She stared at him, her lips parted and her breath catching a little on the inhalation.
“Oh Cade,” she whispered. “Why do you have to?”
It wasn’t the answer he expected and now that her words hovered in the air between them along with his own, he didn’t know what the hell to do. Why wouldn’t she see reason? Why couldn’t she understand that he was lousy for her?
He might be the chief of police but some part of him was just as wild and lawless as the rest of his family. Did he really have to prove it to her?
Apparently so. Without thinking beyond that, he made a low sound in the back of his throat and yanked her against him.
* * *
AS CADE KISSED her again, his mouth hungry and urgent, all the heat from before roared back like they hadn’t just spent the last hour apart.
They picked up right where they’d left off, as if both of them had been at a slow simmer and only needed a tiny spark to blaze out of control.
His mouth was warm and tasted of chocolate and caramel from Marshall’s birthday cake and she wanted to lick every last inch of it.
She was vaguely aware of the gathering darkness as the sun went down, of the rain that had slowed to a patter, of the wipers still beating it back.
Mostly, though, she was consumed with him, with Cade, this man who had been part of her life forever.
Though the heat was there, midway through their kiss shifted from urgent, needy, to something slower, more deliberate, but infinitely more arousing. He kissed her as if he couldn’t get enough, as if he treasured each taste and wanted to remember it always.
All the words she had said about his compassion and decency seemed to slide through her thoughts, jumbling this way and that until they seemed to catch on each other like magnets, forming one overriding thought she couldn’t ignore.
She was in love with him.
She blinked with shock as the world came back into focus a little. The realization was still there. Indeed, it seemed to be swelling, expanding, until it crowded out everything else.
She was in love with Cade Emmett.
She probably had been since he was a boy in too-short jeans and a ragged T-shirt working out in her mother’s garden in exchange for a bag of green beans or a basket full of corn.
She thought it was merely healthy attraction for a gorgeous man, mixed in with the lingering crush from her childhood, but this was so much more.
Emotion swelled in her throat, thick and hot, and tears burned her eyes.
She couldn’t tell him. And how horrible was that, suddenly discovering she had this vast reservoir of love inside her at the same time she knew without question he wouldn’t want it?
She hitched in her breath, refusing to cry. He might not want her love but it was quite obvious he wanted her and she wasn’t about to give up this chance to be in his arms.
His fingers traced her face, the curve of her ear, the expanse of skin bared by her summer dress and she wrapped her arms around him tightly, wishing they could keep the world at bay forever.
Amid the warmth they generated between them, she suddenly felt something cold pressed against her shoulder that made her twitch away.
She shifted slightly and came face-to-face with familiar brown eyes, watching the two of them with curious interest.
Her dog.
She eased away from Cade with a breathless laugh. “Pete, you scared me!”
The dog must have climbed over the seat from the cargo area to the backseat. She didn’t want to think about the muddy footprints he was probably leaving all over Cade’s leather.
“Get down,” she ordered. When the dog settled onto the seat, she turned back to Cade, ready with an apology, only to find his features had once more turned to granite.
“I guess that clears things up, doesn’t it?” he said, his voice as hard as his expression.
Not for her. Realizing she was in love with him only made everything more murky and confusing. She’d never been in love before. What was she supposed to do now?
“Not really,” she murmured. “You kissed me. That doesn’t make you some kind of...criminal.”
“It makes me just like the rest of the Emmetts, who take what they want without thinking about stupid things like rules and pesky laws—who act first and worry about the freaking consequences later.”
He genuinely believed what he was saying. He thought kissing her put him in the same category as his father, who died in prison after being convicted of armed robbery. If she hadn’t been such a mess, she might have found it laughable.
“Exactly what are the dire consequences of two unattached adults kissing?”
“You’re not that naive, are you? What would happen if Mayor Shaw happened to drive by and caught us steaming up the windows? Or Jane Parker from the Haven Point Sentinel? The chief of police and one of his officers found making out in the front seat of the chief’s SUV. Great headline, isn’t it?”
“Nobody can even see us back here.”
“Yeah, it’s dark and it’s rainy, but people know my vehicle and we’re parked in your driveway. They can do the math.”
“What does it matter? Nobody cares!”
That clever mouth tightened. “Again, don’t be so naive. My job is tough enough without everyone in town gossiping about how I’m banging one of my officers between traffic stops.”
“When exactly did we jump from kissing to banging? I can’t believe I missed that part.”
“I’m a guy. In my imagination, that’s exactly where we’ve been since I kissed you the day of the fire—over and over, in every possible position.”
Yes, she knew he was being crude on purpose to shock her back to her senses but now her own imagination caught hold and everything inside her ached with yearning. She closed her eyes, wondering how she was possibly going to get those images out of her head now.
“Good to know we’re on the same page,” she finally murmured.
He stared at her. After a long, tense moment, he swallowed with effort and jerked his gaze out the window, where rain continued to trickle down the glass.
“You said your dad believed I was a good man,” he said, his voice low. “Someone with honor. I’m having a tough time agreeing with him right now.”
“Because you’re attracted to me, that makes you without honor?” she whispered.
“If I act on this—if I went inside with you right now and turned my completely inappropriate fantasies into reality—I would be betraying everything I have fought to overcome since I was a stupid kid caught stealing beer at the Gas N Go. I won’t do it, Wyn. No matter how badly I might want you.”
She let out a shaky breath as the dark conviction in his voice seeped through her jumbled emotions.
“You work for me,” he went on. “Don’t you see the impossible position I’m in? My job is everything to me and I can’t risk it—I won’t risk it—for something that would just scratch a momentary itch.”
She had been about to tell him about her own trip to Boise this weekend, the choices she was considering but his last words made her see how fruitless that would be.
This wasn’t about his position as police chief. He didn’t share her feelings. He wouldn’t let himself share her feelings. She folded her hands together at her stomach, wishing she could hold back the icy fingers of reality that were beginning to spread there.
She loved him and he would never love her in return. How pathetic could she be?
“Where do we go from here, then?” she murmured.
“Nowhere,” he said firmly. “As far as I’m concerned, tonight never happened. Neither did anything else between us this past week. I’m going to go home and get some much-needed sleep and in the morning I’ll have my head screwed on straight again and be able to focus on what’s important—p
rotecting the people of Haven Point.”
Well, that firmly let her know her place in his world. As long as she wore the uniform, she mattered to him and he refused to let himself have any interest in getting her out of it.
“Fair enough,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t wobble on the words. “Come on, Pete. Let’s go.”
She opened her own door and grabbed the bag of leftovers her mother had sent home with her, then climbed out to open the door for Pete.
She heard Cade swear behind her then a moment later he joined her, umbrella opened to keep her dry on the short walk to her front door. That’s right. She was a citizen of Haven Point, one of those he had sworn to serve and protect. Right now that particular citizen wanted to shove that umbrella right back in his face.
At the door, he grabbed the leftovers from her while she worked the key in the lock.
Pete immediately pushed his way inside, headed for his food and water. She thought Cade would rush to get away from her. Instead, to her surprise, he followed her into the house and turned on the lights of her small entry for her.
He hadn’t bothered with the umbrella himself, she realized, and his hair was slightly damp and curling at the ends. It made him look oddly vulnerable.
“Wyn, I’m not the man you think I am,” he said, his voice grave.
“Oh, you have no possible idea what kind of man I’m thinking you are right now,” she retorted.
His mouth lifted into a sudden smile she was quite sure surprised both of them but it faded as quickly as it appeared.
“I don’t want you thinking this is...any more than a physical attraction. I’m not the sort of man you should lose your heart to.”
The organ in question gave a sharp, hard twinge, as if to reinforce that his warning came too late.
“You might be the chief of police for the department where I work, but that doesn’t make you boss over my heart,” she answered softly.
His gaze sharpened as if he was wondering whether her heart was already involved. For an instant, she thought she saw a fierce joy flash there but it quickly gave way to something that almost looked like despair.
“Don’t,” he said roughly. “If you knew the truth, you would hate me.”
“The truth about what?”
He looked as if he regretted saying anything. Lines of exhaustion had appeared around his mouth and his features were taut with fatigue. He’d already been through an emotional day after a difficult week. She might have been sorry for him, if she had any room left for compassion in her poor battered heart.
“Forget it,” he said. “Just forget everything. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He turned and walked back through the rain without bothering to use the umbrella.
She didn’t close the door behind him until she saw his taillights turn into his own driveway down the street.
Forget everything, he said.
How could she? Her entire world had just been upended and she felt as if everything stable and comfortable had been shaken to the core. She was in love with Cade Emmett, the stubborn, impossible, wonderful chief of police.
What was she supposed to do now?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I THOUGHT YOU weren’t going to be able to make it today!” McKenzie exclaimed when Wyn walked into her store room at Point Made Flowers and Gifts in her uniform a little over a week after she’d returned to work.
“I was able to rearrange my lunch hour but I can’t stay long. Looks like you’ve called out the troops.”
Indeed, it looked as if the entire Haven Point Helping Hands had turned out for the emergency meeting called by McKenzie—with the exception of Katrina and Samantha Fremont, who had gone climbing in Jackson with Carter the wonder-boyfriend.
For once, she wasn’t sorry her sister was absent. Kat had tried to pin her down repeatedly about that scene she had stumbled onto at Marsh’s party. Each time, Wyn had to tap-dance around the interrogations like she had the evasive skills of a hardened criminal. She wasn’t fooling her sister. Katrina was certain something was going on between her and Cade—she just hadn’t figured out what yet.
“Hi, Wyn.” Andrea Montgomery smiled at her and Wyn grabbed the last empty seat at the table, next to her.
She was happy to see Andie looking so much more relaxed and comfortable than she had when Wyn first met her just a few short weeks ago. It was great to see her here. Apparently the meeting she had attended the week before hadn’t scared her off.
“What’s the big emergency?” Wyn asked.
“Desperate times, my friend,” McKenzie answered. “This is our last chance before the fair this weekend and I’m just not sure we have enough inventory. The library is still trying to replace the books they lost because of the little plumbing disaster in the children’s section. We’ve allocated emergency funds to replace them but Julia Winston says it’s not quite enough. I’m hoping we can help make up the difference. I figured one more batch of our special Christmas on the Lake ornaments wouldn’t hurt.”
“You do know Aidan will help with whatever the library needs, right?” Eliza said.
McKenzie looked grateful. “Ben would too. Trust me, it’s nice to know we have a couple of fat-cat donors waiting in the wings.”
“And I’m sure they appreciate you calling them that,” Wyn said drily.
Kenz grinned. “You know what I mean. We could have them donate but I want the community to feel invested. People care more for something when they have a stake in it. If we can take care of the children’s collection at the library without having to call on Ben or Aidan to help, then we can hit them up when we have an urgent need somewhere else.”
That was McKenzie. Always thinking. She loved Haven Point almost as much as Cade did.
Wynona gave an inward grimace. She had tried so hard to push the man out of her head this last week. Obviously, she wasn’t doing a very good job. He tended to show up there at the oddest moments.
Resolutely, she pushed him out again and plopped into an open seat next to Eppie Brewer and across from Andie and Eliza.
“I’m sorry I missed your self-defense class yesterday,” Eppie said. “I had Ronald drive me to the eye specialist in Boise.”
Poor Ronald Brewer, who had become the de facto escort and chauffeur for his wife and her sister since his twin brother died a few years back.
“Is everything okay?” Wyn asked.
The other woman made a face. “Stupid cataracts. The only good thing about having them is that when they operate, I can lose the glasses. I’ll just need bifocals for close work like this. Did we learn any hot new moves in class?”
“We mostly practiced what I’ve already taught.”
Devin’s yoga class had really enjoyed the self-defense lessons she taught during her suspension—which seemed a lifetime ago—and they had asked her back to teach more on a regular basis.
“We’ve been practicing,” Hazel said.
“That’s right,” Eppie said. “I can’t wait for some bad guy to come out of the bushes at me. He’ll be sorry he messed with this old broad.”
Wynnie grinned, picturing Eppie on the sidewalk in fighting stance yelling, “Come at me, bro” while Hazel cheered her on from the sidelines.
Oh, she would miss them all so much. Hazel, Eppie, Aunt Jenny and the rest.
The familiar mix of emotions of the last few weeks jumbled around inside her again—trepidation, sadness, anticipation, fear.
She still wasn’t certain she was making the right choices but at least she no longer felt frozen, suspended in limbo.
Life couldn’t stay the same. It was like the Hell’s Fury, always changing a little from year to year. She had to shift her own course to change with it. The alternative was unbearable.
The transition would be t
ough. Just thinking about leaving Haven Point and all her friends made her heart ache, but she couldn’t let that hold her back. She didn’t want to leave but she knew staying was impossible, especially now.
“Did you still plan to start the self-defense classes that are open to everyone?” Andie asked from across the table.
The question seemed casual but she sensed an intensity in her friend’s eyes. Though she had been by several times to visit with Andie and the children, she purposely hadn’t pushed the other woman to tell her what had really brought her to Haven Point.
“You know, I haven’t given it more thought, to be truthful. You’re more than welcome to come to Devin’s yoga class. We work on self-defense for the last forty-five minutes, from about nine forty-five to ten thirty on Wednesdays at the community center.”
“The restaurant has been busy so I haven’t had time to get to your class. What kind of things do you work on?” Barbara Serrano asked.
“Only a few moves that might help you get out of sticky situations. Nothing too elaborate.”
“You ought to teach all of us some of those moves,” Linda Fremont said. “Do you know someone is sexually assaulted every one hundred seven seconds in this country?”
“I did. Yes.”
She had firsthand knowledge of that particular grim statistic, not something she shared with anyone or even thought about much anymore. It had happened. She couldn’t change the past but it no longer consumed her as it had once. The course of her life had changed so much, sometimes she thought that day had happened to someone else. She no longer seemed like the same heedless college coed who had been date-raped.
Andie, she noticed, was looking down at her hands and her features seemed to have paled a shade. She frowned, wondering if that was the source of the fear and uncertainty she had sensed in Andrea when she moved to Haven Point. Had she been attacked?
“Every woman should learn a few basic self-defense moves,” Wyn said. “They’re not always practical to use, but sometimes it can make all the difference. I’m happy to teach a class or two outside the yoga class. Maybe we can reserve the big meeting room at the community center one evening.”
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