“Pull yourself together, Cali. It’s warm. You’re alive.” She took in a deep breath. “Wake up Dustin. Go to work. Suck it up, buttercup.”
Marching to her kitchen, she put a smile on her face. It was forced at first, but as her coffee brewed, it took less effort.
Dustin stirred at the smell of coffee and retreated to the shower. She filled a travel mug for each and sat them by her purse on the end table, knocking over the frame sitting there. In the picture, she and Lexi hugged in golden graduation gowns while holding up their high school diplomas.
The fall had broken the glass; a small spider web-like break had formed right over Lexi. The cracks stopped at the edges of Lexi’s face but the rest of the glass in the frame was fine. Cali’s stomach turned as she stared at the menacing crack. A tiny prick of pain alerted her to the fact that she’d been running her finger across Lexi’s face, over the broken glass.
“Serves your dumb-ass right,” she scolded herself.
Sticking her finger in her mouth, she threw the shards into the trash. She looked down at the glassless picture and a drop of blood from her finger landed on Lexi’s face.
Cali dropped the picture and kicked it under the end table. It reminded her too much of her dream.
She wandered into the bathroom trying to make sense of her thoughts. Dustin jumped when she pulled back the shower curtain.
“Hey,” she started but wasn’t sure what to say.
He waited until the shampoo ran into his eyes. “Yeah?”
She couldn’t miss work. She’d been late the day before for Lexi’s birthday, and the week before she’d only worked the one day. Still, she couldn’t go to work. Not yet.
“Are you okay?” he asked after rinsing his hair.
“Yeah. Umm, fine. I just have to...” She thought for a second. “I’m going to run an errand before I go in. Can I be late?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever you need. You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry. I just—” Cali sighed. Much as she tried, her voice still shook. “I’ll be there before the shoot, I just need a little time.”
“No problem.”
“Thanks, Dustin.” Cali closed the curtain and walked away before she changed her mind.
She got in her car and drove to visit Lexi, leaving the picture on the floor.
Chapter Six
Alexia’s dream started the same as the last. First her car accident, then she stood in a beautiful field dotted with tall trees. However, this time the man didn’t walk behind the tree.
“Why don’t you remember me?” he asked, his voice sad. He reached for her, but she pulled away.
“Why do I keep dreaming about you?” Alexia waited, but he didn’t answer. “It was like I went back in time. A couple times and you were there. It was—was it you?”
“It was me.”
“Were we in the past?”
“Yes.” He took a step toward her, but she retreated.
“How was I in the past?”
“It’s your past. You’re allowed to go there,” he answered as if his words made sense.
“My past?”
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“Why do you keep asking that?”
“Do you?”
Shaking her head woke her up.
The next night, the crunching of the glass was more intense. The lightning was brighter. Her pain was real. When the man and woman showed up, Alexia was prepared.
“Who are you?” she asked even before the yellow cloud had fully dissipated.
“A friend.”
“Friend?” Alexia shouted. “Friends don’t just show up in my bedroom and antagonize me. I don’t know you.” Once the words left her lips, she doubted them. “Do I?”
“Does this look like your bedroom?”
She ignored the question. “You’re Leland?”
“I am.” As he spoke, the glow that emanated from his body dimmed. She could see his face clearly for the first time.
Something in her mind clicked into place.
“Like, the Leland I just met the other day at Tom’s?”
He smiled. She blinked and woke in her bedroom.
The bright sun squinted through her curtains. Something inside gnawed at her as if she were skipping an appointment or forgetting a promise.
Restless, she got out of bed and dressed. She wandered into her kitchen hoping whatever she was forgetting would resurface. No such luck. She scanned her calendar. Nothing there.
She picked the jewelry box up off the kitchen table and opened it to re-examine the necklace. She still hadn’t talked to Cali. She plucked the pendant from the box and slipped it around her neck right next to the old one. Again, the new one felt so warm.
The sun streamed in the windows and Alexia wandered out the front door hoping the air would clear her mind. The tall tree in her front yard cast a long shadow over the yard and the house. Alexia followed it with her eyes and stared for a while at the yellow siding of her home.
She couldn’t remember when she’d moved in. After her accident, sure, but she couldn’t remember moving into the house. None of the furniture inside had been hers before she’d lived here, but she didn’t remember buying it. She wasn’t even sure if she paid rent or owned the house.
Cali and she had lived together after high school. They didn’t anymore and Alexia had no idea when or why it had changed. She and Cali had gone to Jaydee College together, and Alexia had stopped going to class. She wasn’t even sure how long ago that had been.
From behind her, a familiar voice called. “Alexia?”
She jumped with a yelp.
Leland glided toward her. The memory of the dream the night before slammed into her.
“What the hell?”
“Do you know who I am?”
“How could I forget? You won’t leave me alone.”
He exhaled and almost smiled. “You remember?” His voice was soft.
“I dreamt about you. You—you’re Leland. From work, I guess. And...”
“And?”
“And what? Who are you? Why are you in my front yard?”
“For you,” Leland answered.
The ground beneath her rocked with waves as the world transformed into the deck of a ship. Looking down, she saw she was wearing an old-fashioned dress. The emerald green fabric shimmered slightly in the moonlight. The wide sleeves almost covered her hands, and yards of fabric pooled at her feet. Alexia joined someone in her head. The feeling was becoming all too familiar. She didn’t even try to fight the other mind, just relinquished control to young Annette.
“For you,” a man named Levi whispered in her ear as he clasped a necklace around her neck. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Annette pecked her husband of less than a month on the cheek as he wrapped his long arms around her and they leaned on the railings of the SS Princess Alice.
“Rosherville Gardens was beautiful,” he said. “Almost as beautiful as you.”
Annette smiled.
The Princess Alice turned and another ship, the Bywell Castle, came into view on the starboard side. The sky flashed yellow, turning the Bywell Castle saffron. It happened so quickly. The ships hit. With a horrendous crash, the timbers shuddered and screamed, and the Princess Alice was torn in two.
Screams and the sound of the ship being torn apart filled the air. Thrashing and screaming bodies plunged into the freezing water of the River Thames. Annette gasped as water penetrated her heavy dress and instantly chilled her. The current whisked her away from her husband.
Annette cried out for help but her voice was swallowed by the cacophony of sounds around her. The current pulled her underwater. Somebody grabbed Annette’s arm and, with a massive effort, pulled her back up. It was Levi.
“Wait! Where is—?” Through Annette’s frantic thoughts, Alexia realized there was a sister that she hadn’t seen before the ship went down. Cali popped into Alexia’s mind, but she wasn’t sure why. The s
ister was named Celia and looked nothing like Cali.
And yet…
“I don’t know.” He scanned the thrashing bodies.
She spotted a familiar dress to her left and cried out to him.
They swam toward the blue fabric that glittered under the bright moon. The dress clung to a body floating face down. Turning her over, Annette saw blood pouring from Celia’s head, where something big had hit her. Annette let out a sob for her fifteen-year-old sister and Alexia felt her anguish.
“We have to get out of the water.” His voice was labored and choppy as he tried to pull her away from the crowd. They struggled toward the North Woolwich Pier, but Annette didn’t know how to swim.
Blood bloomed in the water around them and Annette realized his leg was massively injured. A falling spar had cut a nasty gash.
The couple pulled themselves forward. The pier was within sight, but they never got closer.
“Levi!” Her voice was weak.
“Keep going!” He spit out water.
With her water-logged dress and inability to swim, they weren’t making any progress. The water swirled a dark yellow below her feet and sucked her down. He tried again and again to pull her up. She knew it was too late. Their time was at an end.
Levi looked at her as she struggled to keep her head above water. His eyes flashed blue. Annette didn’t notice, but Alexia did.
A shudder and a bright light brought Alexia back to herself. Coughing, Alexia was relieved no water came up and the warm sun outside heated her cold skin.
***
For Cali, the workday had been happily uneventful. She and Dustin had taken great pictures of a baby and his proud new parents. There was no blood rain. Lexi didn’t show up. Just a new mom and dad with their chubby, baby boy.
“I’m really sorry I was late this morning,” Cali said as the two of them sat at their computers across from each other.
He looked up from his monitor. “You don’t have to apologize. If you need time, take time.”
“I just don’t want you to think that...” Cali trailed off.
“What?”
Cali took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to think that because we are dating, I’m just blowing off work or trying to take advantage of you.”
Dustin turned his monitor to the side so he didn’t have to look over it. “Cali, you would have to do a lot more than call in late once every few years before I started to think you were taking advantage of me.”
Cali nodded. “Okay. I just—I wanted to make sure you knew.”
Dustin’s lips pulled up in a half-smile. “If you feel so bad about it, I could always just make the books part of your actual job.”
Cali laughed. “You mean it’s not already?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, I guess it is.”
“Does that mean I get a raise? You know, since now it’s official.” Cali couldn’t help but worry that while the conversation with Dustin was lighthearted. At any moment blood would start running down the walls, and Cali would be trapped or running for her life. Her dreams were starting to wear her down, but she was afraid to talk to anyone about them.
“I guess if you’re in charge of the books, you may as well be in charge of payroll. And if you’re in charge of payroll, you can approve your raise,” Dustin said smugly.
“Oh goody.” Cali clapped her hands.
The rest of the day passed fairly quickly. Dustin and Cali edited at their computers for most of the day. Mostly small color corrections. The day had been beautiful and the pictures reflected that.
“Do you wanna come over tonight?” Dustin asked as she stood to stretch.
“It’s Friday.”
“Stacy?”
Cali nodded.
“You girls doing anything fun?”
Cali straightened, smirking. “Now why would I tell you that? What if it’s top secret?” She paused. “No. It’s best I don’t tell you. Plausible deniability and all that.”
He laughed as they walked out the door. The setting sun cast long shadows across the parking lot.
Dustin pushed Cali’s hair from her face and cradled her cheek as he kissed her. All her worry floated away as she leaned into him. There was only her and Dustin. Nothing else. He pulled away too abruptly and smiled.
“Tomorrow?” she asked.
He nodded as he opened her car door. “Definitely.”
He got into his car as she drove away and she waved goodbye again.
Stacy was waiting in her driveway when she pulled up. Her red halter sparkled in the sun.
“Hey, missy,” she said when Cali opened her door.
“Hey you.”
Cali nodded towards the house, inviting Stacy in.
She studied Cali. “What did you do?”
“What?”
She stopped following and shook her head. “What’d you do?”
“Dammit Stacy! How do you always know?”
“Because I know you. Spill.”
Cali rolled her head across her shoulders. “I went to see Lexi before work.”
“Cali Fox.” Stacy’s voice softened. “You—”
She cut Stacy off. “When’s the last time you saw her?”
“We’re not talking about me right now. It’s been a long time but she’s…It isn’t easy.” She whisked a tear from under her eye so quickly Cali almost missed it. Her blinding smile was back across her face, but Cali could see the tightness in it.
Nodding, she smiled half-heartedly. “I have to change before we go. How’s Jeremy?”
Stacy warmed at the mention of her longtime boyfriend. Dressing quickly while Stacy chatted distracted and eased her like only an old friend could.
By the time they left, Cali was genuinely excited to be out. Girls night was exactly what she needed.
Chapter Seven
Alexia sat in the passenger seat of her old blue car and watched as her copy drove. She studied the past version of herself. The purple hair, the old work shirt, the lack of knowing what was to come. Sighing, the real Alexia looked away.
“I don’t want to take a ride,” Alexia answered the song on the radio as it sang its upbeat, and still somehow depressing, words to her. At that moment, she was in no mood to hear it. Her past-self shook as she ground through the gears. She’d loved the song.
Fidgeting with her fingernails, she wished she was whisked away to the more distant past instead. The past-lives were new and unexpected. Nothing about the car accident was a surprise. In seconds, the lightning would strike. Alexia waved her hand at the window and, on cue, the lightning raced for the tree that would slam into the car.
The music stopped.
“What?” She looked at the other version of herself. She was frozen. Mouth agape, her purple hair lit up in the light outside. Outside, nothing was moving. Rain paused, mid-fall. “What?” she repeated.
She reached for the door handle. It opened. It never had before. She hesitated, unsure of what to do.
“Alexia?” A voice, followed by footsteps, drew her attention toward the back of the car.
“Leland?” She stepped out. She’d escaped the car before the accident for the first time since the dreams started.
He reached for her and a burst of light swarmed around her as he pulled her close. As her body touched his, she felt a pulsing need to keep touching him. She started to spin, like she was dancing. Then, she was dancing. Leland led her through a complicated dance in the street, but they didn’t get far before the street bent and shifted until it was no longer a road.
With every twist, she became someone else. Every turn put her into a new body and that other person danced while Alexia watched from borrowed eyes. Another spin, another body. She was in a long, silk, patterned dress, and in another turn, the dress got heavy and wide. Some outfits were tight and confining, some were comfortable. Sometimes her hair was long and loose, others it was pinned up, and sometimes she wore hats or scarves on her head. She spun through changing landscapes with musi
c that shifted with each outfit.
As Leland spun her, his appearance changed as well. He was Leland, then he changed into a man with dark-brown skin and black curly hair. The next move, he was tan with hazel eyes. He turned her in his arms, and when she next saw his face, his skin was pale with unruly red hair. The man next to her changed each time her own body did. One spin, he became the man she’d ridden with from the Scythian Tribe. She started spinning faster, and she could focus on less and less of her surroundings or her clothing.
She spun and lost his hand. As he fell away, his appearance morphed back to just Leland suit. As she fell, she realized they had all been Leland. Just as each body she became had been her.
“Alexia! No!” Leland’s words echoed all around her. “Please! Remember...” His words trailed off.
As soon as she dropped his hand, she stumbled back into the open door of the car. The car started moving again as soon as she fell into the seat. The lightning rocketed to the ground, the car spun, the car ground to a halt, and Alexia sat up in her bed.
She got up and went through her morning routine, but never really relaxed. Dizzy and unfocused, she took an hour to get dressed. Driving without even remembering getting into the car, she parked in the lot at Tom’s Diner, unsure of when her shift started, or if she was scheduled at all. A moment later, she was standing in front of a table in the dining room handing a round, red-faced man a salad. She walked away and looked at the clock. It was late in the day.
“I thought you were going on break,” Stacy said as Alexia passed.
Nodding, she wandered to the break room. Flopping into the shiny red pleather booth she laid her face on the table with her arms covering her eyes and took a deep breath. The muffled voices from around the corner in the kitchen and the smell of stale cigarettes drifting in from the outside door calmed Alexia with their familiarity.
“You okay?”
Alexia looked up and Leland was sitting across the booth from her. She hadn’t noticed him.
Some distant memory rattled in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t reach it. She stared at him until he started to look uncomfortable and broke eye contact. She finally registered his question and felt her face flush with heat. She nodded.
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