“I love this song,” I say, starting to move my hips to the music.
“You would,” Irish grumbles from beside me.
Tracker walks up to me and grabs my hand, pulling me to the dance floor. When I resist, he simply grins. “Come on, if I have to dance to this bullshit, then so do you.”
“I like this song,” I tell him, letting him pull me along behind him. He stops next to Lana, putting me in between them, then starts to dance. Looking into Lana’s amused gaze, I dance, a little awkwardly at first, until I get into it. By the time the next song starts, Lana and I are practically grinding on each other and I can feel Tracker’s warmth behind me. Still, he doesn’t touch my body or cross any lines. When Irish comes and pulls me by my hand, I go with him, dancing with him without our bodies touching. He spins me around, and even though he’s not as good of a dancer as Tracker, he’s not bad either.
“Ardan,” he says into my ear, making me jump a little.
I glance up at him. “What?”
“My name”—he smirks—“is Ardan.”
I smile widely. “Nice to meet you, Ardan.”
We dance for another song, until a woman with a seriously nice ass catches his eye, then he leaves me with Tracker again to make a play for her.
“She’s hot,” Anna says, grabbing my waist and dancing behind me. “Should we get a drink?”
I nod, desperately wanting some water. We walk back up to the bar and order some water. When I hear Anna mutter “Oh fuck” under her breath, I turn around, bottle of water in my hand, and look in front of us.
Adam.
Why is he here? Tracker told him . . .
When I see the woman with him, my body instantly goes on shutdown. On protection mode. My emotions disappear. Anything for self-preservation. How much of a dick can he be? I instantly feel bad for being so hard on Irish, when it’s clear Rake is the real asshole here. He knew I was here; he knew. Yes, I wasn’t meant to be here, but he could have made this pleasant by staying away. I guess that isn’t really fair though: he’s allowed to be with any woman he wants; it doesn’t really make him a bad person. I think the fact that it still hurts me is more concerning, and I have a feeling that if the situation was reversed, and I was here with another man, he wouldn’t be reacting by ignoring me.
How does he still have the power to hurt me after all these years? They say time heals everything, but it doesn’t. It dulls the pain, yes, but seeing this right here, rips open all the old wounds. Keeping my expression as blank as I can, I avoid Adam’s eyes, even though I can feel them on me, and turn around to face the bar again.
He isn’t mine.
And I don’t want him to be.
Then why does this hurt so much?
“Do you want to dance some more?” I ask Anna and Lana, who are both studying me a little too closely for my liking.
Don’t show weakness.
I have two rules in my life. First, never let them see you bleed. And two, always have an escape plan.
“Yeah,” Lana replies. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
I shake my head.
Leaving now will give him power, will let him know that he still has a hold on me. I don’t want that. I should hate this man with everything I have, but I don’t, which kind of makes me hate myself.
I’ll never forgive him for the past, so it’s best to let things be. What I feel for Adam, what I’ll always feel for him is irrelevant. It’s warped. It’s wrapped in anger, hate, and distrust. Underneath all that, yes, there is love, but love isn’t enough, at least not this time. What could have been a fairy-tale love has now turned into nothing but pain and harsh cold reality.
“No, why would I?” I say, my poker face being tested now more than ever before. “I love this song!”
I wrap an arm around each of them and head back to the dance floor without looking in his direction.
A few songs later, when the girls return to the bar for another drink, I can’t exactly avoid him anymore. He speaks to them, while I stand on the other side, scanning the bar, looking anywhere except at him. The woman who was with him has disappeared; hopefully she left. Realistically she’s probably in the bathroom or on the dance floor. When a figure appears on my left side, I know it’s him, so I don’t look up.
“You gonna ignore me all night?” he asks, elbows on the bar. “I think I’m being pretty cool, since I told you I didn’t want to see you here again.”
I turn my head and narrow my eyes. “You said I can hang out with the girls, and everyone wanted to come here, and they wanted me to come with them. Maybe you should stop being so petty and just let it go. You didn’t have to show up here tonight.”
“It’s my club,” he fires back. “I’ll show up here whenever the fuck I like.”
“Okay, fine,” I say, shrugging. “You own the club, but you don’t own me, so why don’t you just pretend like you don’t know me, and we can both have a good night. Just like I was doing before you decided to talk to me.”
“I’m not the boy you knew, Bailey. You can’t lead me around by the dick anymore. You have no idea who I am now, and it’s only because of our history that I’m cutting you some slack, but if you’re going to be hanging around my family, perhaps you should learn some fuckin’ respect.”
I make a sound of amusement. “I respect everyone else here.”
“Pretty sure you weren’t always such a bitch.”
“Like you said, we are different than who we used to be. You have no idea who I am now either. And I’m pretty sure you weren’t always such an asshole,” I fire back, then turn to leave, but he grips my upper arm in a firm hold.
“All you better do here tonight is dance and look pretty. You go near a man, I will end him, do you understand me?”
So he can flaunt his women around, but he expects me to stay away from men? Not that I’m on the prowl or anything. I’m legitimately here to dance and have a good time with my friends, but who does he think he is to decide that for me?
“Like I said, you don’t own me. If I want to hook up with a guy, I will. But don’t worry, I’m not as easy as the women you’re used to.”
Green eyes turn murky, and he stares at me like he wants to kill me. “Well, you set the standard, didn’t you? Apparently I just have shit taste in women.”
That line hits like a blow, and I can’t hide the wince that appears on my face.
“I hate you,” I say quietly. He flinches, but I don’t give a shit. “I don’t want to talk about anything to do with us. Ever. And you need to stop bringing it up.”
“The past is all there is between us,” he replies, looking away from me. “Every time I see you, all I see is what was, so how can you ask me to do that?”
“There is nothing there for us in the past!” I yell, turning away from him. “Nothing.”
“There’s nothing for us in the future too,” he adds simply.
I need to leave, to get away from him right now.
Because I am going to lose it.
My nose is tingling, a sure indication that I am going to cry. And I can’t let him see me break.
He makes me weak, and I hate it.
“Why don’t you just leave me alone? Flaunt whoever you want in front of me—I don’t give a shit. All I want is to try to have a good night without all the shit you bring to my life.”
“You probably should have thought about that before you broke my fuckin’ heart,” he snarls. “Fuckin’ hell, Bailey. It still hurts to see you. I can’t fuckin’ see you, don’t you get it? Yet at the same time, I can’t stay away. Knowing you’re here, it brings me here. It’s like I’m a sadist or something, asking for the pain of our fucked-up memories. I can’t help it.”
It hurts me too, and I know it’s my fault for not being honest with him about it. If I’m being honest with myself, half of me wants to protect him from what happened.
Okay, maybe more than half.
The rest of me doesn’t think he deserves to know t
he truth. Why should I bare my soul to him? He didn’t bother to talk to me, to even hear what I had to say after that night. He just cut me out and moved on. How am I supposed to tell him what happened? How is he going to look at me after? If I say it out loud, it becomes real.
I don’t want it to be real.
I pull my arm out of his hold and walk to the bathroom, needing to gather myself. When the girls come after me, I put a smile on my face and pretend everything will be all right.
It has to be.
* * *
When midnight hits, like Cinderella, I figure it’s time to go home, since I have to be up at eight. After Adam disappeared into the VIP room, this time with two women, I didn’t see him again. He made a big show of it, making sure I saw, which made my blood boil. I wanted to go home then and there, but I stuck it out, not wanting him to win, and I tried to enjoy my night with the girls, to forget he was even here, even though all I could do was replay his words over and over in my head and picture what exactly he was doing to the two women in there with him. He’s definitely right about one thing—he’s changed, and I need to realize that so I can let everything in our past go. He’s not Adam, the sweet boy who stole my heart. He’s Rake, the man-whore asshole. As I’m about to call a taxi, Tracker tells me that one of the MC members can take me home.
“I can just take a taxi,” I tell him. “Don’t worry about it, Tracker.”
He shakes his head. “We always have someone here sober just in case. You’re not going home alone in a taxi, Bailey.”
Apparently his word is law, because he turns his back to me and yells out for one of his men. I hear a rumble of motorcycles and turn my head toward the parking lot, where ten bikes pull in. Just how many men did they have in their MC? When Tracker and Arrow stand in front of Anna and Lana, as if protecting them, I have to wonder what the hell is going on. The tension in the air spikes as the men get off their bikes and approach us.
Irish grabs me and puts me behind him.
“Don’t say anything, and do as you’re told,” he commands me quietly. I nod, fear rendering me speechless. It’s clear that this is no macho posturing—something’s going down, something serious. I make myself as invisible as I can, sinking behind Irish and holding my arms around myself. Did stuff like this happen a lot? What am I supposed to do in these situations?
The other men advance until they’re mere feet in front of Irish and the rest, who are now standing shoulder to shoulder in front of me and the other girls.
“Any reason you’re at our club?” Arrow asks, in a calm yet deadly tone. I slowly peep around Irish and see that these men aren’t Wind Dragons. They have a different emblem on their cuts, and I’ve never seen any of them before.
“Just in the neighborhood,” one man says, stepping in front of the rest of his men. He looks to be in his early forties, with dark hair and olive skin. He looks over each man, before stopping on Arrow.
“Yeah, our neighborhood,” Tracker replies, sounding pissed off. “Get the fuck out of here, unless you want to have a problem.”
The club doors open and Adam comes out with a bald guy—Wolf, I think I heard one of the guys call him. Adam looks around almost frantically until he sees me, then storms in my direction, taking his place next to Irish, right in front of me. Wolf stands on the other side, next to Arrow.
I’m suddenly wishing I’d taken my ass home when Lana offered.
“We have a fucking problem, all right,” the man roars, staring daggers at . . . Adam? I can only imagine what Adam did. “You don’t have enough whores in your club? You need to fuck my old lady?”
Fuck.
Adam slept with the man’s woman? Is he crazy? Is this who he’s turned into? A walking dick? I feel like slapping Adam myself. When he was with me, as young as we were, he claimed he was always loyal. I saw him flirt, sure, and I saw women trying to get his attention plenty of times. It made me jealous as hell, but I never saw him act on it.
In high school, the rumors of his cheating followed us around and I’d get angry with each one, not knowing in my youth and inexperience how to handle the situation or my emotions. Looking back, I know I added a lot of unnecessary drama to our relationship. I had trust issues, and Adam had a huge ego. Apparently that hasn’t changed, plus Rake’s life is like a free-for-all, smorgasbord of pussy. And this is the man I once thought I’d marry? I can’t help but feel disappointed.
Focus on the issue at hand, Bailey.
I can actually feel all the Wind Dragons look in Adam’s direction.
“I haven’t fucked anyone who mentioned being an old lady,” Adam replies, looking the man in the eye. “If you can’t control your bitch, pretty sure that’s not my fuckin’ problem.”
I cringe, then look at Anna and Lana, who are wearing similar expressions on their faces. The men are outnumbered, but they don’t seem scared in the least. I, on the other hand, want to run back into Rift and hide. From the corner of my eye, I see Arrow saying something to Anna under his breath and her slight nod in response. I’m too busy watching them to see the man from the other MC step forward and throw the first punch at Tracker. Adam pushes me backward, and then Anna grabs my arm and pulls me back into the club, Lana by our sides. She yells for the bouncers, telling them to lock the club doors so no one can get in and out. Her demands are met instantly.
“What do we do now?” I ask, unable to hide the panic in my voice. “Just watch them get beaten up?”
I look outside to see Adam punch a man in the face and then in the stomach.
“They’ll be fine,” Anna replies confidently. “It’s only two against each of them. They can handle it.”
Lana nods her head, not looking as confident as Anna but still standing strong. “They’ll be fine. And now they don’t have to worry about us being safe, so they can concentrate on kicking those dickheads’ asses. Knock him on his ass, Tracker!”
Christ.
What happened to the innocent little Lana I knew in high school?
I take a few steps away from the glass door and wrap my arms around myself.
I really just want to be at home with Cara right now. I didn’t sign up for this.
NINE
THE cops eventually show up and everyone is taken in. With the camera footage from the club, Anna tells me it will show who started the fight, so “our” men will be fine. Sin rocks up with his wife, Faye, who heads to the police station to sort the men out. Sin takes the rest of us home, fuming the whole way about how he wasn’t there when “shit” went down. To me, it sounds like he’s just angry he missed out on a fight.
“They’re lucky none of you got hurt,” he rumbles, fingers clenching on the steering wheel. “All this because Rake fucked someone’s old lady? I guess it was only a matter of time before his dick got us all into trouble.”
I ignore Anna’s and Lana’s pitying glances.
Adam can fuck the whole world if he wants to; it has nothing to do with me anymore.
It doesn’t hurt.
Nope.
Not. One. Little. Bit.
Let him man-whore around town.
Bastard.
“What’s going to happen now?” Anna asks, looking in Sin’s direction. “You guys going to fight with the other MC every time you see each other because of some unfaithful woman and my slutty brother?”
Sin chuckles darkly. “We’ll see how it goes. Them coming into our space is asking for trouble and lacks some damn fuckin’ respect, although the men already taught them a lesson, even being outnumbered. I heard their president is in the hospital.”
He sounds proud.
Yeah, they’re all batshit crazy.
“Did you see the guy with tattoos all over this face?” Anna asks, making a face. “He looked scary as shit.”
“I saw Tracker punch him in the nose,” Lana says, smirking. “That was probably the only reason why. Otherwise I was too busy checking out my man to even notice the opposition.”
Sin snorts with amusemen
t from the front.
Anna puts up her hand. “Hey, I checked out my man too. I also sussed out everyone else. I even picked out a few weaknesses in their fighting technique.”
We look at Anna with different expressions on our faces. Lana looks impressed, and me? I think my expression must hold a mixture of both shock and wonder.
“All the men should marry nerds,” Sin says, chuckling. “The women are becoming a force to be reckoned with.”
“Damn straight,” Anna calls out, resting her head back against the seat.
Lana glances at me out of the corner of her eye. “Strength comes in different forms. All of them are valuable.”
I don’t know why, but I suddenly avoid her gaze.
I get dropped off first. “Thanks for the ride, Sin.”
“No problem, Bailey,” he says, turning his head to me and giving me a look I can’t interpret.
“I’ll walk you to your door,” Anna says, getting out of the car. Silently we make it to my front step. I pull my keys out of my handbag and unlock my door.
“Well, this has been . . . fun.” I cringe, then flash Anna a sheepish look. “I hope the men don’t get into any trouble.”
Anna sighs and rubs the back of her neck. “They’ll be fine. Listen, I’m sorry you had to be there tonight. Just know that no matter what, you would have been safe, all right? The men would have had your back just as they would have had ours. You’re family.”
I smile and wrap my arms around her. “Thank you, Anna. It was definitely a night I won’t be forgetting soon.”
“I couldn’t help noticing who Adam’s first instinct was to protect tonight,” she murmurs, looking contemplative. “Interesting, don’t you think? It sure as hell wasn’t his own sister.”
I roll my eyes at that. “Probably because he knew Arrow would have it covered. And Tracker would protect Lana. That leaves only me.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Bailey,” Anna calls out as she walks back to Sin’s car. My smile drops as I step inside and close the door.
Rake's Redemption (Wind Dragons Motorcycle Club) Page 7