“I see other worlds,” he said, his fingers tightening in my hair. “I see other worlds, Miri… tunnels of light…”
He was holding my face and hair in his hands.
It wouldn’t have been strange.
It wouldn’t have been strange at all––
––but other parts of him gripped my ass and back.
Other parts of him wound around my legs and arms, yanking me up against him, pulling him deeper into me. I felt him fucking me in my ass and cunt, those other parts of him yanking my legs wider apart so he could go deeper, gripping my hips and the backs of my knees to hold himself further inside me. I groaned against his neck, going weak in his arms when he crushed me against him, and some part of me pulled on him for more, demanded more.
I murmured against his mouth when he kissed me, even as I felt teeth sink into my neck, on the opposite side from where Nick bit me earlier.
I opened more when my pain worsened and he leaned his weight, slamming me up against the mirror near the sink. I heard the glass crack as he fucked me harder, until we were half-lying on the counter and he was groaning, those multi-colored wings wrapping around me tighter, until they were all I could see.
The pain got so bad, I couldn’t make a sound.
I couldn’t even tell if it was my pain or his. I was lost in him somehow, just––lost. Worse than that maybe, I didn’t care.
I didn’t fucking care at all.
I just wanted him to do whatever he was doing harder, to obliterate both of us with it if he could.
At some point, we had to talk about this.
At some point, we had to stop pretending it wasn’t happening.
For now, I could feel neither of us wanting to have that conversation. I felt our reluctance to do anything that might force us to look at it, much less stop doing it.
I knew it had something to do with whatever bothered Jem about Black’s eyes.
I knew it had something to do with what none of the seers on our team wanted Charles to know about Black, what Black didn’t want anyone apart from him to know about me.
Even now, Jem was probably trying to limit the number of seers on our team with that information. I’d heard him and Black arguing in the Barrier about that very thing while we rode back to California Street in the limousine.
Mostly Jem did the arguing, while Black sidestepped him or just told him no.
Jem wanted to erase Cowboy and Angel.
He wanted to erase every human on our team who might have seen Black’s eyes glow, or my eyes glow, or who might suspect Black was something other than a regular seer. He also wanted to erase the seers they didn’t know well enough to trust yet.
Black said no.
When Jem pushed, Black said no again, and told Jem to leave the minds of “his” goddamned humans alone… and the minds of his seers, for that matter.
When Jem tried to get him to talk about his glowing irises, Black said no again, and told him to mind his own fucking business.
I knew Black was dead serious in his threats, particularly when it came to messing with the minds of any of his human employees.
I loved him for that.
I also loved that it was a conversation we’d never had to have.
For all of Black’s apparent callousness and quirks, for all of his hyper-pragmatism that Nick and others used to speculate verged on sociopathy, Black’s ethical and moral lines in the sand were a lot firmer than those I’d observed on the majority of seers.
As much as I’d seen Black screw with the minds of humans outside his inner circle, I’d never seen him use his light to so much as calm someone down who worked directly for him. He was way more heavy-handed with other seers, including me.
In stark contrast, I couldn’t help but notice how the seers from Old Earth talked about, thought about, and treated humans, as compared to seers. The difference was subtle most of the time, but it got a lot less subtle when security, military, and intelligence issues were at stake.
Black made it crystal clear that the rules were different in his world, at least for the humans he knew personally. I’d heard him tell seers that if they wanted to screw with human minds, they could damned well go work for Charles. He’d more or less threatened all of them in different ways that if he caught them using their light against any human in his employ, they were out––and out for good.
As far as I knew, none of them had broken that rule, even though they’d argued with him over the necessity of breaking it.
I knew Jem was only a fraction of our current problem, though.
I’d seen the looks on all of their faces when Black’s irises glowed.
I knew we should be taking more precautions to keep Charles from finding out about Black being different, and to find out what Charles already knew about both of us. I knew it was reckless to just blow it off, especially if those differences would be as big of a deal to Charles as Jem seemed to think.
The problem was––a bigger, far-less-logical part of me just didn’t care.
That part of me just wanted everyone to leave me and Black alone.
More and more, when Black and I were together, I didn’t much care about anything apart from the two of us. Even knowing how dangerous that was, I couldn’t seem to make myself want to think about it, or try to push Black to talk to me about what it all meant.
I could feel Black’s reluctance, too.
I could feel that part of both of us that was afraid to even ask the question.
27
Aftershocks
“IS HE COMING up here?” Jem growled. “Or should we just go ahead without him?”
Angel frowned, exchanging looks with Cowboy before glancing at the green-eyed seer. She noted the scowl on his face as he stared down at the flat-screen monitor embedded in the metal table top, and found herself thinking he wasn’t really angry.
He was worried.
More than that, it struck her that he was sad, maybe even grieving.
Remembering how he’d lashed out in that meeting with Brick, she frowned, wondering exactly what was going on with him.
She was still staring at his face when Jem turned, giving her a hard look.
“Do you mind, cousin?” he said, his voice cold.
“Do I mind what?” she said, nonplussed.
“Thinking quieter,” Jem growled. “Or maybe just fucking the hell off?”
“Hey.” Cowboy looked up, sharp. His normally good-humored face hardened, losing every speck of friendliness, and reminding Angel he’d been in a federal penitentiary when Black found him, and not for shoplifting. “Watch your fucking mouth… cousin. You talk to her like that again, and you and me are gonna have a goddamned problem.”
Jem’s long jaw clenched.
Then, looking between Cowboy and Angel, he nodded, once.
“I apologize,” he said, his voice subdued.
After another bare pause, he gave Angel a direct look.
“You’re right,” he said, blunt. “I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m worried. I’m grieving. I’m a lot of fucking things right now. I know you don’t mean anything by it, but having you stand right there and think all of them back at me isn’t helping.”
That time, Angel felt her own face warm.
“Sorry,” she said.
He shook his head, again once, in that seer-like way.
“Not your fault,” he said.
Pointing at a door in the wall of the conference room, not the glass one back to the bullpen full of cubicles but a metal one that led to storage, he lowered his voice.
“You know if they’ve got weapons in there? Other equipment?”
Cowboy followed his pointing finger, then frowned.
“What’re you looking for?”
“A GPS tracker,” Jem said at once. “Preferably a tagger.” He held out his hands until they were about a yard apart, which only made Angel frown since she didn’t quite understand the gesture. “A rifle, if there is one. Hell, I’ll take a bow and a
rrow. Any kind of propulsion system would be preferable. If not, something I can inject, but that’s a last resort.”
Cowboy frowned, glancing at Angel.
She folded her arms, quirking an eyebrow back at him.
Cowboy wasn’t the type to ask questions though, not without good reason.
“He’s got an RFID chipper in there,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. He made a gun out of his forefinger and thumb. “More like a nail gun though, not exactly a rifle. I don’t know about any propulsion system for that kind of thing, but knowing Black, he might have something like that back there, too. If he doesn’t, you might be able to rig something up, or ask the lab folks to do it, depending on how soon you need it.”
“Just show me what you have,” Jem said.
Angel and Cowboy just looked at him.
Jem seemed to feel their stares.
Glancing at Angel, then back to Cowboy, he frowned, then took a deep breath, seemingly with an effort.
“…If you don’t mind,” he added, his voice subdued.
Cowboy shook his head, but didn’t hide the puzzled frown that came to his lips.
“It’s no trouble, brother,” he said. “Come with me.”
They were just starting to walk towards the metal door, when the glass door, the one leading to the bullpens at Angel’s left, opened instead.
Black strode through the opening with wet, freshly-showered hair, a black T-shirt, black dress pants, and black leather shoes. She smelled him before he even got halfway to where he stood, and nearly smiled at the scent of shampoo and soap that filled the room. He wasn’t quite scowling, but he looked preoccupied.
“All right,” he said. “I’m here.”
“Time for a parade,” Angel murmured.
Black quirked an eyebrow at her, but smiled, as if in spite of himself.
He looked at Jem and Cowboy then, who’d been part of the way to the metal door. Apparently deciding to not ask whatever that was about, Black clicked under his breath, then looked back at Angel, his strangely perfect lips flattening into a determined look.
“Get Dex in here, would you? And whoever else from the main team who’s still up here. We should talk. Then I want everyone who’s not specifically on-shift to go to bed.” His lips curled in the faintest of scowls. “I have a feeling we’re going to need the sleep.”
“What’s the topic?” Jem said, walking back to Angel’s side of the table and focusing his pale green eyes on Black. “Or are we allowed to know that?”
Black aimed his gold eyes at the older seer.
“You’re going to stow that shit now, brother,” Black growled. “I don’t know what the fuck kind of command structure you’re used to, but I get tired of being second-guessed, fast.” Pausing at Jem’s silence, he added, “I want to talk about the vampires. And about Nick. There’s not much we can do to influence Charles, not directly anyway, but we need to talk about whether it still makes sense to go for an alliance… and what kinds of terms we should ask for.”
Jem’s eyes grew puzzled.
He glanced at Angel, then at Cowboy, then back at Black.
“For example?” he said.
Angel couldn’t help noticing Jem’s voice was considerably more deferential that time.
Black exhaled, clearly noticing it, too. Combing his fingers through his damp hair, he exhaled again, making a vague, graceful gesture with one hand.
“Like, should we stipulate Nick can’t be anywhere near this,” Black grunted. “Do we try to find ways to make it safe for our people to be around them… and where do we draw the fucking line, before they can cross it.”
Scowling a little, Black leaned his palms on the table.
His gaze turned inward as he shook his head.
“I don’t want to ally with the fuckers at all,” he growled. “I know Miri isn’t crazy about the idea, either. But truthfully, we don’t have a lot of choice.”
Glancing at Angel, he gave her a once-over before scowling harder.
Angel studied his face, folding her arms.
“Are you thinking about killing Nick?” she said, pointed. “Taking away their leverage?”
Black exhaled in open exasperation that time.
“Of course I’m thinking about killing Nick,” he growled. “For a lot of fucking reasons. And not only because him continuing to be alive, and a vampire, poses a serious fucking danger to me and my wife.” Straightening up from the table, he met Angel’s scowl defiantly, his gold eyes unflinching as they met hers. “Jesus, Angel. Do you really want to see Nick live like this? Even apart from what he did to Kiko… and what he tried to do to Miri… do you think the old Nick would have wanted this?”
“We don’t know what he’ll even be yet,” Jem said, his voice warning. “Unless you think they’re lying, the vampires said he’ll change. They said he’ll become different once his emotions come back.”
Black gave him an openly skeptical look. “Because all the other vampires we’ve encountered are such sweet, fluffy bunnies?”
Jem’s expression hardened. “Are you being serious right now? You’re seriously thinking about killing him? Behind your wife’s back?”
“Not behind her back,” Black growled. “Jesus fucking christ… I want to discuss it. I want to bring whatever we discuss to her, assuming the rest of us can come to some kind of agreement. I’d rather give her a purely logic-based argument to assess, since she can’t be expected to look at this objectively.”
“And you can?” Angel muttered, biting her lip.
Without looking away from Jem, Black jerked his head in Angel’s direction. “Do you really think, if I was trying to pull something behind my wife’s back, I’d do it with her goddamned best friend in the room?”
“Her best friend who is human,” Jem said coldly, folding his arms.
Black grunted humorlessly, shaking his head.
He didn’t bother to answer the other’s implied accusation.
He only looked at Angel. “You open to talking about this at least, Ange?”
“Talking about it?” Angel grunted, folding her arms. “Sure. I’ll talk about whatever you want, Black. I should tell you though, I’m with Jem on this. I don’t think we should do anything with Nick until we have some idea of what he’ll be like when he gets through this ‘newborn’ thing or whatever.”
Black’s frown deepened, but he only nodded.
“Why wouldn’t you want to wait for that?” Cowboy said, when Black didn’t speak. “He could be an ally for us, not only Brick. Isn’t it worth putting any action against him on hold, until we find that out?”
“For how long?” Black gave him a hard look. “Months? Years? We may not have that long, brother.”
“There’s the Brick issue, too,” Angel reminded him. “Who takes Brick’s place if he dies? And what makes you think that vampire would work with you in the first place, versus trying to exterminate every seer he encounters?” She paused, then made her voice pointed. “What if it’s Dorian, Black? Dorian… after you killed his vampire king and bff?”
Black shook his head, once. “Any plan that takes out Brick would have to take out Dorian, too.”
When they all just stood there, staring at him, Black’s frown returned.
“Well?” he grunted. “Are we having this conversation now? The four of us? Just so we can have it again with everyone else? Or do you want to call the people I fucking asked you to call so we can hash it out for real?”
Angel rolled her eyes, but yanked her phone out of her back pocket, where she’d shoved it. Cowboy waved her off, pointing to where he already had his phone against his ear.
“Dex is rounding people up now,” he told her, his voice quiet.
Angel nodded, then glanced at Black. “Pissy, pissy,” she muttered under her breath. “I thought getting laid would calm you down.”
Black glared at her for real. “Not when there are at least two people currently hunting my wife. Both of them fucking psycho
paths… with supernatural powers. One of whom she’s still got a damned soft spot for and won’t shoot.”
“Where is she?” Jem said. “Your wife?”
Black’s eyes jerked to him.
“Your wife,” Jem repeated, once Black was looking at him. “Miriam. Where is she right now? Why isn’t she part of this?”
“She’s fucking asleep,” Black growled. “I hope she is, anyway––”
“Alone?”
Black gave him an even harder look.
After a pause, he clicked at the green-eyed seer, but answered in a flat voice.
“I’ve got Wendall, Cross and Avers on the door,” he said. “They’ve got swords, tranq guns loaded with those anti-vamp drugs, and assault rifles. The suite’s got motion detectors on the windows, the balcony and the front door. I’ve got that whole floor restricted, and security is covering the elevators downstairs.”
Folding his arms, he added,
“I also asked Yarli to put at least four seers on her, and on her guard detail. There are cameras in every room but the bathroom and the bedroom, and I’ll probably install them in both places tomorrow.” His voice dropped to a growl as he glared at Jem. “You and the rest of the depraved assholes on my security detail will just have to deal with watching me fuck my wife.”
Jem nodded.
Angel saw the seer’s expression visibly relax.
Cowboy set down his phone. “Dex is on his way. He’s bringing Luce, A.J., Javier, Kiessa, Zairei, Yarli, Manny, Frank, Easton, Lawless, Lex, Michelle. A few others, too.”
“Hasn’t anyone gone to fucking bed yet?” Black grumbled.
“You want him to thin the list?” Cowboy offered. “I could call him back.”
“No.” Black shook his head, exhaling. “If they’re here, they might as well get their say. If I’m going to get a bunch of damned people yelling at me and telling me I’m a monster, I’d rather get it over with all at once––”
“You really want to kill Nick?” Angel blurted.
The reality of his words was sinking in now, even as she stared at his handsome face.
When he didn’t look over, or answer, she felt her throat tighten.
TO BLACK WITH LOVE: Quentin Black Mystery #10 Page 39