Of Muse, Meandering and Midnight

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Of Muse, Meandering and Midnight Page 2

by Samuel Wagan Watson


  as mullet dance in the cold blackness afraid of nothing

  we too, walk against our curfew

  we see the eyes under the jetty,

  phosphorescence and ectoplasm

  under the death of the floorboards

  looking up from the muddy grave

  stealing a glance at the clear cover of stars

  a fishing boat drones somewhere out there on the water

  and in the distance a buoy flashes red lights and green

  and you suddenly feel the loneliness out there

  that’s where you can escape to

  the smell of mashed potatoes and chops hang in the air

  drags our attention back to the shoreline cottages

  Ray Martin chatters somewhere in the glow of sixty watt lighting

  we turn and face the clatter of dead wood

  our lifeline home

  and leave our jetty,

  leave away the mystical squawks of curlew in the swamp

  that eerie bleakness we came to love,

  this innocence we behold

  that we had nothing to fear but our parents’ scorn

  carefree

  you’d never forget the pelicans

  because it was their home too

  and that occasional one who’d try and swallow your baited hook

  while we cast out into an endless mould of brown and blue skin

  sometimes catching our line in its enormous and clumsy wingspan

  floating around the jetty constantly boasting that huge gullet

  so close to the pylons covered in poison oyster shells

  that waited for the bare flesh within our gait,

  inviting our bare flesh to dance

  Mum worried that we’d get sick from eating them

  Dad saying the sewage from the caravan park

  would sometimes flow near where we fished

  and that the oysters bathed in it too

  little buckets of a few bream

  silver catch of a meal

  and the persistent cats at our ankles

  lapping up the smell

  running up past the shop

  a front window necropolis of stonefish in vegemite jars

  suspended in a vault of clear alcoholic brine

  still deadly in death

  and us in bare feet all the time

  three kids in stonefish ... infested mud

  playing russian roulette—

  one good pair of running shoes between us

  the mosquito room

  a melody on the edge

  of monotone madness

  rampant

  unstoppable

  uncompromising

  in the mosquito room

  it knows not an end

  out of respect for the thunder

  it does not pause

  for the seductive summer rains,

  millions of black, micro-winged demons

  playing violins at break-neck speed

  zipping through the air

  malicious

  flirtatious

  at home

  in the mosquito room

  mudflat

  dried up and cracked

  remnants

  of prehistoric reptile scales

  huge and menacing,

  a chocolate flesh

  that twists along the shores of the wetland

  —but waiting for the veil of the incoming tide

  is the monster

  content when cold and hungry for

  the mass that rolls with the current

  it never sleeps

  deadman’s mouth harp

  walking along a bitumen shoulder

  ‘round the witching hour

  it comes through the darkness

  an unwelcome companion

  that levels the grass and foliage,

  a whistle

  like a crystal spear

  cuts the stillness into fine pieces

  a maiden carried in the wind

  sultry, yet hollow,

  a tune from a deadman’s mouth harp

  a cry that follows the night

  chilled and evil

  it echoes the little spirits in the breeze

  black lips and diamond teeth

  it strays beyond the ebony cover of sky

  spat out of a deadman’s mouth harp,

  played over and over

  a monotone symphony

  from the tired beast

  of damned and lonely eternity

  it starts

  it starts

  from the darkness of mangrove dreaming

  unable to surrender to time,

  later stalked in death,

  the stoic’s domain is the open marshland

  under a red sky looming

  where the arthritic bones refuse to bend

  broken in the blatant malice of the elements,

  and even then

  its dignity is only served

  by the chilling shrieks of stormbirds

  astride crumbling limbs

  whose space is a waiting graveyard

  and valuable a wooden tear

  where no mercy spills from the thousands

  of lush, green enveloping peers,

  so laden with life

  so unsparing

  that no two trees help one another

  amid the birth and dying cycle of this wetland

  if only it could speak

  and touch human ears

  someone may then appreciate

  the frozen insanity

  that accompanies

  the greying presence

  of a decaying mangrove tree

  a verse for the cheated

  growing up on the southern fringe of the Sunshine Coast

  we often heard adults rambling on about the local economy

  and saw the bright plumage and wealth of tourists

  those who came with an odd hunger for visitation

  and soon left as tourists

  some who copped the brunt of our youthful grievances

  those buying postcards of pristine beaches

  that were nowhere near us

  and purchasing painted coral stolen from hundreds of miles away

  and branded with the tag, MADE IN TAIWAN,

  they arrived in their brand-new cars that sparkled

  upon a strip of bitumen that we regarded as a petulant beast,

  a highway that carried some of us away

  forever

  young and unaware of the finality of death

  its greedy black claws lubricated on the nectar of broken dreams

  my mate who had his licence for only a week

  ...the sister of a friend on a casual drive home

  ...an academic in the senior class, the world at her fingertips

  ...another mate taken on a motorbike

  and a friend who ended up as a plaything for the monster

  pulled from the wreckage screaming, fed on painkillers and nightmares

  all of this and the tourists taking photos of the roadside crosses

  thinking how fortunate and cool we kids looked in this haven

  how carefree it must be approaching adulthood on the Sunshine Coast,

  and the recalcitrant animal

  prepared to deliver us on our future paths of success

  and to pick a few off on our way

  1986

  he pays no heed to the thunder god

  yet he is wary and tired

  ‘cause you see funny things out here

  as the heat gets you,

  twigs snapping behind him

  when suddenly in some places the breeze just stops!

  all his hair stands to attention

  this black man from a northern people

  whose world has nothing to do

  with the road ripping through

  the wetland

  but he is sensitive

  is conscious

  wit
h dealings and bills

  and mouths to feed,

  a witness to the machines eating the tea-tree

  clawing the soil

  burning this patch of bush

  for someone else’s lust of bitumen and noise

  well, he just has to keep moving

  despite the dark shadows of ochre and skin

  that tempt the mind’s eye to ponder

  what was

  and never may be

  again

  the fatal garden

  don’t judge me by my skin

  at 4.30am

  under

  the street-lit madness

  black—white—yellow—red

  all the people

  of the spectrum,

  like an arrangement of flower-show blossoms

  peace is plausible

  but

  it seemed easier to create

  a mockery

  of the human condition

  born

  of immortal Greek philosophers

  well, how immortal is it?

  it didn’t last long,

  until the tulips and the roses,

  and snapdragons

  and poppies

  began slaughtering each other

  the killing season

  bitter harvests:

  spring

  summer

  autumn

  winter

  and

  escape

  radio thick blood

  I sit in my room

  as they advise

  that another united nations envoy

  has been captured to the shock of their country

  by another country

  another suffering

  we kill a few of theirs

  so they kill a few of ours

  and the beers won’t pour all night

  but five dollars will get you a look

  at the darkside

  in all our hearts

  to a charlie parker tune

  and even he had his own hell

  that we’re still looking after here

  when someone else visited china

  people committed to bring about change in chile

  and the beer is going down twice as fast

  but the contraband didn’t even make it past airport security

  and someone praises botulism in our hemisphere

  and radio thick blood

  while I just sit here and get narrow

  like a crowd at the bullfights

  where hemingway made it,

  approaching the dregs like a slow dawn,

  tears inconceivable

  3

  and midnight...

  midnight’s boxer

  midnight’s boxer he has become

  that the ghosts from the ‘tents’ of long-ago pay homage

  memories that fill a boardinghouse room

  busted knuckles soothed endlessly with goanna oil

  and on the soul, scars that can’t

  stories in his eyes

  could have been an olympian

  try and extract the truth from his fists,

  although

  he wouldn’t know how to sink in the boot

  a tender honour picked up off the battlefields of assimilation

  midnight’s boxer he has become

  fifty-seven-year-old gas tank that can’t see empty

  blackened skin like blackening memory

  and hard

  plain hard,

  the urecognised pillar of his mob

  and

  after midnight has gone

  way gone

  and his time is over

  will he be missed

  and his triumphs mentioned,

  midnight’s boxer he has become

  surgery music

  they’re always cooking bacon in the cancer ward

  it’s tuesday

  and head injuries last

  until monday

  but they’re still cooking bacon on a patient’s bed

  a face blistered in fat

  as screams reign unchallenged

  until the surgery music

  softens all

  but the few

  few to die

  few to live

  few to cry

  and darkness takes care of the rest

  to feast on the bacon with death

  eyes to eat with

  hands to choke

  white sheets to catch pain

  soaked in purity on a stick

  and a corner in which to breathe

  a bent neck black and flustered feather mallee

  deadened crow with external lockjaw

  a bent neck black and flustered feather mallee

  not as gracious as a magpie,

  neck bent into the wind

  and bitumen madness that claimed you

  scorched mark

  and tears

  fallen into the blackened tar and earth

  blood soaked earth through massacre

  war

  and plague

  this is someone’s land

  played host to someone’s lust of

  a bent neck black and flustered feather mallee

  ants scream

  wage war

  and curse the rain

  black feathers scatter the highway

  teasing the frozen bitumen spirits

  locked in the heat and tar

  sealed forever

  like the constant anger

  and sorrow within

  a bent neck black and flustered feather mallee

  the gloom swans

  and they found shelter in decay

  as the morose ballet

  danced across the wreckage of metropolis lost

  fingering the broken glass, dreams and wind

  constantly fuelling the graceful progress

  of the gloom swans

  a death march of sinister beauty

  drawing survivors back through ruined hearts

  seeing a blend into the melted, living forms of day

  and crawl back to shadows smooth of night

  appearing only to undertake the execution

  of sky’s foe

  why so vicious, oh gloom swans?

  why so death?

  why do the children weep

  in contempt of your sterile feather?’

  why so pardon the corpses

  laid out in the cleansing of your mockingbird departure

  a black bird of my mind

  migrating thoughts

  of bitter sweet anxieties

  come once

  in a curse

  orona

  road

  of stone

  harshly cut rocks

  of little chance

  that attracts a man

  of word

  of time

  of sacrifice

  to lay against the grain

  but why walk a road of bitter sweet?

  when easier

  to cut one’s throat

  and watch a sea of

  death

  red

  swimming in the

  rain

  fly-fishing in woolloongabba

  facing the mirror

  and having a shave

  in the near darkness

  after an evening of watching the wine disappear

  listening to traffic outside

  rivers of exhaust and light

  white light upstream

  red light downstream

  schools of syringes

  wade in the shallows

  needle packets float in the gutter

  absurd fish scales in the breeze

  my partner understands it better,

  better than most

  understands the intersecting flow

  gently, she understands

  as a young girl living on a remote, black community

  a minority of her

  in a majorit
y

  understanding, she is too gentle for this river here

  and back in the mirror again

  a spot of blood appears on my face

  the water running down the drain with my blood

  night-juice into the underside of the current on our doorstep

  a small fire is ignited up the street

  we hear the faint pop

  when someone has lost it

  tossed a chemical bomb on the steps of the Serbian church

  and just what did it solve?

  as they escaped down one of the side streets

  down one of a thousand bitumen estuaries

  of the big river

  when tomorrow I’ll stand on our doorstep

  cast out a line in the comfort of full ‘contents’ insurance

  the sharks motionless in the disguise of the undertow

  and the little fish sighing, for the want of better

  shout-me-a-wine requiem

  let’s just say

  it is a little more

  than an obligatory action of mine

  this person from outside my circle

  a colleague with whom I visit

  in a room of four walls and melancholy

  bed linen unshaken for some months under a retrospective

  painting of poker-playing dogs

  in the tobacco-stale atmosphere his unshaved haven

  and I feel the end of it all when I arrive

  his words composed in a collection

  rudely on top of each other

  like the swaying tower of bourbon bottles in the kitchen,

  shoves some red wine into my 9am face,

  the tip-toeing around his verses and luck

  and mine and politics and protocols

 

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