by Tia Siren
“You know you don’t have to leave,” I said, smiling.
She chuckled. “Yes, I do. Girlfriends spend the night, not lovers. Besides, I have to get back home and make sure my sister is good. And I have to start getting ready for my last day at home. You, sir, have work and a little boy to tend to at daybreak.”
She walked over to the mirror, pulled her hair into a high ponytail, and straightened her shirt. She turned around and looked at me for a minute, smiling and then walking forward to the bed. She crawled across to me and kissed me passionately.
“Besides,” she said, pulling back just slightly. “We both got exactly what we wanted out of tonight. We both had a little bit of fun giving in to the lust that is between us. It was overpowering and amazing, by the way, and exactly what I needed to put a pep in my step to get headed back to school. So, thank you for that.”
She kissed me one more time before pulling herself from the bed and leaning against the dresser to put on her shoes. I watched her with glimmering eyes, not sure what to say to her. I knew I should feel that exact way, but there was something else here. I cleared my throat and shook the look from my face.
“Of course.” I chuckled. “I just didn’t want to be rude and not offer, especially after the amount of pleasure that went pumping through this room. We satisfied some of our fantasies. I would never kick you out after that.”
She smiled at me and picked up her things, waving and walking from the room. I watched her through the open door. She walked down the hallway and out of sight. When I heard the front door close, I collapsed back into the bed, putting my hand on my head. Having her here had felt so good and so right, but I knew there was nothing I could really offer her, especially not with her leaving for school the day after tomorrow. I knew I needed to stay the course and keep this completely sexual, nothing else. The last thing I needed was to get my heart broken before I even knew whether it was ready to take that kind of blow. And Avery, he didn’t need a part-time mother. When the time was right, he needed someone who could be there every day to support and comfort him as he grew.
I shuddered as Megan moved into my mind, filling me with guilt again. I couldn’t even think about someone taking that role yet. That belonged to my wife. I was starting to think she would be the last woman I ever loved since the thought of anyone in her place was agonizing. Either way, Ella was leaving soon, and that was a good thing.
Chapter 8
Ella
The last of my bags were packed and sitting on the dresser. My outfit for the next day was laid out across the chair in my room. I wasn’t looking forward to going back at all, but I had to. The ringing of my phone brought me out of the dread I was feeling, and I answered it swiftly, seeing that it was my father calling.
“Hey there, kiddo,” he said.
“Hey, Dad,” I said.
“You getting ready to head back to school?”
“Yep. I’m all packed and so is Taryn,” I said. “I’ll drop her off on the way to the airport.”
“Great,” he replied. “So, did you give any more thought to applying to law school?”
“Dad, we’ve talked about this,” I said with irritation. “I am studying education. I want to be a teacher. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.”
“And I’m not saying you can’t be,” he replied. “Don’t you think, though, it would be worth going to law school anyway? You can go with any degree Harvard has to offer, especially with my pull at Harvard Law. Once you have your JD, then you can have more options.”
“Why would I waste that kind of money on something I have no interest in doing?”
“First of all, it’s my money, so I decide what it is wasted on,” he said gruffly. “And secondly, you don’t know you won’t love it. When you pass the bar, you can come work for me and eventually run the company with your sister.”
“I don’t want to run the company, and to be honest, I’m sure my sister doesn’t either, but she isn’t willing to go through what I’m going through with you,” I replied. “It is completely exhausting to always have this conversation with you.”
“Heaven forbid I try to give my eldest daughter a chance at a solid future,” he growled.
“Like teaching with a degree from Harvard won’t be a solid future, Dad,” I replied. “Look, I don’t want to follow in your footsteps. End of story. Now, if we are done here, I have more to do before I can leave.”
“We are done,” he said, hanging up.
I pulled the phone away from my head and threw it at my bed, growling in anger. I was so completely tired of having that conversation. It was like no matter how many times I stated my piece, he always tried to make it worse than it was before. I was exhausted by it, and it made me not want to talk to him at all. I needed some sort of release, someone to talk to about how frustrated I was. Normally, I would just go to the pool and swim out the frustration, but I didn’t think I would get the right satisfaction in the complex’s pool, especially with all the kids there on their spring break.
I walked over and sat down on the bed, grabbing my phone. I dialed Taryn’s number and listened to it ring until it went to voice mail. I had forgotten that she was at the movies with some of her friends and probably had put her phone on silent. I flipped over to Will’s number, my finger hovering over it. I knew I could walk next door and talk to him, but that would tear down the barrier between us. I didn’t need to end up back in bed with him the day before I left to go back to school.
Still, I was completely overwhelmed and shaken by that conversation with my father, and I needed someone to talk to. I was normally so tough, but for some reason, when it came to my dad, I instantly felt like a twelve-year-old girl again. He demeaned my choices in life because they weren’t on his path or his watch. It was so incredibly frustrating, and all I wanted was for him to accept me for who I was and know that I was going to be my own person. I was never going to be him. I had known that from the time I was a little girl. I never wanted to argue or get in trouble. I was not cut out to be a cut-throat attorney like my father, no matter what he wanted. I sighed and decided that calling Will was probably a good idea, so I dialed his number.
“Hey,” Will said, answering the phone. “What’s up?”
I sat there for a moment, trying to decide whether to talk to him about my father or not. I ended up deciding against it since it was a long and deep story and he and I didn’t need to feel a connection any more than we already did. Instead, I just told him I was calling to check in.
“Are you all ready to get going tomorrow?”
“Yep. All packed and ready to go,” I replied.
“Great,” he said, making my heart drop a little since he didn’t seem to care that I was leaving. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Well, my flight is at ten, but I have to drop my sister off at the academy on the way and sign her back in, so I’ll probably take one of my father’s cars out of here around seven just to be safe. The airport will probably be busy since this is Easter weekend and everyone is flying to see family and such.”
“It is Easter, isn’t it? It’s crazy that your spring break and your sister’s is scheduled without enough time for you to stay until Sunday,” he said.
“Well, my sister’s is. She just doesn’t see the point in hanging out at the apartment by herself since my parents are gone. I could really go back on Monday, but I have some work I need to get done when I get back. I like the silence of the campus when everyone is gone for the holiday.”
As we talked on the phone, I couldn’t shake the blatant disappointment I felt at him not seeming at all upset about the fact that I was leaving. I didn’t want to tell him, but despite the fact that I had expressed my disinterest in having anything more than what we did, I had kind of hoped that it would turn into more. I’d had fantasies about this man for the last five or so years. That was a hard thing to break, even with mind-blowing sex. I had the physical satisfaction—there was no question about that—but part of me deep down
really wanted the emotional satisfaction to go along with it. I was already going to this man for comfort even if he didn’t realize it.
“Oh, hey, can you hold on one second?” he asked. “I have another call.”
“Sure,” I replied.
“Okay, sorry about that,” he said after a couple minutes. “I’m glad you were on the phone for that. Is there any way you could watch Avery for a while? Apparently the alarm system is going off at the office. It appears someone might have broken into the building, and I need to get over there ASAP. I’m sorry. I know you are all ready to get back to school.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I’d love to come hang out with Avery for a while.”
“You are a lifesaver,” he said. “Just until I get back home.”
“No problem. I’ll be right over,” I said before hanging up.
I reached over and grabbed my sweatshirt, remembering that it was always a bit chilly at his place. I didn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day anyway, so I might as well hang out with little Avery since I wouldn’t be seeing him for a while. I grabbed my bag and a couple of our family board games that he hadn’t played and walked out the door.
Before I could even make it next door, Will was standing in the doorway with the door open. I smiled as I walked inside and tossed my bag on the counter before turning around to face Will. He was putting his wallet in his pocket and grabbing his keys.
“I hate these kinds of things,” he said. “If someone did breach the office doors and not just the complex, that means I have to do a complete audit of the company. That pretty much shuts us down completely for a few days. We have government contracts, so some of the info we keep in our files is secret, making us a bit of a target, I suppose. Anyway, you are a lifesaver yet again. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“All right,” I replied, smiling as he headed out.
I shut the door behind me and sighed, feeling electricity pulse through my chest. I turned around and found Avery holding the Game of Life and smiling big. I laughed and walked over, taking the game and ruffling his hair. We played board games for a while, and then I put Avery to bed by reading him a story until his eyes were sealed shut. I closed the book and tiptoed out of the room before shutting the door behind me. I walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch just as my phone started to ring.
“Hey, Taryn,” I said, sighing.
“Where are you?”
“I’m next door watching Avery,” I replied. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
“I slept with Will a couple times,” I admitted.
“How do you feel about it?”
“Amazing,” I said. “I want to do it again, but Will and I had a conversation and agreed that it was a limited-time-only kind of affair.”
“You know you could make it more if you wanted to,” Taryn said.
“I know,” I replied, glancing up at a picture of Megan on the wall and feeling uneasy. “But I think maybe it is best that we keep it a one-night stand.”
“Well, just follow your instincts,” she said. “Are you coming home soon?”
“Not sure,” I said. “There was a break-in at Will’s office. If not, I’ll wake you up in the morning. Make sure you are packed and ready to go, though.”
“Will do,” she said.
I hung up with Taryn and lay down on the couch, pulling a blanket over me and staring out the windows at the city. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep on the couch, and I didn’t wake until the sun came streaming in over my face. I sat up on the couch and stretched, jumping a little when I realized that Will was standing across the open floor plan in the kitchen. He chuckled and walked over with a cup of coffee.
“Sorry. It wasn’t too late when I got back, but you were sound asleep on the couch and I didn’t want to wake you. I just got up to make you some coffee because I knew you had to be up and ready to leave soon. It’s about six.”
“Sorry I have to leave,” I replied, considering extending the offer to sleep with him again.
“Oh, I understand.” He shrugged. “It was nice to have you around while you were here. Avery needed to be around a comforting female presence. He misses Megan a lot.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if Will really saw me or thought of me as someone who was more than just a stand-in for his wife. The feeling in my chest made me uncomfortable, so I stood up and took my coffee into the kitchen and set it by the sink. I took in a deep breath and smiled at him.
“I’m glad everything turned out okay,” I said, “but I gotta be heading home.”
“I understand.” He smiled. “Good luck at school, and I’ll see you the next time around.”
And that was that.
Chapter 9
A Week Later
Will
I hadn’t been to this bar in years, but it still had that same upscale appeal it had before. My mother was watching Avery for the night so I could go out and have a little time to myself. Ever since Ella had left, I’d started to brood over Megan again. I knew that behavior never led anywhere good, and even though I wanted to keep brooding, I forced myself out of the house. I had convinced myself that all I needed to do was get laid by a stranger to push those thoughts and memories away.
A dark-haired woman walked up next to me and took a seat. She ordered a Jack and Coke and let out a deep breath. She was beautiful, with long, curled brown hair and light blue eyes. She looked to be close to my own age. I stirred my drink for a moment and then gathered my courage.
“That sigh sounds like it was a long day,” I said.
“Very long,” she replied, looking over at me. “It’s been one of those Fridays you are desperately grateful to have end.”
“I know that feeling. I’m Will.”
“Samantha,” she replied with a smile.
We sat and talked for quite a while, and I had to admit that she was easy to talk to. It probably didn’t help that she was impressed by my appearance, my manners, and the fact that she said I acted like a “normal guy” even though she had read the op-ed in the New York Times on me and my company. It seemed she had already known who I was when she sat down next to me. The conversation grew to flirting, and the opportunity was sure to arise soon. Then she leaned in and put her hand on my thigh.
“What do you say we get out of here and go back to my place?” she whispered. “We can have some more drinks there.”
“I like that idea,” I said, smelling her perfume.
But I stopped and started to think about it as she took care of her tab. As much as I wanted to get Megan off my mind, Ella was still there. Between the two of them, I was really starting to think I didn’t want to go home with this woman after all. How could I get out of it now? I didn’t want to be a jerk or rude, but I had completely changed my mind. I slowly slipped my hand in my pocket and pressed the side button on my cell phone, making it sound like it was ringing. I smiled at Samantha and stepped away, “answering it” and acting like I was talking to someone of importance. She watched me lustfully from a distance, but I had already disconnected myself from my opportunity with her.
“Hey,” I said as I walked back up to her. “I have bad news. That was my VP. We have a really big deal going down tomorrow, and they need me to come back in and sign off on some things.”
“A really big deal on a Saturday?”
“Technology never sleeps.” I smiled. “Here’s my card. We’ll go out sometime.”
With that, I turned around and walked out onto the curb and up the block a bit. I stopped and stepped out of the way of the foot traffic walking by, leaned against the side of the building, and tapped my head against the stone. I didn’t know what in the hell was wrong with me. That woman was beautiful, sexy, successful, and she had wanted to take me home. There I was, though, running away from her like she was a piranha or something. Immediately, Ella’s face appeared in my mind, and I shook my head, not understanding it. Wh
at had happened with Ella was just supposed to have been sex. Nothing more. And yet I was standing on the streets of New York, running from a beautiful woman, all because I couldn’t stop thinking about Ella.
The situation was completely impossible. I had to figure out what to do with it, but the truth was, I just didn’t know what. I had little to no experience with this. I had spent plenty of time trying to keep someone on my mind, but I’d never tried to get someone off it. I had thought a one-night stand would be enough to satisfy my interest in Ella. However, I was realizing it was just the start. I wanted more of her. The way our bodies moved together in the light coming in from my windows, the smell of her perfume wafting through the air, and the sound of her voice echoing through my head—it all completely bewitched me. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more, and even the idea of being with another woman to satisfying those urges didn’t seem like it would be anywhere close to enough.
Those two times were obviously acting as teasers, and I felt like I had been restraining myself far too much out of fear of hurting her. She had admitted to fantasizing about me, and that was extremely arousing, but her innocence seemed to catch hold of me every time, forcing me to pull back. That needed to stop.
I pulled out my phone, scrolled to Ella’s number, and sent her a text just asking how she was doing. As I sat there trying to decide what to do next, my phone buzzed. I was shocked to see she had actually texted me back, and quickly. Maybe restraint really was the last thing I needed.
***
Two Months Later
Avery was in the other room, running around while he waited for me to be finished. I was packing a bag for him because his grandmother was picking him up from my house and taking him home for the weekend. She loved Avery so much and just wanted to be able to spend some quality time with him. I loved my son, but I had to admit that I was slightly relieved to have a bit of a break and let myself relax without worrying about lunches, bathroom breaks, and keeping my wild child amused enough that he wouldn’t be destructive. I had come home early from work to see him off. My mom had offered to pick him up from school, but I wanted to say good-bye before he left for the entire weekend. He needed time with a strong, loving woman figure, and his grandmother was exactly the woman for it. She had loved that little boy before he was even born.