by Carol Devine
Mariah eased herself down at the table. "The smell alone will send me right back to the bathroom. I can barely tolerate the leftover smell of your eggs. Do you know if we have any crackers?"
He set his empty plate in the sink and started checking cabinets. "Crackers coming up. How about some tea? I think we have something herbal somewhere."
"Don't know if I can handle the smell of tea, either. How about a mug of hot water?"
"If you're feeling this bad, you should see a doctor."
"I'll have to drive to Aspen for that."
"I'll drive you if you don't feel up to it."
"No, you have too much to do. I'm the one who's between clients. I may go but I'm not convinced I need a doctor. What I need is rest."
"You have been working a lot lately. I barely saw hide nor hair of you the past few days."
"I know it's getting bad when I'm logging 60 or 70 hours a week. I'm thinking about hiring a secretary, maybe even a part-time investigator. I have the money. There's so much administrative work, it makes me tired just thinking about it."
"Ana could probably help you find somebody good."
"I'll give her a call after I eat my crackers and take my nap."
"Good plan." He picked up his hat. "I'm heading out." He kissed her cheek.
"Don't do that. You might get sick."
He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Mariah."
"I love you, Shane." She ruffled his hair then pushed him away. "Don't let those horseshoe nails get stuck in your boots today, okay?"
"It's a deal." He tipped his hat to her and slipped out the door.
Mariah laid her forehead on the table, too tired to straighten. She ate her crackers sideways, then rose, taking her mug of water upstairs.
Back to bed, she thought. Back to bed.
* * * * *
Mariah was waiting in a booth at the Tavern when Ana slid into the opposite side of the table and handed her a piece of paper. "Here's a list of some people I know who are looking to do office work."
Taking the list, Mariah stifled a yawn. "Thanks, Ana. Now all I have to do is scrape up the energy to call them."
"You do look a little sleepy-eyed. Up all night with the boss? He seemed rather chipper this morning."
"I wish. No, it's more like I've been hit by a Mack truck. Sometimes it's my stomach but most of the time what I want to do is take a nap."
"Are you coming down with something?"
"I think I'm simply rundown. Too many hours on the job. I started taking more iron and vitamins. Jury's still out, but I like to think it's helping. Either that, or the double expressos I've been downing at Sam's are having some positive effect. I can't seem to feel awake otherwise."
"If you're drinking that much caffeine, no wonder your stomach is bothering you. How long has this been going on?"
Mariah flung her ponytail back in a gesture of impatience. "I don't know. It's been building, maybe a few weeks. Thing is, I don't feel sick. Most of the time, I'm functioning fine. But lately I have to go to bed before ten p.m."
"Oh, my goodness. Before ten? You must be getting what, a full eight hours of sleep?"
"I can get by on less. Five or six hours is usual. Same with Shane. Me sleeping so much hasn't done much for our sex life."
"Please, no details. He's my boss for heaven's sake. It's like he's my brother or something."
"Who am I going to tell if not you? You're my best friend."
"Is he complaining?"
"Why should he complain? If I need to go to bed early, we can always do it in the morning. That's his favorite time."
Ana covered her ears. "Noooo ..."
"Thing is, I feel crappy in the mornings. He's very understanding but this can't go on forever without some kind of explanation. Maybe I should eat more at dinnertime. Or I should eat later, so my blood sugar is higher when I first wake up. Then I wouldn't feel so nauseous."
"Nauseous? Have you been vomiting?"
"Sometimes."
"And this happens in the mornings?"
"Yes, but--"
"Mariah, when was your last period?"
Mariah stared at Ana. "It's impossible."
"Why?"
"Once Shane and I got back together, I started on the Pill again. I usually don't have much bleeding."
"It takes awhile for the hormones to build up in your system. You know that, right?"
"What are you saying?"
"You should have been using a backup method of birth control for the first week after you started again. Did you?"
"But the Pill's always worked fine for me. I can't be pregnant."
"I would get checked out right away if I were you. You shouldn't keep taking birth control pills if you're pregnant."
"I'll stop right now."
"Does that mean you want the baby?"
"I've never thought about having a baby."
"Oh, come on."
"Well, maybe a few times when I was pre-menstrual and imagined hearing my biological clock ticking. But since my job at the FBI was all-consuming and I never found the right guy..."
"Have you found the right guy now?"
"Shane and I barely got back together. It's been what? A little more than a couple of months."
"But you've known him for quite a while now. Have you talked about kids at all?"
"Not in regards to us. He talked about it after what happened with the Travers boy. Shane felt pretty bad about how he ended things but I thought he handled himself real well. He'd be a great father. There's no doubt in my mind."
"I agree. If you want this baby, tell him straight, tell him your period is late. Buy one of those pregnancy tests and have him help you take it. Believe me, it's much easier to tell them that way, than you finding out ahead of time, deciding what you're going to do about it, then informing him of your decision."
"I don't know. He's liable to freak out if I come home with a pregnancy test."
"Shane isn't the type who freaks out."
"I'm not sure how to tell you this, but Shane is human, capable of freak outs like the rest of us. I'm freaking out right now and I'm a psychologist. How do I present the pregnancy test to him? Buy it and put it on his dinner plate?"
"Sounds romantic to me."
"Gag me with a thousand spoons."
"He has a sense of humor. Take my word for it, he'll think it's funny."
"I guess I'm about to see how funny it really is."
* * * * *
That night after dinner, when Mariah and Shane retired to the living room as they usually did to catch up on work, listen to music or read, she made a great show of yawning, shutting down her screen and stretching her entire body. "I'm pretty sleepy, Shane. Can we go to bed early tonight?"
Shane looked up from his reading and checked his watch. "It's barely nine thirty. I think you need to go to the doctor and find out why you feel tired all the time."
"I have a theory, but you need to come upstairs so I can show you."
"Show me?" That raised him from his chair. He put aside his reading, and lassoed her around the waist. "Last time we tried this, you fell asleep on me. Literally."
"I was on top, doing most of the work. Then I rested for awhile."
"You fell asleep for awhile. It wasn't bad in the beginning, but then you started snoring."
"I don't snore."
"Lately you've been snoring. Maybe you have a weird kind of cold that shows up at night and makes you sleepy and snory."
"Your surprise is in the bathroom."
"A surprise, huh?"
"I know you don't like surprises but I saved part of the surprise for both of us so we could share it."
"Sounds perfectly logical. Sexy even. Is it in the bathtub or the shower?"
"On the counter. Call me when you're ready."
"Aren't you coming with me?"
"I'd rather wait for you to call me after the initial reaction is over."
He shrugged and headed upstairs.
Apprehensive, she darted after him, feeling like a ten year-old on the apex of a roller-coaster, doomed to go down screaming. Even former Special Agents had weak moments. "Wait! I'll come with you."
She shoved him up the stairs and tugged him into the bathroom.
"This better be good," he said. "All this pulling and pushing is making me feel like a rank bull ready to buck his way out of the shoot."
She dropped her hold on him, too scared to seek the full-on expression on his face. She watched him in the mirror as he saw the box and picked it up. Frowning, he faced her.
"Is this a joke?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because it's a pregnancy test and you're on the Pill. How could you get pregnant?"
"Why don't I take the test? That would answer the most important question."
He opened the box and spilled the contents out on the counter. "Have you ever used one of these before?"
"No. Pass me the directions."
"I better read them, too." Holding the instructions together, they silently read, standing side by side. "Sounds simple enough," he said. "All you have to do is pee."
"And hold the stick."
"Do you want me to hold the stick?"
"Would you do that?"
"That's a trick question, right? If I say yes, I get pee on me and earn your respect. If I say no, I'll stay clean, but you'll be mad for reasons I won't understand."
"Where did you pick up that little nugget of wisdom?"
"I've done this before."
Shocked, Mariah dropped the stick as she was taking it out of the plastic wrapping.
"With who?"
"You don't know her."
"Thank God for small favors. And the verdict?"
"False alarm."
"How did you feel about that?"
"I was seventeen. I have to admit, it was a big relief. And I've done this with Ana."
"Ana! No, she would have told me."
"It was a long time ago. Maybe she forgot. It was her first baby with Chuck. They had gotten married but were both real young. She didn't want to tell him unless she was sure she wanted to keep it. That's why she wanted me there and not him."
"He wasn't the world's most supportive husband, was he?"
"Chuck's not bad. He needed to grow up. Doing that while you're newly married and having two kids by the time you're 23 is rough."
"Since you're the experienced one, tell me what to do and I'll perform the physical part as instructed." Calmer now, Mariah assumed the position on the toilet. Shane read the instructions and she followed them to the letter, then laid the stick on the bathroom counter while they waited for the result.
Shane settled against the counter, his expression unreadable. "I should ask what you're hoping for?"
"I hate to admit it, control freak that I am, but my emotions are all over the place. Maybe you should tell me what you're hoping for."
"You can probably guess. After what happened with Kelly Travers, I realized being a father is a tough job. Like I told you before, I don't think I have it in me."
"How can you say that? You were amazing with him. I think you'd be a wonderful father."
"I think you'd be a wonderful mother."
"Don't know about that. Since I grew up without one, I'm fuzzy on what's required."
"Some of it is instinctual. The rest... you're super smart, Mariah. Human beings are your specialty. You certainly know what not to do."
"If there is a baby, I want the baby. But I'm hoping you want it, too, and we can be good parents together."
"Thanks for saying that, Mariah. I was hoping the same thing."
"Are you ready?"
"No. Are you?"
Mariah's answer was to look at the stick. "It says yes."
"Yes, you're pregnant or yes, you're not?"
"What do the directions say? I think yes means pregnant."
Shane consulted the directions. "You're pregnant. That's what it says."
"I am?"
"You are!" Grinning, he boosted her up and her head smacked the ceiling. "Oh, shit!"
He set her down, frantic. Mariah rubbed her head, giggling.
"You are an idiot."
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, it barely got bumped. But next time this happens, you better be more careful."
"Next time?"
"If we're having one, we'll have to discuss family planning at some point because I certainly won't be taking the Pill again. It's something to think about."
"How can you think about that? I can barely take this in. This is miraculous. Mariah, we're having a kid. Together, we're having an actual, real live, honest to goodness--"
"Baby. Call it a baby. I don't want to be mistaken for a goat."
"An honest-to-goodness baby. I want to tell somebody. I want to call my mom and dad."
"I'd rather wait awhile."
"What for? This is big news!"
"It's early days yet. I'd like to go to the doctor and get totally checked out and make sure I'm healthy and the baby is healthy. Can we do that first?"
"You're right. It should be our secret for now."
Mariah looked down at herself. "It seems surreal."
"Take off your clothes. I want to check out your tummy. There has to be a sign."
"If there is, I can't find one. I looked this afternoon. Everything is the same. I've even lost a few pounds."
"That can't be right."
She rubbed her stomach and smiled at him. "Go ahead and look for yourself."
He started unbuttoning her blouse. "Any excuse to take your clothes off, Doc." He parted the blouse, revealing a red lacy bra. "Did you plan this?"
"My shirt has red in it so I wore a red bra. Big whoop. It's nothing to get excited about."
"Since you're wearing blue jeans, you must have blue panties then."
He unbuttoned her jeans and opened her zipper, revealing red panties that matched her bra.
"Denim is a much thicker fabric. Red doesn't show through."
"Such a liar."
"It's true!"
He pulled down her jeans and her panties, too. He knelt and stroked her stomach, checking it minutely, his gaze level with her belly button.
"What do you say? Is it bigger?"
"I have to admit, I'm more used to feeling this part of you than checking to see what it looks like." He pressed his big hand over her stomach.
Mariah rubbed her arms, getting cold. "Is the inspection over? I'm freezing and I can't keep my eyes open. I'm ready to put my jammies on."
He hunched closer to the ground. "Spread your legs. I want to take a look there, too."
"No!" She quickly yanked her panties back on.
"But I might be able to see something."
She snorted. "I can't believe you sometimes. You can be sweet and gross in the same second. Google pregnancy. You have my permission to look inside as many pregnant vaginas as you want. But mine's staying private."
"The doctor will look at it. If she gets to, why can't I?"
"Shane, stop. You're creeping me out."
"Can I at least go to the appointments?"
"Yes, of course. Just promise not to stand behind the doctor with a magnifying glass."
"Binoculars?"
Mariah hit him over the head with a towel, laughing. Shane lifted her again, only this time very slowly, so she wouldn't hit her head. She palmed the ceiling instead, looking down at him, wearing her most dazzling smile ever.
* * * * *
Shane lounged on the arm of the living room sofa, holding back his desire to pace impatiently while listening to Mariah pontificate on her many plans for their baby's upcoming birth. In his opinion, she was going overboard. In the month since the pregnancy test, they had seen both a obstetrician and midwife, found out the due date and the fact she was about three months along, and their bedtime reading had been reduced to books about pregnancy, childbirth and babies.
Mariah had printed spreadsheets
detailing to-do lists, appointments and a breakdown of the 27 weeks remaining until the due date. The information was also loaded on every one of their electronic devices while also delineated on a paper calendar on the refrigerator, along with a chart of what bodily changes to expect each week, an exercise schedule, as well as pictures showing the developing stages of the fetus, menu ideas to support the development, and a plan to cut back on her work hours while her new secretary and a retired ex-cop picked up the slack.
"Here are the facts," she said. "Because I'm 35, I'm in the high-risk category. According to scientific research, my ability to conceive will become less likely in the future. This may be the only shot we have. I need to do everything I can to ensure the pregnancy and delivery go smoothly. The wisest course of action is for me to move to Aspen six weeks before the baby is due so I'm as close to the hospital as possible."
"Why can't we go to the hospital as soon as labor starts? It's only an hour and a half drive. Is it really necessary to actually move?"
"I'm trying to insure the best outcome possible. You don't have to come with me. It's only a temporary move."
"Us staying together is the best outcome. It's important to me that I'm the one who keeps an eye on you."
"The doctor says I'm in good shape, remember? I promise you I'll keep it that way."
"I don't want us living apart from each other, either now or in the future. Aspen is too far for me to commute back and forth."
"It's only the last few weeks until the baby is born. The second I go into labor, I'll call you."
He considered her, gaze steady, conveying his usual male single-mindedness that she appreciated at times but also could drive her up a wall. "If you're moving to Aspen, I'm moving, too."
His obstinacy aroused hers. "The whole charging-to-her-rescue thing is getting old. Your horses are here. By the time I deliver, it'll be high tourist season. I don't need you to babysit me."
"I can train horses in Aspen just as well as I train them in Grizzly Springs. My staff will take care of the rest."
"You'll have to trailer them, won't you? And pay to board them and rent space to train them."
"I know plenty of people in the area who owe me favors, Mariah. I don't see a problem."