The courtyard led into a long arcade, open on both sides to what seemed like an endless expanse of paved stone. The light from the sky shone down brightly, making it hard to see. There were white birds scattered across the flagstones – doves. They cast no shadow and were difficult to make out in the dazzling light. The nearest must have been a hundred yards away, but the place was so silent I could clearly hear the scratch of their claws on the paving stones. I kept going along the arcade until I saw a wall ahead of me, and a door. The door was made of wood and was the only colour against the white stone.
Through Elsewhere you can touch other people’s minds, speak to them in their dreams and draw them into Elsewhere as well, though it’s safer for them than it is for you. This door would lead into Luna’s dreamscape. Whether to enter or not would be up to her.
The sound of chatter and voices washed over me as the door swung open, shockingly loud after the silence. Inside was a ballroom filled with people, mingling and talking. The room was lit by chandeliers, but it seemed dark after the blinding light of the courtyard outside. I had to shield my eyes, squinting, as I waited for my vision to adjust. The people inside wore evening dress and feathered masks that hid their eyes. All were in couples, one man to one woman, dancing, embracing, walking, their arms interlinked, leaning together to talk.
A moment later I saw Luna. In that whole vast room, filled with couples, she was the only one walking alone. She wore no mask, only a simple white dress, and no matter where she went, the couples around her pulled away without seeming to see her. All around her was a wide empty space and, as Luna walked slowly through the crowd, the space moved with her. ‘Luna,’ I called, then again more loudly, ‘Luna!’
Luna looked up, and all of a sudden the figures froze, falling silent. The only sound was Luna’s feet on the wooden floor. She blinked. ‘Alex?’
‘It’s me. Come here.’
Luna obeyed, wending her way through the statues. As she did the men and women seemed to fade and an instant later she was walking across an empty floor. Luna didn’t seem to notice. Her wavy hair was down instead of up in bunches, and as she stepped out into the courtyard and shielded her eyes, I saw she was barefoot. It gave her a lost, vulnerable look. ‘I thought this was a dream.’
‘This is Elsewhere,’ I said. The arcade had vanished, as had the door. We were alone in a vast, open arena. The birds had stayed, perched here and there amidst the flagstones. There was a bench of white stone nearby and I sat on it. Luna followed, looking around wonderingly.
‘If it’s a dream, I’m glad,’ Luna said as she sat. She stared out across the dazzling stone, squinting. ‘But this doesn’t feel like a dream any more.’ She held up a hand and stared at it, then touched it to the bench and looked at me. ‘Is it real?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘No. I’m real, you’re real. You’ll remember everything when you wake up.’
‘What about …?’ Luna made a movement towards herself.
It took me a moment to figure out what she was saying. I shook my head. ‘No. You don’t have to worry about hurting me, not here.’
‘Really?’
I nodded, and Luna sighed. She scooted across on the bench and leant against me with a contented noise. ‘Luna?’ I said in surprise.
‘Don’t go,’ Luna complained, closing her fingers drowsily on my coat. ‘Dreams are the only place I can do this.’ She let out a breath. ‘I had a horrible day.’
I hesitated, then put an arm around Luna and leant back. What the hell, it was just a dream. ‘What happened?’
‘They came after me,’ Luna said. ‘Deleo and Khazad.’
‘When?’
‘This morning. They nearly caught me. Then I saw Deleo get a phone call and they vanished.’
‘Was it about noon?’
Luna nodded, and I understood. That phone call had been Cinder telling them I’d left the museum. ‘You ran away?’
‘My phone said you’d called. I tried to call back and I couldn’t get through.’ Her hand tightened on my coat. ‘I didn’t know what had happened.’
I sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to be worried.’
‘It’s okay,’ Luna said, her voice drowsy. ‘As long as you’re all right.’
‘What about that other man?’ I asked. ‘Talisid.’
‘Oh, him. He was trying to get in touch.’
‘Did you talk to him?’
Luna shook her head, her face still hidden against my coat. ‘I didn’t know if I could trust him.’
I smiled. ‘Good girl.’
‘I’m not a good girl,’ Luna said. From the sound of her voice I could tell she was smiling, and I smiled too.
We sat in silence for a little while. ‘Alex?’ Luna said eventually.
‘Hm?’
‘Do you ever wish you were little again? That you didn’t have to grow up?’
I thought of my years as a teenager, all the things I’d done wrong leading up to my fateful decision to sign up with Richard. ‘No,’ I said. ‘Never.’
‘I do,’ Luna said. ‘It wasn’t so bad when I was young. I could be with people. It was only later …’ Luna fell silent, leaning against me. I could feel her weight, see the wave in her hair. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. ‘I nearly let them catch me.’
‘What?’
‘Deleo. Khazad.’
‘What?’
‘I just wanted it to stop.’ Luna let out a long, sighing breath. ‘I was thinking it wouldn’t be so … bad, being a slave. Then it wouldn’t be my fault any more. I wouldn’t have to worry. It made sense, then …’
‘No! Luna, listen to me.’ I took Luna’s arms and turned her around to stare into her eyes. ‘You don’t understand what you’re saying. You do not know the kind of things that Dark mages do to the people they get their hands on. You don’t want to be held by them, ever. Do you understand?’
Luna swallowed, took a breath. ‘It wouldn’t be my fault. I wouldn’t have to know it was because of me—’
‘No. You don’t know what you’re saying.’
Luna’s voice strengthened suddenly. ‘Yes, I do.’ She tilted her head up, staring at me. ‘I hurt everyone near me. Everyone. Even being close … It won’t stop, it’ll never stop. The longer I live, the more harm I’ll do. Wouldn’t it—’ She took a breath. ‘Wouldn’t it be better if I was gone? No one would miss me …’
I held Luna’s gaze for a long moment before speaking quietly. ‘I’d miss you.’
Luna kept staring at me, then her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry.
I sat there on the bench. Luna buried her face against me and kept sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she drew in shuddering breaths. I found myself stroking her hair, talking to her quietly, but that only made her cry harder. Somehow I understood that Luna needed to do this, that this must be the first time in years she’d been able to. I didn’t rush her, letting her cry herself out.
At last Luna’s tears ran dry. ‘Better?’ I asked as she sat up.
Luna nodded, sniffing. ‘I’m s-sorry I’m so useless.’
‘You’re not useless.’
‘Yes, I am. I’m not a mage like you are. I just keep myself safe and make everyone else worse.’ Luna looked up at me with reddened eyes. ‘Why do you even want me around?’
I let out a sigh. ‘Okay, Luna? Stop it. I need you for something. You’re not useless, and if you don’t show you’re not useless, I’ll be dead within the week.’
Luna stared up at me. ‘What?’
I told her, then, everything that had happened and everything I’d pieced together: how it had been Levistus and Morden all along, why Deleo and the others had been after the cube, how she was the only one who could open the relic, and where I was now. ‘And that’s how it is,’ I finished. ‘Morden’s going to make his move in a couple of days, and once he breaks through to that statue he’s going to find that it won’t open without you. If I don’t have something to pull out of my sleeve by then I�
��m sunk.’
Luna sat for a few seconds taking it all in. ‘But what are we going to do?’
‘That’s where you come in. You still have a way to get in touch with Talisid, right?’
‘Yes, but—’ Luna slumped. ‘Alex, I can’t do this. I can’t use magic, I don’t know anything. All I do is run away.’
‘You wanted to get involved before.’
‘I thought the one who was going to be in danger was me!’ Luna looked up at me in distress. ‘I’ve never done anything useful since I met you. I just get you into more trouble. What am I supposed to do against these people? I can’t …’
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I’m going to tell you something important, so listen closely. It’s something most mages never learn at all. The most powerful weapon you have is your mind. Magic doesn’t mean anything unless you know the right way to use it. You’re already involved – you don’t have a choice about that any more. What you do have a choice about is whether you’ll help me. What’s it going to be?’
Luna looked back at me for a long second, then she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and seemed to straighten. When she opened her eyes again she looked more like the girl I remembered. ‘Tell me what to do,’ she said, and her voice was steady again.
I explained. It didn’t take long.
By the time I was done Luna’s eyebrows had climbed almost into her hair. ‘Are you sure this is a good plan?’
‘No, it’s a pretty crazy plan. But if we run they’ll just chase us. Levistus and Morden will want me to get them into the relic, and once they figure out that you’re the only way in – which they will, sooner or later – they’ll be after you too. This is the only way I can think of that gives us a chance to get them both off our backs.’
Luna was silent, and I could see her turning it over in her head. ‘What should I tell them?’ she asked. ‘The mages at the museum?’
‘Talisid should be there,’ I said. ‘Talk to him. He made it pretty clear he didn’t want anyone else getting hold of what’s behind that door. Tell him Morden’s planning an attack and you’ll have his attention. But there’s one thing you have to keep secret – that you’re the only one who can use the cube. That’s our ace in the hole. Don’t let it slip to anyone.’
Luna sat a little while longer. ‘What about you?’ she asked at last.
‘I’ve done this before. I’ll be fine.’
‘What if you’re not?’ Luna asked quietly.
‘Morden needs me to get through to the fateweaver. As long as he needs me, he’ll make sure I stay alive. It’s what happens when he stops needing me I’m worried about. That’s why—’
‘What if you’re wrong?’
I let out a breath. ‘Then it’s all going to come down to you after all.’
Luna met my gaze, and there was something painful in them. ‘Alex—’
And suddenly we weren’t alone any more. Elsewhere changes with who’s in it, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I felt the shift. I looked around to see that the plaza was empty and the birds were gone. ‘We’ve stayed too long.’ I got up, pulling Luna to her feet with me. ‘Back through that door.’
Luna hesitated, and I dragged her along, forcing her to hurry beside me. ‘Wait!’ she began.
‘You need to get back.’ We’d reached the door, and I pulled it open; beyond was the ballroom, dark and empty. ‘Remember: Talisid, the items, the plan. Don’t forget.’
‘Alex!’ Luna tried to pull back. ‘What’s coming? Let me—’
I pushed Luna through the door and slammed it before she could react. Instantly the courtyard was silent. Luna was safe now, back in her own dreams. I took a breath and turned.
The girl walking across the plaza towards me was nineteen years old, and she was dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing when I’d last seen her. That had been almost ten years ago. She’d been nineteen years old then, too. Smaller than Luna, with short, dark red hair, she looked a bit like a small furry animal, full of energy and movement. I didn’t move as she approached and came to a stop a little way away. She watched me with a smile, one hand on her hip, waiting.
‘Shireen,’ I said at last, and let out a breath. The name sounded strange to my ears; it was the first I’d spoken it in a long time. ‘So you’re dead after all.’
‘C’mon, Alex,’ Shireen said with a grin. ‘When I didn’t call for nine years, that should have been a big clue.’
We stood looking at each other. When I’d known her, Shireen had so often been angry, except for that last time. She didn’t look angry now; she looked at ease. ‘What happens now?’ I asked after a moment.
‘Up to you.’
I paused, then shrugged and walked past her.
Shireen fell into step beside me. ‘What, you’re not going to ask me anything?’
‘I’m curious,’ I said. ‘I’m just not sure what you are.’
‘I thought diviners knew everything?’ Shireen laughed. ‘Okay, how about some proof? Let’s see … How about the time we met? Wait, I know. I could tell you the time you finally turned against Richard. I remember exactly when it happened.’
‘No thanks.’
Shireen sighed. ‘When did you get so serious?’
‘Right now, I want to leave.’
‘Then where are you going?’
I started to answer, then looked around and stopped. The arcade had ended, and the building Luna had vanished into was gone. Instead, we were on a walkway running above a deserted city. On either side, stairways led down to dusty streets, stretching off into the distance. Buildings with empty windows were below, silent and still.
I turned to Shireen. ‘Where’s the way out?’
‘Up to you.’
I hesitated. On either side, flights of stairs led down into the city, while ahead the walkway seemed to go on and on into nothingness. I didn’t like the look of the streets below. I kept walking forward.
Shireen kept pace beside me. ‘Why are you here?’ I said once it became obvious she wasn’t going to say anything.
‘I need to talk to you about Rachel.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding. She doesn’t even call herself that any more.’
Shireen shook her head. ‘You don’t understand. She’s what you could have been.’
‘Yeah, well, I paid the price for that.’
‘You paid the price once. She has to do it every day.’
I sighed. ‘What are you trying to say, Shireen? You want me to feel sorry for her?’
‘It’s not about feeling sorry for her.’
‘Then what is it?’ I came to a stop and rounded on Shireen. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, I’m prisoner of a Dark mage who’s basically Richard except not so nice. He wants me to play for his team, and my teammates are three Dark mages who each hate me for completely separate reasons. Even if I manage to keep all three of them happy – which I won’t – Levistus and that invisible assassin of his are going to want me dead for switching sides. Every one of those people I just listed could kill me if they tried, and every one of them has a reason to do it. All together, there is a really good chance I’m going to be dead within a couple of days. So I don’t have time for this, okay? I need to get out of here.’
Shireen had stood quietly. Now that I’d finished, she spoke again. ‘Why are you here?’
I turned away and started walking again. Shireen followed. ‘Because someone up there hates me,’ I told her. ‘How should I know?’
‘But it was your choice.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You could have been safe,’ Shireen said. ‘Helikaon told you. Why did you stay?’
‘Because I’m an idiot. Leave me alone.’
‘You knew what you were doing.’
‘If you know so much, why do you keep asking me?’
Shireen didn’t answer, and I stopped and looked at her. ‘Fine. I stayed because of Luna.’
As I said the last word, I felt something
shift. I looked around and realised that the walkway had been steadily descending until it was level with the city rooftops. Ahead, it sloped down to street level, ending in front of a mansion. A familiar one.
Shireen spoke into the silence. ‘It’s in there.’
Slowly, I walked towards Richard’s mansion. It was exactly as I remembered it, right down to the cracked stone at the doorway. I came to a stop in front of the double doors.
‘Why are you stopping?’ Shireen asked from behind me. ‘Are you afraid?’
I stood silently before answering. ‘Yes.’
We stood looking at the doors for a minute. The city was quiet, expectant, as though holding its breath. ‘I swore I’d never come back here,’ I said at last. ‘When I escaped.’
‘But you didn’t. Not really.’
I turned in surprise to see that Shireen was looking up at me seriously. ‘You never really got away. That’s why you have the dreams every night. You live alone, you don’t get close to anyone, the only human friend you make is a girl who can’t be touched. Morden was right, you know – you are still living like Richard taught you.’
I looked back at Shireen in silence. ‘What does that matter?’ I said at last.
‘Because Morden was wrong, too. You’ve protected yourself, but you’ve protected others as well. You risked your life to try and save Luna. You’re not a Dark mage. You shouldn’t live like one.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’
Shireen sighed and looked away. ‘Alex, I was nineteen when I died. I didn’t live very long and I made a lot of bad choices, and by the time I figured out which choices were the bad ones it was too late. I just want something good to come from it. I’ve tried with Rachel, but she won’t listen to me any more. There’s still a bit of what we had inside her, but it’s so … twisted now that when I try it just makes her angrier. You’re all that’s left. I don’t want everything I touched to be evil. Please.’
Fated: An Alex Verus Novel Page 19