“Well, I’ve had my fill of lies, and they definitely grow sour on the tongue,” I told her.
“What if a lie keeps you safe? From others or from…yourself? Would you tell a child that their father was a serial killer, knowing the likelihood that it would forever taint their view of the world, making them feel inherently evil? Would you tell your child that Santa Claus is real for as many years as you could get away with it, or would you steal their joy and excitement with a truth? In a fatal accident, would you lean over to your child and promise them everything was going to be okay, or would you steal their hope in those last moments?”
I sighed in understanding. “I’m not saying lies are always bad. I’m saying that at a certain point, the truth becomes necessary. Lies are like Band-Aids. They help in the moment but must eventually be removed for a wound to fully heal. Replacing them with new Band-Aids—lies—only works in the short-term.”
She sighed. “I hold little love for lies, Wylde. They have caused me great harm in the past as well.” She sniffed, looking mildly angry. “Alice’s father lied, too. Told us he would never leave…yet here we are…” she let out a weak sob as Alice giggled uproariously in the background. She finally met my eyes. “I am sorry to throw that at you. It was unfair. I see your mind is set, and I empathize with your position. Truly. I just needed to be certain.”
She let out a sigh—both of anticipation and trepidation. Like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, but one that she was so used to carrying that she feared not carrying it any longer. She slowly walked back towards the sound of her daughter’s giggling squeals.
“It is time to finally return home,” she said almost under her breath, smiling over at Alice, who now seemed to be chasing Talon’s tail as he hopped from couch to couch, egging her on. Alvara suddenly gripped my wrist tightly. “You will keep her safe over there, won’t you? I need you to swear it. As much as we wish to return to Fae, we are not welcome back after our banishment. If they discover us, it would be the end. Promise you will do everything in your power to keep us safe.”
I wanted to learn some more details on her banishment, since it seemed to involve Carl’s parents, but her fingers dug into my wrist until I felt my bones creaking. “Yes. I’ll do everything in my power to keep her safe.”
She let out an anxious breath, and finally released my wrist. I shook it absently, surprised by her strength. “Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to braid my daughter’s hair before bed. Big day and all that,” she said, sniffling and dabbing at her eyes to conceal her tears.
Then she strolled into the room, speaking softly to Alice, telling her it was time for bed, and wouldn’t she like a shower so they can braid her hair for their big day tomorrow?
I frowned at her back. Maybe it was a Fae thing. To have been banished for so long and then to realize you would be back home tomorrow… that had to be tough to wrap your head around.
I spotted Alex and Dean waiting for me down the hall, so I made my way over. Talon slipped out of the room behind me, following me on silent feet. Since the bar we were going to would have Regulars, he couldn’t go with us. Thankfully, he’d said it would probably be best if he slept anyway so that one of us was clear-headed in the morning for our trip.
Even with that, he wasn’t happy about leaving me unprotected and had made sure we each carried a pair of Tiny Balls—portable Gateways—on us in case we needed a quick escape, or got separated. Or in the event that I was unconscious from a flashback and would be unable to create my own escape, I was pretty certain.
“I need to talk to you in private before we leave,” Alex told me, and then he took a few steps back to wait, even though that was entirely unnecessary.
I turned to Dean. “Can you find some chocolates and bring them to Alvara’s room?”
Dean’s mouth clicked shut and he blinked at me a few times. “Of course, Master Temple…” but I could sense the obvious question on his face.
“I think Alvara is anxious about tomorrow and wants a little mother-daughter time. She told me they’re braiding hair, and that sounded suspiciously like code for bring us chocolate or those with genetic outies are doomed.”
Alex, despite giving us space, seemed to be mentally repeating the secret code for future use.
I wondered if he had any idea what I’d meant by genetic outies, hoped he didn’t, and then prayed that he would try using the phrase with a woman where I could hear the reaction.
Dean nodded. “Your father often brought your mother chocolates when she seemed upset. I think I have just the thing.” He paused to study me for a moment. “Might I say, it is very considerate of you to go out of your way for what most would consider a trivial matter. You could have just feigned ignorance, but you instead suggested a way to make them happier.”
“It’s not like I’m making the chocolate myself, Dean. I’m asking you to pilfer the pantry.” Dean continued studying me in silence until I let out a breath. “Maybe I’m trying to get back on the Ravens’ nice list,” I said, smiling guiltily.
“Ah. That’s more like you. Do try to stay out of trouble tonight. I have a bad feeling for some reason.” And he truly did look troubled. Probably just envisioning the volatile Gunnar at a bar.
“Maybe you should have some chocolate, too.” He narrowed his eyes at me, so I let out a sigh. “It’s probably just knowing what we’re doing tomorrow. Don’t worry. It’s only a few drinks.”
That didn’t seem to appease Dean’s concern in the slightest, but I didn’t let it get to me.
He left, heading back to the kitchens to scrounge up some lady-drugs.
AKA Chocolate.
Alex swept back in and spoke softly in case anyone was close enough to overhear. “Pandora wants to see you. She doesn’t want to talk to you if you’re drunk or hungover so she wants it to be before we leave. Won’t take long at all.”
I frowned at him suspiciously, but finally nodded. Pandora had only recently reopened the Armory, having locked it down while Mordred was in town. And I did have a few questions for her. “Deal.”
Gunnar abruptly rounded the corner in a mad sprint and Talon darted clear, hissing instinctively. “Fly, you fools!” he snapped in a loud whisper. “I just got the green light and don’t want her to change her mind!”
“We were just going to talk to—”
“I don’t care where, just get me out of here!” he urged.
And he was suddenly shoving me after Alex, who was sprinting down the hall to avoid Gunnar’s Heisman Trophy interpretation for Most Valuable Baseball Player.
“Heisman is baseball, right?” I asked.
Gunnar groaned, shoving me harder. “Just stop talking about sports. Forever.”
I’d Google it later, but I was pretty sure I was close.
Chapter 11
Pandora welcomed us to the Armory clad in fresh-off-the-bush mistletoe lingerie.
Or fresh-off-the-branch. Wherever mistletoe came from.
I’m not really sure how to describe her outfit, other than to say it got my attention up, and the placement of red berries had been given very careful consideration.
“Oh, I thought it was only you, Alex,” she grinned. Then, accepting that she now had an audience, she gave us a little show. “How do I look?” she asked, twirling.
Gunnar froze midstride, one leg raised in the air so that he resembled a hunting dog going on point to indicate prey.
“Bird dog it!” I crowed at him, drinking down the fury from his glare, and using it to nourish and water the darkest parts of my soul so that it could grow even darker.
Alex grinned from ear-to-ear. “It’s a long time until Yulemas, My Lady.”
I frowned. My lady? They were well past that stage in their relationship. They were deep into the fuzzy handcuffs, Enya, and maple syrup stage.
“Can you put something else on, Pandora?” I asked. “I forgot my squirt bottle, and Gunnar is having a rough day,” I said, pointing a thumb at him. He s
cowled back.
“Is that why he has candies in his beard?” she asked, cocking her head. Gunnar began raking his fingers through his beard, glaring at me.
In response to my request, Pandora snapped her fingers and the mistletoe was abruptly gone, leaving her entirely naked. Then she bent over at the hips to search inside a chest behind her, tossing out all sorts of strange garments, masks, sashes, and belts. “Let me just find something else.”
I groaned, and Alex grinned. Gunnar slapped both hands over his face—even though he only had one eye to worry about. Old habits die hard, I guess.
“If that isn’t a waste of resources, I don’t know what is,” I told him, laughing.
I turned back to Pandora to find her fully clothed in a pleasantly sheer toga. The show wasn’t entirely over, but one would have to stare harder to get a good look.
I found her studying me, so I let out a sigh since she could read my thoughts. “Explain how you showed me Excalibur, but when I came back it was missing.”
Because there had been a time or two when unwanted visitors had entered the Armory, and I was desperately hoping they hadn’t nabbed Mordred’s family sword for themselves.
“I’ve been waiting for you to remember that. I wonder why you forgot?” she asked with an amused smile.
I blinked at her a few times to show her my brain was cranking on and to give me a minute—like those spinning wheels on Apple computers, but at the blazing speed of 1995. I honestly had no idea if she was goading me or teasing me. “Is there a reason I forgot?” I finally asked.
“There often is, and your mind looks very dark and filled with holes at the moment.” She studied me clinically for a second or two. “You have time to fix it. Not much, but enough. If you listen to the Wanderer.”
“Who is the Wanderer?”
“You’ll know soon enough. But the forgetting isn’t important yet. It’s the remembering that matters, is it not? That’s what your whole plan is based on. To go wander Fae and remember all manner of childish things.”
I turned to see if my friends had anything to offer, only to realize that they had wandered over to the balcony and were speaking in soft tones.
I turned back to Pandora. “I really just need you to help me, Pandora. I’m drowning here,” I whispered—the first time I had admitted it to anyone. I hadn’t been able to contact Callie and I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone else about it. Not because of any trust thing, but because I’d found that in my position as leader of this strange group of Freaks, I often couldn’t afford to be too honest—even if I trusted them all with my life. Because at some point down the road, one of them would need to lean on me, and knowing that I had been on the brink of a meltdown only weeks before, and that I had relied upon them for advice or solace…
Then they might choose to not lean on me when they needed help, not wanting to burden me with their problems, and putting themselves at risk for no reason. In a way, I was martyring myself so that I could always be available to help shoulder their pain, and that wasn’t a problem for me. It wasn’t a hard request to fulfill most times, because my friends only asked for aid when they truly needed it, and I typically wanted to assist them.
I understood the contradiction—that I was doing the exact thing I didn’t want them to do, but…wasn’t that the freaking point of a leader? To take the first punch so they didn’t have to?
To be the guy at the top…I was learning it was a lot lonelier than portrayed in the stories.
“Calvin Temple taught you that…” Pandora said gently.
I froze, realizing she was right. “Yeah. I guess he did. My dad had some good points every now and then.” And I also realized that maybe he had passed that personality trait on to me. I let the topic go. “Pandora, please, just speak plainly.”
“As best as I am able, Wylde, but my desires aren’t really a factor. Some things I simply cannot speak of yet,” she said sadly. I nodded in understanding, knowing there were strange rules to this place, and her existence within was bound by them. “When I showed you Excalibur, I showed you only a fragment of it. A placeholder. There are a few items like that in the Armory. Items too powerful to be contained in their entirety.”
I frowned in rapidly growing alarm. “Isn’t that the entire point of this place? To hold dangerous items? How can something be too powerful for the Armory?”
“Maybe powerful isn’t quite the right word. Impacting, perhaps. Items that were destined to not be locked up. Items that absolutely had to end up back out in the real world at some point in time.”
My eyebrows might have crawled off my scalp. “That would imply fate being fact.”
She smiled. “Is it fate to say it will rain next year?”
I scowled at her. “That’s cheating.”
“Isn’t magic cheating?”
I scowled harder. “You’re saying that some things are entirely too powerful to be left locked away, and that Excalibur is one of those items?”
“I’m saying that some items haven’t yet fulfilled their original purpose, so cannot remain locked up until they have done so. And…Merlin was one of the last to regularly manipulate time.”
A cold shiver went down my spine, but I couldn’t quite think of what to ask next. None of this was important to me right now. Later, definitely, but right now I just needed to know it was safe from Mordred’s hands.
“You saw a piece of it here. It’s astral form.” She saw the alarm on my face and waved a hand dismissively. “These things happen from time to time. But it’s nothing to be alarmed about. Without all the pieces in the same place at the same time, it cannot function at its full potential. Missing pieces are important, as you well know.”
She stared directly at me, and I flinched. “Yeah. I’m learning that.” Because a huge chunk of my life was missing from my memory, and I was about to go try and find it. “Where is the piece I saw, then? Where did it go?”
“It’s still here,” she said, shrugging. “I locked it away where none may find it, not even you. Not until you put yourself back together again, Humpty Dumpty.”
“Swear it, Pandora. I have to know it’s safe, and that Mordred cannot get to it.”
“You know that is an impossible promise, Wylde. I can say that right now it is perfectly safe, but tomorrow? The next day?” she shrugged. “I cannot say. But Mordred is no closer to finding it than he ever was. In fact, it’s as safe as your Round Table. Does that make you feel better?”
“It’s better than I expected. If I keep the Table safe, I’ll keep the sword safe?” I asked. “And just to clarify, the sword isn’t wedged inside the leg of the table or anything, right?”
She smiled. “The sword is not a part of the table and is not hidden within the table. It is here, as I’ve told you.”
“And the other pieces? Where are they?”
“On their way here, I imagine. I can feel their echoes. Now, do you like bears?”
“What?”
“I know you like dragons, but how do you feel about bears?”
“What are you talking about, Pandora?”
“Find the bear and you will find the last piece of Excalibur. Or you can just wait a bit longer. It should show up eventually. They always do.” She cocked her head at me, listening to the storm of questions flooding my mind. Then she sighed with mild annoyance. “Mordred is no closer to obtaining Excalibur than he was when he was released from Hell. In fact, he’s further away, because it is here, in the Armory. Excalibur finds the person; the person does not find Excalibur. You could run up to him and tell him it is here. Even invite him inside to search for himself, and he would not find it. Four more pieces must be reunited, or it will not be complete. A powerful sword, yes, but not it’s true potential. The Name, the Power, the Soul, the Blood, and the Blade must be forged back together. Reunited.”
“The blood…” I said absently. “Do you mean the ichor in the Round Table?”
She. Just. Smiled. And I felt like I had won Jeopardy on
live television.
But I had to consider it from all angles. I stared at her, trying desperately to understand the meaning beneath her answers. Then it hit me. Why she was being cagey. She was following rules. Commands. And two people in particular had given her commands before I came along. “I’m going to take a quick trip. I need to kill two people. It won’t take me long.”
She gripped my arm. “Killing your parents will not change anything, won’t accomplish anything since they are already dead, and will still not give you what you seek. But you have guessed correctly. They forbade me to speak of it. And they lived by that same oath for a very particular reason, even if you cannot recall it at the moment. Your mind is too fragmented to see what is right in front of you. Excalibur is just one cog in the machine. The Catalyst is both the fuel and the machine itself. You’re asking all the wrong questions!”
I ground my teeth, struggling to keep my composure. “I’m the new Master. Tell me.”
Pandora sighed sadly. “Alas, I cannot. And I wouldn’t even if I could because, as painful as it is, I’ve come to believe that they were right. But your parents did put one of my gifts to good use,” she said, eyeing me up and down.
I blinked at her a few times. I glanced over my shoulder, wondering if she was indicating an item. Nothing caught my attention, so I turned back to her. She was suddenly two inches from my nose and she nipped me playfully with her teeth.
“I hope you don’t waste it. Now, you need to leave, and I need you to sign some paperwork.” She plucked a stapled stack of papers full of legalese off of a table.
I frowned down at it, scanning the pertinent information. “This is a lease agreement. What am I leasing?”
Pandora waved one hand in the general direction of the Armory as she flipped the pages of the agreement with the other. “Here. Sign right here.”
“Wait, we’re leasing the space for the Armory?” I asked incredulously. “From the fuck who?” I snapped, leaning down to read the document. “Who the hell is Last Breath?” I demanded.
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