by Tim Marquitz
With God and Lucifer inside the same room with Longinus and Jesus, I’d determined that was the very last fucking place I wanted to be. Nothing good could come of me putting myself in that position. This was as crooked a family reunion as I could imagine, barring a delivery of Crisco and a DVD of Deliverance. Given the power levels of the folks involved, if anyone ended up squealing like a little piggy, it was a pretty safe bet it was gonna be me.
Longinus’ face appeared out of the clouds. “Are you coming?” I nodded just to get him to slip back inside. Seeing his bodiless head floating in midair like that was fucking eerie.
It looked like I wasn’t being given a choice of hanging outside. Sphincter tightened, I stepped through the cloud and into the room beyond. My eyes fluttered at what I saw, blinking to clear away the confusion.
The clouds were gone as was the massive building that soared into the sky. In their place was a small, wooden feast hall, like those you see in the movies about Vikings. The chill outside, something I hadn’t even noticed until I came inside, was replaced by a warm, delicate heat. Fires danced in a number of hearths built into the surrounding walls. The crackle of flames and the strong scent of burning wood struck me right away. It was oddly cozy after the gray emptiness of the world outside.
Numerous tables were laid out haphazardly across the floor of the hall with mugs and dishes scattered at random across their faces. Crumpled cloth napkins sat alongside most of the wooden bowls, but there was nothing else on the tables: no maps or plans or anything to make me think this place was anything more than a dining hall. It was also devoid of life.
“Wait here,” Jesus told us, moving across the room with his followers and slipping through a door on the wall across the way. It thumped shut behind them.
“Is this stupid?” I asked.
“Most likely.” Longinus sat and slid a pile of empty dishes out of the way so he could place his elbows on the table. The bench groaned beneath his weight but held, which, in and of itself, was a miracle given how much muscle layered his massive frame. Hopefully that wasn’t the only one we witnessed before we were on our way.
His answer did nothing to make me feel better about standing face to face with God. At least Daddy Dearest wasn’t waiting for us, but with no one around, there was no telling who Jesus had gone to summon alongside His Holiness. I decided I would rather stand, just in case. Of what, I had no idea, but there was a slim measure of comfort in having my feet under me. Even though I knew how stupid it was, like I was really gonna run away from God, I talked myself into trusting me. It’s a talent I have.
We hung around in silence for a few minutes before the door opened again. My heart sped to a highway hum as I stared on without blinking. I’d never met God, and I had no idea what to expect. Lucifer always told me He defied all expectations, His manifested form endlessly shifting through shapes and colors and substance as though he were everything in existence all at once, each part warring to be recognized amidst the whole. The hinges creaked and a shudder passed through me at the sound. My breath hung heavy in my lungs as I waited, and then there He was…in all His…
Uh…
I slumped onto the bench beside Longinus as a little old, white-haired woman stepped into the room, Jesus a few steps behind Her, closing the door at their backs. A gentle breeze arose in Her presence. My confusion must have been obvious on my face because She smiled.
“Is this not the face you imagined, Frank?” She asked, and I was suddenly aware that Lucifer had been right in saying the Almighty defied all expectations.
Who the hell expected Betty White to be God? Okay, maybe that’s a stupid question.
“Here, let me make you more comfortable.” With no hint of any power being manipulated, no sense of anything for that matter, She was suddenly a He. Much like my father did on Earth, God took on another unassuming human form. Middle-aged, just starting to gray at the temples, with a slight paunch to punctuate His average height and frame, He looked just like your normal, everyday teacher or Walmart greeter. I didn’t know which look was worse for my sense of awe.
“Better?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Not really, but I’m good, thank you.”
He smiled and came over to sit across from us. Longinus stared without looking away, but there was no malice in his eyes. If I was more perceptive, I might have said the look was one of grudging respect. While there was no love lost between Longinus and Jesus, it didn’t appear the ex-AC had any animosity toward the Father, which was something I didn’t quite understand. I certainly would have figured there would be, just on general purpose, if nothing else.
“And how are you, Maximus?” Jesus stood behind God as his father addressed Longinus.
“Forgive me, but I did not come to waste either of our time,” he answered politely but with no hint of deference toward God’s position. “My daughter has been kidnapped and brought to this realm. My sole wish is to find her and return her home.”
God nodded. “So Jesus tells me. You’re certain she is here?”
“I am. The alien who captured her used Baalth’s portal, the one he was using to supply you with additional energy to maintain your war, to bring them here.”
Unable to read anything in God’s expression, I watched as He turned and glanced at Jesus before returning His gaze to Longinus. “I see, but if this being brought her here, it’s certain he is on this plane no longer.”
Longinus stood, his meaty hands clutching the edge of the table. It creaked beneath the pressure. “Then tell me where I might find him.”
“I would ask something of you first, Maximus, before we discuss the issue of your daughter.”
“No. I will make no deals for the freedom to protect my child.”
“And I would not ask such a thing.” God’s deep blue eyes looked up at Longinus. “There is but one place where he could have gone without alerting me or my people of his passage…” His voice trailed off.
Longinus glared for a moment, and then sat, exhaling loudly. “What do you want from me?”
I sighed right alongside him, just catching on. There were no illusions in my head as to the nature of God. While most of the bible stuff is blown out of proportion or just plain wrong, Lucifer had always made it very clear that we and humans were truly made in His image, as was commonly believed. That said, the image aspect had little to do with our appearance and everything to do with our personalities, our emotions, our sense of right and wrong, and our characters in general. He built us from a pool of His experiences, of His imaginings, and we were flawed because He was.
The humans blame Lucifer for all the bad in the world, all the evil and foul deeds, but who the hell do you think plugged all that into him to begin with? God was a computer programmer: garbage in, garbage out. His experiences didn’t transfer properly into short, mortal lives. We just didn’t have the depth or breadth to comprehend the feelings and urges we were given. Shit, they didn’t even transfer properly to the angels who were granted immortality. Their brains just weren’t wired for the complexity of God’s existence. It’s no wonder He’s had a string of rebellions across the board. The one-size-fits-all option lacks the refinement necessary for such complex machines. Cram too many electronics into something and you can guarantee something is gonna blow up.
So here we were, getting a firsthand example of just how human God was. He was holding the location of Karra over Longinus’ head in order to get what he wanted. Something deep inside me laughed; a cold, bitter bark of amusement.
“I will not stand in the way of you retrieving your child, but I ask you return here, to me, once you have done so.”
“As I told your Son, I have no interest in your war. If existence is to end, so be it, but I will go into the hereafter with my daughter by my side.” Jesus shifted uncomfortably behind his Father. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut.
God rose to his feet. It was singularly unimpressive and awe-inspiring at the same time.
The waft of His presence was powerful, in defiance of His mundane appearance. “Your personal desires mean nothing to me, Maximus.” There was a sudden chill in his voice. “I need soldiers for this battle. There is far more at stake than the life of your daughter.”
I could have sworn Longinus growled.
“Many souls will be destroyed before this war is over, and though I will mourn each and every one, as they are all a piece of me, one or two more devoured by this conflict will not sway my intentions. If you would find your daughter without offering your services, you will do it on your own.” He waved Longinus off.
Clear as day, the threat settled over us. God was gonna let us go like Jesus had promised, He just wasn’t gonna let us go where we needed to, and there was no way we would find Karra if He chose to interfere. My anger welled in my throat, and I stood and turned my back on the Almighty, stepping away from the table to keep from losing control. Even I knew better than that.
“Damn you,” Longinus told him. “I’ll fight your war, but only after I have my daughter.” I heard the bench slam against the stone floor as Longinus stood. “Tell me where this creature is that took my child, and I will lend you my sword when I have dealt with him.” His disgust was plain, each word ragged for the guillotine of his tongue.
“The only bargain on the table is that you do as I ask; both now and after you have accomplished your mission here, or you garner no assistance from me. Are we clear, Maximus?”
So much for respect.
The low rumble of Longinus’ anger was palpable. It was a long moment before he spit out a reply. “I agree to your brigand’s terms, Elohim.”
“My Son will explain what I need,” God said at my back, not bothering to respond to Longinus’ tone. “I have your word, Maximus.” There was the scrape of soft footsteps, and then He was gone, the squeak of hinges signaling His departure. I turned back around to see Longinus’ shoulders hunched, his hands clenched into fists so tight his knuckles stood out against his tanned skin. Jesus stood before him in silence, waiting to see what the ex-Anti-Christ would do.
“He has my word,” he barked at Jesus. “Now tell me what you must.”
Christ nodded, but there was no hiding the flicker of his smile. “The rebellion you stumbled into has plagued us since our victory.”
“Not much of a victory if you’re still fighting the peasants,” I said, earning dirty looks from both sides of the table. Hands raised, I shut up.
“Regardless, we have little time to hunt the source of dissent as we prepare for our next operation. The first of your efforts is to find who leads the uprising and bring it to an end.”
Longinus waved an impatient hand in agreement. “Then let us be on our way.”
Christ nodded and slipped around the table, directing us back the way we’d come. Longinus stormed after him and I followed a few steps behind him. Used to dealing with demons, every agreement punctuated with blood, ball sweat, and tears, there was no reason for me to still be upset, but I was. God had bullied and intimidated Longinus into servitude at the cost of Karra’s life. It was a disgusting example of the apple not falling far from the tree.
Before we’d reached the portal wall, which would lead us back outside, there was a sudden commotion, and two people appeared through it ahead of us. My heart went still in my chest as I felt the essences roll over me, recognition of spirit and face coming to me all at once.
It was Xyx…and Lucifer.
The world froze for a moment. Xyx stopped dead alongside Lucifer, whose eyes swung to take in Longinus. I saw the flicker of hatred flare up in their depths. He’d cast aside his earthly appearance of a graying, older man, trading it in for a more traditional one. His skin was a deep shade of crimson, traces of blue and black shining through as he moved. His hair was shaved into a Mohawk, which was braided down his back, the tail of it set with barbed spikes. Short nubs of horns stood out on his forehead, the tips curved downward toward his crystalline eyes. They danced with his inner fire.
Not quite as big as Longinus, but certainly as intimidating, he met the ex-Anti-Christ’s gaze with a sneer, brilliantly white teeth showing. “Maximus.” He’d used Longinus’ real name, but unlike God, it wasn’t deference he was showing. He was challenging Longinus accomplishments, diminishing them by not recognizing the moment he came into his power, just as Jesus had done.
To my surprise, Longinus just nodded and stepped through the wall without saying a word. He clearly wanted nothing to do with Lucifer after his clash with God. Unfortunately, that left me the sole target of Daddy’s attention. His gaze devoured me, but he held his ground not stepping any closer.
“Triggaltheron,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “You smell like death.”
How pleasant; and you smell like elderberries. I followed his example and stayed where I was, no pretense of familiarity to ruin the frigid standoff. “Nice to see you, too…father.”
A crooked smile colored his lips. “Baalth had said he’d told you the truth of your bloodline. I’m sorry that was how you had to find out. I had intended another way.”
“You mean by not telling me at all?” The words were out of my mouth before I’d realized they were gone, but I found I didn’t regret them.
The smile slipped from his lips. “I had my reasons.”
“Disappointment chief among them, I’m sure.”
Lucifer sighed. “There was some of that, for certain, Frank, but only at the waste of your potential. You could have been a force to be reckoned with, the Anti-Christ. You could have been—”
“You?” I asked and shook my head. “I never wanted that, and you can’t lie and say it’s what you wanted either.”
He shrugged. “What I wanted never mattered to you before, so why should it now?”
“Maybe it was because you forced it on me.” I could feel my cheeks warming as memories and old grievances rose to the surface. “I’ve never made a decision that wasn’t directed by you, wasn’t overseen by your plans and clandestine machinations…at least not until I decided it was time to stop bothering being anything. It wasn’t until you realized I would make a poor Devil that you stopped overtly shaping my life. I’m just pissed you didn’t care enough to notice I’d given up sooner. Maybe my life would have turned out better.”
“Life is what you allow it to be, boy, what you make it. That was the message I tried to impart.”
I laughed. “And how’d that work out for Mom, huh? Do you think she chose to be a victim? That she made a conscious decision to be hacked up into a million pieces and strewn about a barn?”
“Your mother—”
“Is but one part of all this. You’ve manipulated everything—everyone—and then you have the plums to stand here and say it was our fault? We chose to be fucked up? You slaughtered Longinus and chased his daughter out of Hell so you could satisfy your fucking sense of revenge over being butt hurt, all while lying to me so you didn’t have to soil your outfit with any of the blame.”
Lucifer exhaled hard. “Is this about a woman, Frank?”
I took a step forward, planting my feet and posting right in front of him. “Yeah, maybe in some roundabout way it is,” I answered. “You had feelings once, feelings that led you to think of my mother as more than a piece of meat, just another conquest. You went to war for that feeling, for that love, against your own brother, even. That’s where I stand now, in those exact same shoes where I’m forced to choose sides and you’re making it easy. Hundreds of years later, I’ve found the happiness you stole from me when I was just a kid and didn’t know any better. I won’t let you, or God for that matter, take it from me ever again.”
If I were capable of believing he still had feelings, I could have imagined the look I saw on his face as hurt, as the understanding he’d made a mistake and wanted to atone for it, but I knew better. Lucifer gave me exactly the expression he thought I wanted to see because pacification was the quicker way to shut me up. He reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, and I b
atted it away. I didn’t want him touching me.
“I’ve been nothing but a pawn from the day I was born, and probably even before then, so don’t get sentimental and pretend I’m more than that now.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out slow. “You’re the reason my mother was murdered…it was your fault. I’ll be damned if I let you kill Karra, too.” Before he could say anything in response, I stomped past him and strode through the wall into the waiting grayness beyond. I expected him to stop me, but he didn’t bother.
Longinus was a good distance from the portal when I popped out, pacing about in the dull haze, which was the only good thing to come out of all this. He hadn’t been close enough to hear me out myself as Lucifer’s son. That was a bridge I was gonna have to cross eventually, but not until Karra was safe and sound back home. I could deal with it then.
Jesus appeared behind me a moment later, and I could feel his eyes on my back. He hovered there.
“What do you want?”
He came around beside me. “I know it’s not my place, but don’t you think you were rough on Lucifer? He has changed quite a bit since you saw him last.”
I shook my head and laughed. “You’re right, Doctor Phil, it isn’t your place. The last thing I need is relationship advice from you. You and your dad really nailed that father-son thing, huh?”
Christ clenched his teeth and huffed off without saying anything. Insulting him might not have been the smartest thing to do, but there was an inherent satisfaction in getting to lash out at someone on his side of the fence. It was probably something in my genes. Whatever it was, I still needed him to lead us to Karra so I drifted off after him. He’d turn the other cheek, right?