by Jordan Marie
“That damn thing is not Kong!”
“Do you always talk to your mother like that? I’m learning more and more about you and with each new thing, I dislike you more!” Addie says and I let out a sound that’s a mix between exasperation, frustration and irritation all rolled into one.
“What has Black done, sweetie?”
“My name is Addie, you can call me that. He can’t.”
“Oh that’s a sweet name. Do you have a middle name?”
“What? Umm… no,” Addie responds and this time she looks confused. It’s about time somebody is other than me.
“You should totally add one. I’ll think of one for you.”
“I… uh… okay.”
At this point Addie looks shell shocked and everyone—including the damn Mayor—is standing around waiting to see what happens next. I just really want it over with, so I give her a nudge.
“You were telling me what I possibly could have done to piss you off into such epic proportions that you felt the need to come down to my place of employment and give me hell. Maybe you could get on with it, before we all turn gray-headed,” I prompt.
My voice must have been too loud. All at once the little pink mongrel jumps out of Mom’s hands and lunges at me. I catch him mostly on instinct and he bites my chest—which would have been alright because he’s little, I mean, how sharp can his teeth be? The problem comes in when he bites into my damn nipple and even through my shirt the damned thing’s teeth seem to penetrate. He slings his head back and forth like he’s trying to kill a damn snake. I yank him hard and Christ!... I wouldn’t be surprised if the dog didn’t rip through my skin. I literally throw him down on my desk. Addie and Mom both reach for the dog at the same time. Addie seems to win the fight and takes the damn thing in her arms, holding it against her breasts. The damn thing turns and licks Addie’s hand where she’s petting his head and curls into her palm.
“Oh, you poor baby,” Addie coos and it whimpers!
“Jesus Fu—”
“Black don’t you finish that! You’re not so old that I can’t take lye soap to your damn mouth,” Mom yells and the little pink nightmare turns at me and snarls. Addie just lets her eyes shoot daggers at me. I can hear Luka laughing in the background, but I don’t look at him, because I have no inclination to see Addie’s sugar daddy standing beside him.
“Even your dog hates you!” Addie declares and I just roll my eyes heavenward at this point.
“If you can’t tell me why you’re upset then—”
“I’ll tell you why I’m upset,” she huffs. I do my best to pay attention, but I’m rubbing my nipple through my shirt. I’m pretty sure it’s now pierced—by a damn dog’s tooth!
“Finally,”— that’s said by my mother and even though she’s echoing my thoughts, I’m worried.
“I met Petal!”
“So?” I ask, because I was lost before, but now I’m completely lost.
“I met Petal!” she yells—again.
“You don’t like my sweet Petal? She’s a good girl. Hasn’t always had the best of tastes of course, but—” Ida Sue starts, while I’m just frowning.
“Ida Sue—”
“It’s mom now, Orange. And you know I love you, let’s not rehash dirty laundry, shall we? Especially in front of my new grand-pup!”
“Grand-pup?” Luka laughs.
“And I met your children!” Addie cries.
“What the hell?”
“Your children?!?!”
Before I can decipher who is saying what, Addie’s hand comes out and slaps the hell out of me. I hold the side of my face, the skin burning from her hit. I narrow my eyes at her. I’d never hurt a woman, but the urge to pull her over my lap and smack her ass raw is there.
“I don’t know what kind of woman you thought I was, but I can assure you I don’t agree to sleep with a man lightly! I sure wouldn’t sleep with a married man!”
“Married?” Mom asks, but my eyes are trained on Addie trying to figure out exactly what in the hell is going on.
“Thank God I didn’t agree to go to a hotel with you. You have roommates! That’s rich! Did you get a good laugh about that one? It’s not roommates, you asshole, it’s a wife and kids!”
“I’m not laughing about any of this shit. I still don’t know what you’re yammering on about!” I say through grinded teeth.
“Yammering? You know what? I feel sorry for Petal! She must be a saint to put up with your ass!”
“I—”
“I’m sorry I ever met you!”
“You didn’t meet me! You almost ran over me!”
“And I should have kept going! I would have done Petal a favor!”
“What—”
“You can go to hell, Luka-Parrish-they-call-me-Black! They probably call you Black because of your black heart!” I fall back against my chair, sitting down as Addie storms out.
“She thinks you’re me…” Luka says, sounding puzzled. “Why would she think you are me?”
“Why have you been trying to sleep with my daughter?” the Mayor asks, and I jerk my head up to look at him.
“Your daughter?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“I think we’ve got some problems here…” the Mayor says.
“I’ll say so,” Mom says, still staring out the door. “That girl just kidnapped my grand-pup.”
Luka starts laughing and I just lay my head down on the desk, wondering if I can book a flight to Tibet today….
Chapter Eighteen
Addie
“You’re such a cute little thing. I bet Black broke your heart too,” I coo to the little Chihuahua. He seems to instantly understand because he whimpers and pushes his head against my face.
I pet him as I close my eyes. It’s been over 5 hours since I confronted Black, and with each hour that passes, I seem to only hurt more.
There’s a knock on my door and I want to bury my head and ignore it. But it might be Black—I did kind of kidnap his dog.
In my defense, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted out of there and I had the dog and…
I kind of hope it is him. I want to see him; I want him to beg me to forgive him right before I tell him to go to hell. Probably won’t happen, but still…
I open the door and immediately I frown. I can’t see a person just a giant fur covered cat perch like thing. I’ve seen them in a pet store. They’re tall—though this one is even taller than normal—covered in shag carpet, and it has a perch which is meant to contour to a cat’s body and several little tunnel and private dens. It keeps coming at me, so I reach out my hand to grab it before it knocks me over. I take several steps back and that’s when I see the woman from the police station earlier.
Black’s mother.
“Uh…”
“Hi! Sorry for stopping by unannounced. I just gathered up some of Kong’s stuff and wanted to bring them to you.”
“Kong?”
“My grand-pup you’re trying to hold there,” she says. I blink and she reaches over and takes the dog from my hand. To be fair he was hanging on precariously while I tried to hold onto the monstrosity that she shoved at me to get through the door.
“Grand-pup? Listen I didn’t mean to take the dog. You can have him back.”
“Oh no. I can’t.”
“You can’t?” I blink.
“Of course not, Daffodil!”
“Daffodil?”
“I’m trying out flower names for you. I thought Rose first, but honestly that flower is just too serious for you. You’re all over the place, you need a name to reflect that.”
“I’m all over the place?”
“Now don’t get pissy about that. I wasn’t criticizing you. I’m like that too. Personally, I think all good women are. But still, you need a name that reflects that. I like Daffodil, though if I know my boys—and sadly I know them down to the DNA in their bones—most of which—thank God—is mine—anyways, if I know my boys they’ll start calling you Daffy and I’m
pretty sure you don’t want that.”
“Um… no… not really.”
“So, I’ll keep trying. Do you have a favorite flower?”
“I… Orchids…” I tell her.
“Ohhh… I like that! They’re complicated and they do best in hot houses, and again no offense honey, but you do take off with a full head of steam,” she laughs.
“I don’t think I understand what’s going on… Ms…”
“You can call me Ida Sue. I’m just here bringing you some of Kong’s things so he will feel more at home.”
“At home? But he’s Black’s dog. He belongs with his wife and kids and—”
“Oh child! That bone-headed son of mine hasn’t explained things to you at all yet, has he?”
“I… Ida Sue, I’m following about zero percent of what you’re saying. To be honest, I’m trying to figure out why you brought the dog’s things here and why the dog has a cat jungle gym….”
“A cat? Well damn. That explains a lot. I was wondering how they expected poor little Kong to climb way up there to get on the perch…” she says, staring at the item in question like she’s just now seeing it for the first time. “Oh well, he likes the little bottom hideaway.
“I’m sure you mean well and things but, I can’t have Black’s dog,” I tell her.
“Why on earth not? I mean, you kind of claimed him and he likes you!”
“I can’t because Black hates me!”
“Oh, honey. He doesn’t.”
“Uh, were you not there today? He does. Besides, I don’t care. I know he’s your son, but he’s a liar and a cheat and poor Petal—”
“Is his sister, Dahlia.”
“I…”
“Too much?”
“I don’t like that name,” I answer, still blinking in shock.
“Poo. I liked it. If Cyan had been a girl, he was so getting that name,” she says with a sigh like I took away her favorite toy. “I guess we’ll just stick with Orchid.”
“Thanks… I think… Did you say that Petal was—”
“Black’s sister,” she says with a nod of the head, putting the dog on the floor. He instantly goes into the small hideaway at the base of the cat thingy. Guess Ida Sue was right about that. But…
“How is she Black’s sister? Dad told me himself that Petal was married to—”
“Sheriff Luka Parrish and she is. That’s my son-in-law—though you should know he prefers to be called Orange Parrish.”
“Orange Parrish?”
“Exactly that.”
“Why on earth does he like to be called Orange?”
“Purple Lucas didn’t have the same ring.”
“I… Ida Sue I’m confused.”
“Honey, Black isn’t the sheriff, he’s just a deputy.”
“Then why did I—”
“Honey I don’t know how you came up with that, but I figure it’s because Black drove you crazy.”
“I—”
“Trust me, I carried Black and his brother in my stomach at the same time, those boys could drive a saint to drink.”
“He’s really not married?” I ask, my heart tripping over in my chest.
“Definitely not.”
“Oh no!” I cry, flopping down on the arm of a chair.
“Now why does that upset you? I got the feeling you were sweet on my boy?”
“I, well, I don’t know him that well, but I was… kind of…”
“Then why are you so upset to find out he’s single?”
“Because I stormed into his office, made a scene and slapped him!”
“Oh…”
“He has to hate me now. I need to find him and apologize.”
“Well, that’s one option…” Ida Sue agrees.
“Option? I don’t think I have an option. I owe Black an apology Ida Sue.”
“That you do, but a little bump in the road is good for my boys. It keeps them on their toes.”
“So you don’t want me to apologize to him?” I ask, not understanding—but I’m starting to think not many people do understand Ida Sue.
“Well, not right away. Besides, my boys can hold grudges when they get a bee up their ass.”
“I think you mean bonnet, Ida Sue.”
“Whatever.”
“So, if I don’t find him and apologize, what do I do?” I ask, completely lost, but figuring she knows her son better than anyone and I’m sick to my stomach thinking of what I’ve done.
“Absolutely nothing,” she says. “Black will make the next move.”
I frown. “How can you be so sure?”
“It’s simple Orchid. You have his dog,” she responds with a wide smile, and I have a very bad feeling about that grin on her face…
Chapter Nineteen
Black
“Where’s the mutt?” I ask Mom. The house is way too quiet tonight. Jansen is still out of town at a convention discussing the latest techniques in raising cattle. Mary is working a double shift, and Cyan… Lord only knows what that boy is doing, but I wish I had joined him. Anything would be better than eating dinner with my mom on a Friday night, alone in the house.
If you looked up loser right now in the dictionary you would see my face.
“You mean Kong?” Mom asks, looking over at me and I really don’t like that smile on her face. I don’t trust it either.
“That mutt is not Kong.”
“The mayor’s daughter kept him. She took all of his stuff.”
“She stole my dog?”
“Well, you didn’t want him did you?”
“That’s beside the point! She can’t just steal my damn dog. There are laws against that kind of stuff!”
“But, you didn’t want the dog, Black,” Mom says calmly—too calmly. I should take note of that and proceed cautiously, but I can’t. I didn’t have a bit of luck tracking down Kong today. The mess with Addie is just a fucking cherry on top of the sundae. I’m so stressed and frustrated and I can’t take it out on Linda. If I do that, it invites her back in my life to fuck with me. So, I’m focusing it on the other woman in my life who is destroying the peace I’m trying to build.
Adelle Harrington.
Oh I got her texts apologizing for thinking I was Luka and explaining how she took it for granted when I delivered papers and told her to tell the Mayor who they were from. I can even kind of understand it, but damn it! We spent time together, we went out on a date—we made out—all of that and she didn’t even know Black was my real name—just a nickname the town gave me. Like, why would they do that? She’s insane. I have a knack for attracting insane women… insane women who like to mess with a man’s dog!
“That’s not the point! She can’t just take my dog. Why do women think that’s okay? A man’s dog is sacred! Kong was sacred!”
“And little Kong?”
“His name is not Kong. Shrew or Mini-Linda maybe but not Kong.”
“Don’t give the poor little guy that name. That’s just animal cruelty. Now if my grand-pup was a snake… Linda might be a good name.”
“Quit distracting me. I’m upset. I’m going to get the damn dog back.”
“I knew you loved Kong!”
“I do not! Thanks to that mutt I now have a pierced nipple.”
“Those can be fun. I’ve got two.”
I stop talking. I’m pretty sure my life flashes before my eyes.
“Mom. I love you, so I’m going to say this only one time and then after I go and get that damn dog, I’m going to come home and drink myself into a coma and pray I never remember what was said tonight.”
“What’s that?”
“Never, ever tell me about your nipples. Actually—never tell me about any part of your boobs… or heck even your anatomy in general.”
“Is this what we have come to Black Horn Lucas?”
I hold my head down on the table.
“You are never to call me Horn either. You know I took that name off my birth certificate as soon as I legally could
.”
“I know, it hurt my heart. It’s a beautiful name and I have such fond memories of that night in that restored Model T with the shiny black horn. That rumble seat is the main reason you and your brother are here. Your daddy—bless his soul—had to squeeze that horn over and over to drown out the noise …” she trails off recalling her memories before ending in a heartfelt sigh. The trip down memory lane might be nice if we weren’t talking about my parents having sex—and the despised middle name I got rid of.
“Mom—”
“Fine, fine. I get the message. I’ll hush. You’ve gotten so grouchy since you moved back from Dallas, do you realize that, Black?”
“I can’t do this right now. I’m going to go get my dog.”
“What are you going to do? Just march over to the Mayor’s and demand the dog back?”
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do and if Adelle Harrington doesn’t give him back, then I’ll—”
“Yes, son? What exactly will you do to the Mayor’s only daughter?”
“I’ll arrest her for theft!”
“You should do that,” Mom nods, giving me approval I wasn’t really expecting. I walk to the door and grab my keys off the hook on the wall. My hand is on the knob and I’m almost home free when Mom says something that stops me in my tracks. “Of course, since you don’t want the dog. It seems like to me you’re just looking for an excuse to put Orchid in handcuffs.”
“Orchid?”
“Her new family name,” Mom says and it feels like I’ve got damn fish flopping in my stomach when she says that with that damn grin I’m starting to hate.
I’m falling into her plan. I know and I can’t seem to stop myself. Instead I’m picturing Addie in handcuffs…
I walk out and slam the door on my Mom’s laughter.
Son of a bitch.
Chapter Twenty
Addie
“Yeah, Dad, I’m fine. Just take your time. I’m just sitting here with Kong watching Men In Black for the millionth time.”
“I’ll be home before long. I just have to give my speech after the fundraiser dinner. I wish you had come with me,” he says, and I instantly feel guilty. My hand tightens on my phone in reflex. I should have, I know. I’m just not extremely comfortable in those settings, plus I didn’t want to leave Kong alone. He seems sad.