This is the site of Kathi's Mental Health Review. It offers information about BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other mental disorders from the point of view of someone who has struggled with these issues. The information is for people with BPD as well as their family members. The site includes personal reflections, essays, and articles for helping professionals. It contains links to an e-mail BPD support group and other helpful resources.
Books and Workbooks
Kraus, Caroline. Borderlines: A Memoir. New York: Broadway Books, 2004. This book is not yet available for review. But according to the promotional material, the book is a memoir much like Get Me Out of Here. The critical difference is that it comes from the point of view of the partner of a person with BPD. Kraus becomes obsessed by a borderline woman (Jane) who “becomes her friend, temporary lover, constant companion and, ultimately, ‘worst enemy.’” The friendship soon becomes all-consuming and more entangled than the good-natured Caroline anticipated. Jane begins to eat away at Caroline's savings and mental well-being and pulls her into the undertow of a “frightening journey into the abyss.”
Kreger, Randi, and James Paul Shirley. The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Oakland, Calif.: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2002. This book is by one of the authors of the best-seller Stop Walking on Eggshells. This book helps family members understand their own reactions to borderline behavior and how they, in turn, affect the relationship. Step-by-step suggestions—many from users of the author's comprehensive Web site (www.bpdcentral.com)—help readers set and enforce personal limits, communicate clearly, cope with put-downs and rage, develop a safety plan, and make realistic decisions. Includes worksheets, checklists, and exercises that build on one another and enable readers to apply the suggestions to their lives.
Kreisman, Jerold J., and Hal Straus. I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality. New York: Avon, 1989. This is the first consumer-oriented book published on BPD. It offers professional advice, which helps victims and their families to understand and cope with BPD.
———. Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder. Hoboken, N.J.: John Wiley & Sons, 2004. This book is not yet available for review. Promotional material states that the book delivers the latest information on the borderline personality disorder. Rich with dramatic case studies of Kreisman's patients, the book describes and offers advice on today's most promising treatments along with practical coping strategies for the loved ones of BPD sufferers.
Lawson, Christine Ann. Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship. New York: Jason Aronson Publications, 2002. Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from BPD produce children who may flounder in life even as adults. These children futilely struggle to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier or even a discernible shore. Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch mother. This book is not for people with BPD unless they have a borderline mother. Adult children may also want to join an e-mail support group just for them. See www. bpdcentral.com for more information. This site also provides e-mail support groups for those who are coparenting with someone with BPD traits. Resources for younger children can be found at the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (www.pdan.org).
Mason, Paul T., and Randi Kreger. Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Oakland, Calif.: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 1998. Often considered the bible on borderline personality disorder, this book has sold more than 150,000 copies and has been translated into seven different languages. It is a self-help guide that explains interaction patterns between people with BPD traits and those who care about them. Then it explains in detail what family members can do to get off the emotional roller coaster—even if the person in their life does not want to change. This book focuses mainly on understanding and coping with “acting out” borderline behaviors such as false accusations, raging, blaming, and other traits that greatly affect family members.
Moskovitz, Richard. Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder. 2d ed. Dallas: Taylor Publishing Company, 2001. The author writes “Lost in the Mirror explores the origins of Borderline Personality Disorder and offers its sufferers a framework for beginning to heal.” The book elaborates on the kinds of psychotherapy that are practiced today. It describes mainstream approaches, such as psychoanalytic psychotherapy, cognitive therapy, and behavior therapy, as well as innovative treatments, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This is a gentle book for people who have just learned they may have BPD.
Roth, Kimberlee, and Freda B. Friedman. Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem. Oakland, Calif.: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2003. This book, written specifically for adult children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from BPD. Readers learn what psychological criteria are necessary for a BPD diagnosis and identify the specific characteristics in their parent. It includes specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. It discusses the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition. Adult children may also want to join an e-mail support group just for them. See www.bpdcentral.com for more information. This site also provides e-mail support groups for those who are coparenting with someone with BPD traits. Resources for younger children can be found at the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (www.pdan.org).
Smith, Sally Bedell. Diana in Search of Herself: Portrait of a Troubled Princess. New York: Signet, 1999. This biography of Princess Diana offers a description of BPD behavior on every page. It concludes with the author's and a clinician's assessment that Diana most likely suffered from BPD. The author fully acknowledges Diana's positive traits: her compassion, her devotion to her children, and her warmth and generosity. This book provides a portrait of a multifaceted, emotionally complicated woman struggling with BPD under the scrutiny of the world.
Winkler, Kathy, and Randi Kreger. Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter without Sacrificing Your Family or Yourself. Milwaukee, Wis.: Eggshells Press, 2003. This booklet is not in bookstores and is only available by calling 1-888-35-SHELL. Drawing on the experiences of 250 parents whose children were diagnosed with BPD, the fifty-four-page booklet helps parents of both adult and minor children who have BPD. The booklet offers suggestions for finding treatment, working with care providers, countering false accusations of abuse, handling crises, fostering independence, handling finances, protecting siblings, and maintaining hope. It is the only resource specifically for parents of a borderline child of any age. Parents may also want to join an e-mail support group just for them. See www.bpdcentral.com for more information. They can find additional support groups and sites for parents by searching the Web.
About the Author
Rachel Reiland is a wife, mother of three, accountant, and writer living in the Midwest. Through a combination of psychotherapy and spirituality, she has managed to overcome anorexia and borderline personality disorder, a shadowy and often misunderstood form of mental illness. Rachel Reiland is a pseudonym.
Hazelden Publishing and Educational Services is a division of the Hazelden Foundation, a not-for-profit organization. Since 1949, Hazelden has been a leader in promoting the dignity and treatment of people afflicted with the disease of chemical dependency.
The mission of the foundation is to improve the quality of life for individuals, families, and communities by providing a nationa
l continuum of information, education, and recovery services that are widely accessible; to advance the field through research and training; and to improve our quality and effectiveness through continuous improvement and innovation.
Stemming from that, the mission of this division is to provide quality information and support to people wherever they may be in their personal journey—from education and early intervention, through treatment and recovery, to personal and spiritual growth.
Although our treatment programs do not necessarily use everything Hazelden publishes, our bibliotherapeutic materials support our mission and the Twelve Step philosophy upon which it is based. We encourage your comments and feedback.
The headquarters of the Hazelden Foundation are in Center City, Minnesota. Additional treatment facilities are located in Chicago, Illinois; Newberg, Oregon; New York, New York; Plymouth, Minnesota; St. Paul, Minnesota; and West Palm Beach, Florida. At these sites, we provide a continuum of care for men and women of all ages. Our Plymouth facility is designed specifically for youth and families.
For more information on Hazelden, please call 1-800-257-7800. Or you may access our World Wide Web site on the Internet at www.hazelden.org.
Table of Contents
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright
Note from Original Publisher
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Epilogue
Borderline Personality Disorder Resources
About the Author
Get Me Out of Here Page 37