I look up into Julian's tortured eyes and I bring my lips to his in a desperate kiss, a thank you for coming to my rescue. I know it's the last thing I should be thinking about right now but it's an escape, an escape from everything around me. I know I'll have questions to answer but right now I just want to be safe in his strong arms.
I pull myself away from his mouth and tuck my head under his chin, still sobbing. “Shhh baby, I have you. You're going to be okay. He can't hurt you. He can't hurt anyone. He's going away for a long time.”
“Thank you.” Unfolding myself from his shelter, I look over to see my brothers outside speaking to the cops. I know it's their way of giving me a few minutes with Julian but I need to get this over with. I need to talk to them. Tell them what I know about the cab driver, about Eric's wife and possibly her whole family. I don't know if it was his craziness talking or he really did those things he said. “I need to go talk to them,” I whisper.
“Of course,” he says while standing me up and keeping my caged in his arms. “I need to hold you. Is that alright?” I nod my head, afraid to speak again once I was able to stop crying. I do know one thing for sure, I'm not going to try to control these feelings I have for him anymore. If I wouldn't have come up with an excuse not to see him after work things might have happened a little differently this afternoon.
My imagination wanders to Julian being at my building picking me up instead of the nightmare that awaited me.
“Tanya, may I have a few words with you? I'm Officer Hastings. I just need a few minutes of your time. Would you mind coming down to the station and filing a statement with us?” he asks.
“I don't mind as long as Julian can come with me.”
“That's not a problem Miss Mitchell. Your brothers can come as well if you want.”
“Yes please.”
There are six cruisers sitting in the parking lot and what seems like hundreds of people standing around in groups to see what all the commotion is. I have no idea what time it is but it must be late. The sun has already set and the lights from the cars illuminate everything around us in a motley of red, white and blue, blinding me momentarily before putting my head down to climb into the back seat of one of the cars next to Julian. I watch as Frank climbs into George's passenger seat and suddenly I'm flying away, flying down the busy streets of Boston, hopefully leaving the diseased memories of my abduction behind me.
deliverance
Julian
I'm sitting in the police station with Tanya beside me, clutching at my hand. She's squeezing me so hard that I feel like my hand's going to break. I couldn't give a shit though. If it's what she needs to do to get through this, so be it.
I still can't believe someone came running into that motel office to track us down.
The older man came into the office and told us that he thought we looked lost and after deliberating for a few minutes remembered seeing a man walking down the street with what looked like an unconscious woman in his arms. He said he thought we might have been looking for her and that he was worried but didn't want to call the cops. Something about not wanting to look like a rat in the neighborhood when the cops showed up at his door asking questions. I thanked him with five crisp hundred dollar bills and assured him that he wouldn't be mentioned.
Now as I sit here and listen to what Tanya had to endure, even though from my calculations she was passed out for most of it, makes me want to find out where they're keeping that lowlife piece of shit and kill him with my own two hands.
I didn't miss the cameras that were at the motel or the ones waiting outside the station when we arrived.
Honestly all I want is for the questioning to be over so I can take Tanya home, feed her and hold her while she sleeps. I will do everything in my power to make sure she knows she's safe. She will always be safe with me. I still haven't had my talk with Frank but I think after today my intentions with his sister are more than clear. I was ready to barge into that room with my own two fists as my only weapons but Frank made me rethink that idea and wait for the cops to get there.
George showed up only a few minutes before the police and we filled him in the best we could as we paced in the small stuffy office. The little old lady at the desk sat, chain smoking her cigarettes, filling the space with stale smoke. We would have waited outside but the police said it would be safer if we stayed inside just in case the gunman came out and became suspicious.
Why hadn't I thought of her ex? She hadn't painted him as a psychotic madman. She loved him once. How bad could he be right?
As hard as I try to block out the details of the sordid ordeal, I can't. She tells the officer taking her statement about her fast thinking to fool him into thinking she had feelings for him and a tight knot twists in my stomach about what she must have been thinking while it was all going on. I'm making it my new life mission to make sure she always feels safe. Always feels protected. I know her father and brothers have been the ones to fill that role in her life but from this day forward that person will be me.
The one thing stopping it from being a reality is our careers. Mine takes me away multiple times, although short periods of time, for months out of the year. The only solution would be for her to come with me. Is that possible?
“Let's get out of here,” Tanya says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“All done?” I ask and she nods. The dark circles under her eyes show pure exhaustion and I know she needs sleep but she needs food too. “I'm taking you to my place tonight. I need to know you're alright. I already told Frank and George. As soon as you're up to it you can call your parents. Your brothers said they would fill them in with what's going on.”
“Thank you. I don't want to sleep alone.”
“And you won't. Come on; let's grab some food on the way home. I'm starving. Then we can go to sleep. I changed my gym spot to later in the day and George said he'd call work to tell them you wouldn't be in for a few days.” I tell her as we walk out of the building.
“I have to work.” She stops in her tracks and turns to face me. “I'm not letting this beat me. If I stop living then he wins.”
“Oh baby, he's not winning anything other than a very long jail sentence. You need to rest. That had to be pretty traumatizing for you. I'm not saying to quit living. Just take a few days.” Again she just nods in defeat. I agree she can't put her life on hold but it's not healthy if she pretends as if it never happened either.
“Where did you go back there?” she asks and I arch a single eyebrow in question. “At the station, you looked a million miles away.”
“I was trying to imagine what you must have been thinking about through it all. How you managed. You don't know how happy I was to see you unharmed.”
“I don't know what happened to him. He never showed any signs of being psychotic when I was with him,” she tells me. “Shit I don't even know how he knew when I was leaving work or that I was taking a cab. He must have been following me. The cop I gave my statement to said they were going to do a sweep of my office and parents house. Also I'm going to testify in court. They're going to let me know when they have a date set for the trial.”
I don't know what to say to any of it so the rest of the way to my house is ridden in silence. I want to go with her to the trial but don't want to overstep. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now I just want to get her home and hold her.
Surprisingly she's doing a hell of a lot better than I thought she would be or even should be. I wonder how long it will take for the dam to break. I know it's inevitable; it's just a matter of time. She's most likely still in shock. I know I would be if I witnessed someone being shot. She hasn't talked about it and I won't push her. When she's ready to talk about it she will.
“Thank you,” she says, taking me from my inner thoughts.
“For what?”
“For being here for me, you don't need to be, so thank you.”
“Do you not feel it? This thing between us. I really want to g
et to know you better. I've never been this close to feeling anything for anyone before and that's saying a lot. I want to be here to help you. I need to. Does that make sense?” I look over to her sitting in the passenger seat of my car, which was brought to me by Frank after I handed him the keys and explained to him where it was parked. It's a good thing one of us had a car at the scene. George was more than happy to bring him to grab my wheels.
She reaches over the shifter and grasps my hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze. “Yeah, I feel it too and it scares me. I thought I had everything I wanted with Eric. How wrong was I? How could I have missed the signs? They had to have been there. But this, this thing between us is different. Stronger almost and that scares me more then I'd like to admit.” She pulls our hands to her lap, rubbing circles with her thumb across the taut skin that covers my palm.
She continues, “I think I thought he was safe, my first boyfriend that actually showed me any attention. The few boyfriends I had in high school were asshole jocks.” I look over to her again, briefly taking my eyes off the road and watch her as the corner of her mouth lifts slightly. “No offense.”
I return her smile. “None taken, sweetheart. I'm a grown man. I may be a jock but an asshole I am not.”
“No, you are definitely not. You're sweet and thoughtful and I'm really glad I met you.” She moves our hands to my lap and leans the distance to rest her head on my shoulder in the tight confines of the car.
“So am I Tanya. So am I.”
I start to pull off of the road when she protests. “Do you have anything to eat at home? I really don't want to stop. I just want to get to your place, take a nice hot bath and let you hold me.” She tilts her head up towards me and places the sweetest damn kiss on the corner of my mouth and I know I'm screwed. I'll never be able to deny this girl anything.
“Anything you need baby, anything at all.”
She stays snuggled to my side for the rest of the ride to my house and I blow out a long breath when I finally pull in the garage and cut the engine.
“Let's get you inside and in the tub. I'll find us something to eat while you soak.”
“Don't you want to join me?” She bats her pretty little eyes at me and it pulls at something deep in my chest, constricting like a python trapping its prey in its clutches.
“Not this time baby. You need to relax.” How she can even think about being intimate I have no idea. I don't want to push her. Shit, after what I witnessed in that hotel room, I'm still shaken. She's processing this way better than I ever could. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and I don't want to be the cause of it.
I go around the car and open her door, helping her out and she clutches to me as we enter the house.
After leading her to my bathroom, I leave her to undress while I start the water, adjusting the temperature so it's not too hot.
When I turn around I have to suck in a sharp breath at the sight of her. Red welts that I hadn't noticed before decorate her wrists in an angry reminder of what she's been through. It takes all of my control to not close the distance between us and take her in my arms and make her forget about it all. I know it's not that simple so I turn on my heel and call over my shoulder that I'm going to find us some food.
Returning back to the bathroom I stop short in the doorway and drink in the sight of her. Absolute perfection, her head is tilted back, eyes closed as she lies still in the bath. The top swells of her breasts float like beacons calling to me on the surface of the water. I could stand here forever watching her but she has needs so I slowly make my way to her side.
Pushing a few stray strands of her golden hair, darkened by wetness that have settled across her forehead and over her eyes back to their place on the top of head, she slowly opens her eyes and treats me with a smile so bright it knocks my breath right out of my lungs. How did I get so fucking lucky to have this angel come into my life?
“Are you ready for some food? I have the fixings for salad and some grilled chicken left over. Does that sound okay?”
Her smile never falters as she answers me, “That sounds delicious. Thank you.”
She stands from the tub, shamelessly naked in front of me and I hurry to get a towel. I don't know how long my control will last with her standing in front of me gloriously wet and glistening, droplets of water cascading down her perfectly sculpted body.
Once I have her covered up enough to stunt my growing erection, she steps out of the tub and I reach in to drain the water and turn to see her unabashedly drying herself. Bending over to dry her calves, I have to look away. She's killing me here. I'm really trying to do the right thing. I swear she's trying to taunt me on purpose.
Walking out of the bathroom, I don't look back at her. I don't want to seem like a dick or that I'm not interested. She's been through something dramatic and if I took advantage of her now I'd be no better than a dog. I just need her to understand my reasoning if she tries to push.
Shortly after leaving her, she joins me in the kitchen and shimmies her ass up onto one of the counters. She's wearing the long jersey I left for her and her legs are smooth and bare, dangling from the edge. She looks so young and carefree in this moment that you would think that nothing happened today.
I stand and make my way to her, wedging myself between her thighs as I watch her eat. The way she places the fork into her mouth, torment on my already cracking resolve. What can I say? I'm a man and I have the sexiest woman alive looking oh so tempting in one of my shirts and not much else sitting here in my kitchen. I suddenly want to taste her more than my discarded salad on the table but my responsible side kicks in, making my thoughts reign in. I run my hands up her thighs and give her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Feeling better?” I ask and walk back to table, sitting down in my earlier occupied chair and finishing my meal.
She nods her head, mouth full of the delicious salad and smiles over at me from her perch. “I am. I'm also ready for bed. You ready to join me and protect me in your big, sexy, muscular arms?” She winks at me and hops off the counter.
She places her bowl in the dishwasher after rinsing it off. She saunters over to the table and back to the sink to do the same with mine. “You didn't have to do that. I would have gotten it,” I tell her.
“I wanted to. Now take me to bed and make me feel a whole lot better.” She walks ahead of me shucking off the shirt covering her and flings it back at me.
I am in so much trouble. There is no fucking way I'm going to be able to control myself but I'm sure as hell going to try. I'm just so damn happy that she's safe and spending the night in my arms. That's all I need. Now what I really want is something else all together.
Give me shelter
Tanya
Lying in Julian's arms makes me feel safer than I've ever felt, the warmth of his skin against my back comforting me more than he'll ever know. I want more of his touch but he's being hesitant.
Snuggling my ass tighter against his groin, I hear a tortured groan escape his lips. He's stroking my hair as it lays limp across the pillow between us.
I need him to help me forget today. Need him to erase the past five hours, like they never happened. Closing my eyes, I can see the panic stricken expression of the cab driver in the rearview mirror. I need distraction and I can think of no better way.
Turning over to face him I run my hand along his strong arm that's draped over me, the same muscular limb that's trying not to linger in certain areas that will lead me on. I have slightly different plans. I lean into his neck and gently kiss the straining tendons that lay beneath his musky smelling skin. Mmm, I love his smell. It ignites things inside me that I don't think have ever been awoken, a desperate need to be claimed. In the past I could take or leave sex but with Julian, I need it. Have to have it. Never have enough.
His hand starts to pull back, retreating with the rest of his body and I sigh in frustration. “Please Julian? I need you to make me forget his touch. Just for tonight I want to forget abo
ut today. Tomorrow I'm sure it will all hit me again. With all the questions from my friends and family. I won't be able to escape it. Tonight I just want to forget,” I plead with him and earn another groan from his mouth, the mouth that I want to feel all over my body.
“I'm trying to be good here Tanya. You're not helping.” His gorgeous sad eyes stare back into mine and he brings his hand up to my face, stroking from my chin to my forehead, like a whisper from a feather and I melt. I can't take no for an answer. I won't.
“Make love to me Julian. Make me forget. Just...., please? I need to forget.”
He doesn't give me a verbal answer. Instead, pulls me closer to him until I can feel his hardness against my stomach, digging into me so deep I can feel it in my soul. I don't care what I thought about our careers before. His touch is the only one that I want. The only one I'll ever need.
His mouth comes crashing into mine and he kisses me sweetly before running his tongue over the seam of my lips and I open for him, gracefully, slowly, softly parting, letting his breath linger with mine. This is the single most passionate kiss I have ever experienced, timid almost as if I'm going to break like a fragile porcelain doll tumbling from a shelf high above the ground. Even if I was, I don't have a doubt in my mind that this man in my arms would be able to pick up the pieces and put me back together.
Reaching into his boxers, I grab his stiffness in a tight fist and stroke him from base to tip a few times before he breaks the kiss.
Pulling away he asks, “Are you sure? I don't want to push you too far after what happened today.”
I continue to stroke, gently at first and then harder, faster and take his mouth with mine again in answer.
He rolls himself under me on the bed and I straddle his chest. The only material separating us is my thin silk panties and I rise to remove the barrier.
Fighting Control (Bay State Series Book 3) Page 9