I’m taking Yvie out, or better yet, she’s taking me. She asked me to be her date for tonight and I happily accepted. She’s going home tomorrow. She’s assured me that I’ll be rid of her just after the New Year. Thing is, I’m not ready for her to leave. I like having her around, and I especially like that she has come into the gym the past few days. After Liam and Josie’s anniversary party, I took her back to Harrison’s where she still had a car. She wanted to stay there, and I understood. She wants to get to know the twins and this extra time is important to her. Still, I wouldn’t mind waking up next to her, but right now I’ll take whatever I can get.
Yvie left about an hour ago. She walked out of here promising me a night to remember. Little does she know that just being in the same room with her, or holding her hand is all I really need. Being the gym owner has its perks, but not when you’re the only one working. Since the first night here, I’ve had thoughts of taking her on my desk, having my arm sweep everything off as her hands pull at my clothes. She’s adventurous, I’ll give her that. And flexible. I have a whole new appreciation for a ballet barre now that I’ve been able to use it for something fun. I want to make a New Year’s resolution, but having it fail doesn’t appeal. If either of us lived in the same city, it’d be easy to sit down and tell her that I want more. That we owe it to ourselves to give us a chance. Right now, my resolution would be to make sure she’s always smiling and for her to know that I’m a phone call away.
The gym is going to feel empty without her, but I’m trying not to think about it. Having Yvie here and working out brought a spark to me. Other members have noticed it, but I played it off telling them it was because of the holidays; no one needs to know the truth – I’ve fallen for the girl. I’ll make sure everything goes back to normal. She’s not my girlfriend. I have to remind myself of this fact daily, but Yvie makes me smile, and we have an amazing time together. This past week has been refreshing and one of my best weeks ever. I owe that all to her and when she leaves tomorrow, I’ll do the same as I did on Christmas night. I’ll walk into the airport with her and say goodbye.
We’ve made no promises to each other, other than texting and calling occasionally. I don’t know where her head’s at with her ex. It’s not like he’s a normal ex, one that goes away when you break-up; he’s her boss. She’s going to see him and as much as I want to pound his face with my fist and ask her to stay away from him, I’m can’t. Believe me, thoughts of flying to New York to confront the loser have played through my mind many times. I’ve even looked at flights. But Yvie is too important to me to do that. I can’t jeopardize her career because of my overbearing ego and the need to protect what’s mine… or what I want to be mine.
The door chimes and JD walks in. I nod to him and turn my attention to the paperwork sitting on the counter. I’m supposed to be going over the new memberships and making sure they’re all in order before they’re entered into the computer. The last thing I need here is for an error to mess up everything.
“What’s up, mate?”
I look up; JD looks concerned. His brows are furrowed, and he seems distracted.
“What’s going on?” I put the paperwork to one side and give him my full attention.
JD looks around, peering over both his shoulders before he leans over the counter. “I was playing with Little One outside, and my chest tightened. I didn’t think anything of it, but then it hurt to breathe.”
I lean back and try to read more from his expression. The harder I look, the more I see fear. His doctor said that he would experience times where breathing would be difficult, but he hadn’t had any issues yet. I thought he was in the clear.
“Have you called your doctor?” I ask, hoping that he has a cold or the beginning of one.
JD shakes his head. “What if he says something’s wrong?”
Sitting forward, I fold my hands together. His fears are legitimate. He had a life-threatening injury and by all accounts probably shouldn’t have survived. JD went through extensive physical therapy to rebuild his lungs and worked hard to be free of any walking devices before Eden was born. If he’s having a setback, this could kill him, so to speak.
“I think you need to call the doctor and see if you can get in. Tell him that you want an x-ray and make sure you share your concerns with him.”
JD contemplates what I’m saying and nods. “What if I need more therapy?”
I shrug nonchalantly. “If you do, we’ll do it. I can easily make adjustments in my schedule to accommodate you. But it may just be a cold, or the cold air.”
“You’re coming with us on tour, right? I know you said you would, but I just need to make sure.”
I nod. “You won’t need me, but I’ll be there.”
“All right, mate. I should probably get home. I told Jenna I was going out to buy some milk. I don’t even know if we need milk.”
“Don’t worry, JD. You look fine, other than the stress of freaking yourself out. I’ll see ya tonight, man.” JD and I man-shake by ways of a fist-bump and he takes his leave.
I can’t even imagine what kind of fear he lives with each time he thinks something could be wrong. I’m not sure what I can do to curb that fear, but I’m going to try.
My front door opens and closes quickly. I set down my half-full soda can on the counter and walk slowly into my living room. When I round the corner, I’m welcomed by the most beautiful sight, yet the most confusing.
Yvie is bent over, untying her tennis shoes. Sweatpants cover her legs and her small frame is hidden behind my way-too-big-for-her sweatshirt. By all accounts she should be dressed, and ready to head to Ralph’s to ring in the New Year. If this is her attire, I’m way overdressed.
I clear my throat and her head pops up. Her smile spreads from ear to ear and its nothing but mischievous. I can’t help but smile while I wait for her to finish taking off her shoes.
“Is there a magic dress under those sweats?”
Yvie stands, walks over to me and places her hands on my chest. “Nope,” she says. “Under these sweats you’ll find nothing but me.”
Placing my hands on her hips, I lean down and place a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Is tonight some type of costume party?”
She shakes her head and takes my face in her hands, placing a long, lingering kiss on my lips. I follow her as she pulls away, not ready to end our kiss. When I open my eyes, she’s smiling, and it hits me that this is our last night together.
“I thought we’d stay in. I got to thinking when I was packing that the last thing I want to do is go out to a bar where it’s noisy and crowded, when all I really want to do is cuddle up next to you on the couch and watch movies.”
“Yeah?” I ask, making sure that my ears aren’t deceiving me.
“Yeah. I mean unless you want to go out. I can change–”
“No, no, this is great. Fantastic even. I’d love to sit on the couch and watch movies with you.”
Yvie’s face lights up, and I try to memorize the look of excitement on her face. There are so many moments that I wish I had a camera so that when she’s gone, I can go back and look at them and bring up each memory. Some of her expressions I won’t be able to replicate over Skype.
“I brought essentials,” she says, walking away from me. She bends over, and I find my head tilting to the side to get a good look at her beautiful ass. Yvie’s been working hard to firm up and I’ve been helping.
Yvie turns her head quickly and catches me staring at her. Her grin is wicked as she winks at me. When she stands, she’s holding a bottle of wine.
“The only thing missing is food,” I say, as she walks past me and into the kitchen.
“I thought we could get take out.”
I pretend to ponder the idea, but pull out the take-out menus and hand them to her. I trap her against the counter and nuzzle her neck. She giggles, but doesn’t pull away.
“How about Chinese?”
“Perfect,” I murmur against her neck.
&nb
sp; After calling in our order, I open the bottle of wine and pour us a glass each.
“To a new year and new friends,” I say, as our glasses touch.
“And midnight kisses,” she says, pulling my glass away and bringing me in for a kiss.
Warmth. That’s what I feel when I’m nestled in Xander’s arms. He’s allowed me to channel surf. He hasn’t balked once, even when I stop on the sappy movies. He encourages me to change the channel and kisses away my blubbering tears when I don’t.
“I don’t understand why you watch this if it’s going to make you cry.” He adjusts me in his arms, resting his head on top of my shoulder. His arms are wrapped around me as I sit between his legs. A blanket, one that his mom made, covers his legs.
“Tell me about your parents.” I know this is a line we shouldn’t cross, but he knows so much about my family, and I know nothing about his. We’re not in a relationship, but we’re friends and friends can know things. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
“What do you want to know?” Xander brushes his fingers along the nape of my neck causing not only goosebumps, but also a change in body temperature. I know what he wants. I want it too. It’s our last night together and both of us have avoided the elephant in the room – when or if we’ll see each other again. I want to see him. I’m just not sure how to make it work. I don’t know if Xander fits in with the life I lead in New York. I had a hard enough time fitting in here. I’m just not sure how long I’ll be able to stay away. Aside from my family, I really enjoy being with Xander. I just don’t know if I can give him what I think he needs in life.
“What do they do, names, where do they live?”
“Ah, are we at that stage now?” Before I can answer, his fingers tighten over my shoulders and he starts to knead my muscles. My head falls back, and I let out the longest moan ever.
“Hmm, I sort of like that sound,” he whispers against my skin.
“Xander, tell me.”
He sighs, but doesn’t stop with the massage. His fingers and hands are like magic and could put me to sleep, although I know that won’t happen. Not tonight.
“My dad is a financial advisor and my mom is an interior decorator. They live in Miami is an obscenely large home that most of us refer to as a mansion. They work long hours, cater to the stars and vacation a lot.”
I’m a little taken by how well off his parents seem to be. By all accounts, Xander should be a stuck up party boy living off his parent’s money, but he’s not. He’s grounded, with a good head on his shoulders and with a thriving business.
“Do they know the guys?” By guys, I mean Liam, my brother and Jimmy.
“Hmm, I’m not sure. They could, or maybe Liam knows someone who knows them. We’ve never discussed it, and I’d never use my parents to get ahead in life.”
I nod, and lean back into him a little more. He stops rubbing my shoulders, and instead wraps me in his arms.
“Do you like your job? What about your parents, do they like that you live in Beaumont?”
“When I answered the ad for JD, I never thought it would lead to all of this. I was just a few years out of college and working in a rehab facility when I happened to see the ad that the administrator posted from the job website. It said that it could be twenty-four hours, and that the applicant must be willing to travel, all expenses taken care of. I thought, what the hell? I’m young and have nothing holding me back so I answered. The phone interview wasn’t even with Liam, and I really had no idea who I was going to work for until he called me one day.
“I’d love to buy one of the old buildings downtown and renovate it with businesses on the bottom and some nice apartments above them. I’m thinking more high-end to maybe bring in bigger business and help the economy thrive. Either way, my parents are on board. My dad is the silent owner of the gym. Everything is in my name, but he’s there in the event of a financial crisis, not that I see that happening anytime soon.”
Xander places his lips against my neck, telling me that he’s done talking about his life. His arms tighten, holding me to him.
“Do you like this movie?” he asks, knowing full well that even if I do I’m going to give him my full attention.
“I’ve seen it before. What do you have in mind?”
His fingers find the edge of my cami, his sweatshirt that I wore here, long forgotten. My cami is lifted over my head and tossed to the ground.
“I’m thinking you and the bottle of champagne on the table.”
I turn and look at him. “Me, the table and the bottle?”
He nods as a serious look comes over his face. “I plan to lick the champagne off your body.”
I look at him questioningly, my eyebrow rise. He matches my expression. “Do you have an issue with that?”
He gently pushes us to the edge of the couch and stands us up. Xander takes my hand in his and leads us into the kitchen. Earlier, after dinner, he cleaned off the table. I didn’t think anything of it, but now I know it’s because he had this planned.
“How long have you thought about doing this?”
He shrugs. “I bought the champagne earlier because I thought we’d celebrate after getting back from the bar, but holding you in my arms and knowing that I have this fantasy to play out, I thought we should try it.”
I let go of his hand and cross my arms. “And what about me? Do I get to do shots off your abs?”
Xander smirks and lifts up his shirt, showing me his perfectly sculpted stomach. “I got the tequila right here, baby,” he points to the cabinet behind him.
I stand tall. “Bring it on.”
“Excuse me miss.” I startle awake, only to find the flight attendant hovering over me. “We’re about to land. I need you to put your chair in its upright position.”
I do as she says and rub the sleep away from my eyes. I don’t remember taking off, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. The dream, reliving last night and this morning, is something I definitely didn’t want to wake-up from. Being with Xander, experimenting with him the way we have, has shown me what sex can really mean when it’s between two people who care about each other. I know I can go to him with anything and hope he feels the same way about me.
What Xander and I have is special and can’t be replicated.
As soon as I step out of the taxi, my boot is submerged ankle deep in a puddle. I glance at the driver who is ignoring me by playing on his phone. It’s not like I expected him to get out and help me, but a little curiosity would be nice. After heaving myself out of the cab, I reach in and pull out my luggage and stuff a twenty through his plastic window security divider. My door isn’t even shut before he’s pulling away and into traffic with the sounds of horns honking. I wish the police would start pulling people over for violating the no honking ordinance. The day they do, I’m going to get a chair and start flashing people simply for the entertainment.
I look down at my soaked boot and shake my foot. “Welcome home,” I say to no one as I sigh and turn toward my building. I stare at the gloomy building, wishing the corporation that owns it would paint the outside, give it new life. But no, we’re stuck with this gray monstrosity that I call home. Climbing the three steps with my carry on dragging behind me, I stop at the doorman’s desk, the same doorman who is supposed to open our entrance door, but is too old to move about. He’s also supposed to be security, but the only thing he’s good for is a great laugh, hug and making sure our mail is ready for us when we walk in.
“Hello, Charles, how was your Christmas?”
“Oh, Miss Yvie, my Christmas was very good. It’s good to see you back home.”
I pause at the word home. You never realize how often you throw that word around and what it really means. When I was growing up, our tiny apartment was home until we moved into a slightly larger one, and so on. Even Harrison’s apartment on the beach felt like home. This is where I live and, up until this past week, I always thought of it as home, except now I know it’s not. Home m
eans family, and I don’t have that here. I’m not saying I’m packing up and moving to Beaumont, but visiting more often or having my nephew and nieces here might help.
I’m not ready to leave New York. Right now, it feels like it’s all I know. It’s where my job is, and I love my job. I know I can dance elsewhere, but it’s not same as Broadway. I need the best of both worlds. I need my Beaumont family and my New York job to meld into one.
“Thanks, it’s good to be back, and thanks for my mail.”
I hadn’t realized that my mental musing was a time lapse. In the time it took me to respond to Charles, he had already retrieved my mail. I need to shift my focus back to work and how I’m going to deal with Oliver. I’m not naïve enough to think that tomorrow is going to be a cake walk. I know I’m going to have to fight for my spot, which I find ludicrous. We don’t re-open for another week, and it’s not like our routine has changed.
“Have a good night, Miss Yvie.”
I wave and make my way to the elevator. Once inside, I press the button to the eighth floor and wait. It’s slow moving, but better than walking up the flights of stairs. I could move, but I like my place. It’s a one-bedroom with a small kitchen and living room. The view is fantastic and I have access to the fire escape where I sit during the summer and people watch. I think that’s one of my favorite things to do – people watch.
Tonight, lights brighten the dark streets and passersby mingle in front of the stores and buildings that still have their displays up. They’ll start coming down tomorrow and just like that, the holiday season is over. Everyone will forget for months about how stressful and wonderful the past few weeks have been, until it starts all over again. I won’t forget. I have too many memories, and each time I close my eyes, Xander is right there reminding me of everything we shared.
The knock on my door doesn’t surprise me. I know it’s Oliver before I even open it. He often frequents the coffee shop across the street, especially when we’re not getting along. I don’t know why he feels that this is like the other times before. Breaking up with him and leaving was the best decision to make. Being away gave me time to see what my life is like without him. I didn’t sit around and pine for him, or even call him. I used the time to connect with my family. I experienced what it was like to be free and let myself go, and when I did I was rewarded with Xander, a man who sees me for me and isn’t pressuring me to be someone I don’t want to be.
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