Christmas With A Mountain Man (Rich & Rugged: A Hawkins Brothers Romance Book 5)

by Ellie Hall

  When their mother left and Dad died, everyone was wrapped up in their own experience. Meanwhile, he was still young, lost, angry. No one held out a hand to help him up. No one asked if he was okay. That was because none of them were. He couldn’t risk telling Frankie the truth. That he still wasn’t okay. Never would be. He wasn’t worth loving. He was dangerous. Terrible.

  “Rocky?” As though from afar, her voice filtered into his thoughts. A hand landed on his arm. “Rocky? Hey, where’d you go?” she asked softly. Concern brushed her brows together.

  He met her dark eyes. When she looked at him, they were filled with light. Love. Love that he didn’t deserve. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked.

  He was quiet a long moment.

  She waited patiently but persistently, not letting him avoid her gaze.

  “Those three words. Those are words I never heard until it was too late.” The room spun. He sat down on the sofa. Kuma and Dakota came over to him, taking up position nearby.

  Frankie sat beside him. Her leg pressed up against his. The warmth reminded him that he was still living, breathing. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands.

  He’d tell her. She’d leave. But it would be better for her to know the truth.

  When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost a whisper. “When I was younger, I felt invisible. No one ever asked me if I was okay after Mom left. After Dad died. I felt alone. Over time, that feeling of helplessness turned inward and into anger. I took it out on my unfortunate opponents on the other hockey teams. Sometimes my own team. When I was angry people paid attention. But the wrong kind.” His throat was raw.

  Rocky took a long, steadying, breath. “Then, after a game one night, some of the rival team’s guys were taunting me. They were picking a fight. I gave in. Met them outside. One of them was hassling a girl. Wouldn’t leave her alone. I lost control. Beat the guy within an inch of his life. It was like all the rage just dumped out of me and onto him. It was ugly. He could have died. Don’t get me wrong, he fought back, along with three of the other guys on his team—them against me. The scar on my face came from a broken glass bottle. I sat in my truck for hours, bled all over my skates. Didn’t put them on again until...”

  “Until the other day,” she said, filling in for him as though she appreciated what that meant.

  He waited for her reaction, but she remained impassive. Quietly listening without judgment.

  “It wasn’t until the guys on my team realized that I was gone that they came outside and found us in the brawl. Two of the guys had been knocked out. One was under me as I punched the sense out of him. The other had a broken collarbone. They didn’t press charges because of my last name. I guess they were afraid my family’s money would back me and I’d be favored in court. I visited them all in the hospital. Made my apologies. My sincerest apologies. Frankie, I know what you’re thinking—”

  “You don’t. If you’re afraid that I hate you or that I’m leaving? No. You made your apologies. You have to reconcile with God and God alone.”

  He knew that, but how could he be forgiven? “I haven’t trusted myself since that night. I realized it was better, easier to be invisible so I retreated to the mountain.”

  “When you return to the truth of faith, you will find forgiveness and trust,” she spoke slowly, reverently. “There are six men at my house right now who would do the same thing in that situation if they witnessed a girl being threatened. Especially if that girl was me.”

  Six men? He realized she meant her brothers. One of them must’ve been in the window with her the other night.

  “But that wasn’t the only reason I left. I lost control. All my anger came out right then. It scared me.”

  “Have you learned of a better way to deal with your emotions since? To not let them get bottled up?”

  “Being up here on the mountain.”

  “What about prayer? What about acts of service? Reconnecting with people? Your brothers?”

  He grunted.

  Telling her everything sucked the wind out of him. He tried to catch his breath. She laced her hand through his. Held him tight, but she didn’t say anything else. Just sat there with him until the storm inside passed.

  “Will you pray with me, Rocky?” she asked after a while.

  She lowered to her knees, took his hands in hers and asked for forgiveness, for peace, for the fullness of his faith to be restored.

  Afterward, what he wanted to say to her was still on the tip of his tongue. It had been there since he’d watched her all those weeks ago in the firelight. She had a certain calm, a serenity that shone through her eyes, her skin, and made her beautiful inside and out.

  Then she said, “I see you. I want to see more of you. You’re not invisible.”

  He pulled her from the floor and into his arms, holding her, kissing her, promising never to doubt again. They held each other, but he knew it was really God holding them.

  “I felt like I was sleeping for years and you woke me up. Thank you,” he whispered as the darkness inside was illuminated. With love in his life, he had nothing to fear. Then, like when he was up on the mountain, the light came, bright, full, forgiving, followed by the words. “I love you, Francesca Costa.”

  “You love me?” She shifted her gaze away like a spooked dog, gazing through the window. “I don’t know. I—” she started. It was like she was at a loss for words.

  “What’s the matter?” Worry flooded him.

  She shook her head. “I have to think...” She let go of his hand and hurried toward the door.

  Kuma whined in question.

  Pausing, she said, “I just lost so much. I don’t know what’s next for me. You’re here and my life is back in New York.”

  “What do you mean?” Confusion smothered his mind.

  “I don’t want to risk...” Then she was gone.

  He was going to follow, but the letter caught his attention. Maybe it would explain what just happened. How was telling her that he loved her the wrong thing?

  He read her love letter. She saw the best in him. Potential for them.

  But her last words, “I don’t want to risk...” stuck in his mind the most. They came after he professed that their feelings for each other were mutual. Why did she run away just when things were getting good? Was she afraid of something coming between them so she didn’t even want to let them develop further into a relationship? If so, she was quitting before they even started. If he’d learned anything from hockey, he knew the old saying was true, “You miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”

  And Rocky was going to take a shot on them.

  Rocky had once believed he was damaged. He’d saved it all for the rink. Everything that was pent up flew out of him on the ice. He’d become wild. Uncontrolled. He had to learn to trust himself again, but he’d lost more than trust. He’d lost his best friends, his brothers, and his identity. Frankie helped him put himself back together. And whatever had scared her off, he knew it wasn’t him.

  It was something else.

  In the next days, Rocky met each of Frankie’s brothers. He’d rarely found himself intimidated, but he had a lot of love to live up to. Those guys adored their little sister. And they were all pretty tough in their own ways—not guys to mess with.

  Tommy challenged him to a game of cards and then told him the story of the family feud. He’d heard bits of a similar tale from his family, but now it all made more sense.

  After several hikes with the dogs, splitting enough wood for the following winter, and catching up on his carvings through the new year, Rocky knew what he had to do. He had to beat Frankie at her own game.

  One afternoon, when he knew she’d gone to town to get some food, he went over to the cabin and asked the six brothers an important question—one he worried he might get walloped for even suggesting. They conferred with one another in rapid Italian. By the sharpness of some of the words, he was sure they were the equivalent to balo
ney, biscuits and gravy, and shellfish—well, at least his father’s version of those select words. However, he walked away with all of his limbs intact and with the Costa brothers’ blessing.

  Next, he had to find his own brothers and talk with them. The fact that Hawkins Enterprises was being threatened from within had brought them together, but he wanted to reunite with them because they were brothers, family.

  He missed Tripp, Dallen, Blake, and Owen. He told them as much. Made his apologies, and asked for their help.

  Chapter 11

  Frankie

  Gio bombed down the driveway, headed for town. Frankie gripped the door handle. She’d hardly left the cabin in days, despite her brothers urging her to get out of bed, trying and failing to cook—though Gio and Luca weren’t half bad in the kitchen.

  She’d been able to listen to Rocky and his difficulties. She’d known what to say. But when it came to her own failings, her career in shambles and losing her restaurant, she was afraid that if things carried on between her and Rocky, she’d lose him too eventually. It would be easier not to let the relationship continue.

  “This isn’t a Vespa and we’re not in Florence,” Frankie said, pressing her right foot into the floorboard as if that would put on the brakes.

  She was tired, maybe even depressed. She missed Rocky but knew leaving Hawk Ridge Hollow as soon as possible would be for the best. However, she wasn’t sure where to go. She didn’t want to return to New York and all the reminders of what she’d lost. Maybe she’d go to Italy and see her parents, but they’d be disappointed in her—and if not that, it would just serve to highlight the disappointment she had in herself.

  “I don’t want to be late,” Gio said.

  “Late for what? We’re just getting food for dinner. I don’t understand why I needed to come.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Nico got plenty of food last time he was in town.”

  “It’s not what you need.” Gio narrowly missed a branch that stretched into the road.

  “I don’t feel like cooking.” She was feeling particularly argumentative even though it was Christmas Eve. “I doubt anything will even be open. It’s a small town.”

  “Shh. I have to concentrate.”

  “I don’t understand why Bruno couldn’t pick everything up either. He’s already there.” She wanted to pick a fight, to let everything out. She thought of Rocky’s grouchiness, which sunk her deeper into despair.

  “Bryan,” Gio corrected as he turned off the small, one-lane mountain road and onto the main route into town.

  “I can’t get used to calling our brother Bryan. He’s Bruno.”

  “With his new job on Wall Street, he prefers Bryan. Whatever. You go by Frankie and we don’t complain. Except about everything for the last few days after your loving brothers show up to grace you with our presence.” He used a mock-insulted tone.

  “You guys gave me the nickname.”

  Giovanni hushed her again and they were quiet for the rest of the ride.

  When they reached the town, the Winter Festival was hosting a special event and some of the cobblestone streets were blocked like they’d been when she’d first arrived in town.

  “I guess we have to park here,” Gio said.

  Frankie tried to give him directions to take a side street to get to the market easier, but he just got out of the car and hastened into the crowd.

  The town was bustling, considering it was Christmas Eve.

  “What is going on? You don’t even know where the market is,” she called as she elbowed past bystanders. They’d wandered into a charity event called Santas on Skates.

  Finally, she found Giovanni chatting up a pretty blond wearing a ski jacket.

  There were loads of people dressed in Santa costumes and others like elves with bells on their hats. They gathered around the public skating area. It was nice to see so many people involved in the charity.

  Gio tucked his phone in his pocket, presumably after getting the blonde’s number—her brothers were heartbreakers, every one of them. He grabbed Frankie’s arm and tugged her through the crowd.

  They climbed the bleachers surrounding the rink.

  “Gio, what about the sauce?” she whined. She didn’t necessarily trust Tommy to watch the pot on the stove.

  “I want to see this. I heard it’s cool.”

  Loads of people wore brown and green. A banner for the elementary school indicated those were the mascot colors—along with a cuddly-looking bear. The high school also had a banner, but it was black and gold, featuring a hawk and was well supported by the spectators wearing those colors.

  Frankie huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, but he pulled her to sit.

  A group of women in front of them were talking about the charity—she recognized two of them from the market.

  “Did you hear about the Turkey Trot? They raised a ton of money and one of the Hawkins brothers proposed at the end.”

  Another one of the women sighed loudly. “I suppose that only leaves Rocky.”

  “I saw him in town the other day. He was inside Carmichaels.”

  The other woman gasped. “Are you serious?”

  Frankie knew about the Turkey Trot proposal after meeting with Cece but had no idea what Carmichaels was.

  A Christmas carol suddenly boomed through a set of speakers and the crowd cheered. Hockey players wearing Santa and elf costumes appeared on the ice. The game began.

  As the game went on, Frankie tried not to think about skating with Rocky.

  After the Santa team scored, the two women continued chatting. “It doesn’t matter who wins. All the funds go to the schools anyway.”

  “Yeah, but the winning team comes back out and—” she cut herself short. The game was over. “What’s that? It looks like the Santas are writing something.”

  It was true. It looked like all of the people dressed in red held up signs against the white ice.

  I love you, Frankie.

  Her hand flew to her chest and she gawked at Gio.

  Then four of the Santas emerged carrying a banner. It said I’m sorry for being a Grinch. Then they flipped it over and it said Will you take a shot on us?

  One of the men on skates broke loose wearing a green Santa costume.

  It was Rocky. She’d recognize him anywhere—with his regular beard or a fake white one. “Wait a minute. How’d he know I’d be here?” she asked her brother.

  Gio grinned. “You can be so difficult, stubborn,” he said.

  “You were involved in this. I don’t understand. I thought you hated him.”

  “He may be a mountain man, but he has our respect. He did the right thing and asked for our blessing.”

  “What do you mean your blessing?”

  The Santa in the green suit was swiftly approaching. She didn’t want him to try to walk up the steps in skates so she climbed down and met him where the plank floor met the ice.

  The other four Hawkins brothers appeared, having dispensed with the banner. Their wives and fiancés met them too. They all made introductions: Costas and Hawkins.

  “Santas on Skates is an old tradition our grandfather started. It was just him, a friend with a Christmas tree farm, and gifts for the children,” Tripp said.

  “Over the years, other people joined and now it’s a charity fundraiser,” Dallen added.

  “But for the last few years, none of us participated.” Blake shook his head.

  “Thank you for bringing us back together,” Owen said. He held a little girl’s hand—his daughter Harper. Cece had mentioned the sweet little family.

  “You’re the cutest elf here,” Frankie said to her.

  She giggled.

  Sadie rubbed her belly. “And this time next year, we’ll have a new elf of our own.”

  Brynn and Kayla wrapped her in a group hug.

  Frankie was used to a big family, but as her brothers appeared from the bleachers, it was almost overwhelming. Then a woman wearing a
shiny red coat with a fluffy white hat appeared. Frankie met Judith, Rocky’s mother.

  The Santa in green took Frankie’s hands in his. “I may be grinchy and grouchy sometimes, but being with you makes me happy. It makes me want to celebrate Christmas and be with family. You make me want to come out of hiding. To live life again.” He spoke softly so only she could hear as they others talked loudly.

  Emotions overwhelmed Frankie. She didn’t know what to say, think or where to look.

  He drew her from the crowd. “Look at me.” He tipped her chin up.

  Their eyes met. Ice and fire. Invitation and warning.

  “There is no going back. Falling for you is something I don’t think I can return from. So I’m asking you, are you sure you want to take this risk? Are you willing to be mine? Because I’ll make you my star. You will own my heart from dawn to dusk to dawn again.”

  Only Rocky said it all in Italian. She spotted her brothers in the surrounding group. They all smiled in approval.

  Chapter 12

  Rocky

  Rocky leaned in, “Your brothers also taught me a few words my father would have my neck for, but that’s beside the point. I will learn to communicate better. Starting with my emotions. Starting now.”

  She could hardly believe her ears.

  “What changed?” she asked.

  “You. You changed me.” He shook his head as though he could hardly believe it himself. In part, it was the love letter she’d written—spoken from the heart. It was also that she accepted him—scars and all. It was also just her. She was perfect and yet embraced her flaws—not that he thought she had any, but she was comfortable in her skin and unapologetically herself. “I want to be with you. Escape to the cabin but also explore the world. Let’s go to Italy. India. Indonesia. Let’s travel everywhere. Let’s eat good food. Let’s adopt more dogs. You’ll write your cookbook...” She wanted to shout yes! What had she been thinking? What was she scared of?

  He lowered his voice. “Let’s kiss.”