Tom reached down and picked the seat of his, her, pants. “Christ, I have no idea how anyone can wear a thong. This thing keeps shooting up my ass.”
“TMI, dipshit.”
He shrugged. “So why Ed and not you?”
“I think I know the reason,” Christy replied. “She and him. They’re both that new breed.”
“Neo-vamps,” I offered.
“Yeah, but he’s the only one capable of siring more.”
“But I thought they can’t be compelled,” Kelly said. “Isn’t that kinda the whole point?”
I waved that off. “Doesn’t matter. Gan’s the type who instills absolute loyalty into her servants. Hell, even before she changed she told me she used compulsion sparingly. But now the slate has been wiped completely clean. Out with the old, in with the new. She can force Ed to create a whole new race of vampires, one that she can mold into her own twisted image.”
Tom stepped over and clapped me on the back. “I know we’ve been here before, Bill, but it bears repeating. Your wannabe girlfriend is a fucking nutcase.”
I automatically moved to smack him upside the head, but then paused when I saw Sheila’s face staring back at me.
He smirked at my hesitation. “Pussy says what?”
Yeah, this was going to require some getting used to.
THE HELL IN A HAND BASKET EPILOGUE
The sky began to lighten in the east, meaning I’d need to head inside soon. Back when I’d first become human again, I used to come up here to the roof and enjoy both the sunrise as well as not being immolated by it.
The novelty soon wore off, though, and I eventually stopped. Hell, even when Sheila and I were together, I don’t think we came up here more than once or twice.
Now it would never happen again for either of us. But she wasn’t the only one on my mind as I...
There came a knock from behind me. “Penny for your thoughts?”
I turned to find Christy climbing out of the trapdoor.
“Just thinking about ... stuff.”
“Sally or Sheila?”
“A bit of both. It’s weird. A part of me insists I should be crying my eyes out over Sheila, but I can’t because she’s down there looking as alive as ever.”
Christy stepped up beside me and rested her head on my shoulder. “Believe me. I understand.”
“I don’t know. Maybe she did me a favor walking out when she did. Let me get my mourning out of the way ahead of time. Either way, it all feels a lot weirder than it does sad.”
Christy let out a long breath. “There’s gotta be something karmic in all of this. My ex-fiancé’s soul in your ex’s body.”
“Fate can be a fucked up thing,” I said. “Speaking of which, what’s he up to?”
She gave a small chuckle. “He’s ... trying to figure out how to use the bathroom again. I figured it might be best to slip out before he asked me to come in and give him some pointers.”
“Just wait until it’s that time of the month.”
“Wonderful. And here I was thinking I wouldn’t have to worry about tampon advice until Tina was older.”
Speaking of which, both Tina and Vincent had arrived some hours earlier, neither worse for the wear. After doting on her little girl – who seemed far less freaked out than the rest of us – Christy had tucked her into my bed. It hadn’t taken long for her to fall asleep. Despite the excitement, Cat was thoroughly exhausted from the past day.
Her daughter safe and sound, Christy had gotten back to work examining Sally, prompting me to head up here once it became painfully obvious I was annoying them with my constant questions as to her condition. “So...”
“You can ask. We’ve done all we can do for now.”
“How ... is she?”
“Alive.”
“Are you...”
She looked up and met my gaze. “Yes, I’m sure. It’s weird, though. Like she’s in some sort of chrysalis. I can sense her in there, but something is happening.”
“You’re certain?”
Christy raised an eyebrow. “Even if my magic wasn’t back I’d still make that guess.”
“I don’t know. I was standing right there. You should have seen all of that...”
“Power?” she finished. “That’s exactly how I know. Do you think for one second Gan would’ve let that much energy rain down upon her if she thought there was a chance she’d die?”
I considered that. “With her ego? I doubt it.”
“It’s not just her ego.” Christy gritted her teeth as if she found her next words to be bitter. “She doesn’t do anything unless she has the advantage. The old gods, they can be treacherous, but they don’t break a bargain lightly. There’s power in a promise, and that’s not just a saying. This wasn’t merely some crossroads deal with the devil, trading her soul for money.”
I shook my head. “Not her style. She probably had a thousand mystics pour over the contract before she even considered signing on the dotted line.”
“Lawyers, too. Whatever she bargained for, I guarantee it was in her favor.”
“Except it missed her and hit Sally.”
Christy nodded, then turned to face the sunrise. “Exactly. The only question now is what that bargain was for.”
“So that means we wait?”
“Yes, but not here.”
“Huh?”
“I want to take Sally back to my place where I can keep a proper eye on her. Make sure nothing goes wrong.”
“Your place? But the police...”
She held up a hand, sending a spark of yellowish energy crackling through it. “Trust me, nobody will ever know anything amiss ever happened there.”
I paused for a moment. “Are you happy to have it back?”
“My apartment?”
“You know what I mean.”
She blew out a long breath. “Do you want the truth?”
“Always.”
“I’m terrified and excited at the same time, and it’s not just for me. Take a sniff of the air. Can you sense it?”
“Garbage and car exhaust?”
She chuckled. “No, energy ... the power of the veil mixing with this world. It’s all back again, stronger than ever. Everything has changed.”
“It has, hasn’t it? But how much?”
“Who can say?” She took my hand in hers. “Besides, whatever happens, we’ll get through it.”
“We?”
She smiled coyly. “In some form or another.”
“After we figure a few things out first?” I offered.
“I have to admit, it might take some time to...”
“Sorry to interrupt, Freewill ... err, madam witch.”
Saved by the blob. We turned back toward the maintenance trapdoor to find Glen and his multiple eyeballs had made it onto the rooftop.
“How the hell did you get up the ladder?” I asked.
“Wasn’t easy.” He bubbled a few times. “The others requested your presence.”
“Is it Sally?”
“No. There’s something on the TV they said you might want to see.”
“Oh. Okay. We’ll be there in a second.” I turned back toward Christy after Glen had dripped back down again. “We should probably get going anyway. Looks like the sun will be up any second now.”
“Probably a good idea. So, just out of curiosity, what are you going to do about ... him?”
“Glen? I don’t know. I figured I’d give him Ed’s room for now, or at least his waste basket.”
She grinned up at me. “That’s awfully generous of you.”
“He’s a blob. How much space could he possibly need? Oh, and I think maybe I should let Tom have his old room back, at least until such time as...”
“We figure this out?” She nodded. “That’s probably for the best. And it’s not like Tina and I are far away.”
“Exactly.” I took a step toward the ladder, but then stopped and let out a bark of laughter.
“What’s so funny?�
�
“I was just thinking. Back when I first got turned, Tom and Ed had a ball testing my powers, usually ending with me on fire. Anyway, I used to think that my roommate situation couldn’t get any weirder. Guess I was wrong.”
♦ ♦ ♦
We returned to my apartment to find Kelly, Vincent, and Tom all seated on the couch watching TV. Dave, meanwhile, was in the kitchen nook helping himself to my Keurig machine.
Coffee was sounding pretty good right about then. Christy said as much and went to grab us a couple cups.
I plopped down next to my once again roommate to see what everyone was paying such rapt attention to.
Tom turned to me as I sat. “Bill...”
“Relax. We were just talking.”
“Good, then I won’t have to kick your ass.”
“Nice to know.”
“Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to tell you.” He lowered his voice. “Taking a piss with this equipment...”
“I really don’t want to know.”
“It’s like a whole new adventure.”
“Come on, guys,” Kelly admonished. “Pay attention.”
“Oh, right,” Tom said, shaking some of Sheila’s hair out of his face. God this was weird. “You gotta see this shit.”
Kelly clicked the remote. “Hold on, I’ll turn it up.”
I forced my attention away from the strange mashup of my best friend and former lover sitting next to me. There was a news report playing on the TV. A reporter was standing in front of a brick building. Behind her could be seen cops, police tape and, far back and out of focus, there appeared to be a pair of broken doors.
“...I’m here at the Paradise Valley retirement complex, the scene of what residents are calling a miracle turned massacre. Witnesses are claiming the impossible – that several of the elderly residents died overnight only to rise again in the early hours of the morning and turn upon their friends and neighbors, ripping them to pieces...”
“Hold on,” Dave said from the kitchen. “Did they say Paradise...?”
“Not now,” I hissed.
“One of the survivors managed to capture the following on his phone. I must warn you, what you are about to see could be disturbing to some viewers.”
A video began to play, presumably taken from inside the facility. Lights were blinking on and off and screams could be heard in the distance. A muffled voice, probably whoever took the video, said, “Oh *bleep*. There’s one of them.”
It felt like a cheesy promo vid for a Halloween haunted house, at least until I saw what he was talking about. An old woman leapt into view, dropping down from the ceiling. She turned toward the camera, her head raised as if sniffing the air. The video cut out mere moments later, but not before catching a clear view of soulless black eyes staring out over a set of fangs.
No fucking way.
“In the past few hours, similar incidents have been reported throughout the city, all of them claiming the same thing. Already, some on social media are laying blame on the bizarre occurrences of the past week, claiming that the Strange Days are here again.”
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” Dave cried.
“What is it?” I asked, turning toward him.
He looked up from his phone. “Paradise Valley.”
“What about it?”
“I knew that name sounded familiar. It’s one of our big accounts. They placed a bulk order just the other week. I swear, those assholes had better not be trying to weasel their way out of paying. Not my fault that they...”
“Bulk order?”
“Yeah, the old geezers love Immortalis. Anything to make them feel less decrepit.”
The rest of Dave’s rant was lost to me as I considered this. “Wait a second. Weren’t you complaining earlier about cancellations?”
“Yeah,” he groused. “What a fucking pain in the ass.”
“Because people were dying?”
“If you believe that bullshit.”
“Like in that piece we just watched?” An unpleasant thought began to form in my head.
“Yeah, I guess.”
Christy joined us, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee, but I barely noticed her. “Did I hear that right?” she asked.
“Vampires.” I stood up, the allure of caffeine all but forgotten. “The original kind, like me.”
“But how?”
I barely heard her, though, a recent memory playing in my mind as if I’d DVR’d it. What sets Immortalis apart from other so-called age defying creams are special patent-pending proteins.
I strolled over to where my former dungeon master stood, looking more put out over the hit to his wallet than the human misery we’d just witnessed on the TV. “Dave, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, what do you need?”
“What is that hand cream of yours made of?”
“Nothing special. Coconut oil, beeswax, generic shit like that. We buy it in bulk from some sweatshop in Central America. Those fuckers make it for pennies on the...”
“Not that stuff. I meant those proteins you talked about.”
“Oh, that? We inject a couple milligrams per batch so we can differentiate ourselves from the other crap on the market...”
“Fascinating I’m sure.” I held up a hand. “How exactly did you develop those proteins?”
“Develop?”
“Yeah. That’s what you said on your infomercial.”
“That’s just for marketing purposes. We have to establish me as a subject matter expert...”
I slammed my hand on the counter, cutting him off and drawing everyone’s attention. “Where did you get them from, Dave?”
He held up his hands. “Fine, you got me. I had some of my old samples in frozen storage from back in the day.”
“Your samples?”
“Well, technically yours. But you have to understand, everyone in the product department thought it would make a killer selling point.”
“Are you telling me that stuff contains my blood?”
“No.”
“Oh, thank goodness.”
“All of your blood samples were contaminated. These were from your venom. My lab managed to synthesize it ... after a little trial and error.”
Son of a bitch.
Vampire venom, the very thing that once created new vamps – acting as a lure to hungry spirits from outside our world. Hungry spirits like the one I called Dr. Death.
“So, let me get this straight.” I grabbed hold of Dave’s shirt and lifted him off the ground. “You made this crap – the same shit I practically took a bath in yesterday – out of vampire venom? Is that what you’re telling me?!”
“Y-yeah, but it was all inert.”
“Until these pulses started,” I snapped.
Stunned silence met the room for several seconds.
“If you need to kick his ass,” Tom said, “I’m pretty sure we can all turn a blind eye.”
Vincent opened his mouth, no doubt to protest, but I dropped Dave before that advice began to sound a little too tempting.
Christy stepped to my side, glaring at my former DM. I got the impression she was firmly in the blind eye camp. “Am I hearing this right? Are you saying that everyone who bought that stuff...”
“Has either turned or is in the process of turning into a vampire,” I finished.
“Not only that,” Kelly said, “but they’re waking up hungry.”
I nodded. “And with no covens left to rein them in.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Dave said. “If that’s the case, then how come nobody else here is ... vamping out?”
“Sally didn’t open hers. No offense, man, but she really doesn’t like you.”
“I threw mine away,” Christy replied. Can’t say that was a surprise either.
“Same here,” Kelly added.
Jesus Christ! Was I the only one? No. That still left Dave and he at least seemed human, physically if not emotionally.
I said as much,
but he smiled sheepishly in return. “First rule of being a doctor: never become your own customer.”
“That’s drug dealers.”
“Same shit really,” he replied. “Besides, I have naturally moist skin.”
Son of a... It was all I could do to not put him through a wall. What Calibra had once done through playing with forces beyond her control, this stupid fuck had managed to recreate with nothing more than the dumb luck of having a working freezer.
“Everyone calm down,” Vincent said. “The sun’s up now. That should help.”
“It might,” Christy replied. “But it won’t matter for those who’ve been bitten since then.”
“I understand that. What I meant is we need to stop it from spreading.”
I was tempted to laugh at him. Just like a former Templar. Bet he couldn’t wait to dust off his old cape. Pity he was talking about a job that was easier said than done.
“It’s too late,” I replied. “If it were just one Patient Zero, maybe, but...” I turned to Dave. “How much of that crap did you sell?”
He backed up into the kitchen. “Um, it was a surprisingly effective marketing campaign, and that’s not even counting our mall kiosks.”
“We are so fucked.”
“Maybe not,” Christy said after a pause. “Maybe it’s not as hopeless as you think.”
“How so?”
She flashed me a smile. “Think about it. We have someone on our side with the experience and skills to deal with this.”
Kelly hooked a thumb at Tom. “Her?”
Christy shrugged. “If it comes to that, maybe. But these people are victims, and we have the means to contain them.” She turned toward me again. “If these vampires are like you, then that means compulsion will work on them. And will you look at that, we are in the presence of someone who knows all about that – the legendary Freewill.”
“Yeah, right. Legendary,” I scoffed.
“Don’t sell yourself short,” she replied. “You’re the only one who can do this.”
“The only one left, you mean.”
Kelly stood up. “She’s got a point...”
“But...”
“And we’re all here to help you. Isn’t that right?”
Strange Days (Bill of the Dead Book 1) Page 33