“Well, uh, no, I was just going to say this would have mostly be done by Mexicans where I came from,” Liam said, shaking his head. “But I count, like, five distinct species here.”
“Oh,” Meg said, blinking. “Sorry.” She smiled, wryly. “But you do sometimes go on about Earth a little.”
Liam grinned at her. “You're just jealous of our magic sex robots and third wave feminism.”
“I admit, if I never had to deal with another Hellene who assumed that I was soft and delicate like a flower because I was a woman – or that my womb caused me to go insane or any number of ridiculous things,” she said, her voice dark, “I would be very happy.”
Liam chuckled. “Not all Hellenes. Now there's a hashtag I'd love to see.”
Vulkis stuck his head over the railing of the ship and looked down at the two of them. “Hail, oh giant!” he said, sounding cheery. “Your cabin is ready, if you wish to see it. Though, we did have to knock down a wall for you to fit.”
“Oh, ha ha ha,” Liam said, dryly. “You know, once you've dropped us off in-” he stopped. “Okay, so, we've called this place the city for so long, I've completely forgotten what it is called.”
“Olimurias,” Meg said.
“Right.” Liam shook his head. “Still, once you've dropped us off at Olimurias, you can sell the story of the twelve foot man who farted lightning and threw entire stars at people.”
Vulkis looked at Liam quizzically. “What, by Odin's massive library, is a star?”
“Uh,” Liam said, then looked at the sky. For the first time in weeks, the sheer otherness of Purgatory crashed down on him. The fact that the area directly above Faiyum Falls was ocean made it easier for him to think that it was merely a strangely reflective blue sky. He shivered and tried to not think of all those people walking above him, upside down, planted to the ceiling by the forces that created this world. He wasn't sure if it was centripetal pressure or magic, to be honest. He shook his head and smiled at Vulkis. “I'll tell you when you're older.”
Vulkis made a face.
The cabin itself was – despite Vulkis' words – rather nice. The ceiling was low for Liam, but he was relatively used to that. A hammock, rather than a bed, was laced from the walls and there was a small storage chest where he could keep his things. Megara, of course, walked inside and claimed it as her own by tugging her shift up and over her head. She spread her arms, her fingers touching the walls, her wings brushing the ceiling. She humphed softly.
“You'll have to fold me in- eek!” she squeaked as Liam slapped his hand roughly on her rump.
“You won't complain,” Liam said, sagely.
The door opened. Liam moved to block Meg's butt from the world but before he could, Liv stepped into the room. She was wearing her slave collar and a shift of her own, and her arms were loaded down with several bits of luggage. She looked past them at Meg, then grinned wickedly at Liam. Liam recognized that expression on her face and already started to groan.
“Oh master,” Liv said, her voice breathy. “Surely, you need someone to serve as a masseuse for your lovely companion.”
Meg rubbed her chin. “You know, getting a rub down sounds kind of nice...”
Liam looked at her, his eyes filled with betrayal. Meg looked back at him and scoffed.
“Liam, we agreed, it’s fine if she wants to do it, and she volunteered! we did pack skin lotion – might as well apply some.” She rubbed her palms together and beamed at Liv. “You learn quick, right?”
“I know the basics,” Liv said, her voice somehow managing to sound both demure and innocent and loaded with sensual, seductive pleasure. She glanced at Liam, her hand caressing Meg's back as she murmured quietly. “And it will be such a pleasure to be ordered to rub you down. To slather you with lotion and, maybe, give you the pleasure of Sappho.” She bit her lip. “Of course, I'd need to be... ordered... to do such a thing.”
Meg chuckled. “Well, fuck me. Yeah, I can-”
“Dude!” Liam exclaimed. “What did you just say!?””
Meg looked at Liv, then looked at Liam, then looked at Liv again, then scowled. “Ah, fuck it and damn you and your social justice!” She shook her fist at Liam, but she slightly looked guilty. Liam covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile. Meg grumbled and punched his shoulder very gently. “You also need to tell me what dude means one of these days.”
Liv sighed, loudly, then shook her head. “Well, my master has made it clear. I suppose I will go and sleep in the hold.” She hung her head forward. “Alone.”
Liam put his hand over his face. “Stop it, Liv. I know you're just fucking with me. You're the daughter of the god of war, stop with this fucking woe is me moe-ass slave thing.”
Liv chuckled. “But it makes you squirm so much,” she said, her voice a quiet purr. “Call me if you need me, master.” Her hand reached forward and caressed his belly , causing Liam to squirm – and yet, her touch was so expert, so confident, and thrummed with a kind of energy that made him gasp softly. His cock hardened despite himself – and then she was gone. Liam bit his lip as hard as he could, trying to think of grandmas playing baseball.
Meg shook her head. “Just fuck her,” she said. “That was totally an invitation, you saw it!”
“No!”
“Fine, let me fuck her,” Meg said, grinning.
“Dude!” Liam said, hardly believing his own ears. If he had gone back to himself just a year before and told himself that the prospect of watching a hot elf babe go down on a gorgeous valkyrie would have made him feel profoundly uncomfortable and squicked out, then the him from a year ago would have...
Actually, he was pretty sure the him of back then had been completely besotted with a girl named Trisha Melbourne, who had been completely disinterested in him. So, old Liam would have likely muttered something about the friendzone. Liam wanted to go back and smack himself.
Meg stepped up behind him. “So, how do you want to spend your first night on the river?”
Liam smiled, slowly, leaning backwards into her warm embrace. His eyes closed and he turned, catching her lips with his. Meg started to take his clothes off. It took longer than her single piece shift.
But not by much.
* * *
As the ship slipped out of Faiyum Falls, a single bird took flight from the city. Black wings spreading, it soared outwards, catching a thermal, and sweeping over the river.
Following.
Two
Tethis stood behind a set of cargo crates, trying to work up her courage. She had the basics down in her head. Just walk up to Liam and tell him that she was interested in him.
Interested? Tethis' brain muttered in a snarky, snide tone that she had never had the courage to use. Your cabin is next to his. For the past two days, the only things you've heard Liam say were the word 'fuck' and 'oh god' and 'Jesus.' But no, it wasn't anything he said that made you interested, was it? It was all Meg, wasn't it? Pervert.
Tethis blushed a dark green, and rubbed her hands together to distract herself. Then she tensed; she'd heard the sounds of footsteps. Another person was walking towards where Liam sat on the other side of the crate. Over the faint rasp of Liam's whetstone sliding against the blade of his sword, Tethis could hear... Liv.
Great.
“Master,” she purred. “I could polish your sword.”
“Sure,” he said, his voice as bland as Tethis had ever heard it. “Here. Take this sword and polish it.”
Liv paused. Tethis felt glee starting to grow within her, hardening in her belly like a nut. She did a little dance as Liv tried to rally.
“W-Well, uh, sir, I will be sure to polish your long, hard sword extra good,” she said, trying to capture that playful purr again.
“Good,” Liam said.
Tethis paused in her dancing, looking out and over the side of the river. She wanted to look back to Faiyum Falls, where she could direct her prayers to Sobek. She was sure that the crocodile-headed god hadn't heard or cared
that she wanted this chance – but she figured that just in case he had had something to do with it, she should at the very least send him the thanks. It was better to be safe than sorry.
It was strange things that saved lives and changed history.
If Tethis hadn't chosen today to approach Liam.
If Liv hadn't picked that moment to try and unnerve her master.
If the river hadn't bent that specific way.
If Tethis hadn't been a goblin – born, really, to dwell in the deep jungles. Her eyes didn't see color as well as other races in Purgatory, certainly not compared to the panchromatic elves. But what her eyes were made to do, they did well. They spotted movement and they put movement together into a cohesive picture and that picture caused Tethis to draw in her breath and shriek at the top of her lungs.
“Basilisk!”
Then the immense, feathered and scaled form of the basilisk emerged from the shadows of the jungle and surged into the river with an almighty splash. Tethis flung herself flat and so did most of the crew – Liv tackled a shocked Liam to the ground. The basilisk swept its crested head backwards and forward and the intense, not-quite-white glow of its gaze swept along the wooden hull. Several planks that were older than the others snapped like tree branches and splinters filled the air with a hazy whine. Several people screamed and at least one crewman who had been either fractionally too slow, or simply stood too quickly, was caught frozen on the deck, his face a mask of horror, his body a pale white like marble.
“Ware! Ware!” Vulkis bellowed as the first grappling hook thunked into the wood on the left side of the boat. Tethis scrambled up to her feet – now that the basilisk had used its gaze, it wouldn't be able to muster the same energy again for almost a full minute and a half.
Not that Liam seemed to know that.
He scrambled to his feet, his hand over his eyes, his sword in his other hand.
“What are you doing?” Liv shouted at him, grabbing his wrist and yanking it aside.
“When I say duck, duck,” she shouted. “And kill that stupid fucking thing!”
Liam looked over to the left, and saw that the basilisk was surging towards the side of the boat now. Its clawed forearms grabbed onto wood and it lunged its head forward, snapping at one of the crew who was approaching with an ax in hand. The crewman jerked backwards, then shouted at the lizard in Aesir. Tethis was fairly sure he had told it to go fuck its mother.
The basilisk spat venom in his face. The man hit the deck, writhing in agony.
Tethis knew that she had to help him – but the basilisk was there, and the grappling hooks were suddenly swarming with sleek, scaled forms – forms that had hands and grasping fingers and knives and nets and spears. She froze.
Then Liam was there, standing over the fallen crewman, longsword in his hands.
“Come on, motherfucker!” he shouted. “Let's get Chamber Of Secrets your ass!”
Tethis shook her head. She stood up and ran forward.
Liam, meanwhile, was feeling that curious mixture of sensations that every single battle in Purgatory brought out in him. There was the adrenaline rush of excitement that made things seem to slow, then stretch, then warp like taffy. Then there was the real and present fear of imminent death.
Then there was the fact he was fighting a gigantic iguana-chicken monster that looked as if it had crawled right out of the third edition Monster Manual.
That was fucking sweet.
The basilisk hissed and opened its mouth. Liam flung himself to the side and the same toxin that had killed the assassin in Faiyum Falls splattered onto the deck behind him. He scrambled up and lunged forward, his sword tip splitting the monster's snout. It jerked its head backwards and screeched in pain. Then he saw something flare around its neck. Half concealed by feathers was a crude leather collar that had been looped there - similar in design, if not in size, to Liv’s slave collar. He didn't envy whoever had put that on.
The basilisk shook its head and then snapped hesitantly at him. It was easy enough to step backwards. Then something flew past his neck so fast he felt it on his neck hair and a figure thumped to the ground behind him and to the left. Liam glanced away from the basilisk and saw that someone had thrown a javelin so hard that it had almost ripped a lizardman in half. The lizardman who was behind-
Liam spun around and saw that two more lizardmen were look at the corpse of their fellow. Other lizardfolk were being fought by the crew – axes and shields clattered while spears and knives flashed and nets flew. The hesitation of the two lizardmen proved their doom. One got a javelin in the forehead – the bronze-tipped weapon smashed through bone as if it was nothing more than plywood and sent the lizardman flipping head over tail. The other was pierced through the heart with such force that he smashed into one of the cargo crates and was pinned there.
Meg swept down from the sky, using her powerful legs and her wings to send herself darting to the deck. She landed beside the two lizardmen and flashed a grin at Liam.
“That's three,” she said, casually.
“Have I mentioned I love and am terrified of you?” Liam asked.
Meg winked at him, then swept into the air as Liam hit the deck to avoid the massive head of the basilisk biting them at the same time. He felt the scales underneath the creature's jaw rasp at his back, and then he was rolling away. He looked around, thinking furiously. The collar meant-
Aha!
Standing atop the cabin at the back of the longship was a robed, hideous looking lizardman. His hood was thrown back, revealing that his head was covered with grotesque growths that stretched and distended his skull, making him look as if he had been in a tragic woodchipper accident as a child. But what was worse was that he was screeching and waving his hands in the air, creating crackling runes of light that reminded Liam of the same type of magic that Tethis used.
She had said that her type of magic was almost unique.
But questions were for later – the basilisk was shaking its head from side to side. Its eyes were closed, but through the thick eyelids, Liam could see a glow gathering. The thing was readying another gaze attack.
Liam grabbed the javelin that had smashed into the forehead of the lizardman, yanking it free. He tossed it overhanded at the lizardman sorcerer. The sorcerer didn't see it coming but that didn't really matter. It hit the side of the cabin wall, doing little more than make a loud noise that startled the sorcerer. He screeched hideously at Liam and then started making gestures again.
Suddenly his runes were surrounded by other runes. These were more solid and sturdy and Liam looked down to see that Tethis was holding up her hands. The man she had been working with looked as if someone had laid a glowing green crystal over his face, concealing the effects of the acid. He didn't know if that was saving his life, but he was willing to guess.
Sorcerer locked down.
Boarders matched with the lizardmen.
It was time to make every single swordfighting instructor he had ever had slap their faces and call him an idiot.
Liam stood up, stepped back, then charged towards the railing. His feet pounded and he let the strange energy of the situation fill him. He kicked off the side of the ship, making a neat arc, his sword in his hands. The tip smashed into the front of the basilisk's head and – to his delight – caught and plunged in. The monster screeched and Liam pushed harder, driving Delen deeper in. Blood spurted around the monster's forehead, but Liam found that the shape of the basilisk's skull had a subtle flaw.
If someone had impaled its head with a sword, that someone could wedge their feet in the monster's eyeballs and hook on that way.
The basilisk jerked its head from side to side, screeching and howling as Liam sawed his sword forward and backwards, twisting it around. Finally, the rest of the basilisk realized that it was fucking dead and it slumped down, shattering the railing it landed on. It started to slip off the side of the boat. Liam rolled backwards, yanking his sword free at the last moment. His back hit
the wooden deck and he laid there, panting softly.
“That,” he said, “Should not have worked.”
Tethis filled his vision, beaming at him. “That was amazing, Liam!”
She leaned forward, kissing him. Upside down. Liam blinked, his eyes wide. He had ogled the short gobliness more than once, but that didn't mean that he had expected this. Her tongue darted into his mouth, questing, seeking, and after a few moments, he started to kiss her back, his fingers caressing the back of her head. She drew back, panting and started to babble.
“So, I was going to ask you if you wanted to, well, you know, I mean, get to know me – like, in a sense, that is, I wanted... uh, but then the basilisk, and you, wow, the sword, also, I think I devised a cure by improvisation, but that man's face is melted, that's awful, and I was thinking we almost died, so, I should, I mean, kissing you is-”
Liam, by this point, had started to sit up. Tethis was sitting back on her thighs, still speaking a mile a minute.
“-and I don't even think that lizard tribes are supposed be this... far...” She trailed off as Liam put his finger on her lips.
“Let's talk about this later,” Liam said.
“Right,” she whispered, her eyes going cross-eyed as Liam realized he was very close to smearing her face with the basilisk blood that had splashed his hand. He drew his palm back.
“Everyone else okay?” Liam called out.
Vulkis – who had gotten slashed across the arm and was having it bound up by a furious looking Thu'chan – laughed.
“Of course!” he said. “We're all either alive – and thus heroes – or dead - and thus in Valhalla!”
Liam looked at Tethis.
Tethis looked at Liam.
“Aesir,” they said in unison.
* * *
“So, let me get this straight,” Meg said. “Right now, you two could be fucking like rabbits while I watch.” She pointed at Tethis and Liam. “But instead, we're going to be...” She made a face. “...embalming a mutant lizardman?”
Riposte (Purgatory Wars Book 2) Page 3