My love has turned me a little crazy, I’ll admit. But it’s crazy to the point of me becoming more alive, more protective and more aware of any potential obstacles which I can then punch out of the way before they can even reach our vicinity. What I have with Mark is so out of this world, extraordinary and so unbelievably unique that I’m not willing to let it go, least not have it be stolen from me.
Mark is self-directed, ambitious and has an absolutely brilliant mind. He’s simply super awesome in every way—a pain in the backside when it comes to putting things back in their rightful place or putting his dirty laundry into the machine, but fantastic still. Remember, small, insignificant annoyances can be overcome. And whatever, whoever wants to attempt taking me on...by all means, give it a go, I dare ya!
You know, I’ve always wondered why the saying goes ‘whisper sweet nothings’. Why is it sweet nothings when it should be sweet somethings?! I mean who wants to hear nothingness when there is so much great somethingness to say?! Mushily, Mark is always coming up behind me, wrapping his protective arms around my waist, kissing my head or my cheek and whispering beautiful things into my ears at any moment he can—when I’m doing the dishes; whilst I’m putting on my make-up; or if I’m just watching TV. It’s lovely. I know he doesn’t take me for granted. I know every day, or at least most days, ‘cause thankfully he doesn’t go too overboard with mush-gushing, that he idolises me and whilst I’m less gusher and more the slow emotion-trickling kind, I still let him know how I feel for him, just every so often. I value him more and more each and every moment. Sickening isn’t it?! But entirely perfect for me.
And when even after the so-called honeymoon period has fizzled down to a slightly more relaxed and comfortable bond and the sex and gift-buying phases slow to a minimum following two long years of being together, and yet it still feels as if your insides are about to explode from the wrath of those furiously flapping butterflies in your tummy whenever you hear his voice, or get a whiff of his scent, or see him walking towards the car when you pick him up from work, or when he steps out of the shower wet—okay that part’s a given – even when you see his name pop up in your inbox when he sends you a random email from work just to say he’s too busy to talk, and although with the whole whirl-windy backward way of how your relationship came to be, you know it’s just right.
By then, you will know you’ve managed to stumble on something remarkably special and genuinely unique because let’s face it, not all of us are blessed enough to meet our soul mate; our everything. And when you do, NEVER take them for granted! NEVER, EVER, NEVER, NEVER ABSOLUTELY NEVER!
There’s no such thing as a soul-mate I hear you say? Well, as of a few years ago, I’d have agreed wholeheartedly, but thankfully I was proven thoroughly incorrect.
I often used to contemplate meet-cutes as something ridiculous that hopelessly lonely people made up and something that romantic comedies were built upon; the way films always weave plots around it and glorify the moment. But as unreal and elusive and fairy tale-like as those instances have always seemed, especially what with being a complete cynic when it came to anything to do with love, destiny and soul mates, they’ve still reduced me to tears every time and not only because they’re emotionally touching, beautifully encouraging or heart-warming in every way, or even the fact that the build up of how the two lovers destined to be together to form the happy ending of the film was gut-wrenchingly poignant, but because I always longed for that special moment for myself. I too yearned for the real thing.
When I think back, I’m reminded that neither of my previous relationships derived from anything but romantic or fascinating circumstances. I was so frustrated because I too wanted the cheese, I wanted the mushy peas. I wanted all the comparably schmaltzy food analogy-related soppiness there was! I’ve longed for years for that serendipitous meeting between me and my coincidental future and now I’ve found it.
For me, the accidental bringing together of two people is not only completely and utterly amorous but it is unbelievably consequential in every way.
Whilst my past relationships have been pretty abysmal with a list of partners who had the common trait of relieving me of compassion, trust, confidence and pride, I couldn’t be happier that I once again allowed myself to have a momentary relapse of giving in to the power of my heart.
Mark started something inside of me. He’s evoked a plethora of lost passion. He’s managed to bring out emotions I had tucked so safely and deeply away inside; such emotional state I’ve been too apprehensive to ever again allow myself to feel in the dread of them once again being torn away and shredded into nothing.
Now my heart knows no bounds. I can freely and unconditionally give myself to him and as frightening a sentiment as that has been for many years, it’s inherently the finest feeling in the world. I finally and truly have no doubt whatsoever that what we have will remain interminable. I’ve finally found my long awaited and deserved soul mate; my today and forever tomorrow.
So don’t close yourself off to the possibility because it does indeed exist. They exist. Take chances.
When fate subtly plays its part at the right time for you, recognise it and take the initiative to progress it further, because you never know when that one special person could walk into your life and completely change everything in the most irrefutable, indomitable way.
Honestly, it’s as if heavenly forces have been subtly shifted to bring the two of us together. Everything; every heart-breaking, soul-crushing relationship I’ve ever had; even all the happiness prior to his arrival into my life, I have now learned was preparing me just for him and for our Happily Ever After. Before him I was a crumble without the apple; a pen without ink; a laptop without a keyboard; a musical instrument without sound. Now I’m a musical laptop with a keyboard of apple crumbles that skywrites musical ink notes with every button I press. Okay, I know, I’m ridiculous. But I’m in love so it’s allowed.
Trust in fortune. If it happens, it will come to light in your life at the time that’s right for you. It may take several years for it to happen and yes, it may never happen but at least keep your mind and heart open to it.
And when that time does arrive, grab onto the horns of it and don’t let go. Ride it like the bucking bull it might be and enjoy it because it may not come around again.
And then I woke up and realised it was all just a dream.
Just kidding...
Sweet Convictions Page 22