I stood up and glanced around my living room, at the blood stains all over my floor. I started for the kitchen so I could get a dishtowel, but Knight grabbed my hand and stopped me.
“Don’t ever put yourself in the middle of a fight again,” he hissed.
I glanced up at him and felt my face flush with anger. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and continued into the kitchen, reaching for a wet dishtowel on the sink while trying to get control of my temper. But it appeared that wasn’t going to happen. “You aren’t the one who should be pointing out what I should or shouldn’t have done.”
“What do you mean?”
I brought the dishtowel to the living room and began soaking up the blood, hoping it hadn’t already stained my wood floors, cheap though they were. “You lost control of yourself. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I knew where my limit was.”
“Bullshit!” I railed, pausing to glance at him before returning my attention to the blood stains. “What the hell are you going to do if this gets back to the ANC?”
“I’ll handle it.” He shook his head and stretched his fingers out as if they were hurting him.
“If your hand hurts, it serves you right,” I said tartly as I stood up and returned to the kitchen, turning on the faucet to wash out Jack’s blood from the dishtowel.
He glanced over at me and frowned. “Thanks, Dulcie.”
But I wasn’t about to let him make me feel guilty for his bad behavior. “What the hell was that back there? You completely lost control of yourself.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Don’t try to pretend like you didn’t, Knight. I was there and I saw what happened. If I hadn’t gotten in the way, who knows what you would have done to him.” I paused as I considered it. “He’s human, you know?”
“Of course, I fucking know that!”
Then something dawned on me, something I hadn’t previously considered. “Is all of this because of what happened between us?” I didn’t wait for him to respond because I was already convinced the answer was a resounding yes. “I said I didn’t want you going caveman on me, remember? That I didn’t want a jealous and possessive man on my hands.”
“This has nothing to do with us, Dulcie. He was forcing himself on you and I intervened.” He paused for a second or two. “I would have done the same thing whether you and I were in a relationship or not.”
I couldn’t argue that because I imagined it was true. But it wasn’t the fact that he’d gotten involved that upset me; it was the degree to which he’d gotten involved.
“I’ll admit that the sight of him with his hands all over you upset me,” Knight added.
“I could have handled the situation myself.”
He frowned. “Sort of like you were handling it when I got here? With him holding you down while his other hand was under your skirt?”
I swallowed hard, trying to keep control of my temper. “I am a law enforcement officer and I know how to defend myself.”
“Then why weren’t you?”
I glared at him. “This isn’t about me, Knight, so stop turning the tables. You need to face the fact that you royally screwed up back there.”
“Should I have just watched him have his way with you then?”
“I would have gotten control of the situation!” I insisted again, feeling myself flush with anger. “The point I’m trying to make is that now I don’t know where we stand!”
Knight narrowed his eyes as he considered my statement. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I don’t want you to act like this. I don’t want to deal with your jealousy and your arrogance.”
“Jealousy? This has nothing to do with jealousy, dammit. Will you listen to yourself?” He slammed his fist into the wall and the entire room shook. “I heard you tell him no and he didn’t back away, Dulcie. Should I have waited until it was a rape before I intervened?”
“Stop blowing it out of proportion,” I yelled and before I realized what I was saying, the words were already out. “I knew this would end up being a mistake.”
“What?” Knight’s expression was hard to read but there was definitely a wounded look in his eyes.
“I told you what I didn’t want and it looks like this situation has turned into exactly that.” I could feel something bubbling up within me that felt like fear mixed with anger and I had to wonder if I wasn’t making a mountain out of a mole hill. Maybe I was overreacting? Maybe I was taking this too far? Maybe I truly was scared about the fact that I was in a relationship again and wanted to subconsciously sabotage it?
“Dulcie, tell yourself whatever you need to in order to keep that wall of yours up but this whole situation has nothing to do with it and I’m not going to stand here and take the blame for this.” He started for the door but turned to face me. “Just realize that this failed because of you, not me.”
I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything at all. I just watched him as he took a few steps, then he turned back to face me again.
“Oh, and you’re welcome for saving your ass.”
Before I could respond, he threw my door shut behind him.
Five
It was Friday night when Jack and Knight got into their confrontation. After Knight and I had argued and Knight walked out, I hadn’t talked to him all day Saturday and now it was Saturday night. And I wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that neither of us had called each other. The more I thought about it, though, I realized the answer was pretty, glaringly obvious. We were done. Over. Kaput. No longer.
I’d managed to last in a relationship for all of one night and one day. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt like I deserved some sort of raspberry award—“Dulcie O’Neil, so dysfunctional she can’t keep a man for longer than twenty four hours.”
It’s just as well, half of me said, because it was pretty obvious that Knight had become that jealous and possessive guy you expected. Maybe he’s always been that way? He’s cocky—you’ve always known that. And just because Jack wasn’t right for you, doesn’t mean that Knight was. And, really, maybe Knight was just a rebound anyway? I mean, you hadn’t dated anyone else after Jack, right? It’s better this way—better to keep your guard up and not fall for men and their bullshit.
The other half of me didn’t exactly agree. Knight wasn’t acting jealous or possessive. Yes, he was pretty hard on Jack but maybe that was just to teach him a lesson. From Knight’s point of view, it looked like you couldn’t defend yourself and that Jack was taking advantage of the situation. And you know Knight, yes, he’s cocky but you also know he’s so much more than that. You need to admit to yourself, Dulcie, that you screwed up. You freaked out just like Sam and Knight both knew you would and you looked for the nearest emergency exit. This isn’t Knight’s fault; it’s yours.
Any way you looked at it, I was at an impasse. It seemed like one minute I was resolute in the fact that Knight was a jerk and someone I wanted nothing to do with; and, the next second, I couldn’t help but think I was completely wrong. And when you, yourself, can’t figure out what the hell to do with your love life, you call your best friend.
I picked up the phone and dialed Sam’s number. She answered after the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Hey, Dulce, what’s up?”
I sighed. “I’m having man problems. What’s up with you?”
I could hear the clanking of a metal pan hitting the oven. Sam’s middle name should have been Betty Crocker. “Oh, I just made Trey some chocolate chip cookies with an itch charm to relieve that rash that’s all over his face. Have you seen it?”
If I forgot to mention earlier, Trey was a hobgoblin who worked for the ANC and helped us out a lot with the Dreamstalker case. Invariably, there was always something wrong with him. “No I haven’t been privileged enough to see Trey’s rash, Sam.”
She sighed as if Trey’s rash was occupying her mind, front, right and center. “It’
s really bad and he keeps making it worse by scratching it.”
As much as I liked Trey and was concerned for his well-being, I didn’t really want to spend the next Hades-only-knew-how-long discussing his skin ailments. “Oh well, tell him I hope he feels better soon.”
I could hear her turning a dial, probably setting the timer on the oven and then the sound of her heels as she walked across her tiled kitchen, no doubt about to throw herself into her favorite, over-stuffed, Pottery Barn living room chair.
“So what’s the problem with Knight?”
I didn’t even know where to start but I managed. I told her about Jack showing up, the fact that he wouldn’t leave and Knight arriving just at the moment that Jack had his hand up my dress. Then I continued with the part about Knight attacking Jack, ending my happy little story with the argument that ensued between Knight and myself.
“So what’s the problem outside of the fact that Knight might be in a load of shit if this ever reaches the ANC?” Sam asked.
“Well, yeah aside from the ANC issue which could be a total cluster fuck in and of itself, I uh sort of blamed the whole confrontation on Knight and I guess…” I took a deep breath. “I uh freaked out like you were worried I would.”
Sam sighed, which tacitly said she definitely thought I shouldn’t have blamed Knight. Dammit. I hate it when I’m the bad guy. “So call him and say you’re sorry.”
I glanced at my fingernails and started picking at my cuticles, trying to accept the fact that this mess was something wholly owned by me. “You think I should?” It was a rhetorical question.
“Are you sorry?”
Was I sorry? That was the million dollar question. Half of me was sorry, yes, and the other half was still fighting with the first half. But I must admit it was a losing battle because the more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt. And that had to mean one thing. “Yeah, I guess I am.” I stopped talking and zoned out on my wall for a few seconds as the truth of the situation sunk into me. “This whole thing is my fault.”
“Yeah, sounds about right,” Sam was quick to respond. “But that’s not a big surprise, is it?” Then she giggled.
And the truth of the matter was that it wasn’t a big surprise—not really a surprise at all. Deep down, I’d known the truth of the situation before I called Sam. I guess I just needed a second opinion. “Well that’s the answer I was expecting.”
Sam took a deep breath and exhaled until it sounded like I was having a conversation with the wind. “Dulce, I’m not going to tell you what to do and I know how difficult relationships are for you, but I think you need to look at the situation and ask yourself whether or not you acted fairly. I’m sure there is some truth to the fact that Knight was jealous and a little too hard on Jack. I mean, it sort of goes with the territory, you know? You are his girlfriend and any man walking into that situation with you and Jack would probably have reacted the same way.” She paused for a few seconds. “But didn’t it feel good to watch Jack get his ass handed to him?”
I laughed as I thought about it. I hadn’t realized it at the time but, looking back, it did feel pretty good that Jack finally got what he should’ve gotten two years ago. “Um, yeah, I guess I can admit taking some adverse pleasure in that.”
Sam just laughed and I felt suddenly incredibly grateful for her friendship. It’s not like I’m normally an ingrate where Sam is concerned or that I have ever taken her for granted; but sometimes you just have a moment when you realize how important your friends are and how much they mean to you. And Sam just has a way about her—she’s always right. “If you’re ever looking for a career change, I think you’d make a really great therapist.”
She laughed. “Well thanks but I’m not so sure about that.”
Then it occurred to me that Sam hadn’t really talked much about her own dating life lately. In fact, the last date (of which I was aware) she’d had was with the vampire, Bram. That situation was completely over and done with (not to mention ancient history). “So how’s your love life?” I asked.
“Um, well,” she started and then giggled which meant there was definitely a story in the makings. “I do sort of have a crush on a guy.”
I was surprised. This was the first I’d heard of it and suddenly I felt like a bad friend. Granted, the last few weeks had been pretty hectic for all of us—Sam especially. During the Dreamstalker case, Sam had fallen into a coma and nearly lost her life. Given those events, I guess it wasn’t so weird that I had no clue she was actually interested in someone.
“Spill the details,” I said with a smile.
“I met him the other day when I was at training.”
By training, she meant that she had attended a required ANC class, whereby she was probably learning the latest in potions and spells as well as new moves in self-defense/ offense. Given the fact that she’d met her mystery man in training, though, I could only imagine it must have been some sort of weapons training. Either way, it was pretty clear he was ANC, which was good in my books.
“What training?”
I could hear her tapping her permanently manicured fingernails against her table. “Oh, defense moves training. I, uh, volunteered to let him take me down.”
I laughed. “And has he taken you down in more ways than one?”
It was her turn to giggle. “No, not yet but I think he’s getting pretty close.”
“What’s his name?” I asked, wondering if I might know him. The ANC branch in Splendor was pretty small and I knew all the employees.
“Alex,” she said with a smile. “He’s from Estuary and he’s new to the force.” Estuary was one town over from Splendor. And, no, I didn’t know any Alexes.
“What is he?”
“A were.”
I nodded. In general, weres could be trouble because they had an incredible amount of energy and without the right discipline, they usually resorted to breaking the law. But, as with most generalizations, not all weres were trouble. This being a case in point.
“I’m really happy for you, Sam. I just hope he deserves you.”
“Well, we’ll find out.” She paused and I could hear her heels against her floor again. “So is everything copacetic?”
I thought about it. I’d gotten the answer I expected and now I knew exactly what I’d have to do. “Yep.”
“And you’re going to call Knight and apologize to him and beg him to take you back?”
“Um, I don’t know about ‘the begging him to take me back’ part but, yeah, I’ll call him.”
Sam laughed. “I’m sure it will be fine, Dulce. Knight is a good guy and he happens to be completely in love with you.”
“In love with me?” I repeated, my tone dubious as I considered it. Knight in love with me? I couldn’t see that exactly, not that I knew what love was; but he did seem to like me and I really liked him. So, basically, what it came down to was the fact that I screwed everything up and now it was time to play the part of repentant woman. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Welcome. Call me later.”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. I didn’t put it back on its cradle, though. Instead, I just stared at it in my lap as I tried to summon up any courage I possessed. I mean, it’s never fun eating humble pie; and I was about to have multiple helpings. I took a deep breath and picked up the phone, dialing Knight’s number as my hand shook. I really wasn’t good with this apology stuff.
It rang and I felt the breath catch in my throat. He didn’t pick up. It rang again and my heartbeat started escalating until I could feel the drumming in my ears. He didn’t pick up. Third ring…nothing. After the fourth ring, his answering machine kicked on and I felt myself panic. Should I leave a message or hang up?
I hung up.
Then I sat there for another few minutes while I weighed the reality of what had just happened. Was Knight at his house, screening his calls? Did he know it was me and just didn’t want to pick up? Was he really that angry with me? Or maybe he had a woman over? Mayb
e he was numbing himself in the arms of someone else? Angela from Bram’s nightclub, maybe? Or someone I didn’t know?
I felt anger brewing up within me and stood up, trying to calm myself. My mind was racing, taking me into territory that was completely ridiculous and, more so, painful.
At the sound of my dog, Blue, scratching at the sliding glass door, wanting some company, I walked through my kitchen and pulled it open, giving him a big smile and a pat on the head.
“What am I going to do about my life, boy?” I asked, leaning down, to accept his doggie kisses. “Ah, thanks.” Then I sighed and scratched him behind the ear. “Life would be so much easier if it were just you and me.”
Blue batted his tail against my legs and nudged me with his gigantic head.
Thank Hades for dogs.
#
It was Monday morning. I slept in too late and awoke to the shrill ring of the phone interrupting my slumber. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. The sliver of sun infiltrating my drawn shades acted like a knife to my eyes and I shaded them, feeling for the phone which sat beside my bed.
“Hello?” I said in a voice that implied whoever was calling better have a damned good reason to be waking me before…what time was it? I glanced at the clock. Before ten am.
“Dulce.” It was Sam and she sounded worried.
“What’s up?” I asked, sitting up straighter. Worry in someone else’s voice is never a good thing.
“Have you talked to or seen Knight?”
I felt something in my gut begin to stir—something like butterflies, only more malevolent. This felt more like the beginnings of angst mixed with dread. “No.”
Sam took a deep breath. “He never showed up for work this morning. I don’t know how many times we’ve tried calling him at home and we’ve tried his cell phone, but he doesn’t answer.”
It wasn’t like Knight to be late to work. His life was his work. I felt the angst mixed with dread turn into worry, verging on panic. “I tried him the other night and didn’t get an answer either.”
Great Hexpectations, A Paranormal Romance / Urban Fantasy (Dulcie O'Neil Series #3) Page 7