by T S Paul
I sighed and turned back toward the Director. “I’m about to piss off the Marine Corp. Do you want to handle it?”
Director Mills just stared at me. I shook my head and turned to confront the three Marines. At the last minute Chuck and Cat stepped in front of me.
“Hey, what are you doing? This woman just saved your asses! Don’t listen to that bozo.”
The three Marines stopped and stared at the two in front of them. They started to push through when Director Mills snapped out of whatever transfixed her. “Freeze! I am FBI Academy Director Mills and these people are under my command. Tell Major Smart that he cannot arrest MY people.”
The resulting argument lasted for over an hour. More Marine Brass was called in and now Director Mills was under the microscope as General Varmkorv yelled at her for breaking procedure and rescinding orders without his knowledge. The general was a large imposing man with white hair. The air around where the conference was happening practically shivered with each scathing yell. I found it quite interesting, actually. The only way that would happen naturally was if the person yelling was a paranormal of a certain persuasion. It made me wonder how a Frost Giant managed to become a Marine General.
Through it all I sat on Chuck’s 1971 green Buick Riviera trying not to leave any marks on the surface. You could tell he loved that car. It was carefully polished with imported car wax every week. The unusual humped back part of the trunk was scratch free. It was a very unique looking car. Chuck claimed he saw it in an old television show and just had to have it. His father helped him search the internet and sales rags across the country to find one.
The field across from my lab usually had a top growth of clover and foot-high weeds on it. I could see none of that. What I could see were three medium-sized animals similar to rabbits eating every green leaf in sight. As they moved, I could glimpse the antlers on their heads. It made me wonder how far exactly that spell had travelled. Somehow I just knew that was going to come back and bite me in the ass.
“Watcha looking at girlfriend?” I shook my head and looked to my right. There was Cat and Chuck; she had a goofy grin on her face.
I pointed at the field. “I was looking at the…” The three animals were gone. “I was looking at the field. It looks like they cut it early this year.”
“You need to get out more if cut grass make you happy. We can probably go inside soon, the general is winding down.”
“Oh? How do you know that?” I glanced in the direction of the Director's car. From what I could see he was still yelling at her.
Cat tapped her ears. “The ears hear all and know all. It will be over in a minute. Bet on it.”
As we watched General Varmkorv said his last few words and left Director Mills standing next to her car. His men gave orders to the last of the MPs and they all cleared the area. All that was left were the three frozen russian mercenaries, us, and Director Mills.
She looked at the three of us and shook her head. “I need to apologize to you three. I put you into needless danger. I have been informed that had I asked, the General himself would have given me the ‘lowdown’ on the magical situation.” She looked at me. “Can you tell me what happened last time? The General wouldn’t say.”
I chuckled. “That may be why you were left in the dark. Your predecessor was not a fan. When he got word that I was coming to work for the FBI he initially was happy and passed the word to welcome me. It was like a game of telephone gone wrong. His assistant passed it to the next one and so on. When I arrived they tried to place me under arrest and grabbed me.”
SAC Mills visibly winced. “What happened?” Her voice was noticeably lower.
“About what you would expect. I left the building, they shot at me. If Grams hadn’t equipped me with protection spells, I might not have survived. They were not very happy with me. The director himself came down to get to the bottom of the destruction. In my own defense I did try to explain what had happened to me.”
“What did he do?”
“It’s more of what he said. He didn’t recognize who I was and called me a little girl. I was already pissed off, so he found himself upside down about thirty feet in the air. His guards too.”
I smiled. It had been really funny. “The agent who recruited me showed up and took care of the issue. Apologies were made and I eventually let the man down. But not before he pissed himself. He earned the nickname ‘piss boy’ from those of us in the Para community here on base.”
“You didn’t really call him that, did you?” She was cringing.
“Just a couple of times. He got his revenge though. I don’t mean this mess either. He broke FBI protocol and gave several interviews in the local and national press describing how out-of-control I was and naming me to the press.”
SAC Mills nodded. “That makes a certain amount of sense. I understand now why he trashed the files so much. He was on the way out and he knew it.” She looked at the three mercenaries. “What did you mean when you said they broke the rules?”
I just shook my head. For a government organization they were so dumb. I was about to answer her when Cat did it for me. “There are rules. Even we know that. The FBI gets us to join and help you police other Para’s but you still don’t understand. The rules were set down over a century ago. Each race must follow them. For magical users they are to protect the innocent or the mundane whenever possible. That rule was in place before the Purge. Those three cast at Agatha without regard to all the soldiers and other mundanes around here. Didn’t you notice that the first thing she did was cast a shield spell?”
“What will happen to them?” She looked back in their direction.
“No idea? If I didn’t report them Cat or one of the other Para’s could report me for not doing my own duty. It’s a matter of survival. We police our own for the most part.”
She looked at the three of us. “I don’t understand. Why did they attack you in the first place?”
“Before I answer, why did you bring them with you?”
“They are part of my protection detail. The bureau pays them to assist with magical investigation. They swore they could break the spell.”
I snorted and shook my head. “That spell is one of Gram’s. The Council would have a hard time breaking it. The reason they attacked was they wanted my stuff. They could sense it. There is a reason I have a lab way out on the edge of our assigned area. Come on, I’ll show you.” I began walking toward the building. Reluctantly Director Mills followed me.
Up close the door to my laboratory looked like any other building in the area. It followed basic military construction from the mid-twentieth century. Blocky and boring. I inserted my key and opened the door.
“That’s it? Just a simple lock?”
“Not quite. I turned off most of the security features. Greenhouse first. I need to check on the plants and pick up some hay for Fergus.”
“Why do you have a greenhouse?” The director stared in shock as I opened the door to wonderland.
Chapter 3
I have always loved Gram’s garden and had long wished for a garden of my own. Now I had it. With a little judicial use of witchcraft and herb magic I was able to transform the broken down commercial greenhouse into a tropical paradise. All I needed was a few tropical birds and someone to bring me a drink with a little umbrella. Too bad Fergus had to ruin it for me.
“Where’s the hay? I don’t smell hay! You said there was going to be hay!” Up until now the little terrorist had been very quiet. He knew not to distract me while I was fighting the Russians.
“Miss Blackmore, why is your pocket talking?”
I glanced to my right to see Director Mills staring at me. Her eyes were pinched together, and she was squinting at my upper body. I started laughing.
“I’m sorry Director, I guess you don’t know about Fergus.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the Unicorn. The Director recoiled back from my hand.
“What? Never seen a Unicorn before? I could giv
e you some horn, chicks dig the horn. It’s my best feature!” Fergus started strutting back and forth across my open hand. Director Mills had her head cocked to one side as she stared at my familiar.
“Technically, Fergus here is my familiar. Most modern witches don’t bother with them anymore. He was sort of an accident and has been with me since I was seven. Fergus stop showing off, she isn’t interested in your horn.”
The mini Unicorn looked up at me and stamped his hooves. “Fine. Whatever. Where’s the hay?”
I stepped to my right and opened up a Plexiglas cover. Inside was a small bed of what looked like grass.
“Hay! Gimme gimme gimme! Agatha put me down! Please!” I shook my head ruefully and set Fergus down in the middle of the small field.
“Don’t eat too much! You’ll make yourself sick.” The Unicorn was doing a strange little dance as he galloped around the field.
I turned back to my friends and the Director. “Unicorns.”
All three of them were staring at me. “What? Is there a bug on me?” I started checking myself.
“Agatha, there’s no bug. Me and Chuck want to know if you tell him bedtime stories too?” She laughed at me.
“I still feel a bit guilty for his size. I mean it’s been almost eleven years since it happened but he could be off chasing other Unicorns. Instead he hangs out all day with me.”
“What did you do?” I looked back at the Director.
“It’s not in my files? I assumed you knew my story.”
“Your files are incomplete; that is one of the factors that caused the mess outside. I am sorry about that, by the way. Director Offenberg either changed your records or never filed them properly.”
“Offenberg! That was what his name was! I could never remember. Fergus just called him piss boy. In answer to your question, I was given Fergus as a seventh birthday present by my Aunt Cordelia. Unicorns are suppose to be a status symbol for young witches. I refused the present and told them I wanted a pony instead. I zapped him myself and he gained the ability to talk. It appears that Unicorns like to cuss. They like to cuss a lot. So I tried to fix it. And then he got smaller. There is a bit more to it but that is the basics. If you want the whole sordid truth of it all contact my Grams or the Witch Council, they can tell you.”
Waving off the matter, I spread my arms. “This is the greenhouse! When they gave it to me half the glass was broken and the watering systems didn’t work. After I got it fixed, I started up my garden. My family coven and circle are composed of what might be called classic, or herb witches. Or at least the older members are. I was home-schooled by my grandmother. She taught me everything she knows about Earth Magic. Much of what Grams does is magic of that style. Potions and charms work very well in the right hands. Many of the ingredients needed for such concoctions are rare and costly. An Earth witch will have an extensive herb garden and many contacts to get the things that she needs. When it was agreed that I would be coming here to school she made sure I would be able to have the things I would need to do my job.”
“Wait, so all of this is magical?” The Director looked around at the various plants and flowers in wonder.
“Most of it is. Even the hay greedy guts over there is in has magical properties.” Fergus was sound asleep in the middle of the bed of hay snoring.
“Most modern or non-trad’s buy their ingredients off the Internet. Many of the magical properties are washed out and have lost strength by the time they get them home. My garden can be very powerful in the proper hands.”
“So the Russians wanted a garden?”
“Sort of. There are a few plants that are so rare that many in the community think they are mythical. They can be sensed if you know what you are looking for. I have a few other things next door too. Come on, let me show you.” I waved them over to the door. A short hallway connected the greenhouse to the warehouse. My lab was on the far side.
The warehouse was more of a garage. A large reinforced steel roll-up door was at one end of the room. It was secured to the floor with chains and very large locks. Several large eye-bolts were sunk into the concrete ensuring the door did not roll up. A small pile of crates sat at one end. Long tables covered in clear plastic cases dominated the room. “This is my primary supply cabinet. Each of these boxes hold herbs and other materials that allow me to make certain spells and formula.”
Cat and Chuck had been here before so to them this was old news. The Director walked up and down the aisle of tables and peered at the snap-tight boxes. “What’s in here?” She reached for a box.
“Be careful with that one, Director, it is a very powerful aphrodisiac. It can bring love back into your life if prepared properly.” The Director froze and then very slowly opened the box. Inside was a bag of dried leaves and flowers along with fresh flowers held in a magical stasis.
“They look like hops. So delicate. What is it?” She was gently stroking the leaves and flowers.
“Origanum dictamnus or Dittany of Crete. It only grows in a certain part of Crete up in the mountains. You have a good eye. It’s in the hops family of herbs. This little beauty is traditionally a healing herb, but it makes a good present for newlyweds to spice up the wedding night. The Greeks value it as something to be used for love.” I gently closed the box and smiled at the Director. “I’m going to guess that you garden a bit.”
“My family are farmers and Dad plays at brewing his own beer.” I nodded.
“Through there is my lab. I make potions and other things so I can practice my witchcraft.” I pointed to the other door. “The FBI get me as an agent and they get my skills. But all of this is mine. I can’t be effective without it. All of it is why those three attacked me. Some of this would set them up for life back home.”
“You said that before, outside. What do you mean by that?”
“Let's go into the lab. I have a small kitchenette where we can sit down.” I opened the door and led them into my lab. Off to the side was a small round table and four chairs. A refrigerator and microwave sat in the corner. “Chuck, there are some nuker meals in the cabinet over there if you’re hungry.”
The large Were strode over to the counter and grabbed a snack.
“Cat, I have soda and water in the fridge.”
She opened the door and pulled out a couple of drinks. “Director?” She held up a soda.
“Diet if you have it. Thank you.” Cat set a bottle of water in front of her.
“The FBI hires Merc’s to take care of magical stuff for them. Do you know why?”
She stared at me with a puzzled look on her face. “What do you mean why? The Witch Council won’t provide help so we have to hire from outside.”
“I’m sorry, what I meant to say, was why only hire Russians?”
“That I don’t know. We have a list of help that we can call on to aid in investigations. I don’t understand how you could take out the three of them alone. They are some of our best hires!”
I sighed. “I had a similar conversation with Director Offenberg. He didn’t believe me or at least I don’t think he did. Russian magic users took a real beating in the Demon War. The Rodnover priesthood was controlled by the volkhvy. Call them priests or priestesses. It was they that paid the highest price in stopping the ‘Madman of Berlin.’ They burned themselves out in a magical distraction that allowed the English Witch Council to strike directly and bypass the Demon Prince’s protections. Their loss spelled an end to the theocratic rule in their country. Stalin took over and we now have what the country became. The magic users lost their teachers and their leaders all in one fell swoop. They have no Council to stop them from whoring themselves out to the highest bidder. They are diminished but refuse to believe it. I told your predecessor that hiring them was a mistake. They will do as you ask of them but that is all. They really only look out for themselves unless you pay them heavily. Pure mercenaries. With them nothing is free.” I paused for a moment. “I have a bit more juice than they do. But magic is magic. I have
had better teachers and have access to better components.” I waved at the greenhouse.
“You said training. Why is the Council sending trainers to you here?”
“Boy, he really didn’t like me did he if he left all that information out of my files? To quote Fergus, my magic is lopsided. My first spell broke records. I changed a bunch of squirrels at age four. I had my accident with the Unicorn at seven and I have done a few other things. Spells such as protection or the basics I can do just fine. It is when I have to concentrate upon something or don’t think things through that accidents happen. It was part of the deal in my coming here. Many in my family are afraid that I will accidentally change them. They informed the witch schools of that fact. Only the FBI would take me. But you had to agree to teach me the basics of law enforcement and allow the Council to send magic trainers. They claim they can fix me.”