Eric and John glanced at each other, then Eric quickly mumbled, “I think we should still find her, just not wipe her brain.”
“She… she might be helpful to our investigation, you’re not wrong about that,” John admitted.
Drisbane sounded rather irate as he asked, “What makes you say that?” Benjamin couldn’t imagine why the boy seemed bent out of shape.
John only shrugged, and glanced at Eric again. Eric mumbled something Benjamin couldn’t hear. Apparently, neither could Drisbane, who snapped with great vitriol, “What the hell did you say?”
“Drisbane!” Benjamin exclaimed. “What in God’s name has come over you, boy?”
The boy turned his icy stare toward him. “What’s come over ME? You’ve suddenly decided that everything we’ve been doing is wrong. You’re thanking these guys and asking their advice because they basically staged a rebellion. And you want to know what’s come over ME?”
“Ensign …”
“That’s right, sir, I AM an Ensign. I’m an officer in this organization and I have followed every order you’ve given me, and I have ALWAYS performed to the best of my abilities, no matter what thankless task you’ve given me. And have you ever thanked me? No. But you thank these two for flat out disobedience.”
“You just have your panties in a bunch because I said you don’t have any original thoughts,” John observed.
If looks really could kill, John would have died in that moment.
“Gentlemen, please,” Benjamin began. His tears were subsiding, and the calm of catharsis was all he felt in that moment. “This is completely unnecessary. Drisbane, I’m sorry if you feel invalidated. You are a good operative. I rely on you heavily. But what these boys did for me…” he trailed off for a moment and rubbed his eyes. “For so long, I’ve just been reacting to circumstances. Burying my feelings and reacting. It’s a sad state of affairs. You know why I admired Carver so much? Well, many reasons, but one was that he always took charge of his own destiny. He was a natural born leader. No one even believed in magic, but he isolated the energy and developed tools to make it accessible to us. He… nothing could stop him. He was amazing.” He paused and rubbed his eyes again, then looked intently at Drisbane. “You and I, boy… we haven’t been so amazing. We’ve been reactive, passive. Rather than taking charge of our lives, our mission, we’ve been reacting to whatever gets thrown our way. It’s sad. I’m ashamed of myself, and I want better for you. I realize that now. I realize it because John and Eric took charge of the situation and showed me how terribly I was behaving. They had the courage to stand up to me and remind me of what’s important.
“I… I’ve been so blind. I’ve been burying my feelings and rationalizing my behaviors, just so I could spare myself the pain of admitting the truth: I miss David so much, it is almost physically painful. He was my hero. I wanted so much to be like him. I don’t… I don’t want to be what I’ve been. The years of frustration over my inability to find him have made me feel like a… a… well, a loser. I’ve felt weak and inferior, and I’ve tried to hide it. It all boiled over. I tried to rationalize it, but I was taking out all of my frustration on Miss Flanagan because I resented her for being able to meet him, for having some unique gifts by accident.” He sighed, a long, deep, cleansing breath. “Don’t be like me, Drisbane. Don’t be petty and resentful. Choose your own path and do what you know to be right. Like these boys. Like Carver once did. Let us both strive to be better than we’ve been.”
Steven looked back at him with hurt in his eyes. “All I’ve ever done is follow your orders.”
Benjamin heaved another sigh. “I know, boy. I know. And now I’m ordering you – all three of you – to help me figure out what to do next. I don’t know if I trust myself to make the right choices at this point. I need help.”
There was a long, awkward pause as all of the men thought about what to say next. Then, without preamble, Eric blurted, “I saw Carver’s energy signature in Miss Flanagan’s molecular scan yesterday.”
John glanced at him, then looked back to Steven and the General, apparently unsurprised. Steven’s eyebrows knitted together. Benjamin himself could only ask, “What? How?”
Eric tapped away at his keyboard, and pulled up the image in question. It looked like a bunch of glowing, purple dots in the shape of a person, but Benjamin recognized it as Miss Flanagan’s molecular scan. As he watched, a lavender flicker of light crossed over the darker purple dots, and Eric said, “There, see?”
“Show me again, please.”
The tech complied. They watched it three more times.
“I’m not sure I understand what this actually means,” Benjamin finally said. “It’s not something I’ve ever seen. I didn’t think it was possible. Is he actually…. Is he somehow inside of Miss Flanagan?”
“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since I observed the phenomenon,” Eric said, his mind engaged with the problem at hand enough to make him forget his social anxiety. “We’ve been taught that Carver could walk through space and time, and visit different worlds and dimensions, even before he invented the Broom. Is that true?”
“Well, yes. Before he incorporated technology, he had to do it the old fashioned way, with spells and rituals and such. The Broom made it so much easier.” Benjamin’s eyes twinkled as he remembered the joy they had felt after inventing the device.
“If he became lost, and cut off from reality, as we’ve learned,” Eric continued, “he may have begun to drift between worlds without control. Evidence would point to this. We’ve learned that he would disappear frequently, before his desertion, leaving the room and showing up on the other end of the planet with no knowledge of how he got there.”
“True,” Benjamin mused sadly. “Very true.”
“Well, if he had no control over it, who’s to say he didn’t start going to places that were not necessarily actual places, but worlds of perception?” Eric concluded, then realized everyone was looking at him, and developed a sudden fascination with his keyboard.
“I’m not sure… I’m not sure I’m following.”
“Yeah, it’s some trippy shit,” John interjected. “He tried to explain it to me and I thought he was having an LSD flashback, but it turns out the kid’s never tried any drugs. I think he basically means that every living thing has the capacity to be their own world, as each of us filter everything through our own memories and senses and stuff. So like, the waitress could be a world that Carver might have gotten lost in, or at least visited.”
“That’s just not possible,” Drisbane interjected. “You’re combining psychological theories with proven organization methods, and we never covered anything like that in training.”
John shrugged in response. “It’s weird, I’ll give you that. But nothing we’ve done has worked, so maybe we have to consider new ideas.”
Benjamin seemed to be staring at nothing, wide eyed and silent, as he considered the possibilities. “If people… if Miss Flanagan, specifically… was seen in that light, as a world….” He trailed off as he tried to frame his thoughts into words. “How… how do we find Dave….Carver…. in her?”
John chortled in response, murmuring, “In her.” Once he had pulled himself together, he said, “When I used to play shows with my band, we had good shows and bad shows, like anyone does. When it was bad, it was horrible. It was like the audience was against us. It was the worst feeling in the world, like we were just totally at odds with everything, and nothing was working for us.”
“Is there actually going to be a point here?” Drisbane interjected.
“Yes, actually, there is, oh ye of little patience,” John answered in a tone that reminded Benjamin of his third grade teacher when her class had been interrupted. “When a show went well, everything just felt so perfect. The audience vibed with us, we vibed with each other, everyone was into it.” He paused for a moment. “When we had the waitress here, it wasn’t by her choice. We kind of inflicted it on her. She was kind of, if I
can refer to my own experience, playing a bad show.”
Eric nodded as if this made perfect sense, but both Steven and Benjamin only looked confused. Benjamin finally ventured, “If I’m following you, she needs to play a ‘good show’? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Well, yeah. Like, instead of trying to force her to let us in to her ‘world,’ I guess, we need to see if she could just, like, share it. Because if we try to force it, we just get more separate, but if we’re all in it together, then we’re in it together.” John paused for a few beats before saying, “I’ve studied a lot of science, but the music analogy made more sense to me in this instance.”
“I think…. I mean, I think I understand what you’re saying,” Benjamin stammered. “But I don’t really know how to proceed. If I may extend your analogy, what factors were present in a good show versus a bad show?”
“Well,” John screwed his face in thought. “I guess part of it was us. The band. Our attitudes going into it, if we were fighting among ourselves – which happened kind of a lot. But it also had to do with external forces like the venue and the audience. There were some people who came to a lot of our shows, and whenever I saw them in the audience, I felt like it would be a good show. This one girl would come a lot, and I’d always play better when she was there, ‘cause I kind of had a thing for her, I guess. And there was this dude, this tall dude with dreads, who would always somehow show up for the good shows. Whenever I saw him out there, I knew it would be a great night.”
“All of which provides exactly zero help to us at the moment,” Drisbane muttered under his breath.
“I guess what I’m saying is, our attitudes toward her might have an effect. We should treat her less like a test subject and more like a person,” John explained. “And maybe, I dunno, do we have anything she might want? Maybe she’d be more willing to help us, to let us explore her world, so to speak, if she got something out of it.”
Benjamin pondered this for several long seconds before saying, “I think we may have something to offer her, actually. And she may have something to offer us. She does have some unique abilities, after all, that may actually serve us well.”
Steven let out a gasp of air and said, “Seriously? Sure, why not.” His tone implied that he was not altogether pleased, but Benjamin had made up his mind.
“We have a plan, then. Eric, John…. Do you think you’d feel better about returning our devices, now?”
Eric tapped the button on the device, and the devices returned to the room.
“Where were they, anyway?” Drisbane asked.
John snickered in response. “They never left. They were just shielded.”
Drisbane rolled his eyes.
“Well, then, gentlemen,” Benjamin said jovially. “It looks like I’m heading to Woodford to present a lady with a job offer.”
Deanna
She opened her eyes and realized she was still sitting on the bench in Woodford. She had no idea whether her meeting with David Carver had actually occurred, or whether it was just a very vivid daydream.
Even if it was real, she wasn’t sure if the encounter had done any good. She still had no concrete evidence to present to the men of the organization that she had seen Carver. She had no new information to bargain with. She still wasn’t sure where he physically was. Strictly speaking, it didn’t really matter whether she had really met with Carver or not.
That left her with few options. She fingered the Broom in her pocket, hoping it would be enough to bargain with. Perhaps the idea of chasing her around the world until the Broom ran out of juice would be daunting enough to cause Larsen to negotiate, at least.
She figured she may as well stay where she was, and wait. Steven and General Larsen were probably already on her trail, and she thought it best to stay out on Main Street, in public. If everything went wrong and they took her away, even if no one else could see them, maybe they would see her vanish. Maybe someone would ask questions. So, she sat on the bench and waited.
As Deanna waited, she thought about what the robed man had said about her being responsible for everything that happened to her. If that was the case, she had better figure out exactly what she wanted rather than letting her uncertainties control her destiny. Obviously, she wanted to deal with Larsen and regain her freedom and safety.
But then what?
Her life had definitely not been going as planned for quite some time now. Actually, when she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t had a plan at all; life had just sort of happened to her without any real input from her. She had simply reacted to circumstances. If everything the robed man had said was true – and she truly believed it was – then it was time for her to step up and take charge of her situation.
For one thing, she really had no idea what kind of job she actually wanted. She had only thought as far as finding a job that was tolerable and allowed her to make enough money to pay her bills. She had been so full of self-doubt that she hadn’t believed she deserved even that much. Now, however, if she was truly going to be the queen of her world, she needed to figure out what she actually WANTED to do. She knew she wanted to learn; it really didn’t matter what the topic was, she simply wanted to learn more about the world and how it worked. She also wanted to help people, somehow, rather than simply mindlessly serving them. She wanted to make a difference in people’s lives.
Deanna was deep in thought when Larsen appeared on the bench next to her, causing her to scream slightly and jump to her feet in surprise. As she tried to regain her composure, she grabbed the Broom out of her pocket and brandished it like a weapon. Backing away a few steps, she said, “If you put one hand on me I will push this button and disappear. You can chase me all over the globe if you want, but I don’t think either of us want to spend the next few months or even years playing hide-and-seek.”
Larsen nodded, smiled, and said, “Quite right. So let’s talk.”
“I don’t know what it is you want from me, but I am not going anywhere with you. I’m quite happy with my brain being just the way it is,” she stated firmly.
“I am pleased to hear it, and may I start by saying how sorry I am for my behavior.”
Deanna blinked in confusion. She had not been expecting an apology.
“My team has made me realize that I’ve gone a little off the deep end, as of late,” the General continued. “I have been searching for David Carver for about eighteen years now, you see. The idea that you got to see him by sheer accident… well, it drove me a little mad, I’m sorry to say. I realize that now.”
“Who is he to you, anyway? Why are you so desperate to find the poor man?”
“I haven’t been very forthcoming with information, I suppose,” Larsen said, shaking his head slowly. “Again, I apologize. Perhaps you would be more willing to help us if you knew why we were looking for him. David Carver was the founder of our organization.”
Deanna’s posture relaxed slightly, though she still held the Broom in front of her. “Really? I would not have guessed that.”
“Oh, yes. He was a brilliant man. His work is the only reason our organization exists. But he got… sick, I guess you could say. He lost his mind, really,” Larsen continued. “Eventually, we lost him entirely.”
She nodded to show she understood, but stayed quiet.
“For years, I’ve been searching for him. I rationalized to myself and the others that we had to bring him in by any means necessary, because he could be a threat.” Larsen sighed. “The truth of it is, I miss him. He was my friend, and more than that. He was my hero. I just… I just want him back, and safe. When we found you, and I learned you may have met him, I went a little crazy. I couldn’t understand why you got to see him and I can’t. I… I think I took my frustration out on you.”
“You love him,” Deanna murmured thoughtfully.
“I’m not really the kind of man who runs around announcing personal feelings.”
“What is it that you want from me, General? It’s not
as if I have Carver hidden somewhere.”
“Not as far as you know, anyway,” he said softly. “It’s an amazing thing, but traces of his energy signature appeared in your molecular scan yesterday. I realize that means nothing to you, but there’s a possibility he is actually – well, that he’s actually inside of you, somehow.”
She nodded slowly, not knowing what to say.
“You do not seem entirely surprised,” Larsen observed.
“I’ve had an interesting day,” she said, her lips twisting into a wry smile. “There’s not a lot that would surprise me right now.”
“Indeed? Would you care to tell me about it?”
“No.”
“Fair enough. May I at least ask, was David involved?”
“Maybe,” she said hesitantly. “I’m not being deliberately vague, I’m really just not sure.” She took a deep breath to gather her courage, then asked, “Would it be fair to say that he cut himself off from the people in his life, at some point?”
Larsen sat up straighter, his surprise apparent on his face. “Indeed it would. He became more and more isolated, at the end. How do you know that?”
“I… met someone who told me some things,” she said vaguely. “That was one of the things he told me. He also told me that you’re not necessarily a ‘bad guy,’ even though you kind of fit into my world as a ‘bad guy.’”
He studied her face with apparent fascination. “My, my, you have had an interesting day. I would like to hear more about this meeting, but I understand you may be unwilling to share at this time. So, I will get to the point of my visit. I would like to offer you a job.”
Her mouth fell open slightly. “What?”
“I would like to offer you a job. Our training program takes two years, but you will be given a salary even during that time. I don’t really know what to make of your gifts and how they came to be, but I’d like to make use of them. With proper training, I’m quite certain you can become a useful operative in some capacity.”
A surprised giggle escaped her lips. “I’m not… I’m not going back to that place with you,” she said. “I’m not going to be your prisoner again.”
March Forth (The Woodford Chronicles Book 1) Page 14