve finished all my cases so I think I’m going to head home early.”
“Oh wow! That will be great for you. Most people don’t finish this early. You must be really good at your job.” Her smile was warm as she looped her arms around Justin’s waist. We exchanged a few more pleasantries before they left.
I closed the door behind them, sinking to the floor. “What the hell just happened?” I asked nobody in particular. I spent the rest of the evening packing. I thought about taking down my decorations but I didn’t want to think about the Holidays at all. He could just keep them, they were tainted.
I picked up my phone and dialed my mother. “Gracie? It’s late, dear. Is everything ok?”
Somehow my Mom’s all-knowing tone was all it took. I broke down, sobbing. “Justin just got engaged.”
“Well that’s exciting news! Joy and I knew there was something special between the two of you. We just didn’t know it would happen so quickly.” I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it as if that would reveal the trees obviously growing out my mother’s ears.
“How do you know Joy?” I asked with a shaking voice.
“We’re Facebook friends. We play those farming games together.” I rolled my eyes. My mother had been obsessed with those games since she discovered them three years ago.
“Missing the point, Mom. He’s engaged. I’m not.” Just saying it caused all the air to leave my lungs.
“Well that doesn’t sound right. Are you sure you heard correctly?” I wanted to cry harder. Where were the words of love and encouragement?
“Yes, Mom, I’m sure. I just met her.” My throat hurt from the force of fighting back tears.
“Come home baby. Come back to your family who loves you. You’ve been gone too long. You’ll come back, we’ll have a nice holiday and you can heal.” That was more like it. Only the idea of leaving hurt as much as staying.
“Mom, I don’t want to go home. I think I just want to go back to Portland.” I bit my lip. “I don’t think I can handle Yule or Christmas this year. Tell people to just leave me alone. Please.” She was silent on the other end of the line.
“I’ll come out there. Your father and uncle can handle things here.” I almost swore.
“No Mom, I’m a big girl. I’ll be ok.” I just wanted to crawl into a hole and lick my wounds.
“Gracie, you know we love you, right?” she asked finally.
“Yes, Mom. I know you love me.” I took a deep breath.
“Don’t do anything crazy. Alright?” It hit me then - between the job and this incident with Justin she was genuinely worried I would do something.
“Mom, I won’t do anything crazy, I promise. If I think about it, I’ll call.” She seemed satisfied because she let me off the phone. I snuggled under the blankets on my cot and prayed sleep would come sooner than later. After another round of crying, sleep finally won out.
When I woke up the next morning the room was still dark. I could make out Gwenna’s form on the bed, but she was alone. That at least made me feel mildly better. I quietly slid out the door and across the walkway into the kitchen. Joy was busy making breakfast. I tiptoed past her, hoping to make it to the bathroom undetected.
I brushed my teeth quickly. I wanted to just take care of my basic needs and go home. The fewer people I had to say goodbye to the better off I would be. I looked in the mirror finally and cringed. My hair was a wild tangle, my eyes were red and puffy from crying and my skin was pale. The black circles under my eyes almost marked me as undead. I looked away. Of course, she was beautiful and sweet - what wasn’t to love? It must have been love at first sight.
When I re-entered the kitchen, Justin was talking to Joy. I thought I ducked fast enough, but they spotted me. Joy took one look at me and started to say something but I held up a hand. “I just want to go home,” I said. Justin grabbed my arm and
turned me around. I looked in his eyes and felt tears prick at my own.
“I’ll take you. Are you ready to see your family?” I shook my head.
“I don’t want to go to my parents’ house. I just want to go home to my little apartment. I’ve had enough people the last few weeks. I don’t think I could stand being at my parents’ house.” I pulled my arm free and walked back to the bedroom.
Gwenna watched from her spot on the bed as Justin helped me gather everything up. She didn’t say a word as he tossed the fake snow into the air to take me home. The world shifted around us and soon we were standing in my dark little living room.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I took back my belongings he held.
“I’ll bring you the decorations later this weekend. You’ll need something to spruce this place up with.” He forced a smile.
“Keep them, burn them, do whatever. I don’t care, I don’t want them anymore.” I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I knew if I looked at him I would cry.
“Grace, I know what this all looks like but it’s not what you think.” He started explaining it to me. “Gwenna was that girl I proposed to. I hadn’t seen her since that night. She just showed up on Friday and said she was ready to settle down.”
“I’m not mad. How can I be mad at you for being in love? I just wish I would stop getting attached to guys who can’t give me their hearts.” I opened my eyes to look at him. The tears started tumbling down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what I want,” he said. “She and I made so much sense. You and I feel like I always thought it would. I just don’t know what to say or do.”
“I think if the answer isn’t obvious, I’m probably not that girl for you. I hope you’re really happy.”
He reached out and brushed away the tears. “Grace, I don’t want to leave you like this. You don’t deserve to be miserable like this.”
“Yes, but you deserve to be happy.” I forced a smile. “Go on and leave before this gets more embarrassing for me.”
In a swirl he was gone. Somehow I found the strength to crawl to bed. I didn’t leave it except to go to the bathroom and occasionally eat something. Hours passed, days passed and the only thing to mark the passing of time and alert the world that I was still alive was Netflix posting everything I watched on my laptop to my timeline.
Holiday Spirit for Hire Page 10