by Noelle Adams
Ana had to turn away from him, shuddering at how close they really had come to making love out here in the open. “Marcus, we can’t keep doing this,” she said, her voice trembling and she had to turn away from the intensity of his gaze.
He stood up and took her into his arms, resting his chin against the top of her head. “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t want me to touch you anymore?”
Drawing in a shaking breath, she said, “I think that might be the safest course of action.”
He turned her around and looked down into her confused blue eyes. “You know that can never happen, don’t you? There’s something between us and we can’t deny it.”
“Marcus, please. This is hard enough as it is.”
He sighed and pulled her closer. “I know there is something holding you back.” He could feel her body tense in his arms and his frustration grew. He knew she was afraid of something or someone and he felt helpless to fight these ghosts that were hindering him from having a real relationship with this fascinating woman. It was odd because he’d never felt this pull to just “be” with a woman and possess her so completely that she never think of another man again. “Do you think you’ll ever trust me enough to tell me your secrets?”
She pulled out of his arms and stepped away. “I think we both have secrets, don’t we?” she asked, looking directly at him and seeing the truth in his eyes. “And we both have our reasons for not telling each other what is going on. We have to accept that and just move on with our lives separately.”
“No,” he said forcefully. “I won’t let you walk out of my life.” He ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling the already messed up hair that had been immaculately combed less than an hour ago. “Look Ana, if all you can do is meet me for a few hours at a time, I’ll take it,” he said but it went against his entire personality to give even that much. “I won’t pressure you into a physical relationship. You call the shots, okay?”
“Marcus that isn’t fair to you. Why don’t we...”
“Don’t say it. Because you can’t do it yourself. You want to see me just as much as I need to see you,” he said and pulled her into his arms. “I’ll pick you up for dinner tomorrow night.” He didn’t ask but made it a statement.
Ana leaned her head against his muscular chest and smiled. She could feel his determination in every bone in his body. She didn’t deny his command because the reality was, he was right. She didn’t want to stop seeing him. She needed him and she only had a few more days to be with him. Maybe if they kept their distance while they were together and just enjoyed each other’s company, she could see him secretly for the remainder of her visit. She only had four more days in Washington before she and her family flew back to Cordova. What would be the problem in spending a little bit of those four days with Marcus? Who would be the wiser?
The next two days were busy but wonderful for Ana. Wednesday, she slipped out of her hotel suite and met Marcus for coffee at the same coffee shop in which they’d met three days ago. They talked about their schedules in general and laughed about some meetings the other had planned. She met him for dinner that night as well but this time they didn’t talk about their schedules. He took her on a private ship that sailed down the Potomac. The staff served them dinner on the highest deck and music played in the background. Marcus argued with her over the latest foibles of the American politicians and they compared the latest stories with the European leaders. He drove her to the Weston Hotel and left her with a passionate kiss but didn’t touch her inside the limousine, making Ana feel bereft without his touch.
Thursday they spent the evening in a small, Italian restaurant and Marcus eventually convinced her to go dancing with him that night. Ana hesitated initially, remembering the last time they went dancing. But this time, Marcus was the perfect gentleman, even sitting on the opposite side of the limousine to avoid accidental touches. Their dancing that evening was more animated than previous times but still just as fun and exhilarating. Marcus was a fantastic dancer and expertly pulled her along to the music.
Chapter 7
Ana read the newspaper the Friday morning while she sipped her tea. She was exhausted after being out so late the previous night. It was the third night in a row that Marcus had taken her to dinner and they’d gone dancing again last night. This time, it was to a wonderful salsa club and she’d learned that dancing didn’t have to be a sedate, formal event. Salsa dancing was wonderfully decadent and she was eager to try it again. Maybe she’d ask Marcus if they could go back again tonight. They were supposed to be having dinner again but he hadn’t mentioned where.
Her mother was sitting on the opposite side writing down notes on something, probably Ana’s wedding plans which meant Ana didn’t want to have any knowledge of their contents.
She’d already read the headlines and the major articles. She was skimming through the society sections and wondered what sorts of events were happening around town that she was missing out on. Not that she cared anymore. The past five days with Marcus had been magical and she wouldn’t trade those moments for the most festive balls.
Her eyes stopped on a note that she normally would have ignored since it was the gossip columns, a waste of space, in her mind. But the words caught her eye and she read the whole article.
“How could he?” Ana gasped, sitting straight up in her chair. The exhaustion of moments before was completely gone, overridden by the anger now filling her body. “What a boor,” she exclaimed, her fingers crumpling the sides of the paper.
“What’s wrong, dear?” Natasha said, dropping her pen and looking at her angry daughter. She was immediately concerned since she’d seemed so happy a moment before.
“That man!’ she said, turning the paper and pointing to the article. “He went out dancing last night,” she explained.
Ana’s mother smiled gently. “Dear, many people go out dancing. And you’re really going to have to narrow down the person to which you are referring. We’ve seen several people over the past few days.”
“Prince Erik!” she spat, not liking the man’s name on her lips. “He went dancing last night and was apparently with some other woman!”
“No!” her mother said, the anger welling up in her as well. “Let me see,” she said and took the newspaper her daughter handed to her. She read the brief lines about the night club, her hand moving to cover her mouth. “Oh, my.” Natasha’s eyes quickly bounced back to her daughter’s, both showing their horror at the activities of the man Ana was supposed to be marrying in a little over three weeks.
“Now can I please be released from this ridiculous engagement?” Ana asked, desperate to be free. Her eyes held a hopefulness, a desperation her mother had never seen before.
The queen sighed heavily and bit her lip, knowing that the world wasn’t fair but wishing she could make it so for her children. “Ana, you know it doesn’t work that way. And we know nothing about what happened last night. We don’t know if the woman he was dancing with was an associate or just a rumor. And you of all people should know how often these rumors are false. Good grief, Ana, how many times have you opened up the paper at home to read about how you were in one place but supposedly also opening some hospital or mall somewhere else. You have to give the man the benefit of the doubt in this case. That is the only fair and just thing to do. Why don’t you give him a call and ask for an explanation?”
Ana shook her head and tossed down the offensive newspaper. “No, I don’t have to be fair about this at all. I’ve been here for almost a week and the man hasn’t bothered to try and contact me once. Why would I waste time being fair on a man so callous and insensitive?”
Natasha’s eyes narrowed on her daughter’s revelations. “What are you talking about? I thought you were with him these past few days and nights.”
Ana straightened her shoulders, her chest starting to constrict. She had been caught. “I...I wasn’t with him mother,” she finally replied.
Ana saw her mother’s eyes sharpen. Natasha
turned to fully face her daughter. She had picked up the newspaper to see if there was any other information but with her daughter’s latest revelation, the newspaper dropped out of her hands and onto the table. “Where have you been Ana? I’ve had no reports of any outings so we all assumed you were out with Prince Erik. We’ve all been very pleased with that fact, I might add,” she said, her hands casually draped on the linen table cloth.
Ana opened her mouth to reply, but closed it, unsure of what to say. She’d never disobeyed her parents before but she was now caught in a web of lies. In addition, she’d broken so many rules she couldn’t even begin to count them all. If she explained everything, her mother would be horrified and that was something she just couldn’t live with. Nor could she lie again, so she was in a bind. Reveal all and never see Marcus again or lie and deal with the crushing guilt? She thought the most cautious route would be to explain her position without revealing all she’d been doing. “I’ve been discovering a lot of things on my own.”
Natasha was not going to be put off. With the grace and patience that came with years of living a life in the public eye, she didn’t blink an eye or show in any way what she was feeling or thinking. “What have you been doing?” she asked calmly.
“One day I went to a museum. Another time I went to a coffee shop. It has been a very relaxing week.” Ana didn’t offer the fact that she hadn’t taken her guards with her on any of those occasions.
Ana watched her mother’s eyes and noted the moment she decided to believe her daughter. “That sounds very nice. But that just means that you haven’t been here to take Prince Erik’s call. He has probably been trying to reach you all this week.” Stepping over to the phone, she dialed a number. “We’ll definitely have to do some damage control here.”
Ana’s mouth dropped open in shock. It took her a moment to pull herself together and react to her mother’s words. Surely she wasn’t being blamed for the man’s outrageous behavior? Why, he’d practically slapped her in the face by being caught by a reporter in a night club with another woman only days after he’d missed their engagement party. “Are you serious? Please tell me you’re not going to call that awful, faithless man and ask forgiveness on my behalf? That is just too much to bear, Mother. The man is seen out with another woman and I’m the one to blame? I can’t believe this. How backward thinking is this family?” she demanded. She was standing in the middle of the private dining room, her hands fisted at her sides as she watched her mother finish dialing a number she obviously knew by heart.
“Anastasia, stop right there,” her father commanded angrily and Ana froze on the spot. “I know you weren’t speaking to your mother with that tone of voice so perhaps you could tell me exactly who you were speaking to.”
Ana spun around and was faced with her father in full fury. King Stephan in a good mood was intimidating and overwhelming. But facing her father in anger was outright terrifying. His angry blue eyes were staring at her, daring her to answer him and challenging her to come up with an answer at the same time.
But Ana realized that being with Marcus, who was the same height but with slightly more brawn, had given her strength. She wasn’t as intimidated by her father as she used to be and it allowed her to think, but only slightly. She was still aware of the enormous error she’d made by speaking like that to her mother. It just wasn’t done under any circumstance.
Ana stammered and turned back to face her mother before saying, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take my frustration for this situation out on you, Mother. I know you’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation and I love you for it.”
Her father acknowledged her apology with barely a nod but didn’t excuse her immediately. “That doesn’t answer my question. What were you yelling about?” he demanded, crossing the room to stand directly in front of his daughter.
This was Ana’s chance to make her point. For the first time in her life, she ignored her shaking knees and voiced her opinion to this intimidating man. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and pleaded with her father to understand. “Father, Prince Erik was out dancing with another woman last night at a night club. I have never really agreed to this marriage but it seems that Prince Erik isn’t completely engaged with the idea either. I was hoping, perhaps, that I could get everyone to understand that this isn’t the best solution to marriage. Perhaps there is someone out there that I could meet, fall in love with and marry.” Thoughts of Marcus instantly popped into her mind.
King Stephen shook his head. “Men will be men, Ana. I’m sure there was nothing malicious in the evening. Why don’t you give him a call and ask him what happened?”
Once again, Ana’s mouth dropped open in shock. Was her father really that uncaring about her future happiness? This wasn’t really happening, she told herself. Her father was not ignoring basic evidence because it was a man who was philandering. She stood up a little taller and squared her shoulders. “Why should I?” she asked belligerently, rising up against her father’s dictates. “Why should I have to call and find out what happened? It was his name linked in the newspapers. I think it would be more appropriate for him to call and give me an explanation.”
“Because you haven’t been around to take his calls all week, apparently,” her mother pointed out.
Ana cringed as her father heard that fact. She saw the curiosity come over his features and knew she would have to explain her mother’s statement. “Where have you been? We’ve been under the impression you’ve been with Prince Erik, getting to know him and finding out about your future husband. This is interesting information so please don’t tell me that our assumptions have been incorrect.”
Ana shrugged one slim shoulder. “I haven’t been with Prince Erik,” she said honestly. “I’ve been bored, so occasionally I went out on my own.”
The anger was instantaneous. “You’ve been out in Washington, D.C. on your own? What about your responsibilities? What about your obligations? Have you completely lost your mind?”
Ana wasn’t having any of that. Her anger surfaced and she stood up to him again, not willing to take what she considered an unfair accusation. “Yes, Father. I’ve lost my mind. I’ve lost it because I’m tired of being cooped up in a gilded prison just waiting to become a portable womb to some man’s heir. A man who, I might add, doesn’t particularly act like he is in love with the idea of his upcoming nuptials either which is a huge insult to me as well as this family. I want more from life than this.”
King Stephan was still angry but he listened to her. Walking over to the table, he poured himself a cup of coffee while asking, “And what exactly do you want? Why do you think you’re so unimportant? I didn’t raise any children to think this way. You have more to your life and future than just bearing children.”
Ana didn’t point out that he didn’t really raise any of his children, or at least his daughters. She knew that he loved them, but she and Marabeth were raised by nannies and tutors, and their mother. This intimidating man would occasionally read stories to them, but his contribution to their upbringing was reading reports on their progress and discussing those results over dinner occasionally.
She raised her chin, not agreeing with his assessment. “What father? What could I possibly become other than Prince Erik’s wife? His chattel? Because I’ll have no more rights under him than I do under you!” she shouted, fed up with the idiocy of facing an arranged marriage. With those words, she turned on her heel and walked out on her father and mother, something no one had ever done before in their lives. She passed by Marabeth on the way who was watching from the doorway in astonishment.
Ana didn’t say anything nor did she turn when her father demanded that she stop immediately. Ana knew she would pay for her outburst but she just couldn’t face any of it anymore. She wanted to run and hide from this whole scenario. She wanted to talk to Marcus. For the past week, it was amazing how much she had come to rely upon him to cheer her up and put things into perspective. Without revealing
the whole situation, she talked to him about what had happened during the day and how things were so awful and frustrating in her life. He rarely spoke of his frustrations, but she could tell that he had some. If she had more time, would he come to trust her as much as she trusted him?
That raised the question that, if she trusted him so much, why didn’t she tell him who she was and what her current predicament was? The answer was simple. There was no way to get out of the arranged marriage to a man she didn’t know. She knew she was fighting against centuries of tradition. Perhaps she could make a difference in her children’s lives, but Ana’s future was set in stone and gilded with iron, she thought with a grimace.
Staring out the window of her suite as angry tears streamed down her cheeks, she watched the world walk by. It was Thursday morning and the rest of the world was rushing to work. Everyone had a purpose, it seemed. Everyone but her. She reminded herself of her conversation with Marabeth that their purpose was to raise more empathetic leaders but that just didn’t seem like enough right at the moment. Ana wanted to be more. She wanted to mean something to someone. Obviously she didn’t mean very much to her fiancé since he was out with other women.
A thought reminded her not to judge him too harshly since she had been out with another man. But he didn’t know that. And in her case, it hadn’t been innocent so why should she assume that his had been? Besides, what she’d said to her mother about the lack of any contact had been a valid point. The man had been unforgivably rude for not calling her in the last five days. For all he knew, she was here simply to be with him prior to their marriage. Shouldn’t he call her and explain the article? Why did she have to call and ask for an explanation? It was humiliating.
But if she didn’t call, would Prince Erik think he could do this throughout their entire marriage? Would she be simply a figure head? Perhaps she should assert herself now and make him understand that she wanted this to be enough of a marriage where respect between the two of them was foremost?